It’s Different with Two

Every once and awhile we are asked by new parents (or soon-to-be parents) about our transition to parenthood. And inevitably, we’ll admit that the bigger transition for us came when we had two kids, not one. Of course, the difference between being a parent and not was momentous and changed our lives greatly. But there was a lot about our day-to-day life that we kept doing with our eldest. She was an easy-going baby and we just dragged her along with how we normally did things.

Back in 2010, adjusting to two kids!

But once we had our second child, we realized we were going to have to rethink things. We couldn’t just drag two kids along and keep doing life like we did before. Sometimes we would have to divide and conquer or just make different choices. Somehow the life change felt bigger going from 1 to 2, rather than from 0 to 1.

Thirteen years have passed and we are facing another big change. Again you might have thought that the bigger change already happened last year when our oldest went to boarding school for the first time. And admittedly that was big and we have had to learn a lot in the last year. But still having two kids left at home meant the kids still outnumbered us, we still always had sibling dynamics in our household.

Our oldest two now in 2023

This year our second-born goes to boarding school, joining his older sister there.  So now our youngest will suddenly be an only child. Suddenly, we’ll have more kids out of the house than in the house. With two gone, it feels like a bigger shift for our lives, for our family.

With two kids home, we basically just kept the same family rhythms that we did with three kids at home. But now with just one, we’re realizing that we are going to have to rethink things. We’ll probably need to reconfigure household chores.  I’ll need to rethink how much I make for meals. We may need to come up with different routines. We’ll need to be aware that our youngest will need more of our time as he won’t have a sibling to play with or bounce ideas off of. It’s going to feel quite different.

We just marked 20 years of marriage this past week, and in those years there have been lots of transitions and big life changes. But after reflecting on the different changes, it is comforting to know that each one has its good parts. So even as we face a new change with all the accompanying grieving and adjustment, we can have peace that there will be wonderful new blessings that will come with this change. We may have to rethink things, but we’re excited to see our older son grow as he experiences independence, makes friends, and learns more about himself through the variety of unique experiences that boarding school will offer that he couldn’t have had on the islands. We’re excited to see how our relationship with our younger son may deepen and how being the only kid at home might encourage him to grow and develop in new ways. We look forward to seeing how our daughter’s plans to look out for her younger brother at school might strengthen their relationship and lead to both of them thriving more there.

Anniversary dinner. 20 years!

It’s going to be different and in some ways harder with two gone, but we endeavoring not to begrudge the change and to be thankful for all that it will bring.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The time doing safari with Tom’s family went very well. They saw tons of animals and had a great time. Tom’s family made it safely back to the US. Our son’s tummy didn’t continue to bother him. Megan’s surgical wound is healing nicely. We had the chance to visit our kids’ school and meet his dorm parents and see his future dorm. It was nice to help imagine more what his life will be like. Our teammate has said her goodbyes and made it safely to the big island. We celebrated 20 years of marriage! It has been a good 20 years. Several workers on the islands have had health issues lately, but with prayer have seen God provide recovery and healing.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We say goodbye to our two oldest on Friday afternoon. Pray that we could have a great time as a family this week. Pray that all of us would transition well to this new chapter. Pray for a smooth adjustment to boarding school. Continue to pray for Megan’s recovery, that the pain she’s had post-surgery would diminish and go away completely. An island brother on the big island had an accident this week that left him temporarily paralyzed. He has recovered feeling and some movement. Pray with us for his complete healing! One of our teammate’s house helpers has been studying the truth and appears to have had a breakthrough. Pray that she would be willing to be connected with island sisters and share with others what she is learning.