Proper Social Behavior

 My friend Muki knows many people but has few friends.  He has 14 children, but none who take care of him.  Many of them he is not on speaking terms with.  I don’t know how it came to be like this.  I have not heard most the stories.  I don’t know what he did, but I know he has had a hard life.  His education is minimal.  He is barely literate.  It’s fair to say that he has never moved in the circles of “polite society” and he doesn’t know what is proper and correct.  I believe he misses—or stopped caring about—social cues a long time ago.

View of the mountain from downtown

For me, Muki is a poor, old man who comes to my house to study.  Often times he says he hasn’t eaten anything that day.  I feed him and we study and often he is the one that says to me, “Let’s study.”  Most days at the end of the study he asks for something—some food, some medicine, taxi fare.  He never asks for large amounts, but it is rare for him to leave my house without asking for something, and often there are two or three requests.  

After nearly two years of study, I still wonder where his heart really is.  Some days it seems like he understands the good news so clearly.  Other days it sounds like he is just parroting back to me things he thinks I will like.  Still other days, it seems like he hasn’t understood anything at all.  On the other hand, he brought Mtsa to my house and I’ve watched Mtsa grow continually.  Muki also brings his family members by and is often happy to engage them in our study time.  If someone shows up while we are studying, Muki is happy to invite them to study with us and will share openly about how much he loves the things we study, how they are important and true and will change your life.  He tends to go on and on—hardly giving the other person a chance to respond.  Often I have to interrupt him so that the visitor can speak.

Last month I took him and Mtsa to a gathering of others who study.  The group was not very large—perhaps 8 in total.  We studied and sang and prayed.  This was their first introduction to the group.  I was keen for them to make a good first impression.  Mtsa conducted himself as you might respect.  A bit shy, but respectful, eager to listen to others and learn from them.  But Muki was Muki…

He had plenty to say.  Although a lot of it was rather unspecific.  It’s a problem I often face with Muki. “This is an important story.  I’ve learned so much from it.  I need to obey it and live my life like it says,” he’ll say.  

Playing games at English Club

Of course, you can say that about any story.  So I’m always trying to challenge him to engage with the specific story.  “What does THIS story say?  How specifically can we obey.”  Sometimes it works.  But sometimes it doesn’t.  

At the meeting it didn’t—just general platitudes about being a good person and helping others—followed up with an announcement that he knows everything really well because he’s been studying for two years.  He knows it all.  If that wasn’t bad enough he had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom 3 times, and was constantly looking at his watch.  When it came to prayer time, he was quick to offer his prayer request for certain material needs, but he didn’t seem to listen to the other prayer requests, glancing frequently at his watch.  When the meeting was over, there remained 4 plastic bottles of water.  The host had provided everyone with one at the beginning of the meeting.  Muki went over and grabbed all four remaining bottles to take home with him.  The host laughed awkwardly.  Mtsa shook his head.  Muki seemed oblivious or simply didn’t care—perhaps he saw it as his right.

So much for a good first impression.  And yet, I’m not really surprised.  But I struggle to know what it all means.  None of these things were very serious.  I know a lack of social skills and social graces will not keep us from heaven.  At the same time, does it reveal something more about Muki’s heart?  Who can know a man’s heart?  Perhaps the problem isn’t Muki.  Perhaps it’s me.  Embarrassed by his ways, I feel my own reputation pulled down a bit— a slight blow to my pride.   But Muki keeps coming to study, and we keep talking.  And love covers over a multitude of sins…and social missteps.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Ma Imani is feeling better— thanks for praying for her health. We got to livestream the end of term concert from our kids’ school in mainland Kenya— we are thankful for these points of connection. We have been able to get through most of our to-do list going into travels later this week. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray that Muki’s heart would be changed and that the things he has studied would stick and lead to changed behaviors and attitudes. Hashiri continues to study with Megan, but the stories are challenging her long-held ideas. Pray for her as she wrestles with what is true. We are traveling this week to meet up with Megan’s parents and brother for some vacation. Pray that the travels would go smoothly with no lost luggage or missed connections and that everyone would stay healthy throughout the trip. Continue to pray for our colleague from the small island as she recovers and heals on medical leave— pray for complete healing and for wisdom on how to recover well. Pray for the family from the medical team as they continue to process, recover, and plan their next steps.