A Good Bunch

There’s always a bit of milling about after English club ends.  People have questions, want to borrow books, or just talk a little bit.  As we were saying goodbyes, we were all joking with each other—all good friends, with us and with each other.  This recent club group has been a special joy.  They have a camaraderie, gentleness and kindness that make them stand out.  We wish you could get to know some of the regulars.

An English Club meeting at our house

Moro has become something of a leader of the group.  Moro is 26 years old, always well dressed, but not ostentatious.  He has a wide smile and a friendly demeanor that help him to make people feel at ease, the sort of person you would love to have as a tour guide or host.  He loves to tell the story about how when he first came to English club he could barely speak.  Now he is an English teacher and one of the most vocal at English club, encouraging others to come and participate.

Swafu is in highschool but he seems to have a self-awareness about himself not common to highschoolers.  He loves to joke and is not afraid to laugh at himself.  He is tall, but still has a boyish face, usually with smile, quick to laugh and make jokes—even in English—harder to do in a foreign language. He helps to lighten up the club.

Three old regulars at an event using their English

Bako is our resident statesman.  His features more chiseled and less inclined to smile, he has been around the longest and he knows it.  He speaks with pomp and eloquence, slowly and deliberately, in his deep, rich voice.  He sees himself like a benevolent older brother or uncle.  He often leads the English club, and though his creativity is not impressive, everyone accepts and respects him as an elder.  He is a dependable, old friend.  When a smile does break out across his face, it’s like a great fissure that transforms his countenance and is quite endearing. Thankfully, English club often draws out such smiles.

Sabila is petite, light skinned, and conservatively dressed.  Another highschool student who shows a maturity beyond her age.  Verbally she is smart and clever and strong, ready to defend her positions and not take any guff, but her eyes are soft and she is clearly a thoughtful, caring person who desires to do what is right.

These are just a few of the ones who make English Club a joy right now.  We have been leading a weekly English Club at our house for over ten years.  We never know what kind of people will come.  There was a time when we had some of the strongest English speakers around—a bunch of proud and showy men who made conversation interesting but not so friendly.  Other times we’ve had people of lower levers of competency, resulting in a lot of shy, labored conversations, more games, and one or two dominant players.  Our club has ballooned at times to 25 or 30 people and shrunk down at other times to just 3 or 4.  It has a tendency to be mostly men, but there have been seasons when women have equalled them in numbers, and we always seem to have a couple women who come consistently, unafraid to stand up and say their piece in front of the men.

Family time this past week

With a majority of them, we see our conversations go deeper and our friendships strengthen over time.  Many of the ones who no longer come we still regard as good friends.  The majority have shared with us at one time or another their struggles, their dreams, their questions, their faith.  This is certainly true of the 4 listed above.  Tom has had many discussions with Moro on the subject of kingdom life.  Swafu has expressed interest in studying one day, when he’s not so busy.  Bako has allowed us to pray for his children on many occasions and has faithfully prayed for Megan’s health concerns in return.  Sabila has asked us about what we believe, and has noted the difference in our lives and our marriage.

We have been away this month and have taken a break from English Club until September.  Such breaks usually result in the group of club regulars shifting.  We will see if these four will continue to come faithfully.  We hope they do.  But even if they don’t, we are thankful for them and look forward to seeing what God will do in their lives.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We had a good week as a family, getting all the school shopping done and having fun together. The orientation day at the kids’ school was full and reassuring, though the final goodbye was hard. We’re thankful for all the great staff at the school and how intentionally they look after the kids in their care. Praise that the island brothers and sisters have really rallied behind the big island brother that had the accident hurting his back, raising a lot of support to for his medical needs.  Moreover, his family who have been hostile towards him have warmed towards helping him and advocating for him before their village. Praise for opportunities the medical team has been having to share good news with coworkers.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Continue to pray for the island brother with the hurt back. He needs to travel to get an MRI and specialist advice/care. Some of his symptoms are concerning. They are working on renewing his passport and making arrangements. Pray for healing!  Pray that he would continue to have peace and a voice for truth into his community during this trial and for the logistics to come together for him to travel.  Pray for our children at boarding school as they transition to life there, making new friends, finding healthy routines, and learning from loving adults.  Pray for the three of us as we return to Clove Island as a family of 3 and all the change that will be for us. Continue to prayer for Megan’s continuing recovery from back surgery, that pain would continue to diminish and go away.

It’s Different with Two

Every once and awhile we are asked by new parents (or soon-to-be parents) about our transition to parenthood. And inevitably, we’ll admit that the bigger transition for us came when we had two kids, not one. Of course, the difference between being a parent and not was momentous and changed our lives greatly. But there was a lot about our day-to-day life that we kept doing with our eldest. She was an easy-going baby and we just dragged her along with how we normally did things.

Back in 2010, adjusting to two kids!

But once we had our second child, we realized we were going to have to rethink things. We couldn’t just drag two kids along and keep doing life like we did before. Sometimes we would have to divide and conquer or just make different choices. Somehow the life change felt bigger going from 1 to 2, rather than from 0 to 1.

Thirteen years have passed and we are facing another big change. Again you might have thought that the bigger change already happened last year when our oldest went to boarding school for the first time. And admittedly that was big and we have had to learn a lot in the last year. But still having two kids left at home meant the kids still outnumbered us, we still always had sibling dynamics in our household.

Our oldest two now in 2023

This year our second-born goes to boarding school, joining his older sister there.  So now our youngest will suddenly be an only child. Suddenly, we’ll have more kids out of the house than in the house. With two gone, it feels like a bigger shift for our lives, for our family.

With two kids home, we basically just kept the same family rhythms that we did with three kids at home. But now with just one, we’re realizing that we are going to have to rethink things. We’ll probably need to reconfigure household chores.  I’ll need to rethink how much I make for meals. We may need to come up with different routines. We’ll need to be aware that our youngest will need more of our time as he won’t have a sibling to play with or bounce ideas off of. It’s going to feel quite different.

We just marked 20 years of marriage this past week, and in those years there have been lots of transitions and big life changes. But after reflecting on the different changes, it is comforting to know that each one has its good parts. So even as we face a new change with all the accompanying grieving and adjustment, we can have peace that there will be wonderful new blessings that will come with this change. We may have to rethink things, but we’re excited to see our older son grow as he experiences independence, makes friends, and learns more about himself through the variety of unique experiences that boarding school will offer that he couldn’t have had on the islands. We’re excited to see how our relationship with our younger son may deepen and how being the only kid at home might encourage him to grow and develop in new ways. We look forward to seeing how our daughter’s plans to look out for her younger brother at school might strengthen their relationship and lead to both of them thriving more there.

Anniversary dinner. 20 years!

It’s going to be different and in some ways harder with two gone, but we endeavoring not to begrudge the change and to be thankful for all that it will bring.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The time doing safari with Tom’s family went very well. They saw tons of animals and had a great time. Tom’s family made it safely back to the US. Our son’s tummy didn’t continue to bother him. Megan’s surgical wound is healing nicely. We had the chance to visit our kids’ school and meet his dorm parents and see his future dorm. It was nice to help imagine more what his life will be like. Our teammate has said her goodbyes and made it safely to the big island. We celebrated 20 years of marriage! It has been a good 20 years. Several workers on the islands have had health issues lately, but with prayer have seen God provide recovery and healing.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We say goodbye to our two oldest on Friday afternoon. Pray that we could have a great time as a family this week. Pray that all of us would transition well to this new chapter. Pray for a smooth adjustment to boarding school. Continue to pray for Megan’s recovery, that the pain she’s had post-surgery would diminish and go away completely. An island brother on the big island had an accident this week that left him temporarily paralyzed. He has recovered feeling and some movement. Pray with us for his complete healing! One of our teammate’s house helpers has been studying the truth and appears to have had a breakthrough. Pray that she would be willing to be connected with island sisters and share with others what she is learning.

Is This the Awaited Healing?

 If you are reading this blog post, you are probably somewhat aware of the journey my family has been on with my back.

Waiting in hospital Thurs to start pre-op prep

It has been a long journey, over 10 years long. I have written other blogs about it, talking about the lessons that pain and limited ability have taught me (here’s our first entire blog on it from 2014). It has been humbling. I have always known that healing was possible and that God is able to do the miraculous. I have always readily accepted whenever anyone offered or suggested that they pray for healing for my back.

Yet over the years, immediate healing was never something that I felt pulled to pray for or to seek with urgency. Then sometime this past year, there was a change. I felt led to pray consistently for healing. So I prayed everyday and I asked the family to pray everyday. I started to see some consistent improvement and I started to wonder if God wanted to bring about healing through the persistence and slowness of trust.

Then there was a setback in February. It began with me doing something I shouldn’t. I know my back limitations and I pushed them, not because I felt like I was healed and freed to push, but because of misplaced senses of pride and relational obligation. Now, I have had many setbacks over the years, and I know the steps I take to recover. It takes time, patience and stopping normal activities. But this was different. I wasn’t improving as expected. Things got worse.

I continued to pray each day for healing, and now the thought appeared, ‘maybe I need to get worse in order to get better’. There were two accompanying possibilities. Perhaps God wanted to show His power by providing miraculous healing when it would be obvious that it was His hand doing the work, or maybe He was opening up the way to surgery.

No one wants to jump to surgery, but we have considered it more than once over the years and even talked to surgeons. But every time I started recovering from my setbacks and surgeons never wanted to do surgery if I was able to improve by other means. It didn’t seem to matter that I never fully healed, they only wanted to do surgery if pain was intense and wasn’t improving with physical therapy and medication.

Post-op meds

So even as it hasn’t been fun for the past few months, there was something strangely reassuring in the fact that I wasn’t improving. We believe all healing is a gift of God, so first we took some time to pray to make sure that God didn’t want to provide that healing without surgery, but even as we had lots of people pray, no one came telling us that they thought surgery wasn’t the way forward and even some came to us surprised that they hadn’t felt led to pray for immediate healing.

We felt a peace about coming here to mainland Africa and pursuing surgery. I had surgery on Thursday and have been resting and recovering. I am already in less pain than before surgery. So I find myself asking, “Is this it, Lord? Is this the awaited healing or will the journey continue?”

I will meet with the surgeon tomorrow to hear his thoughts on my longterm post-surgery recovery, but I have read some general recovery descriptions for this type of surgery and it talks about people eventually resuming activities with almost no restrictions (even contact sports and lifting things). After 10 years of significant restrictions, I am a little lost in that possibility and am pretty sure I would have a hard time trusting such freedom.

Our oldest is 15 years old and says she can’t really remember me not having a bad back. Could this be the beginning of a new chapter? I’m hopeful, but I also am confident that God will continue to walk with us and teach us along the way, through both pain and healing. Thanks for praying and walking with us.

Tom and family visiting island

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We all made it to Kenya safely. Megan’s surgery went well without complications. She had people and lots of prayer around her. Our island sister has not been afraid despite news of increased scrutiny. The seminar on marriage went well. The brothers in a far village had a visit from others to encourage them and pray for them. It sounds like there are some women joining their numbers, too. Tom’s family’s visit to the islands finished well.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for good health and healing. Pray that Megan’s recovery would continue and that this might be a new chapter of renewed strength and ability. Pray for the remainder of Tom’s family’s time here in Africa, enjoying safari. Pray for good health, our youngest son had some tummy troubles. Pray for our teammate as she says goodbye this week to the rest of the team and to her island neighbors and friends of 5+ years. Pray for our island brothers and sisters that they would not become weary, but would persevere with joy in the midst of challenges and breakthroughs. 

Having People Visit

 It’s different actually seeing a place in person. Reading about it and seeing pictures may allow you to imagine it, but actually being there allows you to register the smells in the air, the feel of the humidity, the cadence of people’s greetings. It makes it real in a new way.

Arriving at the airport

We don’t get a lot of visitors, and for good reason. The islands are hard and expensive to get to. We have had several people excited to visit us because they already had plans to be in mainland Africa and were hopeful that they could just tack on a few days and see us on the islands. But then they realize the ticket price and all the travel time needed to get to us on Clove Island and they realize it isn’t so easy.

If they do make it all the way to Clove Island, the question then is, what do we show them? Tom’s parents and aunt are here with us for 1 week. How should we fill that week? Should we focus on giving them a taste of our normal life, full with team meetings, visiting with neighbors, and day-off routines. Or should we go for special outings, heading for the farther flung sites that we like to visit on special occasions? We could fill a whole week with these outings.

Three generations going to a wedding

Should we focus on the natural beauty of the island and show them beaches, rivers, waterfalls, and green hilltops? Or should we go for the personal connection and focus on meeting the island friends and neighbors whom we have come to love and our teammates with whom we share so much of our life? What will be the most meaningful to our visitors in the long run?

With some of our early visitors to Clove Island, we didn’t have as many options. Back then, we hadn’t learned about all the cool and beautiful spots, and we didn’t know as many people either. We may have even wondered what to do with visitors. But after 10 years in the same place, we find it hard to limit to just a week’s worth, but it is important to limit. We don’t want to exhaust our guests and we know that just being in a hotter climate and surrounded by people speaking a different language can be tiring.

Ultimately, we’ll go for a taste of different things, maybe one river spot, one wedding event, a little visiting, one short hike. We can’t do it all, but we can leave them with a much better sense of our lives than they had.

We don’t get a lot of visitors, but those that do come will understand our stories better, will be able to read between the lines of some of our requests with better insight and will potentially pray for us and the islands more.

Visiting the river

It makes a difference seeing a place in person! So if you fancy a visit to the islands and aren’t scared off by the travel and price tag, then we’d love to have you! Karibu! Welcome!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Tom’s parent and aunt made it safely to the islands with all their luggage (which is not a small thing these days)! Their first days on the islands have gone well. Thanks for praying. Megan made it safely to the big island today and will travel to Kenya tomorrow. Our son has been feeling better and sleeping better. Women’s gathering went well and more women than normal seemed engaged. Ma Imani has a plan to start studying with her mom and sisters, pray for open hearts and for nothing to prevent their meeting (their first meeting time was canceled last minute).

PRAYERS REQUESTED
This week a local sister was informed that there was meeting at the big gov office, where they talked about new beliefs spreading rapidly and named her as a leader. Her family was warned by a friend at the meeting to be careful. Pray for wisdom and peace for her, her family and the greater group. A seminar on marriage on our island for the brothers and sisters, organized by someone from the small island and with an outside speaker, is planned for this coming week. Pray that it could be a blessing to the group and to their marriages. A group of brothers in a far village have been having challenging conversations and debates about their beliefs, pray that they would have the words to respond well to people’s challenges and questions. Pray for Megan as she meets with the surgeon on Wed. If everything goes according to plan, she should have surgery on Thursday. Pray for a good surgery, without complications, and for peace for her and the family. Tom and the kids won’t be there the day of the surgery but should be able to arrive the following day. Pray for our son as he says goodbye to the team and island and leaves the island for boarding school for the first time.