Short-termer Impact

Tomorrow we will say goodbye to our intern.  Our intern came out 2 months ago for a short-term assignment with us.  He’s a young man in his 20s, from the States, going to college, interested in linguistics and this kind of work.  Having him here has made us reflect on the benefits of having a short-termer around.

Goodbye party for our intern

We prefer short-termers that can stay more than a month, because over that time there is usually some point where life becomes less exciting. It might be brief, but they get a taste of what “normal life” is like here on the islands.  This usually comes with a level of disappointment—realizing that even on a remote tropical island, the adventure eventually wears off.  It often comes with the sense that, they can’t do very much.  They don’t speak much language.  They can’t share with everyone they see all the wonderful things on their heart.  They realize that if they wanted to truly have an impact, the road would be long and hard.  These are important truths that are worth wrestling with.  But at the same time we like to encourage them with a wonderful truth:  they do make an impact.

Someone has said that most short-term trips have the most impact on those who go rather than on the ones they go to.  That is true.  Short-termers are given the opportunity to experience and see things they’ve never seen before.  Their cultural boxes are challenged.  Their ideas about the world and its people are expanded and God uses it mightily to awaken us to the opportunities, the wisdom and the needs of other cultures—and that is an impact that can often be of life changing significance. 

Helping with English Exams

But even as we invest in our short-termers and expand their horizons, we value their impact on our team, on our work and on islanders.  As a team, we greatly enjoyed having a fresh face, with new ideas and insights added into our team.  In practical ways, our intern has helped us with some tasks that needed an extra pair of hands, feet, and eyes on the ground.

Our intern/short-termer possesses a gift that that I think is key for anyone coming out to the islands: flexibility.  We promised him a few important things.  We promised to orient him well and to give him good support—multiple times in the week for checking in, prayer, rest, and study.  But beyond that he had a lot of freedom and could expect the unexpected.  That was certainly the case this summer.  Now we would have preferred to keep our short-termer settled in one place, but our own travels meant, we sent him off to the little island for three weeks, where our island colleagues graciously supported him. There he lived with an island family, experienced the small island’s unique culture, and learned their dialect and accent.  When he came back to us, he definitely had picked up a bit of the little island accent!  Back with us, we quickly sent him off to live with a Clove Island family.  Our short-termer took it all in stride.  One islander remarked, “that guy could live anywhere.” I think that is high praise in this line of work.  Flexibility is key.

When an island family agreed to take in our intern, they were agreeing to let a different sort of person into their house.  He carried with him a light and a love that they had possibly never known or experienced before.  They had almost certainly never had someone like this live so closely with them.  All their preconceived notions about how they thought people like us live, think and act were being challenged.  The experience of having a responsible, kind, loving, faithful young man living among them may change the way they think about people of the light and people of darkness.  And that may have a mighty impact indeed.

Sitting down to dinner at Fakhadi's

But beyond his own relationships with islanders, our intern has also helped to impact our friendships with islanders, by being a catalyst for deepening those relationships.

A couple of days ago, our friend “Fakhadi” (whom we’ve mentioned on the blog before), invited our whole family to his family house as a sort of going away dinner for our intern.  We’ve known Fakhadi for 7 years, but this was the first time he has invited us to his home and given us  the opportunity to meet his extended family.  This was no small thing and something that wouldn’t have happened if our intern hadn’t made friends with him and provided a reason for the invitation.

Now, we have only had a handful of short-termers in our years on the islands. It’s an investment to get them here and to support them properly without knowing exactly what the impact will be. But that is where we trust and celebrate because surely short-termers have an impact on the islands, and the islands will have an impact on them as well.

Could someone you know be our next short-termer???

PRAYERS ANSWERED
One of the men that Tom has been studying with has started to share the stories and things he has been learning with his wife— this is very encouraging. Pray that it would continue so they could seek and study together. We are thankful for the evening with Fakhadi and the chance to get to know his many sisters, nieces and nephews. May it lead to more interactions! Our teammate is on track to leave the UK and be back on the islands by the end of the week- we pray for her travels and are encouraged that her medical check-ups didn’t reveal any new problems. Our short-termer’s final week has gone well and we have been very thankful to have here this summer.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
As we were posting this blog, an island sister was in labor at the hospital. She had been very anxious about this delivery because her sister recently had a traumatic still birth. We just got word that the baby was born, but don’t know yet how it went or if everyone is okay. Pray for health and safety of both mother and baby and quick recovery! Another island sister has recently been confronted about her beliefs by her brother. She invited him to come and talk to her about it and she is still waiting for that visit. She has never had a direct confrontation with her family before— pray for peace, wisdom and the right words for her and for a softening of her family’s hearts (especially this brother). Our organization’s leader for all the islands is in Kenya and will have surgery at the end of the week— pray for a smooth surgery and quick recovery. Pray for our short-termer’s travels back home and that he would be a successful ambassador for the islands and get people praying! Tom is going to start an English teacher training course in a far village— meeting every weekend for the next month- pray for the logistics and that it might be a link to spreading light to that village. Tom is meeting with an island brother tomorrow to study— pray that it would go well as their first meeting a couple weeks ago was a little rough because Tom didn’t know ahead of time that he had a low literacy level. Tom has a new plan for engaging him, so pray that it goes well.

Island Karate

 “Ku-Sho-Dan!” We shout as we stand in the ready position for the first “kata”.  Then, in unison, we move gracefully through a series of steps, punches and blocks.  Next, our teacher pulls out a punching pad and we all line up to punch and kick the pads as hard as we can.  The kids and I are doing karate!  It’s a lot of fun. 

Practicing at home

We’ve been at it for almost two year now. And I think we’re getting pretty good—at least at katas. Our teacher looks on quite pleased.  “Sensei Brucelee” is a wiry, athlete who appears to be made of muscle and rock.  We think he’s in his sixties, but he moves like a much younger man and his passion is karate.  He doesn’t talk a whole lot.  As near as we can tell, he was trained by Japanese visitors with whom he had very little language in common, and so he has learned to teach karate in the same way.  Most of his instruction is wordless, made with gestures and alternating between correct form and incorrect form.  

His “dojo” is a simple room with concrete floors that is used for other purposes and is rarely swept or mopped. All it takes is a little karate and we have “karate feet”! But that doesn’t mean rock-hard feet that can crash through walls, it’s actually the black color the bottoms of our feet get from being barefoot on the dirty floor.  

So it isn’t the ideal context for learning karate. With concrete floors and no mats, we don’t do any take downs or falls. Sensei Brucelee is meagerly supplied with only a few punching pads, but he is so eager to teach what he can. He hasn’t even asked for a cent all these months, he just loves to teach, welcoming to anyone who comes in.

Its funny the things that get popular in a small secluded island nation, but martial arts are actually a pretty popular sport.  I wonder if it is connected to the fact that you really don’t need much in terms of materials.  Go to the beach on a weekend and you’ll probably see someone doing some kind of marital arts move (sand works well in lieu of mats).  I have been surprised to learn just how many of the men I know have, at some point in their life, studied martial arts.  

For example, we’re on the beach at a picnic, and unfortunately no one thought to bring a ball, frisbee, anything.  So I ask if anyone knows karate.  Soon enough I’ve got a couple of guys who have done it before showing me their moves. 

Sensei Brucelee works with our sons

“Go ahead, punch me,” my new found friend says, so I give him a nice easy jab toward the stomach. Before I know it he has flipped me onto my back and I am staring up at the blue sky with sand in my hair.  I’m not used to actually being flipped, since we don’t practice with mats, so I definitely appreciated the soft sand (although it could have been a little softer).

I have another set of friends who have taken to making martial arts videos.  They post them on facebook.  The story line might be thin, and the footage a bit amateur, but the karate looks pretty impressive.

So, we’re not at the “our hands are lethal weapons” or “make a martial arts movie” stage yet, but we’re getting pretty good.  It’s good exercise, helps us to connect with some people, and gets the kids some extra-curricular opportunities (which are few and far between on the islands). We have so much fun that we’ve managed to convince most of our team to join us! 

At the beginning of our karate adventure (end of 2018)

So now, it’s not just the kids, but 5 adults, punching, kicking and yelling “HA” at appropriate moments.  I’m not sure what it will all amount to, but we’re in better shape, more flexible, and maybe slightly more dangerous than we were before.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our daughter was able to go to the big island this weekend to visit one of her best friends and practice some independence (it was her first time traveling alone). She has had a good trip and comes home tomorrow. Our teammate (currently in the UK) was able to get a quick repeat COVID test and was released from quarantine.  The new pair of men Tom is meeting with have had a couple of good meetings, lots of thoughtful answers and good engagement.  May it continue.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
This week there is a big religious holiday on Wednesday. This holiday isn’t celebrated as much on our island as it is in other countries, but pray that it will lead to good conversations and opportunities to share. Tom’s friend Fakhadi plans on taking Tom and our short-termer to visit his family on the holiday and has invited our whole family for dinner over the weekend. Pray that these overtures would lead to a deepening relationship and more opportunities with Fakhadi’s whole family. Pray for our short-termer— he has one more week on our island. Pray that he’d get opportunities to share with those he has gotten close to and that God would be clearly guiding his future. Pray for two our former teammates: first our teammates on the French Island are expecting a son in September and she has been put on bedrest— pray that the rest of the pregnancy would be smooth and that the baby would get into the right position and wait until after 37 weeks to be born. Pray also for our old teammates from our Chad days— one of whom has heard that a mole she had had removed is melanoma— pray for peace and healing as they wait to learn what stage it is and what the treatment will look like.

The Underlying Why

 “I learned how to be annoying!,” our youngest told me proudly with a mischievous smile on his face. 

Our son contemplating whys? Or looking for dolphins?

“You just keep asking questions, like ‘why, why, why’!” he explained.

While I expressed my disapproval of intentionally annoying people, I couldn’t help but agree that the question ‘why?’ can push buttons.

Why-questions can be frustrating and problematic because we don’t always know the answer. Or sometimes there is an answer, but the answer is so complex that it actually distracts from what is important. So sometimes our answer to a why-question is an exasperated, “Because that’s how it is!” or “Because I said so!” or “Just because!”….While not fulfilling answers, sometimes we encounter realities that we just have to accept and move on. Like our English students, who ask, “Why are rough, through, though and cough all spelled the same but pronounced differently?” There may be an answer to this question that explores the sociolinguistic history of these words, but ultimately the answer will not help a beginner English student— better that they just learn how to say them and move on.

We can do lots of things without knowing why. The who/what/when/where/how are often concrete realities, but the why is often more abstract. Someone doesn’t necessarily need to know why in order to do things. But sometimes we don’t know the answer to the why-question and we should.

The why can provide meaning and purpose to actions. Empty rituals can be transformed into powerful reminders if people know the ‘why’ behind them. Tasks that were once done begrudgingly can be done with a new motivation if people understand why they need to be done. Sometimes we wonder why the faith and values of the parents aren’t passed down to the children.  Sometimes this is because all the children learn are the forms and traditions and they never learn the ‘why’ that can make those forms and traditions beautiful.

Kids playing during women's gathering

The other thing I’ve learned lately is that while we may not know the underlying why’s, our minds love to supply theories. We observe the who/what/when/where and our minds supply the possible motivations and reasons behind what we are witnessing. Then depending on the why-answer our reactions to things changes. For example if someone is unusually quiet in a meeting— our mind could come up with lots of explanations of ‘why’… they were quietly fuming and withdrawing from the conversation, … they were distracted with something going on with them personally, … they were daydreaming and not engaged. Depending on the ‘why’ that our minds latch on to, we might react with annoyance, hostility or compassion.

The islands are having a bunch of shortages right now. People have different theories as to why— COVID, incompetence, corruption, greed, the government. Some answers allow people to just accept things and move on, other answers stir up unrest and could motivate people to action. The why-answer is powerful in that way. An unclear or mistrusted why-answer leads to controversy, conspiracy theories and conflict. While a trusted why-answer can bring peace, purpose or motivation.

Our need to know the underlying why has a lot to do with trust too. If you trust someone, you don’t need to know the ‘why’ of everything they do. If we trust someone, then we can accept their why-answer without our minds exploring all the different possibilities. Trust can help us to move on from the frustrating and problematic ‘why’.

Personally I love to explore the whys. I’m also often challenged to be clear on my own whys. Am I just making choices and acting without a thoughtful ‘why’? Could my actions be made more powerful and meaningful for myself and others if I was intentional about the ‘why’ and shared it with others?

Megan & a new bride

Whether we are trying to infuse new meaning into an old island tradition, or we are trying to control our gut-reaction to our teammate’s unexplained action, or we are encouraging island brothers and sisters to be intentional with their kids, or we are exploring our own daily habits, we  have been exploring the underlying whys around us and celebrating the depth it can provide.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Tom has two new opportunities to study with interested islanders on a weekly basis. Pray that these new opportunities would be fruitful. One of the men found another island man to join the study. The other man didn’t bring anyone else to the first study, but he is also not very literate which will challenge Tom to adapt how he usually studies. Newly translated and printed picture books are being used with kids in families of island brothers and sisters to share with their children in their own language! This is an exciting development. There are a monthly women’s gathering this week (this month at our house). It was a nice time studying about prayer and hopefully was an encouragement to all those who attended.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
One of our island sisters is pregnant and has come to Clove Island for the birth so she can have the support of her adopted mom— her own sister had a traumatic still birth not too long ago which has made her very anxious about her own pregnancy and delivery. Pray for peace for her and a safe, easy delivery. Our teammate at home in the UK for a health check was disappointed to hear that the COVID test that would get her out of quarantine was botched— many more days isolated while she retakes the test and awaits results. Pray for a quick turn-around so she can get all the visits done that she had planned.

Third Culture Kids

“Where are the kids?”
“They’re downstairs playing with the neighbor kids."

Kids with neighbor friends

“Where are the kids?”
“They’re downstairs playing with the kids who live in the apartment building.”

“Where are the kids?”
“They’re downstairs playing with the other kids.”

Sometimes it is tempting to think about all the things we have given up by coming to live on the islands—all the opportunities for family, fun, and fellowship—and regret their loss.  It can be especially tempting to feel this way about our children.  There are so many opportunities to play sports and pursue passions in the US.  There is a summer camp for every sort of interest—boys camp, girls camp, sports camp, space camp, dinosaur camp, etc.  Our kids miss out on that.  And sometimes we feel sorry for them and for ourselves. 

Friends made at big island conference

But there are other times when we are given a glimpses of the benefits.  For all the things we’ve had to give up, there are things they have gained.  I think we’ve written before about how blessed we feel to know that our children have experienced the diversity of multiple cultures, the tremendous gift to be able to grow up speaking more than one language, and the empathy and understanding they are able to feel for people who are different.  But this month we were struck by another strength this life has taught them.  Indulge us for a moment as we brag on our kids:

This past month we were in Kenya.  We rented an AirBnB for most of our time there.  The apartment building had lots of kids—Kenyan kids—playing around outside.  After a few days, our kids were playing with them.

We went to a meeting on the big island and there was a family of 5 kids, whom our kids had only briefly met years ago.  Yet all of them were fast friends and kept each other occupied through the whole weekend.

Back at home now on Clove Island, there are kids in our apartment block visiting from France for the summer.  Our kids are downstairs playing with both them and the neighbor kids (whom they call their best friends).

Friend made on a weekend visit

I know kids make friends easily.  I know some of this is dependent on personality.  I know there are some kids who could make friends with anyone anywhere, but I was not that kind of kid.  I was intimidated by other kids of the same culture, and I’m convinced I would have been even more intimidated by kids of a different culture.  I don’t see my kids as especially outgoing.  I think this is a skill that they have developed living on the islands.  They have learned to make friends across cultures.  They are less intimidated by different languages, clothes or accents.  They pick up on the local games and they share games of their own.  In short, they are more adept at navigating across different cultures.

Kids are always growing and changing.  Whether they will always be as comfortable moving among different cultures as they are now is an unknown.  But I’m convinced the lessons they are learning today will be a benefit to them as they grow.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our teammate made it safely to the UK.  She has a lot to do while she is there.  Pray that all her appointments and things will be able to happen.  Our short-termer seems to be having a good time in the island home where he is staying and making good connections with the family.  We are quickly getting back into our normal day rhythms, which includes classes, team days and picnics.  Tom was at a picnic yesterday and on three separate occasions got to share about the Kingdom. Since getting back, we’ve heard several encouraging stories of islanders sharing with other or studying and growing together.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
An old friend who Tom studied with ages ago recently came around asking to set up a time to study again.  A few days after that another man came by who also wants to study.  Pray for all the logistics of these opportunities to work out.  We prefer not to study with one person, but in small groups, so pray that these men would be able to find others with whom to study.  Our house-helper’s pregnancy has advanced to the stage where she is no longer able to work.  Pray for her health and the health of her baby and that we would figure out what to do in the meantime.  Continue to pray for peace, justice and stability on these islands.  A recent tax increase on all imports is making life more difficult for everyone and there are shortages on some staple supplies. Across Africa we are hearing reports of third waves of COVID, pray for mercy on these countries and had the islands could be spared.