Re-Counting the Costs

All new workers to the islands must read and respond to a certain document we send them. One of the objectives of this document is to get people to think about what they will be giving up in coming to the islands and anticipating what sacrifices and difficulties they will face here.

Our older kids just got back on break between terms!

Ultimately, we want people to have counted the cost, prayed about the cost, and to have found some God-granted peace before coming. By coming with eyes wide open, they will not be blind-sided by the hard things and will already have that assurance that God led them here and will be with them through the difficulties.  

As a team, we are reading and discussing a book by an overseas worker about facing risks and danger. In one chapter, the author challenged us with the need to re-count the costs, or at least to be sensitive that others may need to recount the cost, even if we feel like we have already done so. She focused on the different family situations— single vs married vs having young kids vs older kids, and the different roles— new workers vs team leaders vs regional leaders, and the changing circumstances and difficulties that might have been unforeseen and unexpected.

Basically, she is challenging us to acknowledge that we can’t have anticipated everything— our lives and our circumstances are complex webs— and we might find that there is a cost that we hadn’t considered or found peace with before.

Son in costume for the play

For many workers, they had to recount the cost when the COVID pandemic hit. The shutting of borders around the globe was unprecedented— we may have had peace about the islands’ lack of medical care when we came out, but before you could always fly to another country if necessary. With borders closed that wasn’t really possible.

Other things that makes us count the cost again are changes in our health or aging parents or other family needs—all change the cost of being overseas. Sometimes as people recount the cost, they find that they don’t have peace about staying anymore and they feel that God is asking them to pay the different cost of returning to their home country.

In reality, every decision has a cost, and just as we see prices of produce rise greatly on the islands because of too much rain this year, so we see the new or higher costs of our decisions as circumstances change.

A newer cost for us has been having kids at boarding school. We were aware that it might be something we’d want to do when we first came to the islands, but our eldest was a baby then. It was far off and didn’t really feel real at that time. After several years that cost became real and we had to acknowledge the cost, grieve the sacrifice and find peace with it.

This past month, that cost felt a little more expensive. Our daughter is in choir and had a tour. Our son was playing basketball and had games.  He also had a role in the Jr. High drama production. Before, I would have said that our kids being involved in activities like sports, choir and drama is one of the great benefits of them going to boarding school (and it is), but having our kids do these extra-curriculars and rarely being able to be there in person to watch them and cheer them on has been a heavier than expected load.

With his Wood Tech creations

It doesn’t mean we don’t have peace with our decision of living on the islands or having our kids at boarding school. But we have to acknowledge the cost and recommit to being here in spite of it. We have to place our burdens down at the feet of the One who can carry them much better than we can. It’s a process and the process teaches us and prepares us for the next time we have to recount.

We hope to prepare so that new workers facing difficult situations can say, “We knew this was part of it. We knew this was going to be difficult. This isn’t a surprise.” But even when the surprises come, we hope the experience of counting the cost and seeing God faithful will help us to say, “If this is what He wants, then we can have peace through this too.”

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our two older kids made it through their end-of-term exams and projects. They arrived back to us yesterday after a long trip (3 flights) to get back to Clove Island. We are thankful for the different adults that were able to help them along the way. We are thankful that we will have them with us for the next 4 weeks!  We are thankful for the opportunities this month of fasting give us and our colleagues to share the good news of hope and forgiveness.  We are encouraged by all the people who join us in fervent prayer this month for islanders as this is a time when many may be seeking a deeper connection with God.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for everyone on the islands celebrating the Easter holiday this upcoming weekend, which is made more difficult during the month of fasting. May it be a wonderful time of celebrating the new life we have available to us! Pray for those facing persecution this month. We’ve heard that a group on the big island had police enter and stop their normal weekly meeting, even though they had federal permissions to exist.  The local mayor forbad them to meet in that town. We also heard of an island sister whose landlord is threatening to kick out her family because of her beliefs. Pray that these situations could be turned into opportunities for more people to hear and be impacted by the good news.  Pray for our youngest son as he finishes up his local school exams and then for all our kids to enjoy a break from schoolwork. Pray for us as we try to find fun ways to celebrate our older son’s birthday (most of his preferred options are difficult or not possible during the month of fasting). Pray also for the increasing number of cholera cases on the island (most islanders don’t believe the reports that it is on the island). Pray that islanders would take sanitation seriously and would get treatment at the first sign of symptoms.

Awkward and Difficult or an Opportunity?

 When we first came to the islands, we tended to see the month of fasting as difficult and uncomfortable time. Our routines and rhythms are disrupted. You never know when shops will be open or when the bakeries will have bread. Life is a little more difficult. Islanders are more tired and  often irritable because they are fasting and staying up late. They also become more aggressive and pushy in their religious conversations, usually taking a superior view of themselves in comparison to someone of any other belief. We started to see the constant badgering about whether we were fasting as trial to be endured, a test of our patience and of our ability to not answer with antagonism.

Smaller English club during fasting month

But then years ago, I was challenged to not pray for the month of fasting as something to endure, but to actually find joy in it. Praying that we would answer people with joy in our hearts—and be excited to have the opportunity to share with those who were fasting and putting all their hopes in their own good works.

It ended up being a shift. Instead of thinking of defensive responses where we’d be caught trying to explain how we loved God just as much as they do and how we just fasted in different ways, we started answering with joy in our hearts about how we rejoice that we don’t have to fast like them— our way to God is already cleared for us!

Family movie in back hallway during month of fasting

It reminds me of another situation where a new brother was asked to become an elder of his town (an elder would be expected to lead the community in religious observances). Everyone was immediately very tense about this— wondering what the motives of this request were. Did the town see that he wasn’t completely orthodox and were hoping to make him conform? Was it a trap? Or were they just trying to honor him as a respected man of a certain age? It was easy to see the request as an awkward, difficult situation. But then there was a shift in thinking, maybe this is a great opportunity for him to have influence and be an agent for change in his greater community.

To be honest, as foreigners on the islands, we have been in lots of awkward and uncomfortable situations. Like good and sincere friends asking to set up a betrothal between our daughter and their son. Or our single teammates constantly being bombarded with marriage proposals, or the countless requests for us to privately tutor people or to help them get a visa to the US. Seeing these conversations as opportunities doesn’t mean we are granting people’s requests, but answering them with joy, and with gratitude at the opportunity to share.

Recently, a wealthy island friend, who has been very generous to us (inviting us to his home for a feast for example), has asked us to help him visit the US. He can get his own visa, but he wondered if he could stay with our family there for a month. Some part of us wondered if there wasn’t a way to wriggle out of this awkward and difficult situation, but it didn’t take long for us to see the opportunity to not only deepen our friendship with this islander but for him to meet and interact with people that could have a positive influence on him.

Lost first canine!

We’re not sure what will come during this month of fasting, but we know it will include a number of moments that could be awkward or difficult— we pray that in those moments we can have the perspective to receive them with joy and take advantage of the opportunities they represent.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful that Muki reached out to one of our friends on the big island and they plan to study together while Muki is on that island. We are encouraged to hear that his desire to learn and grow has not been lessened with his temporary change of location. Our son had a significant speaking role in his jr high play this past weekend. We are very proud of him and thankful he got that experience. We have already seen answers to prayer as we have asked people to pray for specific people during the month of fasting and then we have had opportunities to share the good news with those people. Our colleague’s first week of internship at the hospital went well— not tons of patients come during the month of fasting, but her interactions with the few patients and staff have gone well.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray that the answers to prayer and opportunities to share truth with islanders would continue. There has been no progress on plans for a larger gathering as some of the key players have been sick/busy. Pray for good health and a clear plan moving forward. Pray for our kids— all three of them have end of term exams this week. Pray that they would feel prepared without being stressed. Pray for our oldest two kids as they travel back to the islands at the end of the week— there are a couple awkward things with their travel that have the possibility of making it more stressful— pray that it all goes smoothly and that they can even get some rest as they travel overnight. Pray for the islands as times continue to be hard— with produce shortages and high prices and heat making the month of fasting harder on everyone (especially the poor). If you want to receive our weekly prayer emails during the month of fasting or a link to a website with prayer prompts, please let us know!

How Much Honor

 We came to the end of the line. The end of an over 2 hour van ride that had left several people car sick with the twisting roads going up and down mountains. The end of a dead-end road. The only reason to take that final turn is to come to this final village. A village tucked away on the other side of the island— close to no other village. Several of the people in the van were only tagging along to see the village, which none of them had ever been to. I’ll admit that was one of the reasons that I agreed to go to— to be able to say that I had gone to another one of the far corners of the island.

Village gathered for ceremony

But in reality we were there for an English ceremony. A teacher we had trained and who was part of a program teaching on the comparatively near plateau, had started classes in this village and it was time for his students to get certificates. I expect that a good portion of the village was there, some welcomed into chairs and bunches of others standing along the edges. A group of kids were constantly being shooed away from lifting up the cloth that had been hung to provide temporary walls for the gathering.

Tom came ready with his speech— representing our NGO, the parent group for this program (even if we had never taught a class or even visited before this moment). As Tom began to speak, someone came and put a flower necklace around his neck. This is not a surprise. We can rarely go to an event like this without being given a necklace. This is how they honor us and each other.

But then a group of women ascended the platform and surrounded Tom. We could still hear his voice giving the speech thanks to the microphone and speakers, but we could no longer see him, as a flurry of arms reached up over his head to put on necklaces and while others slipped around pinning flowers and money onto his jacket and others worked arms in to shove small bills in his pocket. This was new!

Tom beginning his speech

By the end of his speech, Tom had necklaces up to his ears, at least seven items safety-pinned to his jacket and a wad of over $15 in cash shoved into his breast pocket.

We have seen people receive several necklaces before (especially in villages and usually when it is  a beloved son with many loving aunties, mamas, and cousins). We have also seen money forced on people as they talk or sing before a crowd (slipped into the neck of their shirt if there are no pockets). At weddings, it is common for large number of the guests to get flower necklaces, while the wedding singer will be given cash tips from several people.

Most of the time these necklaces are planned… with the family members preparing the flower necklaces at home and bringing them for the express purpose of giving them to specific people. The giving of money is sometimes spontaneous. There was one pre-adolescent young man who gave a surprisingly rousing speech in English at this ceremony that had some of our friends (who didn’t know him at all) pulling money from their wallets to slip into the boy’s pocket as he spoke.

Tom at end of speech

In the US we would probably clap loudly and cheer to show our appreciation, maybe even give them a standing ovation. We may even go up to them afterwards to honor them with compliments.  In some settings we would have pre-planned to give them a flower bouquet, but probably not with the sense of extravagance that Tom received for his 3 minute speech.  It felt a bit much.

In this far-away, end-of-the-line village— most people, even fellow islanders, have never visited. By coming, by helping (even tangentially) to get the English program going there, we had honored this village and they were working to pay that back. They were meeting honor with honor, and in doing so they were also raising themselves up. Because by doing so much for Tom, not only will we remember how long it took to get there, we will also remember how much we were honored there.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The women’s gathering went well and was better attended than in the previous few months. The small island was able to have a memorial gathering (with representatives from the other two islands as well) for the two workers who had died. It sounds like it was an encouraging time of sharing memories and testimonies. Our teammate’s first days doing an internship at the hospital were mainly just waiting for paperwork, but she did get to meet the people she will be working with and they seemed excited to welcome her.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The new moon was not seen last night, so it is sure to be seen tonight, meaning fasting will begin on the islands tomorrow (Tuesday). Please be praying for this special month, which is full of unique challenges and opportunities to share truth. If you are interested in a website or emails with ways to pray during the month of fasting, let us know.  A date has been picked for potentially doing a big group meeting during the month of fasting, but no details have been figured out and it is unclear who will step up from the different smaller groups to help organize it. Pray that whatever plans come together that it would encourage unity. Tom’s regular study partner, Muki, has traveled to the big island for a few weeks and hopes to connect with one of our worker friends. Pray that he’d hear the good news again from this fresh source and be impacted by it. Pray that he would share the things he has been learning with Tom with his family there on the big island. Cholera cases continue to be popping up on the islands and are now on Clove Island and the small island as well (originally it was only on the big island)— pray that people would take sanitation precautions seriously and that the number of cases would decrease and stop soon. Pray for our two older kids at boarding school as they enter the last two weeks of their term—  they have a number of tests and projects and our son will be in the jr high play this weekend. Pray that they would get enough rest and have peace in the midst of heavy workloads and stress.

Loss and Regret

 Idadi was my neighbor.  Every day as I left the house I would see him, sitting on the stairs that lead up to his office.  He rarely actually went in his office.  Mostly he sat on the stairs.  I would wave and we would exchange greetings.  Sometimes I’d go over and sit with him.  He liked to tell me about how he used to travel.  All the places he would go—China, Dubai, India, etc.  He had been a big business man once.  But now he didn’t do that much any more.  He mostly stayed outside his office, sitting on the steps.

And then one day a few weeks ago, he wasn’t there.  He died suddenly.  His brother says he was sitting in his chair looking at his tablet one moment and the next moment he had slumped to the floor.  A doctor was called, CPR was tried, but it was too late.  They don’t do post-mortem exams here, but the assumption is that he had a massive heart attack and died.  We learned he was probably in his fifties/sixties, we thought he was younger.  It was not expected.

I was surprised to see how many people showed up at Idadi’s funeral.  The place was packed.  When I went to a secondary event which is usually less heavily attended, I was again surprised to see hundreds of people come.  His brother told me later that they had expected about 500 people to come and instead had 1000.  They had to run out and get more water for all the guests.  A week after that I sat with one of my friends and he told me the sad story of Idadi’s life.  

Coffin loaded on a truck

Idadi had been a well known man, an entrepreneur.  He had started businesses and then handed them off or sold them to others.  He had had his hands in all sorts of things.  He was a rich man, building a big house up the hill (where the rich people build their rich houses).  But one day, about ten years ago, it all crashed.  His business deals went bad (my friend was hazy on the details).  He went broke.  The bank repossessed his grand home and he went to live with his in-laws, a broken man.  After that his life was spent going from his home to his office, sitting on those steps, not doing much of anything anymore.  Everyone said, he wasn’t the same person after that. The loss had touched him mentally. He was a broken man.   I had never heard this story before.

Idadi's funeral procession

Idadi never shared his story with me, but perhaps I never asked the right questions.  I never shared the good news with Idadi.  I don’t really know why.  It just never seemed like the opportunity arose (and it’s not usually too hard for opportunities to arise here).  For whatever reason, I never shared with him.  Idadi was a broken man.  His heart failed him in the end, but perhaps it had already failed him many years before.  And now I look back with regret.  We carry in us words of life.  Healing for broken hearts.  Hope for those who have lost it.  But I never shared that hope with him.  I just assumed he wasn’t interested and it never came up.  He seemed content.  There are plenty of guys here who spend their days in front of their shop watching the world go by.  I thought Idadi was one of those.  But maybe that’s just because I don’t know their stories.  Perhaps each of them has a similar history of loss, grief and brokenness.  I don’t know.  But perhaps what I take for contentment is actually a mask—like it was for Idadi.  Perhaps Idadi would have turned a deaf ear to the good news I wish I had shared with him, or perhaps not.  I will never know.

I take solace in two things.  One is that, Idadi was a neighbor.  He saw us everyday.  He saw us interact with others—we are vessels of hope and life, temples of the Spirit—perhaps it kindled a flame in his heart.  Idadi also traveled a good deal at one time in his life.  He may have heard the good news in his travels.  Maybe, before the end of his life, he may have thought about the truth that he heard.  I may be grasping at straws, but there was mercy for a thief on a cross, perhaps there is some for Idadi too.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Over the last few weeks we have been a part of many funeral events related to Idadi’s death.  This has been a chance for us to draw closer and show our love to our neighbors.  Our daughter had her choir tour— it was tiring, but overall a positive experience. We had another set of visitors (this time workers from the French island). It was great to meet them and get to know them. One of them was ill and we’re thankful that an island friend and doctor was able to see her, and that she left feeling better. We have been having some rain that has helped to break up the heat.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our guests from the French Island have reminded us how difficult things have been there. For over a month, the whole island has been shut down by protests and violence and blockaded roads. Pray for a way forward towards stability for that island. Pray for the brothers and sisters on the small island as they try to decide what to do to remember the two workers who had invested years there who recently died. There is just one full week before the month of fasting begins on the islands— pray that we could be thoughtful and prayerful in preparation for that time. Pray also as we talk with others about when and how to do a larger gathering in that time. Pray for our teammate as she begins an internship at the hospital as she considers doing occupational therapy (she is trained in that, but has been teaching English here so far). The women will gather for their monthly study this week— pray that it would be encouraging and challenging and that those who haven’t attended the past few times would be able to come.