New Experiences

We’ve spoken before about our good friend Bako.  He’s the serious one, the English teacher who likes to “moralize” to his students by teaching them moral lessons in addition to English.  A few years ago he got married and now he is the father of two little girls—the newest only a few months old.

Celebrating daughter's bday early

Bako, perhaps not surprisingly, is pretty set in his ways.  Though a young man, he acts like an old one.  He sees the world in a certain way and believes there is a clear way to behave in this world—a right way and a wrong way, a way of responsibility and duty and a way of foolishness and carelessness.  There is not a whole lot of grey area with Bako.  He is firmly guided by island tradition and a sense of duty.  He has his way of seeing things and he tries to fit everything into his boxes.  

Yet, Bako is friends with us.  We don’t fit his boxes very well—although he tries his best.  For example, even though we had talked of our difference in faith on numerous occasions and even shared our good news with him, he surprised us one day a few years ago by saying, “Wait, you aren’t of the same faith as me?”  Apparently because we wear traditional clothes on occasion and join in the general celebration of the end of the month of fasting, he had gotten confused.  Bako is not stupid.  Rather he chose to ignore.  We would be much easier to understand this way, so he ignored the evidence that didn’t fit and put us in one of his boxes.  (We just keep trying to break out of them.)

Tom and friend on holiday

Bako has dreams for the future.  He wants to do good things for his country.  He wants to be an important and respected member of society.  He wants to travel.  For years, I have been helping him apply for various training opportunities abroad.  Year after year, he has been refused.  But this year, it finally happened.  He was accepted to a program that would pay to bring him to South Africa for 3 weeks of networking and training with other young African leaders.  When it all happened, it happened quickly, and it showed just how small Bako’s world and his boxes are.

About ten years ago, Bako traveled to Tanzania.  It was a life changing experience he still frequently talks about.  The flights, the big city, the cross-cultural experience—he talks about it in his slightly pompous way, as if he understands world travel.  But now he’s going to South Africa.  This is a much bigger trip, a much bigger experience.  His inexperience came through in a number of different ways—for example, his not realizing that it was his responsibility to work on getting the visa.  But somehow, with a lot of help and encouragement he has made it there.

Welcoming kids on holiday

He is now studying with people from all over Africa.  Different cultures, faiths, backgrounds, rich, poor.  Some of them with much greater experience and skill—some, we are sure, with much more to their resumé than teaching English classes.  We imagine Bako, interacting with them, trying to fit them all nicely into his boxes and hopefully failing.  How many of them don’t fit?  How many of them might be exploding those boxes?  How many of his ideas that he assumes are common knowledge are far from it?  How many opinions he is used to being with the majority is he now finding himself in the minority? How many will he just choose to ignore? Choose to not see? Will he try to place them in his nice little boxes, and come back none the wiser for the experience?  We cannot know until he returns.  But we can hope.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our daughter made it safely back to mainland Africa and her school. She started classes this morning for her last trimester of the school year. We had some nice final days with her with some good talks and fun family time. The big holiday went well on Saturday— we saw lots of people and gave candy to lots of kids. We were able to sit down and catch up with our teammate back after months away— it is a blessing to have her back on the team. There has been continued stories from across the islands of islanders being changed, islanders withstanding persecution and new people hearing good news. God has been moving during this month of fasting— there is much for which to be thankful.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The French Island has begun their campaign to destroy the homes and neighborhoods of the illegal immigrant population and deport them to our island. But the first two boats with deportees have been turned back and we’ve heard that the islands have closed the maritime border so that the French government cannot send people to the islands. Meanwhile on the French Island, there are clashes and protests. We’re not sure how this will play out— but we continue to pray for protection of life and for justice, for light and hope to come to this messy situation. We had a visitor that was supposed to come- she’s a short-term worker on the French Island— but her boat returned to the French Island. Pray for wisdom for her about how to proceed and whether to try again to visit to Clove Island this week. We have a busy few weeks— pray that we would have a good balance of rest, work and family. Pray for our daughter as she readjusts to school and to a new roommate, and also for us as we readjust to having her far away. Pray that all the islanders that showed interest or heard good news during the month of fasting would continue to seek and find in the coming weeks.

You want to Give Me Money?

At first I didn’t think I had heard her right. This is a poor woman, but I thought I heard her say that she wanted to give me money! But then she started to talk about how times are hard and there isn’t a lot of money. She mentioned how she really wants to have a carpenter build a table and chairs for their house. I must have just misheard her. This is the preamble for asking for money, not giving money. She must be asking me for money.

Peeling green bananas to fry

So I checked, “You want to give me money?” “Yes!” she quickly confirmed as she pulled an 100 euro bill from her pocket. She had already paid the carpenter the first part of the money, but she didn’t want to pay him the rest until he finished the work.

You may be wondering right now, “But why is she giving the money to you?”

This is where the the fact that times are hard and there isn’t a lot of extra money around comes into play. She knows that in her house that 100 euros will disappear. There are too many things that people want or even need. Whether it is herself or her family members, someone will use that money. If someone asked her if she had any money, she would have to say ‘yes’ and then the money would be gone. Because of culture and relationship, she couldn’t easily say that she was saving that money for something else.

Our boys on teammate's roof

So this poor woman was giving me 100 euros for safe-keeping.

The islands are still a cash society. Shops don’t accept credit or bank cards and most islanders still don’t have bank accounts.

It can be a real problem, because even islanders inclined to save have trouble holding onto money. I remember coming to the islands and an older worker pointed to all the construction projects. All over the islands were half finished houses in various stages, some just a foundation, some walls with no roof, others just lacking doors and windows. But the curious thing was that there was no active work being done. With some you could even see that moss was collecting or cement bricks were deteriorating. “That is the island bank!” the worker told us.

Most islanders want to build or improve their homes, but they can’t get the money all at once, so as soon as they get a larger sum, they do a bit of building. Even if they have no idea when they will get more money, they may start a foundation or have some cement bricks made. It might seem like the smarter thing would be to wait until they had enough money to complete the entire building project, but the islands are poor and they know that the money can’t sit around as you wait or else it won’t be around when you want it.

From rooftop- can you see some unfinished construction?

It’s possible that just a few years down the road that this could change. I could see it change quickly. There are more banks advertising with ATM’s and bank cards. Perhaps trust in banks will grow to the point that all islanders will start using them. 

But for now, we took our poor friend’s money. We put it in an envelope and wrote her name on it and tucked it someplace safe. For now, I guess we’re her bank!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We continue to enjoy having our daughter home with us and spending time together as a family.  We continue to get lots of great opportunities to share the good news during this month of fasting.  This past week we were invited by some new island friends to break the fast with them and we had a wonderful time.


PRAYERS REQUESTED
There has been a new push among our island family to be more united, work together and pray for one another.  May this desire for greater unity see much fruit.  Our daughter will return to her school in mainland Africa this week.  Unfortunately one of the interisland planes is out for repairs, so she has to leave us a day earlier than expected. Pray for her safe return and for all our hearts as we say goodbye.  The month of fasting will come to an end this weekend.  It ends with the biggest holiday of the year that includes going and greeting all your neighbors and friends. May we be good neighbors, shining brightly during this time of festivity and joy. One of our teammates arrived yesterday after weeks away, another arrives later this week after months away— pray for the transition back into island life and work.  One new island brother has faced scrutiny from his family— pray for him as he as shared with his father that he could stand strong and have a positive impact on his family.

A New Face

We can sometimes be wary of new faces, especially of islanders who tell us stories that we can’t verify or tales of the kinds of things that we want to hear. We have been burned before. Just this past week, some like-minded workers on our island were bitterly disappointed by a good island friend when they found out that he had been lying to them. He had been telling them some very encouraging stories lately, but the bulk of it has proved false. They aren’t sure how far back the lies go or what his exact motivation in lying was— to please people, in hopes of getting money or just trying to impress.

The island sunrise on Sunday morning- He is risen!

This kind of lying is common enough that islanders are usually even more wary of each other than we are. They are used to seeing their fellow islanders lie (especially to foreigners).

A couple days ago I called an island friend because one of her relatives was at my house asking for a loan. He talked about a sick child that he had but also how he’d be able to pay us back at the end of the month.  I wanted advice. She was quick to tell me that he was lying, that he had no work and would never pay anything back.  She told me not to give him anything. We ended up giving him a token, but nothing close to what he was hoping for.

This past weekend we gathered as a large group for a meal. Among the over 60 people there was a new face to us. When it came time for some open sharing, this island man introduced himself. We were surprised to hear that he is a doctor! He looks so young. He told us that he had studied abroad and been transformed by the good news there and had recently come back to the islands and had met one of the expats who had invited him to the gathering.  

Helped prepare salad for 60+

After the doctor sat down, an older island brother stood up. He pointed at the young doctor and said that he knew this man, he’d met him before. He told the story from a few months ago of taking his ailing father to the hospital in the early hours of the morning. It was this young doctor that first met them at the emergency room. Our friend talked about how impressed he was by the younger man’s attentiveness and kindness. He had wondered about this young doctor, finally explaining this unique goodness with the idea that the young doctor was new and so trying to make a good impression with people. But he said that now having heard his story, he knew that the real reason this doctor was different was because he was a brother in the truth. So as this older known man stood up in that crowd of people, he affirmed for the group that this new face among us was a good man, a true brother.

We are reading a book as a team that talks about about how people can seem to have everything together but underneath they can be a mess. It talks about how easy it can be to ignore the warning signs or assume the best. The chapter I’m reading now says that our work is not shaped only by our skills or knowledge or experience or gifts, but by the condition of our hearts. It urged us to to continually remind ourselves of God’s truth, of the good news and let it transform us and shape our hearts.  

We can’t see into people’s hearts. Whether a new face or someone we have known for a while, we can be fooled, but there are moments when their hearts shine through, either as a warning that something isn’t right or as a confirmation that they are the real deal. It wasn’t necessarily this young doctor’s skills in medicine that impressed our friend, it was the glimpse of his heart, a heart transformed and shaped by the good news.  

Our family on Sunday

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We had a wonderful meal last week with over 60 of our brothers and sisters here and their children—lots of food, lots of singing and praise, sharing, prayers, a film- it was a wonderful evening and everything seemed to go pretty smoothly.  Going back to school seemed to go smoothly too—including our new teammates son, who seems to be enjoying his new school and not fearful!  We had a wonderful Holy Week with a number of gathering times for prayer, fellowship, worship, singing, and feasting!  We continue to get lots of opportunities to share good news during this month of fasting.  We continue to enjoy having all our children at home.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for the situation with our like-minded friends and the bitter disappointment they have experienced to discover their good friend was lying to them.  Pray for healing, repentance, forgiveness and hope to abound.  Pray for this new brother and his integration into the larger community.  May there be many more like him.  May he be a light in his own community.  Pray for a big feast being planned on the big island this coming week—may it be a great encouragement to them all.  Pray for our colleagues on the French island whose family was dealing with a case of chicken pox and now the father has badly injured his knee.  Pray he recovers well without needing surgery.  Pray for continued opportunities for studying and good conversations to happen this month and that we could respond with wisdom, gentleness and joy.

Can We Swim?

The month of fasting on the islands includes a lot of do’s and don’ts. It is legalism at its strongest. The most basic rule is that in order for your fasting to ‘count’, islanders cannot eat or drink from sunrise to sunset. But those conversant in legalism know that you can’t end with such a general rule, you need to get specific.

Our new teenager!

One clarification that I have heard is that nothing is allowed to pass by your throat in the daylight hours. So with this expansion of the rule, many islanders believe that one cannot swallow their own saliva, they can’t smoke, they cannot take medication and they cannot vomit without breaking their fast. We have heard an even stricter rule that nothing is allowed to either enter or exit your body (beyond normal trips to the bathroom). We are not sure how fluids exiting the body disqualify you, but apparently if you cry with tears or get a cut that bleeds too much, this negates your fast.

Islanders also don’t swim. Apparently in other countries, people still swim while fasting. They are just careful not to swallow any water so that they don’t break their fast. But on the islands, it seems that it is too risky. We’ve heard people explain that the water will enter somehow through your eyes, nose or mouth. So that combined with the extra need for modesty during the month of fasting means that people don’t really swim.

What does all this legalism mean for us? Well, we try to be respectful. We want to be known as good people, and while we don’t try to pretend that we are bound by the same legalism that islanders are, we also don’t want to be seen as flaunting our non-observance or as tempting people. So we avoid cooking during the day or eating in front of people, because the smells of us cooking or the sight of us eating could be seen as rude or provocative.

When we first came to Clove Island years ago, we swam during the month of fasting. The beach was deserted except for a few people who were trying to hide the fact that they were not conforming to island expectations for the month. Someone smoking. Someone with their girlfriend. No one said anything to us about it, but it was awkward walking home, obviously wet from the beach back past our neighbors. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling, and we had the feeling that some islanders might see us as godless. For islanders, participating in the month of fasting is the bare minimum of following God. They might not practice their faith all the rest of the month, but they at least observe the month of fasting. Even if they cheat, they will give the appearance of observing it. So for islanders to see someone flaunt non-observance, especially if they don’t know us or understand what we believe—it can seem like we are just very lost (meaning they might not visit us or respect things we say in the future).

So we stopped swimming during the month of fasting. It is a sacrifice, but it is only a month.

At our remote swim spot

This year though it felt like a bigger sacrifice. Our daughter is only home for 4 weeks on break from school and all four of those weeks are in the month of fasting. Our son’s birthday was this past week too. And the one activity that the two of them wanted to do was to go swimming. They didn’t ask us to go swim, they just resigned themselves that it was one of those things that we can’t do, sighing and looking unhappy, and struggling to come up with other fun things they wanted to do instead.

Not liking the feeling that we were bound by legalism, we decided to think about it. People know us now. They respect us and see us as good people. A number of people that we’ve known for a long time were genuinely surprised this month to hear that we don’t observe the month of fasting. They just assumed. We clarified for them that we are not bound by those rules, that we find our joy and freedom and acceptance with God in a very different way.

So the question was, is there a way to respect islanders and still go swimming? Our first thought was that our favorite swimming spot is way up, beyond the trash, beyond gangs of island kids, in a spot where we have only seen a few farmers before. Next was that the road to the trail had been improved, so that you can drive a significant portion of the way. So if we borrowed a car, we wouldn’t have to walk past any homes on our way back. 

Hiking back

So we asked our team if it was okay with them, and for our son’s birthday, we went for it. We drove as far as we could. We went in the afternoon, when most islanders would be heading home. By the time we were halfway on the trail, we didn’t see anyone. We had a nice time swimming and even being cold in the refreshing river water. After a bit, Megan and our daughter re-donned their modest wear and we headed back, our kids full of smiles and grateful hugs.

It isn’t always easy to respect and gain respect in a community bound by legalism. We give up a lot  of our freedom for the sake of relationship and for the sake of our witness. There are times when we boldly reject the bonds of legalism for the sake of that same witness and for the sake of the truth. And there are times we slip around the rules for the sake of family and fun without forgetting that there is a witness to protect.

We don’t always get the balance right, but we try.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We have been encouraged by the people that have joined us in praying for the islands during this month of fasting. Our team has had several opportunities to share the good news. May they continue. We had a wonderful week spending time as a family with our daughter home and celebrating our son’s birthday! He turned 13, so we have two wonderful teenagers in our home now. We are so thankful for the way that God has helped him grow in knowledge, maturity and responsibility and we look forward to the coming years watching that process continue.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for a large gathering of the island body this weekend to celebrate the upcoming holiday. Pray that the logistics would not be stressful and that it would be an encouraging and unifying event. Pray for kids as they are back at local school this week— including our new teammates’ son who is going to local island school for the first time. Pray for a smooth transition for him. As we have entered into Holy Week, may we be filled with the joy of freedom, new life and redemption.

(If you are committed to praying regularly for the islands through the month of fasting, then send us an email and we can send you information to help you pray for specific topics and people.)