Listening and Not Listening

 As we sat reading together, which now adds up to over the hundredth time,  I asked the first of the same 7 questions we always discuss after we read, “What do you like in today’s story?” 

Tom at the opening of a new English Center

Muki answered as he often does, “It’s all wonderful!  Great stuff!  I like it all. It’s great for learning wisdom.”  Which is true, but kind of misses the point of the questions.  In fact, generally Muki misses the point of the questions all together and just wants to talk about whatever strikes him.  So I decided to try once again:

“We ask the questions because we want to understand the story deeply.  We don’t want to read it and then go away and forget.  We want this story to enter our heart and change our life.  So we need to read it carefully in order to find the wisdom inside.  But we go slowly.  The first question, ‘What do you like in this story?’  is an easy one, but it helps us to enter in.  And then we keep going and keep going until we find the wisdom and truth of the passage.”

Even though I had told them these things more than once before, this time it was the proverbial lightbulb turning on.  You could see the understanding appear on their faces, the glint in the eye, the raising of the eyebrows.  It all suddenly made sense.

Homeschool botany lessons

“That’s why you’re always asking us about today’s story,” said Mtsa with some excitement.  “We’re trying to find the wisdom that today’s story is telling us.  So we shouldn’t just talk about any story, or politics or something.  We really want to learn today’s story.”

“Amen,” I replied with a genuine, if slightly exasperated, smile.  It goes slowly.  It is taking a while, but these guys are listening.

On the other hand there is my friend, Fakhadi.  He is bright, well-educated, and well-read for an islander— quite a contrast to Muki and Mtsa.  But all he wants to do is argue.  He does not want to listen. He says he does, but truly he doesn’t.  A few weeks ago, Fakhadi wrote to me with a proposition.  “You pray your way and I’ll pray mine and we’ll see who gets an answer.”  Could this be an opening in Fakhadi’s heart? We prayed for each other to have a dream.  Yet neither of us had a dream.  I’ll admit I was disappointed.  Isn’t this the classic sort of power encounter we read about?  Isn’t this the time for the truth to be known?  But nothing…no dream…nothing…

Our youngest makes breakfast

A few days later, Fakhadi tried to engage me in a debate via Whatsapp.  In his reply, he wrote that he would never agree with me—that he would hope to die before ever agreeing with me about these things.  And it occurred to me, “Perhaps that is why there was no dream.  Even if there was a dream, he would reject it.” So I told him, I didn’t want to argue with him, that it was not fruitful.  I think that upset him, but I truly believe our continual debating is just a waste of time.

Some listen and are slow to understand.  Some are quick to understand but refuse to listen.  For my part, I’ll take the former.  Moreover, I’d rather be the former too— to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Thank you so much for praying for our daughter. The flare-up of her rheumatoid arthritis has passed and she is feeling much better. She even felt good about how her AP test went. The women’s gathering went well— it was a good-sized group and good discussion. We are thankful for normal weeks here, visiting neighbors, studying with men and women, teaching English classes, doing homeschool and being home for a time.  Megan had a good conversation with Hashiri and was able to give her resources for studying together in the future-- may it lead to good listening and learning.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for us as we navigate who to spend our time with, to have that wisdom and discernment about where to go and whom to see and whom to invest in.  Soon enough we will be traveling again, this time for passport renewals (it can’t be helped) so this week will mean we are again letting people know we will be away for a time.  Our island friends are used to it, but I don’t know that they like it any more than we do.  Pray that we can make the most of the time before we travel again.  Pray for our daughters’ health.  One of the sisters here prayed in a powerful way for her healing.  May it be so!