Bringing Her Home

 “I have a daughter on the French Island.  She is my heart.”  That was the way Mtsa described his second born with a touch of sadness in his voice the very first time he told me about his family over a year ago.  Mtsa has three children, all girls.  The eldest is 15, the youngest is 6, but his middle child, Mapema, had been sent to the French Island with the hopes of a better life.

Our beautiful island

She was sent 3 years ago, to live under the care of a relative of Mtsa’s wife.  She was to go to school and get French papers and be given a better life than any islander can hope for—at least that is the story.  Mtsa and his wife believed the story and at the tender age of 11 sent Mapema off to the care of her relatives in search of a better life.

That life never materialized.  The reality is that French laws have become stricter, the schools on the French island are more difficult to enter and her relatives there had no great desire to advocate for her.  In fact, they were much happier to keep her at home where they could put her to work cooking, cleaning, and washing clothes.

The more I learned about the situation the less I liked what I heard.  Though Mtsa still held onto some hope that his daughter would go to school and get her papers, it seemed more and more like he was holding onto an illusion.  When I would ask him, “How is your daughter on the French Island?”  The answer was inevitably, “No news.”  It would slowly come to light, that every time he called, he would be told that his daughter was out, busy or didn’t feel like talking to him.

Eventually the truth started to come out.  Mapema hadn’t been to school at all.  She was working like a slave and was regularly beaten.  The situation was intolerable.  Local government had gotten involved.  Either she would come home to Clove Island or she would be put into a Catholic orphanage.

The next week was an exhausting one of meetings and asking family members for money and us eventually agreeing to help pay most of her ticket.  But in the end, the ticket was acquired and she was on her way home.  We went to the port to meet her as she got off the boat on Clove Island.

Welcoming Mapemo at our house

As she came out the door of the port her family gathered around her.  Poor Mapema —almost 14 years old now, looked stunned.  Then she started to weep.  Crying is frowned upon in island culture, so they quickly told her to stop.  She managed to get it together but she looked stone faced, devoid of emotion at all.

I had warned Mtsa that it would not be easy for her.  Three years she has been away, traumatized, beaten or worse.  It would take time to adjust back to life in Clove Island.  It would probably be quite difficult.  But Mtsa’s face was full of delight.  He looked like he was ready to cry as well.  His daughter was home.  His heart.

It would be easy to judge Mtsa and his wife for making such a poor decision.  For subjecting their daughter to such trauma.  But Mtsa is poor.  He has trouble putting food on the table for his family.  He thought he was giving his daughter a better life.  Now he must live with that mistake.

Thankfully, there is always hope.  There is the promise of forgiveness and healing.  We are praying for Mapema.  We are glad she is home.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for Mapema’s return home. Thanks for praying— the internet stayed strong and steady for our son’s educational assessments. We are so thankful that there was someone willing to do them for us over the internet and for a discounted rate. Our son was a champ through them all! Our daughter has decided on a college— we are thankful that she has peace about the decision and for a good scholarship!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for Mapema’s transition back into life with her family and on Clove Island and for her healing. The visiting group are moving forward with their visit despite the changes to their flight— they will now only have one night on the small island. Pray that their flights are not delayed and that they can make the most of their time. Pray that they would catch a vision for the work on the islands. All our colleagues on the islands will be descending on the big island on Thursday (including our family) for our annual islands-wide gathering. Pray that all the inter island travel goes as planned. Pray for us and the others leading that time— may God direct our plans and may we all be encouraged. Some colleagues returned from a medical emergency with their young son, only to have a medical emergency with their baby girl. Pray for her healing and for this family. 

Are You Willing to Listen?

 “I just don’t think it’s good for someone to be alone.  Everything tells me that it’s not right.”

These were more or less Mtsa’s thoughts a few days ago when we were talking about marriage and celibacy/singleness.  After that Mtsa proceeded to make his case:

Island bride at recent wedding event

God said to Adam, “It’s not good for man to be alone.”

He said, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.”

“A man by himself, who will take care of him when he gets sick?  Who will bury him when he dies?  It just isn’t right.  I think it is a sin.”

How would you answer?  Islanders grow up being told that it is a sin not to marry and have children.  And it’s not just islanders but people in many African cultures believe the same.  To present an alternative is to suggest a major shift in life’s purposes, of what is right and wrong, of what is good and bad.  One might ask—is it necessary?  Why not let them believe as they do?  Why are we imposing our views on them?

If I were imploring them to follow my own culture, it would not be right.  As cultures around the world have rejected the importance of marriage and children and birthrates plummet across the world, who am I to tell them they have it wrong?  The truth is, Mtsa makes some compelling arguments. So we talk and we try to listen.  But really listening means being open to have your ideas changed.  Is my heart open? Is his?

“Marriage is good,” I respond. “Children are good.  There is no doubt about that.  But is it the only way?” I ask.  “What if God called you to do something difficult?  Go to a far away land where people will try to kill you.  Would you go?  What if God calls some people to not get married?  Their life will be hard, they won’t have people to look after them.  There will be many times when they are alone.  But if God has called them to do that, isn’t it more important to do God’s will? What about people who get married and can’t have children—are they sinning?”

Enjoying having kids home

“Moreover I see that people here get married for lots of bad reasons,” I continued. “They accept a fiancé because they are rich.  Or they say, ‘I’m 30 years old, it’s time that I must get married.’  I ask someone, ‘Tell me about your fiancé, are they a good person?  Are they honest? Are they kind?’ And more often than not they say, ‘I don’t know.’  This is the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with and you don’t know them?  Is this better than not marrying?”

Mtsa listened and agreed that these things weren’t good.  But he still wanted to make the case: better a bad marriage and kids than being alone.  “We are meant to fill the the earth.” 

“Perhaps we are meant to fill the earth in a different way.  Just as we are not the actual blood of Abraham, we are called children of Abraham.  Just because we don’t have a blood family, God will give us a spiritual family.”  At that point a recent anecdote came to mind:

“You know my teammate came to our house the other day, but her neighbors hadn’t seen her leave.  When she wasn’t back at dusk, they became concerned and started calling all around trying to reach her.  When she didn’t answer her phone (we were having a prayer meeting) they called even more people.  They were that worried about her.  Our teammate is unmarried, and many times it is not easy for her.  She lives alone.  And yet, God has given her a family.”

Mtsa listened and thought.  I fell silent and thought too.  I have not changed my mind about the rightness or wrongness of singleness, but Mtsa has helped me appreciate the difficulties of the issue (perhaps especially for islanders). I know our single teammates are dragged into these kinds of conversations all the time and have much better answers. They use these hard interactions to share the eternal hope that they have.  I hope to listen to my single teammates and to continue to grow in my understanding and appreciation of them, their joys and hardships.  I don’t know if Mtsa has changed his mind on this issue, but I saw that Mtsa was listening and I want to be a person who listens too.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our colleague on the big island was able to get to mainland Africa quickly with her son and get him the medical evaluations that he needed. Our daughter got some more information which has helped her be very close to making a decision about college— she is waiting for one more response, but assuming no surprises she is feeling good about making that decision (and we are too). Tom has been encouraging Mtsa for a long time to bring his adolescent daughter home to Clove Island (she was sent to French Island years ago, but was never sent to school there and has been mistreated)— after lots of meetings and struggling for funds, it looks like she will come home tomorrow. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our younger son needs to do some educational assessments over video-chat this week— the required internet speed for the assessments is only possible from the islands when we are having a good internet day. Please pray for good internet (especially our Monday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoons). Pray that the assessments would go well and not stress out our son too much. We have a big decision looming (beyond our daughter’s college decision), pray for wisdom, clarity and peace about it. There is a group meant to visit the work on the islands next week but their incoming flight was just canceled and rescheduled for several days later (severely impacting their short trip)— pray for wisdom on whether they should try to rebook with a different airline and for the needed finances for any changes they need to make. There are two young short-term workers visiting different locations on the islands this week— one is coming to stay with our teammate, another is going to the small island and staying with a worker there— pray for good visits and that their exposure to different workers’ lives might inspire them to long-term work. Pray for our colleague who is in the process of saying goodbyes and leaving the islands—she has left her home today and will have some time visiting other locations— pray for good interactions and closure for her. 

Favored Status?

 This past weekend, we celebrated the fact that the price has been paid for our irrevocable citizenship in heaven— a citizenship for new life available to people from every people, language and nation— uniting us and giving us unrelenting hope for the future. Alleluia!

Back together for school break

The reality here on earth is that we are not all united under one citizenship and things are not equal across every nation. Generally, we have been privileged as US citizens to have passports that allow us to travel to almost any country in the world. The favored status has been something that we’ve taken for granted—there is a meeting in Europe, or a reason to pop over the French Island next door, or we’re invited to meet someone for vacation in a country we’ve never been to before. For us, the decision to go comes down to our finances and making time in our schedule. We don’t have to think about if we are allowed to be there. 

But as our organization has diversified, we’ve become more conscious that for many people from other nations, they can’t assume that they will be allowed into another country.  They always have to check, apply and wait to see. 

This severely impacts their plans. Our regional director was denied the opportunity to attend a large conference. A colleague couldn’t go to a family wedding. Another colleague wasn’t allowed to visit his in-laws. We couldn’t organize a meeting on the French Island because we knew not everyone would be allowed entry there. Beyond just finances and timetables, others have to factor into any trip the visa application procedures and the likelihood that they will or will not be allowed in the country. For people considering long-term work, they sometimes have to fight the battle twice— first to be allowed into the country and then to be allowed to stay. 

On Clove Island, our family has been blessed by always having an easy time getting and renewing our annual service visas, but we had one colleague who was forced to pay a large fee for her longterm visa like a business person because of her passport country. We’ve taken it for granted that our passport country has been a benefit… but could that tide be shifting? 

Four countries in Africa have enacted visa bans for US citizens in the past year. It might seem like a small thing, but we have a lot of friends and acquaintances who suddenly are not allowed to stay in the countries where they have lived and worked for years (even decades). Some of these Americans who have had their country of service closed to them, are looking to see if they can claim nationality with another nation so they could re-enter their countries with a different passport. Even on the islands, anti-American rhetoric is higher than we have ever seen. Suddenly having a US passport doesn’t seem like a promise of favored treatment abroad.  

Passports back with new island visas

Tom was trying to finalize our visa renewal this past month. He got the recommendation letter from the department of education like normal, but when he went to the immigration offices, they said it wasn’t enough. He needed to get a letter from the island governor as well.  While this change didn’t seem directed at us as Americans, we did wonder if it was showing a shift in attitude, a desire to scrutinize more closely the foreigners in their midst.  

Thankfully it didn’t end up being a big deal. It was annoying and time-consuming, but everyone was friendly and Tom was able to finalize our visa renewal without much trouble. We are thankful. We don’t want to take that ease and goodwill for granted. We know that on this side of heaven, we can’t put our trust in the reputation of our passport country or on the favor of men. Reputations change and favor can be fleeting, but the power and love of God is unchanging and forever. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We thank God for our risen Savior and the chance to remember and celebrate Him this past weekend. Tom sent out messages to all our island contacts for the holiday and got back lots of positive responses. Megan was able to study with Hashiri and encourage her in her new job situation. There was a nice study at women’s gathering despite some missing people. Generally our kids have recovered well from their travels. Our daughter had a rough day on Sunday, but is improved today. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The Easter gathering didn’t really happen. We were supposed to gather and picnic outside by a river, but it was rainy. There ended up being some smaller gatherings. We have started planting seeds about the idea of doing a bigger gathering in May for Pentecost— pray that this would gain traction and be planned in good time so that many can participate and be encouraged. Pray for a mainland African family that often hosted events but after some backlash has stopped hosting anything— pray for them to know how to continue to be both wise and bold. Pray for the island body— it seems a bit disjointed at the moment. Two brothers have traveled to the big island to talk about plans for the coming few years for the islands— pray for unity and for God to be the director of their plans. Men’s gathering probably won’t happen until they are back— but pray that it does happen this month. Pray for our daughter as she makes her decision about where to go to college— pray for peace and a clear way forward. A bar has reopened across from us (after being quiet for more than a year) with loud music until 2am on both Friday and Saturday this past weekend— pray that this doesn’t become a new trend and that the neighborhood would pressure it to respect people’s sleep (something they have done in the past). A colleague on the big island had to evacuate to mainland Africa with her young son for medical care— pray for healing for him and peace of mind for his parents.