DYI Islands vs DYI with Dad

Father and son working on a project

Part of being back in the States under stay-at-home orders is the opportunity to help Dad out around the house with odd jobs.  This week we’ve been constructing a lean-to type shelter for the air conditioning unit.  Neither Dad nor I is a home improvement guru.  We mostly try to get an idea of what we want, watch a youtube video, and strike out.  In this way, it reminds me a lot of my home improvement techniques on the islands.  In fact, sometimes, I think Dad would get along pretty well in island DIY circles.  Just for fun, I’ve come up with some principles that I think Dad and island culture share in terms of approach to home improvement.

First off: work with what you got.  Why go to a hardware store when there is something around the house that might work?  Now islanders are sometimes forced into working with what they have because the islands doesn’t have what they need or they don’t have the money for the supplies even if they are available, but I have been astounded at the way Islanders will pull out an old flip-flop, a flimsy plastic bag, broken pieces of pipe or wood, even ash from a fire, to make workable fixes to many a house project.  Dad’s garage lends itself to that.  It’s the kind of garage that has all sorts of wood, tools, screws and nails about.  If you look long enough and if you aren’t too worried about exact symmetry, it’s amazing what you can find.  There is a side principle that goes along with this one: keep the scraps.  You never know when those two extra screws or short piece of wood might come in handy!

Another principle: the right tool might make all the difference, but you can usually find a way with the tools you’ve got.  Island ingenuity often comes into play here.  Who needs a hammer if a rock is close at hand?  A table saw would work well, for cutting this piece of wood, but all I’ve got is a hack saw, so let’s get hacking!  Now, Dad’s tools are by far more prolific than most islanders I know. (He has multiple hammers and a table saw.) But there’s many a time when we make do with what we’ve got.  We find a way to make it work, and that is very much an island thing to do.

This leads to a third very similar principle: Slow and steady.  Dad, like Islanders, takes his time.   There really isn’t a rush with these things.  Work with what you’ve got.  Think it through.  Take your time.  Islanders are rarely in a rush.  The job will get done when it gets done.    Dad has that attitude too.  Although this might actually reveal a subtle difference.  Dad is deliberately slow in order to be thoughtful and avoid making mistakes.  Islanders just tend to take their time with things even if they aren’t being particularly careful.

Finally, you always tend to end up at the same hardware store.  For Dad, when in doubt, he goes to Home Depot (sorry Lowe’s fans).  For islanders in our town it works out the same way.  There may be a dozen hardware stores in town (I’ve been to most of them), but there’s only one that really carries the things you need.  Talk to anyone doing home improvement in our town and it is given that they will be stopping by Djamal’s shop.  The other hardware shops will tell you to go there too! He’s the only one who seems to have the supply. There’s security in the familiar supplier.

Kids looking through wood scraps

As I’ve navigated two cultures, similarities and differences pop out at me, like this week working with Dad. Overall, I’ve grown to appreciate and better understand island ways of doing things through it…. but I’m not sure everyone would see it that way. The other night we were watching “This Old House”.  For a moment I imagined those guys walking around an island construction site.  That would be some culture shock!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The biggest holiday of the island year was on Memorial Day and it sounds like the orders to stay at home were mostly followed. Our teammates reported a very quiet day and we had several calls with islanders for the holiday— we posted a short video with holiday greetings to our island Facebook account and it already has over 37,000 views! Our colleague on the big island has been encouraged by the fact that translation work via telephone has gone well— a pleasant surprise. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for our teammates and colleagues on the islands as they navigate trying to reach out to islanders at this time. One of our colleagues on the small island prayed for a man who has problems with his eyesight and has also been able to share truth with him— pray for this man’s  healing and the opening of his heart. There are plans to try to mediate reconciliation between the two parties at the heart of the argument that played out on social media (see last week’s blog) as it has revealed some deeper, long-standing issues between them. Ma Imani’s daughter has been having recurring nosebleeds that have been causing concern—while this thankfully does not sound like COVID, please pray for her health.

Social Media Fight

Tom & boys "camp" in backyard

Sometimes our life on the islands seems so different than life in America.  Differences in culture, values, history and technological advancement mean that some of the things people think about, argue about, struggle with are just different.  For example, childhood obesity is not an issue in the islands.  Kids simply don’t have the same access to things like fast food, high fat foods, sugary drinks, or unlimited sedentary activities like online gaming.  Another example would be gender issues, because of values and culture, gender issues are not a big topic of discussion on the islands.  Alternatively, Americans don’t give much thought to colonialism or issues surrounding polygamy, while these are always hot topics on the islands. 

But every so often we see similar situations pop up in both cultures, revealing the singular nature of humanity.  And it happened this week on an island group chat.

We have been much encouraged to see our island brothers and sisters getting creative during this COVID season and finding ways to use technology and social media to encourage and strengthen one another.  One of those ways was through a messaging group, allowing everyone to share prayers, verses, songs, pictures, videos and concerns.  They called the group, “Peace” and it has been wonderful to see the island family using this tool to encourage one another.  But this week a common problem of modern America overtook the Peace Chat- text fighting.

It all started with a well intentioned post with a link to a site that was meant to encourage. The problem is that it included some theological views that are not shared by everyone.  As soon as I saw the text, I wondered what the reaction would be.  Not long after, one brother sent a message. It was carefully worded, encouraging people to be careful and read everything in light of scripture.  I thought that might be the end of it and breathed a sigh of relief.  But then, the next day, another brother weighed in. This time with the sort of blunt and provocative sort of response we have all grown too used to on the internet.  He was picking a fight.  Sure enough, I checked my messages an hour later to see 50 new messages!  The Peace Chat had been taken over by a text fight.

Different thoughts went through my mind.  Should I get involved?  Should I contact the instigator or the administrator of the group?  In the end, I decided that in this case (being so far from the islands), the best action I could take was to pray; asking God to help the leaders to make wise decisions and to bring peace back to the Peace Chat.

Exploring local trails

So I watched. I saw one brother, through his posts, try to diffuse the argument.  Later the group administrator posted a gentle reminder to the group about what the purpose of the Peace Chat was for and asking to return to that purpose.  Finally, we got a personal phone message from her asking for prayer and explaining how she had worked behind the scenes to speak directly to the instigator of the fight and bring about some reconciliation.  Praise God! I don’t think anyone could have handled it better. 

So picking fights on social media is an island issue too!  I think it reveals something of our universal human nature.  No matter what culture we come from, it is always easier to say harsh, mean, provocative things when we don’t have to look into the face of the one who we are addressing.  Somehow that anonymity gives us license or boldness or a false sense of righteousness that we just don’t feel when face to face.  And let he who has never sent a text or posted a message that he regretted throw the first stone.  But thank God that we do not have to accept our darker nature, but with the help of a loving community and the Holy Spirit, we can find a better way, find reconciliation and encourage peace.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful that it seems like the “Peace Chat” has moved on to more encouraging and unifying topics. Our colleagues on the small island are feeling much better and seem to be on the road to recovery now- thank you for praying! We have bought tickets to go to CA on June 6th. We’re excited to have a plan to spend time with Megan’s family (even if it ends up that they are the only people we see while we’re in CA).

PRAYERS REQUESTED
There is only one week left of the month of fasting on the islands. The month culminates in the biggest holiday of the year where islanders usually go around to greet as many people as possible and shake everyone’s hands. We are hoping that islanders will pass on this island tradition, but we’re not sure what they will do instead. Give the islands wisdom as they try to celebrate while hopefully preventing the unnecessary spread of COVID. We just had word today that our good friend Ma Imani’s daughter is sick with a fever, we don’t know if she has other COVID symptoms, but please pray for her healing and for the extended family as they are all in close contact on the big island.

It's Normal

Normal Visitors in Chad

When we went and lived in Chad in 2007, we had no running water and only enough electricity to charge our phones and laptop. When the sun went down, we went to bed. When the sun rose, we got up. We didn’t have a refrigerator, so a good chunk of each day was focused on getting and preparing the food that we would eat that day. Most of the people around us only knew their town and knew little of the greater world.

When we shared with people back home about our life in America, we were sometimes met with disbelief. People couldn’t imagine living like that, but whether or not our Chadian neighbors longed for a different life, in reality, most of them didn’t know any different. Maybe they longed to be a rich person in their town, but they didn’t know enough to long for life in a different place.  To people back in America, our life in Africa sounded like one grand adventure.  And early on it did feel like that, but soon enough, it became normal.  Even though it was not a life we had ever lived before going to Africa, our normal had shifted, but our new life was now normal. Just normal, daily life.

If something is normal then it’s not an object of fuss. It’s not worth wowing over or commenting on. It’s just normal. You only get upset with normal if you think you could be having it better. If you only have one frame of reference, then you don’t know or can’t imagine a better situation, and so normal stays good enough.  Islanders aren’t as isolated as Chadians. Islanders travel and those who have been exposed to different countries are often not very content with the “island normal”. They complain and compare the islands to the places they have been. They have tasted something different.  Their idea of normal changed.

Normal Visitors on the islands

 On the islands, life is not as extreme as Chad, but still our American friends and family sometimes utter their disbelief when we talk about regular water and electricity cuts, the tropical diseases or the supply shortages that happen on the islands. But those things are all pretty normal for us.  And as strange and exotic as international travel and touring around might be for some, for us, this is also normal.  But then COVID came and life became strange everywhere.  On a global scale, we saw normal disappear.  Let’s face it, life in the States right now is not normal— social distancing, no school for kids, masks and stay-at-home orders.  Tom and I can’t help but long for normal US life (pre-COVID)—the life that we’re used to enjoying when we come to visit. We content ourselves with less on the islands because that’s normal there, but we expect the US to be a reprieve from many of those daily hardships: restaurants, malls, and millions of leisure opportunities like hiking, movies, sports, and amusement parks; also family reunions, big church gatherings, worship services and youth groups.  We see these things as normal for our times in the States, and it’s been hard for us to adjust.

On the other hand, some people have asked us if our kids are similarly disappointed with our time in America, being forced to stay at their grandparents’ house and not see people. But our kids are more like those isolated villagers in Chad than we are, they don’t really know or remember anything different. We stepped foot on US soil in March and went straight into quarantine and its been years since we’ve done more than briefly visit, so our kids don’t really no anything better than this pandemic normal for the US.  It’s probably for the best. We know that they will firmly embrace a new freer normal once it is available to us, but for now they are content with the present normal.

New Normal- Bday visitor seated far away with mask

Tom and I have some experience adjusting to new normals.  Our kids do too.  And we know that finding new normals can be painful.  So here we are, the whole world, people around the globe, all in the same boat, all experiencing the pain of adjustment, all finding new routines. All taking our circumstances and trying to make it livable.  All choosing to struggle with or embrace new normals.  But remember…

Hang in there!  You will adjust! And eventually, what feels so strange and uncomfortable will just be, well, normal. I’ve heard many remark that they are discovering new normals. Families have found new routines and new ways of getting by.  Churches and businesses are finding ways to move forward.  It hasn’t been easy but since it is a shared experience around the globe, we can’t really complain. Everyone’s in the same boat. It’s a new normal everywhere.

Our birthday girl- making pie

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful that our kids are doing well during these strange times. We are thankful for our daughter who turned 12 this past week and for the wonderful young lady she’s turning into. We had a good time celebrating with her and she had a fun time despite our restrictions. One island brother was feeling sick, requested prayer and got better. We are thankful for encouraging stories of healing.  


PRAYERS REQUESTED
Now three of our colleagues on the small island are sick with COVID-like symptoms, one of who is pregnant. Please pray for their quick recoveries. The stories of death and ill-equipped medical personnel continue to come from the islands. Continue to pray. On the French Island (the first in archipelago to be hit with the virus), our doctor friend reported this week that they are getting 100 new cases a day (where it was only 10 per day the week before). Pray for the overworked medical workers and their families. The French Island has much better testing and treatment capabilities so we imagine that what we see happening there will happen on the rest of the islands in the coming weeks. Please pray. We’re starting to think again about our plans for the coming months, pray that we would have good discernment of what to do when. Continue to pray for the islands during this month of fasting, when islanders tend to look to God more, may they truly seek and find.

Parting with Stuff

Back on the islands- bags lined up to give away

It was the final week before we were leaving for America—when COVID19 was still just a problem of a province in China and not something effecting the world— and we were packing the house up for our planned six months away.  Packing is always an opportunity for purging and so we found ourselves, giving, throwing, and lending many things away as our travel day approached.  Questions of what was essential and what was not were daily tasks.  What is worth keeping?  What do we not mind seeing others use?  What do we not mind lending to someone, knowing that the item might not come back to us in the same shape or even at all?  What was an investment (and so worth holding onto)?  What would give us a chance to be generous?

Then there were our neighbors…not all of them, but certain ones…who know that this is a time to ask for stuff. They can feel pretty shameless to our Western sensibilities, but the questions started coming. Can I have this?  Would you give me that?  Could I borrow that for the time you are away?  The regular barrage of questions puts a strain on patience and makes us feel both generous and stingy at the same time.  There are things we want to give away, and do so willingly, but there are things we don’t want to give away, but it doesn’t stop neighbors from asking. 

Tom sorting thru garage in US

Case in point was the blender.  We’ve lived many years without a blender on the islands, but when Megan’s birthday rolled around, we decided this would be the year.  So the blender was new, in good condition, and a birthday present.  So of course, our neighbor wants to borrow it.  In that moment, it was simply too hard to be generous with it.  We know our neighbor and her household well.  We’ve given her gifts before only to see them broken and discarded in record time. We knew lending our nice new blender would be saying goodbye to it—that it would either not come back or it would come back broken—and so in a very island way we said no, which is to say that we didn’t give a direct “no” (since that is rude) but to gave an excuse that could be accepted as a gracious refusal. So we told her that while we were gone our landlady would be using our kitchen including many of our kitchen things (which is true, but didn’t include the blender).  Not our most generous moment, but imagine it may be understandable to some of you.

Fast forward to this week—sheltering in place, travel plans cancelled, looking for projects. How about we clean out all those boxes we stored in my parent’s garage before we traveled to Africa?  And so we pulled down boxes that have been on shelves for 13 years.  Inside we found memories—definitely worth keeping—but other things too.  Books, good books, useful to no one sitting in boxes.  Notebooks, filled with notes from college and seminary classes—why did we hold onto these?  Would we ever read them again?  Cassette tapes which have no cassette player to play them on. 

Why had we kept these things?  At the time it was just too hard to part with them.  At the time they seemed valuable—representing, money or time or effort.  But ten years later they represent wasted resources (books that have gone unread/unused) or wasted space (things to be thrown away or recycled).

Kids enjoying the spring flowers

Africa has certainly taught us to be more generous with our stuff.  We do not hold onto things as tightly as we used to, but at the same time, we still struggle with those attachments.  What is it that makes it so hard to let go of our stuff?  Is it wrong?  Is any of it our stuff anyway?  Hasn’t everything we have been given to us?  On the other hand, aren’t we meant to be good stewards and take good care of the things that have been given to us?  Lord, help us.  These are not easy questions to answer.

I can remember, when we first left for Africa, lending to loved ones all sorts of items—furniture, games, books, clothes—with a caveat that we might want them back some day—especially if the whole Africa thing didn’t work out.  Looking back, it seems like adding that caveat was a foolish thing to do.  Why didn’t we just give it all away? Somehow in the moment the stuff felt too precious. (By the way, if you have something that we lent you 12 years ago—we don’t want it back.  It’s yours.) 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The island government has finally officially recognized the presence of COVID on the islands. So far they have recognized 4 cases and 1 death.  The reality is probably far more. We are very thankful that it is now being talked about openly and that more measures are being taken. The island brothers and sisters continue to use the WhatsApp group to encourage each other and share prayer requests and we’re encouraged that more of the sharing is happening in the local language now (which makes it more accessible for most). We have been having a good time connecting with people online, including getting to participate in a few services this weekend. We are thankful for the technology. We are also thankful for some warmer weather that allowed us to get outside as a family.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
While we are thankful that the presence of COVID has been officially recognized on the islands, we also realize that the measures being taken are not enough to truly slow the spread. There is a curfew at night, but during the day many islanders are still leaving the houses and interacting with others. Our teammates report that across the street the neighborhood is still gathering all the children for their daily religious lessons. Pray for mercy. COVID doesn’t seem to be hitting Clove Island yet as hard as it is the big island. We have one colleague on the small island who is sick with a cough (as are most of her neighbors), pray for her quick healing and that she could be a light to others. Pray for island brothers and sisters that don’t have smart phones and are more isolated, that they would find encouragement at this time. We’re working on getting a big mailing out this week—pray that it would help people to learn more about what is happening on the islands and that interested people would follow-up with us. Pray for our daughter who turns 12 this week and that we would find good ways to celebrate her.