Losing Culture

They look like island kids. They play in the courtyard with all their cousins. They laugh and push. Their mother is there with their aunts and grandmother chattering away in the island language. She leaves for weddings and events in her traditional island finery like other mothers. But these kids are still different.

Saying goodbyes, heading back for France today

First you might notice that all of their clothes are a slightly higher quality and you’ve never seen those brand of shoes on the island before. But the most obvious clue is language. They are always speaking French! They stumble over the traditional island greetings and look to their mom or aunt when islanders address them, silently asking with their confused expressions for the French translation of whatever was just said to them.

They are our landlady’s two sons have been living downstairs for the past month. I’ve sat down with them while their aunts tell their cousins to speak to them in the local language. Even I have taken my turn in quizzing them, trying to expand their vocabulary and their ability to say the culturally appropriate things. But they are young boys and would rather rattle away in French. Their mom has been making an effort to do a bunch of ceremonies and events for them that would have been spread out over their childhood. There were some special prayers done that should have been connected to their birth and another one for their circumcision. You got the feeling that she was trying to maintain her status of “good island mother” by checking off all boxes of undone things. But she was born and raised here, so even if she has spent most of her adult years in France she knows how to navigate the culture and its expectations. But her sons…??

They are islanders by heritage but raised in France. Kids like them may have island passports, but many parents don’t bother since French nationality is more useful. Depending on their parents, they may speak some of the island language. They may have been exposed to island culture and customs to some extent. Some of these French islanders make a point of coming back to the islands every year or two, but a lot can’t afford that, so their children may only experience the islands a couple times growing up.

Tom was recently at a wedding where the groom was a young man who lives in France. When it was time for the groom to give his speech, he apologized but said he couldn’t give it in the local language and proceeded to give it in French instead. Afterwards his father felt the need to reassure the audience that his son “was not lost”, even though he couldn’t speak the island language well.

French-raised groom makes his entrance

But there is that feeling that they are being lost… that the islands have lost their claim on them. So much of culture is wrapped into language. These islanders raised abroad are losing touch not only with language, but with what it means to be an islander. They not only can’t share the experience of living and struggling on the islands, but they can’t even talk to their grandparents in a meaningful way.

Most islanders would love to go abroad. They want their children to study in France, find jobs there and eventually get French nationality. It means opportunity and can raise the fortunes of the whole family. But islanders don’t want to lose their children and grandchildren to lose their island identity. There is always a feeling of judgment and disappointment when they talk about island children raised in France who don’t speak the language and/or haven’t visited often.  

Growing up in America, we can relate, in part, to these kids.  Our heritage is not native to American soil.  It was our great-grandparents, or farther back who came to America, speaking a different language, with a different culture and different values.  But after a few generations, most of that has been lost.  Both Tom & I have little connection to the other countries our predecessors came from.  It is part of our heritage, but a small part of our identity.  What did previous generations give up in becoming Americans?  What did we lose in the process? 

Married 18 years!

In a couple days, our landlady’s sons will be back on French soil. They will probably always remember this summer vacation that they spent on the islands. It will be part of their heritage, but will it be part of their identity?  Will they think of themselves as Islanders or French?  What will be gained and what will be lost?  And who is to judge what is best?

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We were able to have a video chat with the family preparing to come to the islands. It is encouraging to see God provide for their needs! Today is our 18th wedding anniversary! We thank God for the years that He has given us and all the rich blessings they have included. Friends from the big island have been visiting— it has been nice to reconnect with them and for our kids to play together. Tom’s weekly studies with two men have been going well, strengthened by their meeting weekly with one of our teammates.  One of their wives has started connecting with that same teammate. Our sons are almost done with their end-of-the-year exams at the local school. We’re honestly not sure if our youngest will pass (his French is improving but still not really there yet), but we are thankful that they haven’t seemed too stressed about it. 


PRAYERS REQUESTED
We just got word this morning that Megan’s uncle in CA died. This was unexpected news. Please be praying for Megan and her family, especially Megan’s cousins and for her aunt with Alzheimers for whom her uncle had been the primary care-giver. He was a good man and will be missed. Our two medical teammates have begun their hospital internships— continue to pray for the energy levels and for good interactions with the other medical staff as well as patients. There is a woman from the US considering joining the work on the islands. She hopes to make a decision by the end of the month— pray for clear guidance for her. Tom was able to join a group of island brothers to pray for an island woman who has had significant difficulties— pray that their prayers would have a profound impact on her and her family.  This coming week is a busy one for many of our teammates as they help with multi-day weddings of close friends. Pray that the time spent would help deepen relationships and that they would have opportunities to spread love and light to these island families.