When Is It Too Much?

 It was a busy time. His disciples had been off on trips with lots of excitement. They had just gotten news that a good friend had been killed. Many people were demanding their attention. So finally he told his disciples it was time to get some time to themselves to rest, so they got in a boat to get away.

Heading to wedding event

There are lots of ways to talk about setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, knowing your limits. Part of being a healthy adult is about learning when and how to say ‘no’ to things and take time for yourself. You can’t be all things to all people. You can’t do everything.

On the islands, the struggle comes with invitations to attend events and ceremonies, to visit an English center, to go on an all-day picnic, to teach another class. These invitations are the foundation of our being part of island community. They facilitate our building relationships with islanders. We’re glad to have so many invitations! But we do have limits and what is too much?

When he arrived on the shore with his disciples for their ‘time away’, he found that a crowd had anticipated their trip and rushed ahead of them. But He didn’t turn around the boat to go somewhere else. He didn’t rebuke the crowd and tell them to leave him and his disciples alone. He had compassion and gave them attention and teaching. Then after another full day, He shows his disciples God’s amazing provision by feeding all 5000 people in the crowd with a minimal amount of food!

On the islands (like many in our kind of work), we don’t have the neat boundaries of a 9am-5pm workday, but we encourage our teammates to take a day off each week, to take time to relax and rest. But that doesn’t stop invitations from falling on our day off or filling an entire week. Plus, events are often of undefined duration and can even go into the wee hours of the night. Even when we are in top form, it can be hard, but we also have days when we’re sick, weeks where we’ve thrown out our backs, times when we have been so busy and just get so tired. But at the same time, we serve a great God and we have seen Him provide strength and energy at times when we were lacking. He has seen us through busy and tiring times, so perhaps we’re meant to just say ‘yes’ and keep seeing Him provide, seeing Him take our little and make it much.

A different wedding event this week

After the crazy evening, He was quick to make sure his disciples got back in the boat and head off away from the crowds. He stayed, sent the crowd away and then went off by himself to pray.

Ultimately trusting God will take us in different directions at different times. Sometimes God wants to stretch us and use us in our weakness, when we’re tired or sick or stretched thin. But sometimes God wants us to stop and rest, sometimes He wants to remind us that it doesn’t all revolve around us. He wants us to just sit and wait and see Him use others.

My back gave out right before the week of a close friend’s wedding.  I threw my back out from doing too much—but a wedding is not something I could postpone or say no to completely.  God saw me through with a mixture of staying at home and seeing God provide and sustain me through wedding events.

Yet another wedding event this week

Deciding when to push forward and when to rest takes discernment and humility, which only God can give. It takes the self-awareness of knowing where my heart is in the moment of decision and where I am looking for my strength. Are my eyes on myself or are they lifted up?  I fail in this often— in both directions. Sometimes I am selfish and prioritize my own needs and desires. Sometimes I try to do too much myself, not trusting that I can get away and rest, or not letting God use others to serve me and do the things I normally do. I need this lesson often. Thankfully He is patient  and keeps giving me the chance to keep on learning!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Megan’s back is doing much better and was able to make appearances at several wedding events without re-hurting her back. The boys are almost done with their exams and haven’t been overly stressed. Our teammate has seen some improvement in her allergy symptoms. We were able to celebrate our older son’s 12th birthday this weekend (a little early). We are so thankful for him! There was a picnic on Sunday with some island brothers and sisters and got to celebrate a special swim with a new island brother.  

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our medical teammates made it to the big island and had a meeting at the ministry of health. They have been given a long list of things they have to do before they can get approval to start work. They are grateful for this progress after waiting for months, but please pray that they would be able to jump through the necessary hoops and get authorization soon (and that this long process would make it easier for future medical workers). There is only one week before fasting begins on the island- pray for our heart preparation for this time as it is a time of great spiritual fervency, legalism, and searching. 

Picnics and Patience

March is a busy month. 

Picnic Time!

Not that Marches are always busy, but this year it happens to match with the islands’ busy month.  Islanders follow a lunar religious calendar, so religious holidays aren’t static. This year April will be the month of fasting, which makes March the “month before the fasting month”  which is a busy month.  Why?  Most things will shut down with the month of fasting.  English schools will go quiet, beaches will be empty, and restaurants will close up.  So during the “before the fasting month” month, there is always a flurry of activity.  For example, last week we had exams nearly every day and more than one English program are hoping to squeeze in a ceremony.  There are lots of weddings (wedding ceremonies are forbidden during the fasting month too).  Finally, many people see this month as the last chance to party with daytime outings and eating (as that is strictly forbidden during the fasting month), so a lot of people try get out and have a barbecue/picnic!

We got invited to one of these big picnics over the weekend.  It was a great time.  There were around 20 of us. Things got off to a regular prompt start  (which means they said leaving at 8am and we were on the move at 9am). When we arrived at the picnic spot (about an hour’s drive away) everything was well organized.  Lots of food, necessary cooking utensils, and lots of water for everyone.  (We’ve been on lots of picnics that were far less organized.)  

Beautiful river nearby

After a gut-splitting delicious meal (it was a lot of food), we went for a walk.  They took us to a waterfall we’d never seen before (ten years here and we’re still discovering new things). It was beautiful.  Then we returned to the picnic spot to play some games, give some speeches (islanders love speeches), cook and eat a bit more (I couldn’t, I was too full).  Then it was time to pack up and go home.  This all seemed a bit surprising as there is usually something that goes wrong on island picnics—some unforeseen difficulty arises, or undesirable thing happens.  It seemed like they might have pulled this one off without a hitch!  Only thing is, we started to look around and asked…where is the bus?

A month with lots of activities is tiring. It is easy to struggle to maintain a good attitude. It can be hard to remember to rejoice in the investment we are making to our island relationships when yet another invite comes rolling in or as another event drags out in an inefficient manner. Not to mention it is hot and humid and generally uncomfortable. We can find lots of reasons to complain and grumble, even if it is only in our hearts. The lesson is to look for God at work, to be patient and to trust.

We had paid for a bus driver to both take us down and pick us up from the picnic spot.  It’s a pretty common thing to do for one of these events.  But our bus driver had taken the bus and left and now he was MIA. We waited, played some more games, talked, but no bus…and it was starting to get dark.  So we started walking down the road.  The way things were going, this could be a long walk.  That’s when the Lord provided.  An empty dump truck drove by and we flagged him down.  He was willing to take all of us on and bring us the 3km to the intersection where we may, in fact, be able to catch a taxi bus home.  So we climbed in and sat on the truck bed.  He rattled down the road as night fell and our teammate prayed we would be able to find a taxibus.  

From the back of the truck! Yay!

The truck pulled up to the intersection and we started unloading just as a nearly empty 15 passenger taxibus pulled up.  We piled in like sardines.  It was hot, uncomfortable and overcrowded, but we were on our way home!    We pulled into town around 8pm, tired, hot and ready to go home.

The next day we got a message from our host?  “Did you have a good time?”  
“Yes!” I told him, “Of course we did.”  (It’s not like it’s his fault the bus driver never showed up).  “And God provided a truck and a bus just when we needed it.  So we are thankful for His provision.”  
“Amen.” Our host responded.   

PRAYERS ANSWERED 

Our medical teammates have been told to go to the big island to meet with the health official that should be able to give them the authorization to begin medical work. They are hoping this development is the final hoop to their long wait-- pray for a smooth trip, good meetings with clear communication and for authorization by the end of the week! We are thankful that although the picnic described above was long, it was good. The road outside our house was finally tarred-- not sure if that is the final step, but its progress! Our daughter finished her rite-of-passage challenges marking her entrance into young adulthood and we had a little celebration. It is such a blessing to watch her grow up!

PRAYERS REQUESTED 

Megan threw out her back on Wednesday. She has spent a lot of time flat on her back since then, and has seen significant improvement. Pray for healing, for a quick recovery, a lessening of pain and for wisdom as there are several wedding events this week for close friends that she should be going to (from a relational standpoint). Pray that she can honor these friends while also protecting her recovery process. Our boys are meant to start their school exams this week-- pray that this would not be a stressful time for them. Our teammate continues to struggle with allergies--pray for relief. We only have couple more weeks before the month of fasting, pray that we would use our time wisely and be prepared for the unique opportunities that month has for sharing.

Just an Old Fish?

Last week a fisherman in our neighboring town made a rare catch. He caught a huge and unusual fish from deep in the twilight zone of the ocean. One look and he knew what it was.

Forwarded pic of the fish

On our islands, this is a famous fish! It is featured on money. It’s the mascot for sports teams. I’ve seen it depicted in paintings and murals around the islands and on tourist souvenirs. Everyone knows the name of this fish.

So when the subject of the rare catch came up at the beginning of our English Club, we decided to ask the warm-up introduction question of,  “What do you know about this fish?” Our warm-up questions are meant to be easy, just a way to get people talking. We imagined that everyone would easily say one fact or anecdote about the fish. But as we went around the circle, there were only admissions of “I don’t know” or vague observations like “It’s a fish” or “It’s very important.” One speculated, “Maybe it is very delicious.” Everyone readily admitted that it was a significant fish for the islands and important in their history, but not a single person could say why or provide any basic facts about what made it so unusual.  None of them had ever seen one in person.

We are not islanders, but we had a heads up on all our English Club attendees. We had seen a specimen at the history museum in the island capital years ago and still remembered several basic facts. The fish has been unchanged since the time of the dinosaurs. It had been thought to be extinct, when they discovered that there are still a few populations of these “living fossils” in the world. They are critically endangered and fishermen are not supposed to intentionally catch or kill them. All of this was news to our island friends, and one still concluded the discussion by expressing his opinion that he hoped they would get to eat it! (I later looked up and learned that these fish are known for not tasting good and even making some people sick when eaten.)

English Club

How often do the details of an object’s, an event’s or a person’s cultural or historical significance get lost over the years, leaving just a vague remembrance that the thing/person was important? In this case, the vagueness of this remembrance could lead someone to want to catch and eat what is supposed to be marveled at and protected. Now islanders aren’t unique in this phenomena, I am sure there are plenty of things that I have learned about in history class or growing up in the States, things whose name would ring bells in my memory alerting me that they are important but for which I would be hard-pressed to produce any details.

But how do we battle this forgetfulness for things that are truly important?  

We have to keep telling the stories and details behind the things we hold dear! We have to pass down more than “this is important” but the why’s, the who’s and how’s. This week I was reading a storybook with an island friend about Noah. Before we read it, I asked if she knew about Noah. She said she did know about him “Wasn’t he the father of Mary?” she asked.  The storybook helped clear up the confusion, but this happens to us a lot.  There are lots of people/events that we hold dear that islanders only have vague notions of their importance. May it motivate us to learn more local language and look for more opportunities to fill in the details!

Visiting newborn

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Some sections of road have been fully finished this week and some movement towards potentially finishing the remaining sections soon. Normal trash pick-up hasn’t resumed, but the big pile was removed from the corner! We have been enjoying having strong water back on at our house! All our guests visiting from other islands made it back safely to their respective islands. Megan has started to share the storybooks with our house helper and friend on her 40 day maternity confinement. Her baby boy is doing well. We have been encouraged by our newest teammate’s attitude and hard work towards language learning. There was an encouraging story this week of an island brother sharing with a neighbor and seeing him make a decision! We were also encouraged that there is a desire to do leadership training among brothers and sisters on our islands in the next couple months!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Tom is considering restarting studying with two island men, pray for wisdom about how, when and what to study. One of our teammates is really struggling with allergies that have been known to lead to sinus infections. Pray that we might identify the cause of her allergies and/or find some medicine that will relieve her symptoms better and/or for miraculous healing! Continue to pray for the approval for the medical team to begin work! There are only a few weeks before the month of fasting and they are going to be packed with exams, ceremonies, weddings, and picnics. Pray for our stamina through all of these special events and for wisdom on what to attend and what to say no to. One big picnic is this Saturday for an English center, pray for good interactions and conversations and deepening relationship.

Fixing One Thing Breaks Something Else

A few weeks we wrote about road work.  It was exciting to see overnight the big machines come in, the road ripped up and gravel and concrete being put down.  It seemed like we would have a new road running by our house in just a few days!  But alas, it was not to be.

Hauling water from downstairs

As the roller vehicles pressed and battered the gravel down to a hard flat surface, shaking our house like an earthquake, the old rusted water pipes that ran under the road could not take it.  They broke and work was stopped as some of the new road had to be dug up so that the water pipes could be fixed.  Apparently this happened in multiple places.  The end result being that we didn’t have water coming to our house for the next two weeks.

What did it mean for us?  Well, our neighbors, who are on a different line had water coming nice and strong to their tap down in the courtyard.  So every few days, we would run up and down the steps with 10L jerrycans filling and emptying, filling and emptying until the water reserve barrels in our house were full again.  Good exercise, but hard work!

Though the road work stalled because of plumbing issues, other life still went on.  The roads remained closed for travel which meant a lot of cars were diverted from their normal routes.  Of course, this caused traffic.  Our small city, which is usually blessed with few traffic problems, became a snarling, honking mess of crawling taxis and buses.

But it was not only the taxis that could not get through.  Normally the garbage trucks roam the city streets honking their horns on arrival and picking up trash almost daily from every neighborhood.  But with the roads closed, no garbage trucks were coming through.  For us, that meant, walking our bags of garbage a block away to a designated drop area.  But since multiple neighborhoods were effected by this roadwork, the garbage pile there was going exponentially, and despite the fact that it is a drop off point, it appeared that the garbage truck could still not get to it, resulting in a expanding mound of refuse that is spilling out into the street, letting off a tremendous, sickening stench.

Filling up our water barrels

So to summarize, a good thing, that should make life in our neighborhood a little nicer—a new road—ended up stirring up problems (water and trash) that actually made life more difficult for many people.  Isn’t that the way it often is in our lives?  We try to fix one thing only to break something else in the process.  

There is certainly a lesson to be learned in all this.  Life is interconnected.  One system effects another system.  We have to consider how everything works together.  How often in life do we try to fix one problem in our lives for example: “I’m too busy.”  or “I’m not patient enough.” or “I need to exercise more.” or “I want to be less anxious” without considering the way the one problem is interconnected with the rest of our lives.  Many times we try to fix one thing and maybe even see results (I’m exercising more!), only to see something else suffer (I’m spending less time with my family.).

Perhaps the problem is that we try to fix symptoms of things going wrong in our lives, when what we really need is systemic transformation.  In our personal lives that means heart change.   Only heart change gets all our systems working together in harmony.  It’s what we need in our own lives and in bigger systems as well.  But transformation is hard.  Harder than building a new road.  It takes time.  Thankfully, we know the one who is an expert at transformation. He is ready to work in individuals and societies, if only we will have Him!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our island brothers and sisters made it safely back from their conference and it sounds like it was a very encouraging time of great fellowship with brothers and sisters from all over Africa! Our leadership training ran relatively smoothly this weekend, despite our facilitator being connected via zoom, some our members flights being changed, and issues around power and internet connectivity.  We work with some great and patient people and have a team full of servant-hearted helpers.  So, in the end, things went pretty smoothly and the time of learning, thinking, and growing was beneficial.  Our house helper had her baby!  Mom and baby boy are doing well- though there has been some concerns that he isn’t going to the bathroom like he should- pray that this would resolve quickly.  The women’s gathering was a success and encouragement to all.  And after two weeks of hauling water up and down the stairs, our water finally got fixed today!

The gross trash pile (that's usually a sidewalk)

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Please pray that the road could get fixed, the water pipes replaced and the garbage trucks would run again, but more importantly pray for the heart and minds of islanders to be transformed!  Please continue to pray for our newest teammate as she works hard to learn language, that she could be set up with consistent and faithful language helpers.  Please keep praying for government approval for our medical team.  They have been waiting months now to be allowed to work in the hospital.  It certainly seems like the problems are simply red-tape and bureaucracy, but it is still rather frustrating.  Pray for their patience and to make good use of this time to make more inroads into relationships and into the community.  May they be well-loved in that town even before they start medical work! Pray for Megan as she goes to visit them and encourage their local language learning!