Island Birthdays

Kids at the party

When the kids were invited to a birthday party this week, we were reminded that island culture is not as standard as one might think.  Sometimes on the islands we get to see the clash of cultures.  Nowhere is this perhaps more apparent than a children’s birthday party.  Birthday celebrations are not native to the islands.  It’s only in the most recent generation that people even know their birthday.  Yet despite the fact that birthdays are a relatively new import, islanders have taken this and made it their own…sort of. Islanders at least have clear ideas about what the essential elements of a birthday party are:

First and foremost it must have extremely loud dance music. We got to the birthday party early, so the music wasn’t really going yet. At first I hoped they would be doing something more low-key, but eventually the ear-splitting songs began.  It doesn’t seem to matter what age the birthday girl or boy is, there will be extremely loud dance music. This weekend (like several kid parties I’ve been to) none of the kids wanted to dance. They were all shy and lined the walls of the room with the blasting music. Adults came by and encouraged/commanded the kids to dance but often times the kids didn’t seem to really enjoy it, but it’s part of every birthday party. Our boys were disappointed, “I thought we would play. But every time we try to go outside and play they yell at us to get back inside and dance.” This time the “dancing” time was eventually helped by the giving of some balloons which the kids threw around the dance floor in lieu of actual dancing.

Second a birthday party must have snacks. There is a limited list of acceptable snacks, usually homemade treats like samosas, mini-cakes, popcorn… Usually there are peanuts and some candy.  Everyone gets a little snack plate and eats everything on their plate before returning to “dancing”.

Birthday girl being fed cake

For kids birthdays it is also expected to give presents. As you enter the party with a gift, you must find the birthday boy or girl, personally hand them your gift and give them bisous (the French greeting with a kiss on each cheek). Again it doesn’t matter if the birthday girl is 1 year old, everyone must “hand” her the present and give her bisous.  As people came with their presents this weekend, I noticed that several people gave plain, unmarked envelopes. Knowing islanders, I knew that they have just given cash in place of a present. No card, just an envelope with money— given with bisous of course. The presents are put in a back room- presumably opened sometime after the party.

After a bunch of eating and dancing comes the climax. All birthday parties must end with a frosted cake (almost always white cake and white frosting). Everyone gathers around the birthday girl/boy in the center of the dance room. There are candles. They sing Happy Birthday (often in three languages- French, local language and English). The cake is always the final thing, after which everyone gets a small piece (sometimes only a couple bites) and all the kids go home. Lately I’ve noticed a few new imports— the birthday girl/boy will cut the cake and feed it to her closest family and someone will smear some on her face. (This is not a normal island thing, clearly they have gotten this idea from somewhere.) 

It all feels strangely Western— the clothes, the music, the bisous, the cake— this isn’t traditional island culture. Islanders see these things as Western too, so sometimes I get the feeling that they think I should be completely at home with them. But that is the funny thing, while trying to be Western, these birthday parties remain very islandy.  So really this is island culture— it’s a new wave, an attempt to absorb new cultural ideas. It’s a response to the clash of cultures that is happening on the islands all the time.

Sometimes we wish we could pick and choose what parts of western culture the islands embrace.  I guess there are worse things than birthday parties.

Tom's BD- much quieter affair

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Ma Imani’s second fundraising event went well. She hopes to travel at the end of this week. Our son is feeling all better now. The two potential specialists we’ve been communicating with (for Megan’s needed follow-up) both agree that waiting until January should be fine— it is nice to have one part of the decision made. We had a full but good weekend. We celebrated Tom’s birthday! (We didn't do it right though-- no loud music, no frosted cake-- but we did have presents and brownies). We are so thankful for him, his life, health and ministry this past year! We also went on an outing with a group of English students to the farthest corner of the island— it wasn’t great relational time, but we hope that our presence may lead to deeper relationships. We have found several houses that are good possibilities for our teammates! Pray with us as we make final decisions.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The women’s gathering has to be rescheduled— it was already moved once because of a conflict and now it needs to again because of illness. Pray that a new date would be found and that when it happens that women would come and it would be a blessed time. Pray for Ma Imani as she travels that she would get good medical counsel and for Imani as she says goodbye to her mom and little sister (who are her whole immediate family). We’re narrowing in on a house, but continue to pray for our preparations for our new teammates (planning orientation, arranging a good homestay and find language helpers)— pray also for their final couple weeks with family in the US. One island friend is in the hospital with horrible pain that has completely immobilized him— pray for healing and wisdom for those caring for him.

Our organization has changed the format for online giving. They now have a link dedicated to each worker. Here’s our link. Sorry the link wasn’t actually active when we posted last week.

Fundraising Island Style

Ma Imani with her little one

When Ma Imani told me she had a tari in a few days, I assumed that someone in her group of friends or family was getting married. Tari is a term for a certain type of music and any event with that music is called a tari. A group of women with drums will pound a beat while someone sings and women dance. There is always a money line, where those in attendance dance up and give money toward the event. Most commonly these are for weddings, but there are different kinds. She quickly told me that this was her own tari, a “tari la msaanda” (meaning a tari for help/aid). It was a fundraising tari for her daughter. Doctors have told her that her 18 month old daughter needs to travel abroad for an operation. I’m still not sure what the problem or operation is, but she was told that she’d need close to $2000 to pay for everything (travel, treatment, etc). This may not seem like that much money, but Ma Imani only works part-time at normal island wages, earning around $100 a month. I was surprised to hear that she was organizing a fundraising tari. I had only heard of large groups or neighborhoods putting them on, not individual people. But there I was on Saturday evening ready to participate.

What do you do when you find yourself in need of money that you don’t have? On the islands this often happens with medical concerns. There is no insurance. The expenses add up quickly. Local medical care is quickly exhausted and people are often told that they have to travel abroad to get the care they need. It is a big expense and islanders don’t usually put money aside for contingencies like this.

Setting up fundraising tari, where is everyone?

The solution is to go to your network of friends and family. You let people know. You go on the rounds to people’s houses, explaining and asking them to help. Everyone gives some and hopefully the whole sum is found. It is actually this practice of relying on one another in financial hard times that binds the communities together. They need each other.

The fundraising tari ended up being a bit of a disaster. Everything was late coming together, so what should have been an early evening tari didn’t get going until late that night. There weren’t many people there. Then the ladies with the drums never showed up! This is unheard of from my experience and I’ve wondered if it was an intentional slight. One of my friends called it a betrayal. Eventually they got some recorded music playing, but the power was going in and out, plunging the event into silent darkness. Ma Imani was running around but it didn’t seem like she had anyone else that could take up the reigns and make things happen. Everyone who had been waiting put their money in the decorated box, but with none of the usual fanfare about it.  It all seemed pretty discouraging to me. Perhaps Ma Imani didn’t have a strong enough network of people around her.

I saw Ma Imani again this morning. She complained about all the things that had gone wrong— placing most of the blame on the electric company and the drumming group (who were apparently apologetic). She had raised around $700. I didn’t know if this was good or a disappointment,  but she didn’t seem too upset.

Then she told me how Imani had called to her last night and said, “Mama, they said your name on the TV!” Some of her extended family (who hadn’t made it to the tari) are organizing another fundraising tari for her this coming weekend and had put ads on the local radio and TV. They hadn’t even told her. She smiled as she told me and I was warmed with the thought that people did care for her and were stepping up when she needed them.

Family Olympics: Tallest Tower Building

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The first week of local school went really well. We were excited to see how well our youngest did (as this was his first time) and even our older son came back with good reports (he’s usually down on local school). Pray it continues! We’ve already found a couple possible houses as we look for a house for our new teammates (coming next month). We are dedicating this week to intense house-hunting. Pray that the right house would be clear.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Ma Imani has her second fundraising tari this weekend and then plans to travel to the big island on Monday (there is a visiting specialist coming to the big island for a couple weeks). From there she is preparing to travel abroad with her little one. Pray that she would have all she needs. Our youngest is sick, pray that he gets better quickly. This coming weekend is supposed to be a gathering of women (the beginning of a monthly practice), pray for Megan as she is supposed to be sharing and helping to lead the time. Pray for us as we get in touch with doctors about following up with Megan’s medical concerns— we were hoping to wait until January (when we could travel as a family), but we’re getting mixed messages about whether it can wait that long. Pray for clarity.


Our organization has changed the format for online giving. They now have a link dedicated to each worker. Here’s our link.

Water, Water, Water

We just got back from vacation.  This was not an extravagant vacation, although we did have to to take a plane ride to get there (we live on an island after all).  We didn’t leave Africa.  We didn’t go to a major tourist destination.  We wanted a place where we could rest, do some medical/dental check-ups, eat some fun food, and swim.  So we used AirBnB for the first time and found a place with a pool and just relaxed.

Swam in pool everyday

We live on an island.  We are surrounded by water, and yet the thing that made this vacation feel most like a vacation may have been, of all things, water.  It just felt like there was such an abundance of water.  Everyday we swam in a clear blue pool.  After each meal, dishes were easily washed and rinsed under hot running water.  Hot showers were part of our daily routine.  One day we even went to a water park, sliding down water slides and swimming in large clean pools.  Water—so abundant, whenever we wanted it, hot or cold.  Something many people take for granted.

Our colleague recently wrote a blog about the difference between sufficiency and abundance.  She talked primarily about electricity and we’re talking about water, but it is true about many things: There is a difference between having only what you need (sufficiency) and having more than you need (abundance).  We could talk about money, internet speeds, talents, foods, choices, friends, family, etc.  In all these things there is a meaningful difference between what is sufficient and what is abundant. On vacation we reveled in having abundant water.

It seemed a bit strange (after the fact) to realize how much we appreciated the water.  After all, we have enough water on the islands. It is sufficient. Our island home has indoor plumbing.  We know other people working in Africa who have to walk a mile to a river and carry water back to their houses on their heads.  So in some ways we have it easy and yet, we don’t have an abundance of water.  We do not have water whenever we want it.  No one around here does.  Water comes and goes.  In our current house water pressure is almost nonexistent.  Most of our water comes from large barrels that we fill during the few hours when the water is on.  So most of the time the water we need comes from a barrel, not from the tap.  Not a big deal, right?  But boy after months of bucket water, it is nice to turn on a faucet and see water gushing out!  To be able to wash a dish immediately or step under a powerful shower head.  Even something as simple as flushing toilets can seem like a luxury when you don’t have the chore of using a bucket of water to flush it manually.

When we have “just enough” we can go in two directions.  We can be thankful, remembering that we are close to not having enough.  “We at least have what we need.”  Or we can complain.  “Wouldn’t it be nice to have more?”  Obviously one attitude is preferable over the other.    Abundance is wonderful, but strangely enough it leads to complacency.  Abundance is a blessing we soon forget. When we have in abundance we can be wasteful and forget what it means to not have it.  We can soon take whatever it is for granted.  After a week into our vacation, I don’t think turning on a faucet brought the same joy it did the first day, we were already getting used to it.

On playground by waterpark

Now we’re back on the islands and the water situation is bad. We’ve been home since yesterday and water hasn’t come through our taps at all. People are saying that water hasn’t been good for the past week or more. We’ll have to be careful with our water use, but we’ll get by. It will be sufficient, but sufficient is a blessing we must choose to appreciate.  It is too easy to forget and complain.  Unfortunately the taste of abundance can make sufficiency harder to appreciate, so we will have to continue to seek to be content in all circumstances. .

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are back on Clove Island. We are very thankful that we were able to make a same-day connection rather than spending a night on the big island. Our son’s follow-up at the dentist went well, he was a trooper. Megan’s follow-up was a long day at the hospital but it did provide more clarity, in a few months she will need to follow-up again. It has been a blessing to have medical professionals among our friends and family who are willing to give us good advice and counsel (even from afar). Our teammate has made it safely to the States for a conference along with other island workers involved in language projects, while others of our colleagues are at a big multinational conference in Asia. Our kids had their first full-day of school today. It went well! We heard that one of our new teammates has gotten her financial clearance!!


PRAYERS REQUESTED
It turns out the brother was only briefly imprisoned over some family disagreement.  We don’t have clear details (and may never), so continue to pray for him and his relationships with his family. Pray for us as we look into the options for Megan’s medical follow-up — we’re hoping to find a good doctor in either Kenya or South Africa who is experienced in these things. In the meantime we pray that her symptoms and discomfort would be minimal. We also pray for healing! Keep praying for our kids at school—that the whole first week will be good and that they would settle into good habits, make some good friends, and understand French! This will be a busy month. We need to get everything ready for our new teammates coming next month— that means securing and furnishing a house to rent, arranging homestay and language helpers, planning a week of orientation and praying for their transition to life on the islands. Pray that all these preparations go smoothly and for our other new teammate waiting for full clearance to come. Ma Imani’s 18 month-old daughter may need an operation (which would require traveling to another country to get it— a difficult and expensive undertaking for an islander who only speaks the local language). Pray that Ma Imani could get good medical counsel and have peace about what to do for her daughter.

Field Trip

Airport on Clove Island

How many times have you been to the airport?  How many airports have you been to?  If you’re a frequent flyer like us, it’s probably more times and more places than you could count.  So we know the essential components of all airports.  They work about the same way—sure there may be a different variety of shops and some have buses or trains or people movers, but big or small, in the US or in Africa, the basis function and essential components stay pretty much the same.

In our English classes we teach about traveling. Islanders (who travel) often go to places where French isn’t used and where knowing English is very useful. So we teach the vocabulary that is useful to know in an airport and on an airplane. The problem is that many of our students have never, ever traveled, so the vocabulary remains rather abstract. They’ve learned the words “check-in counter” and “security” but it doesn’t really mean they know what those things are.  So we draw pictures, we act things out in our classrooms, but we still don’t know if all the students really get it. So we were excited when some of our local teachers used their connections to organize a field trip to the local airport.  Field trips are not something often done here, but we loved the idea ! Why not go see the local airport?

The airport is about ten minutes away by car, and is very “quaint”.  The parking lot (which is nearly always empty) could hold about twenty cars.  There is no overnight parking.  The main terminal consists of 3 small ticket counters, a waiting area of about 15 broken chairs and a single gate.  Security includes a cursory look through your bags and walking through a non-functioning medal detector (we have never seen it turned on).  Still, you’re not allowed to pass through with your bag.  The bag must go around.  Protocols, you know.

There is only one runway and it is short.  It is bound on one side by the ocean and on the other by a large hill, so the planes that can land there are small—most are 12 seat Cessnas or other small prop planes.  There are no evening flights.  The baggage claim is a small room.  There is no luggage conveyor.  Instead they push the luggage cart up next to a door that opens into the room where they lift the bags onto a low counter.  So it’s really small. It’s quaint.

Yet, as the first group of young people gathered around me for their 5 minute tour of the airport (it really didn’t take more than 5 minutes) I saw a sense of wonder and excitement on their faces.  On a whim I asked them,  “How many had ever been inside the airport?  How many had ever traveled by plane?” Only two in a group of twenty rose their hands.  The same percentage was true for most of the groups.

The place we're staying at has a pool!

It was rather enjoyable to stand by the counter and ask the group—“What is this?”  Puzzled, a brave soul answered, “A table?”  No…Then, I saw the light switch on in the face of one who blurted out, “The Check-In Counter!”  Yes!  And then smiles appeared on faces as they repeated to themselves “check-in counter.”  Suddenly that vocabulary word they had learned and vaguely understood took on a concrete, tangible meaning.  It’s a great moment to witness—seeing the abstract become real.

Sometimes as we describe our lives on the islands we feel like we are describing something abstract for which people back home don’t have a frame of reference. If they are well traveled or have lived abroad in a developing country, it is easier for our stories to find traction.  What is really best is when someone can come and visit. Visitors to the islands have told us, “Now I can really understand and imagine what you are talking about every week!” Being there makes things real, tangible, understandable.  So let us know when you want to come to the islands for your field trip! We promise to give you more than a 5 minute tour.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We made it safely to mainland Africa for our vacation/medical trip and have been enjoying the rental apartment we’re staying in and the amenities a larger city has to offer. We have had some time to relax but are also thankful that we’ve made progress on our dental and medical appointments. We believe that Ma Imani is back home with her daughter from the hospital (that in the works as we left the islands). The language project workshop on the big island went well.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Unfortunately we’ve had more medical/dental days than we were hoping. Our older son still has some follow-up needed at the dentist and Megan still has follow-up to do with a medical concern. Pray that both of these follow-up trips that things would go well and that we can continue to get rest and family time in the midst of them. One of our teammates is leaving the islands tomorrow for a full month of traveling (for both conference and to visit various relations)— pray for safety, health and good interactions for her. Our other teammate is visiting her previous hometown on the small island. Pray for good re-connections for her. We head back to the islands on Sunday. We are hoping to travel straight to Clove Island the same day (a connection that isn’t always easy to make as airlines change their schedule with almost no notice). Pray that we can make it all the way home that day. We heard that one of our brothers on Clove island was held briefly by the military police— we’re not sure the details but pray for him and his family.

Sing a New Song

Rainbow from our roof

It was hard to hear.  There were waves crashing rhythmically on the rocks. There was a breeze off the ocean. There was a mass of boys climbing on the huge rock behind us and jumping into the water with accompanying shouts. Finally there was a small group of women, huddled on a rocky shore, singing quietly.  But this song was a new song.

We had already gone in the water. A mother and teenage daughter had gone for a special dunk, acknowledging things left behind and new things beginning.  After, all of us played in the water a bit and then we got out, prayed and had some snacks. The mother shared a bit of her story.  Finally our island friend who was leading the time said she had a surprise for us.

She brought out a page with handwritten words covering both sides of the paper. She said the words had just come to her and stayed in her head. Then she heard a traditional tune and the words fit the tune. She saw it as a blessed gift for this very occasion.   A new song!  So the teenage girl took the lead singing part and two others joined on the communal refrain.

New entertainment for our kids-- 4 baby kittens outside!

It was hard to hear. I couldn’t make out many of the words, but I didn’t really need to hear. I could see the happy smiles of those singing and the light clapping set to mimic the drumming that would usually accompany the tune. I could see another island woman leaning in eagerly to hear the words and to sing along on the refrain. I could see the little baby gone quiet and staring at the singers entranced. Even without knowing all the words, I could see that it was a song from the heart, in the local language and local music style, and one that was instantly engaging for all the islanders present—a new song!

When the song ended, the boys were still jumping, the waves were still crashing and the wind still blowing but everyone was smiling now. The women passed around the words and talked about teaching it to others.  Sing a new song…

Last week, the same women met at our house. They brought the traditional drums and the words. We practiced the song several times and then went into the back room and recorded it. With a recording it would be easier to teach it to others and ensure that they didn’t forget it themselves.

In the States it’s easy to take for granted all the new songs.  We even get impatient—not that old chorus again!  But here, a new song is still precious—still something of a miracle, and it is treasured.  Sing a new song.

Our kids back to school

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for this new song. Our kids had three partial days of school last week- meeting teachers and settling in. It went very well. Thanks for praying. Our youngest surprised us by being excited to go and our older son was less anxious than normal. Our teammate had a chance to share with a whole van-load of islanders yesterday! We pray that she will get opportunities to follow-up with some of them. We came to the big island early this morning! We look forward to connecting with some old friends here before traveling again tomorrow.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We travel tomorrow to mainland Africa— pray for safe and easy travels. We haven’t heard back from the clinics about our medical appointments— pray that getting check-ups wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. Pray for a restful vacation and good family time. There is a workshop on the big island this week for everyone working on the local language projects— consultants from abroad are here and workers from all islands are gathered. Pray for a good time of learning and encouragement for these workers and projects. One of our teammates is at this workshop and will go from there back home for a conference and some vacation. Pray for her— the next few weeks will be a bit crazy for her. Pray also for our remaining teammate who is alone on Clove Island for this week. Pray also as we continue our house-hunt for our new teammates who are coming November. We found one good options— pray we would have good discernment about whether we should take it or keep looking. Please pray for Ma Imani’s youngest (18 months). She has been in the hospital this past week with diarrhea and vomiting, which is complicated by recurring lung problems. Pray for healing and wisdom.