Be Strong and Courageous

One of the first verses that we memorized as a family was “…For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Our oldest was only 4 years old at the time and had been given the verse to take home and memorize at a Sunday morning kids gathering.

When we first memorized verse (2012)

The verse became a go-to phrase whenever we were traveling (which was often)— having our kids say it before going to bed in a new or strange place.  It was a comforting reminder that some things don’t change no matter where we are. 

But the phrase that we memorized all those years ago is not the whole verse. The whole verse is “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go!” Just recently we returned to the verse to memorize the whole thing. As we returned back to Africa this past week, its words have been sticking in our minds and has been coming from our lips each night before bed.

It’s a good thing. Because, on Friday, we said goodbye to our oldest (now 14!) at boarding school. At the moment of saying goodbye, we weren’t feel particularly strong or courageous. Our eyes were tear-filled and we didn’t want to say goodbye. We didn’t want to leave. But we knew we had to. So we gave a final hug, saw our daughter to the group that was awaiting her and walked away.

Our daughter now (2022) in new dorm room

Our family has needed these words— be strong, be courageous, do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. We’re not just in a new place, we’re embarking on a new chapter and we are feeling the weight of its new challenges.

But thankfully the end of the verse, that is so familiar after over 10 years of saying it as a family, brings us comfort. We are not being commanded to be brave and strong on our own strength. The reason that we don’t have to fear or be dismayed is because we are not alone. He is with our daughter. He is with us. It is through Him that we can let go of the fear and worry and face this new future with courage and trust.

It won’t always come easy. We’ll need reminders. So we will continue to repeat these words to ourselves. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go!”

Preparing to say goodbye

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We made it safely to the big island! All of our flights left on time and were uneventful and all our bags made it! Our boys initially had tummy bugs our first morning in Africa, but we are thankful that they quickly recovered and no one else was sick. Our daughter got her negative COVID test for entering school and the orientation went well. We got to reunite with some old friends, including four different families that we went to language school in France with 10 years ago!, who were also dropping kids off at boarding school. It was hard to say goodbye, but we are very thankful for the school and wonderful community found there.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our daughter finished her first day of high school today— pray for her to not be too overwhelmed and to make some good friends quickly. Pray for our boys who have been surprised by how sad they have been and how much they have missed their sister. On Wednesday we travel back to Clove Island— pray for a safe and uneventful flight and a smooth transition back to life there.  We have too much luggage for the interisland plane, so we will have to send some of our bags by boat on Thursday— pray they make it safely and that we don’t have any hassles sending and reclaiming them. One of our island sisters and friend is having a very difficult time with two of her teenage children. Pray for wisdom, love and grace for her as she navigates this situation and for restoration and redemption in that family. One of our island brothers’ wife got very sick and he had to travel with her off the islands to seek medical help— pray for her healing and that it would be a testimony to her. One of the workers on the big island just tested positive for COVID and is not feeling well— pray for a quick recovery and that others would not get sick. The islands are suffering under several shortages and continuing inflation— right now the islands have run out of rice (a main staple of the diet). Pray that a shipment of rice and other needed goods would come soon!

The Shift

 It happened noticeably at the beginning of last week.

Final days fun at local splash pad park

Suddenly I woke up each morning with new thoughts surging through my mind. People and situations that hadn’t been at the front of my mind for months kept popping to the surface. It was like we reached a tipping point and the islands, its people, our life, role and responsibilities over there were coming into sharp focus and the US was starting to fade.

We had finished most of our major commitments. We found that we didn’t need to listen as carefully when people were making plans. The messages in the group chats had started to not apply to us— we won’t be here anymore.

Only a couple weeks ago, we had some meetings online with people on the islands about things in the coming months and I struggled to engage and think clearly about the details. My brain was still too full of the next few weeks in the US. I hadn’t made the shift yet and I struggled to juggle both our remaining US responsibilities and schedule with everything on the islands.

Recital marking he finished the beginner book!

This shift started as an unconscious thing. But then I noticed it happening and embraced it. It is a marker that we are at a transition point (actually lots of transition points this time around). We realize that at any transition there is both the saying goodbye, letting go, potentially grieving or celebrating what we are leaving, as well preparing, welcoming and embracing what is to come. Our life has included lots of these transitions, but that doesn’t mean we always do them well. But we do know that there has to be a shift of focus at some point, if we refuse to let go of the former or don’t prepare for the other, then there will be trouble. If we try to hold everything in our mind all at once, then we end up overwhelmed.  We cannot do both.  We need to make the shift.

This shift is a reminder of our limitations. We are so finite. We can’t process everything all at once. Ultimately it leaves us in awe of the One who is able to juggle not only our whole lives, but all people, through all time. Wow! So glad, He’s the one in charge. 

19 years of marriage!

PRAYERS ANSWERED


Our final week in America has gone very well.  We’e been able to have some meaningful times with friends and family, get through our to-do list, and not gotten too stressed about the packing process—thanks for all your prayers!  On the islands, our teammates who were sick are feeling much better.  The island family that was experiencing dark spiritual things has seen an improvement in the situation, but they are still fearful- let’s keep praying for them. 
This week we celebrated our  anniversary-- we are thankful for our 19 years together!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
A new app is available to islanders, giving them access to more of the Word— pray for many to download, listen and read. The translation project had to stop some checking meetings because of health concerns for one participant— pray for healing and for the logistics to come together to reschedule. We travel today—leaving in just a few hours.  Pray that our flights go on time and without cancellation, for bags to go through, for good health and no Covid, and for peace and trust in our spirits throughout.  As always, pray for Megan’s back to be strong and healthy throughout the traveling process.  We will say goodbye to our daughter and drop her off at school on Friday.  Please lift up this big transition for all of us.  Then we will travel on to the islands on Sunday, so please remember us throughout the week as we slowly make our way home to Clove Island.

What's Good News?

A friend of ours here in America shared a story with us this past week.  He was talking to a small group of Americans who would claim the good news is life-changing and central to what they believe.  So our friend challenged them with the question:

Our youngest turned 10!

How is ‘the good news’ good news for you today?  It seems like a simple question, and yet, the group struggled to answer.  

The truth is that for many of us the good news can become old news.  Somewhere along the line, it stops feeling important or powerful.  It becomes life as usual. It becomes status quo.  It stops feeling both good or new.  

And let’s face it, a lot of good news is like that.  After the initial euphoria wears off, after the celebration, life goes on.  There’s always the next thing. “Congratulations, you passed the exam!  There will be another one in 6 months.”  “You won the Super Bowl!  But who will win next year?”  Good news becomes old news and old news is unfulfilling.

Whale watching on family reunion

But some good news has on-going effects.  For example, the good news may start with making a good friend.  Then a good friend, becomes a good spouse, becomes a good parent, becomes a good grand-parent, becomes a 50 year wedding anniversary, becomes a life full of meaning and faithfulness.  (We just had a celebration this week celebrating Tom’s parents’ 50+ years of marriage.) Or, the good news of a friend joining an alcohol recovery program leads to a new lease on life, leads to a healed family, leads to reconciliation with co-workers, leads to lives and relationships redeemed, leads to other lives impacted and saved from alcohol abuse.  Some good news keeps on giving.

We know that the good news that we hold as being so central has that ongoing power. But do we have eyes to see it?

One of the benefits in living on the islands is contrast.  In a place where hope, redemption and peace are little known, the good news stands out in sharp contrast.  It keeps on giving.  Like the recent story of a colleague who told us about an island brother who had to make a big decision.  So he prayed about it and got an answer.  Quoting our colleague:  “He laughed aloud as he exclaimed ‘[before] I didn’t know that I could talk to God and he would answer me!’, there was a beautiful level of awe and wonder in his voice and face.”

This brother is daily discovering the on-going effects of the good news. But what about us?  Our friends’ question is ringing in our ears.  How is it good news today? As we head into a season of transition, we feel some of the weight of added expectations as we change roles. We feel the heaviness of saying goodbye to our daughter and wondering what parenting looks like from here on out. But the good news tells us that it isn’t about us. The weight is not on our shoulders. We can cast all our cares on One who has both the power, control and wisdom that we lack and who promises to go with us. That is good news!

Our wonderful kids

If we start to lack some of that awe and wonder,  please remind us—the good news is ongoing and continuing. It is good and new everyday!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for some encouraging stories from the islands— including islanders sharing boldly and islanders having meaningful dreams. A while ago we asked for prayer for an island sister that was upset and needed to confront others about something— she finally did it. It sounds like it was difficult—now pray for some honest discussion and for any needed repentance and reconciliation that needs to happen. We are thankful for a nice family reunion celebrating Tom’s parents’ 50 years together.  Our daughter has fully recovered from her fall and Megan’s back is feeling much less touchy.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Clove Island is having another surge of COVID cases (including two of our colleagues), but it doesn’t sound like most islanders are taking many precautions. Pray for quick recoveries and for cases to remain mild. One of our teammates is heading back to Africa after time at home— pray for safe travels and a smooth transition. Pray for an island family on the small island that is experiencing some bizarre and dark things that has them very scared— it has led to the opportunity for our colleague to share and study with them— pray for the light to shine brightly, for the dark things to stop and for the family to be forever changed. We are in our final week in the US— pray that we’d get through the long to-do list posted on our wall. Pray also as we are starting to feel the weight of our impending separation from our daughter as she will be at boarding school— pray for sweet times together. We’ve been able to talk to two sets of friends that are looking to start teams of overseas workers- pray for them as they enter into leadership and recruiting teammates.

Room to Be Different

We were at a thrift store, looking for clothes for our daughter. She needed to supplement her wardrobe for school in the fall. I collected some options and she whittled things down to what she liked. A few times she chose things that were similar to clothes I wear, but other times I was caught off guard as she chose colors, patterns and styles that I would never choose for myself.

Enjoying music and book on town green

I was actually happy about that. As much as our daughter might look like me (a frequent comment on our travels), I don’t actually want her to be just like me. Part of her growing up and maturing will be finding out who she is apart from us. If she attempted to always be like us it would stunt her growth and potential.

Years ago, I was teaching some kids and wanting them to make cards for their parents, so I did a sample one, expecting the kids to look at my sample drawing and then make their own creative drawings. But instead, the kids tirelessly worked to recreate my exact drawing, even though I told them to make theirs different.  It was a fail. For most, my example was too hard to copy, but too good for them to imagine doing anything else.  Instead of setting the kids free to be themselves and make something different, I had given them an insurmountable goal and stifled creativity.

Fun with friends

Sometimes I’ve worried about that being a team leader. Our first team leaders were amazingly gifted in ways that we aren’t and I remember having to remind myself to try not to compare myself to them too much. It was a delicate balance of not rejecting their example while not being bound by it either. We see people with different gifts and backgrounds join our team and we know that they will naturally look up to us as their team leaders, but at the same time, we don’t want a team full of Tom & Megan’s. We have to be conscious that our words and praise affirm different ways of living and reaching out on the islands, lest our example speak too loudly and seem like the only way. (This is also where having veteran teammates who provide more diverse models is so great!)

As an organization, we are wanting, looking to be more diverse. We want teammates from different countries and cultures— knowing that with that diversity we will gain new perspectives and outlooks. Our teams will become deeper and richer. At the same time we realize that lots of our models and structures are designed from western mindsets and cater to western ideals. Won’t these models just stifle nonWesterners or set them up to be uncomfortable or to feel like they are failing?

An experienced cook immediately knows how to take a recipe and make it their own. They can improvise, using what they have.  They know what works and what doesn’t.  On the other hand, an inexperienced cook must look at the recipe closely. They aren’t sure if substituting different things will work. They don’t know which instructions and ingredients will make the difference between a successful or failed dish.

We have a cookbook that is a standout as it doesn’t assume you have access to the same ingredients as the authors. There are no pictures for you to compare your finished dish with the beautiful ‘right one’. Instead at every step it lists a bunch of different possibilities and variations depending on what you have and what method of cooking is available to you. The writers obviously had a diverse background and were thoughtful and intentional to make their cookbook helpful for lots of people in different contexts.

As we look ahead with our kids, our teams, the islands— we are looking for more role models. One model, one way usually isn’t enough. We pray that different godly men and women will enter our kids’ lives to inspire them and open up different paths and possibilities for them. We pray for more teammates from different cultures and backgrounds! May we all flourish into the unique people and communities God has made each of us to be!

Bike injury

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We have continued to be blessed by the chances to reconnect with friends and groups after many years. We have thankful that God has seen us through all the travels and logistics. We are thankful that this coming week our youngest son will turn 10 and we will be able to see extended family members that we haven’t seen in years! We are thankful that our daughter wasn't more hurt after a bad fall off a bike (swollen face and black eye, but nothing broken).

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We continue to hear from teammates and islanders about high prices and shortages on goods— most recently it was struggles to find gas canisters for stoves. Pray for them as they. Pray with us on the islands that we would have teams prepared to receive and welcome more workers from different countries and for the workers and sending groups. Pray for Megan’s back— after weeks with lots of travel and meetings, it is becoming more sensitive and quick to ache— pray for strengthening and no injury. Pray that our teammates would be sustained through more events (even with loud speakers set up right in front of their house)— pray for their rest and endurance. Pray for the translation project and checking this week.

The Pull and Pendulum Swings of Legalism

This past week I was invited to speak to a group about the freedom we have been granted and the pull of legalism that threatens to enslave us again. 

Exploring Maine coast

Now it is easy for Americans to ask, having been given freedom, why would we ever be tempted to enslave ourselves? In the US, we are raised to see the concept of freedom as very positive— all Americans want and value freedom.  But the reaction on the islands is very different and it has sometimes surprised us. Islanders sometimes react like freedom is scary. Especially in the realm of what you believe, they can see freedom as a very negative thing. They see freedom as leading to disunity and strife. Also since freedom is not what they associate with God, they are much more comfortable with the language of slavery than the language of freedom when talking about their relationship with Him. So surprising as it is to us, they aren’t necessarily attracted or satisfied with the idea of freedom.

I remember one of the first serious conversations I had in Africa, I was asked how people like me wash? The woman was expecting me to give a list of instructions for which body part is washed first and what words needed to be spoken. She also asked how we pray—likewise expecting a clear explanation of how many times we bowed, at what time of day, pointed in which direction, and speaking which texts. I happily declared that I could wash and pray any way I wanted, but from her puzzled expression I could tell that she was dissatisfied with my answer.  To her, the freedom I spoke of sounded insubstantial and unsatisfying.

Much colder ocean than the islands!

Her dissatisfaction with freedom is because legalism can actually be quite gratifying. It can offer the same sort of fulfillment one might get from checking off a to-do list or the comfort one feels from firm guidance and direction. Legalism gives people answers. Someone asks, “What should I wear?” Legalism says, “Wear this!” “How should I pray?” “Pray these words! In this posture! At this time!” It is not open-ended or unclear.  It is straight-forward.

Legalism also can provide clear identity and an easy way towards belonging to a group, not to mention clear ways to gain status and honor in that group. These things are really important to islanders. But not just islanders, almost everyone wants to feel like they belong to a group and feel like they have an honored role in that group. And if all it takes is dressing a certain way or doing certain things to achieve that— well, then legalism sounds kind of comforting.

But ultimately, many people also feel the burden of legalism. They resent the rules and restrictions.
We can see throughout history how legalism—a strict set of rules—often turns people off. One generation’s rules leads to a rebellious response in the next generation. The new generation wants to distance themselves completely from anything looking like the previous generation— declaring themselves free from their parents’ or grandparents’ legalism. But in their reaction, they can end up creating a new kind of legalistic set of rules for belonging.

As western women on the islands, we have had lively discussions about whether or not we should cover our heads on the islands. Some said yes— because we want to be seen as modest and respectful members of island community. Others said no— because we need to show our freedom, that we aren’t supporting or showing ourselves to be attached to the legalism that burdens many islanders. Our team initially leaned mostly towards not covering our heads, preferring to show our modesty and respect in other ways. But we began to worry that we could be supporting a new form of legalism—telling islanders that to be free meant you can’t cover your head!

To cover the head or not?

We don’t want to support a mere pendulum swing from one form of legalism to another! We may not be intentionally communicating legalism, but our actions even if made for good reasons, can easily pull those that come after us towards legalism. They remember the actions, know they were made for good reasons, but forget what those reasons were. All they remember is: to belong, you do this! Legalism is born and we are free no more.

Freedom means finding our identity, our sense of belonging, our guidance and direction in a living God, who meets us where we are at, accepts us as we are, and transforms our lives. It doesn’t look the same for each culture or each generation or even each person, and that is a beautiful and miraculous thing!

PRAYERS ANSWERED


It’s been great to check-in with teammates and colleagues on the islands.  We are mostly encouraged by the news, but there are always things to be praying for.  We’ve continued to have meaningful times with friends and new contacts on the North Shore and in Maine.  We are so thankful for these opportunities, even when the time is limited.  We are thankful for the encouraging words we’ve received and the thoughtful conversations that we have been challenged by.


PRAYERS REQUESTED
Please do lift up the islands.  People continue to struggle financially and as prices have gone crazy and most people live paycheck to paycheck, it can be a struggle to put food on the table.  The wedding season has continued to put a strain on finances, but also makes regular gatherings and times of study more difficult. Please lift up the fellowship of brothers and sisters, that they would be growing in unity and trust, able to say the hard things to each other and allow iron to sharpen iron.  Pray for our dwindling days here in the US—only 3 weeks left and still so much we want to do and people we want to see.  May we find the balance between rest, relationships and routines.