Understanding

In our son’s homeschool, we have been studying the history of astronomy. Some great thinkers of the past looked at the night sky and tried to find explanations for why things moved like they do. Elaborate explanations and models were made. Some of them were able to predict a lot of the astronomical events correctly, but then they’d find that one thing was off. There was some star or planet’s movement that wasn’t explained with their current model. This was because one of their conclusions was wrong (for example, thinking the earth was the center of the universe) or missing a key piece of information (that heavenly bodies often move in ellipses instead of perfect circles). Until the wrong idea was corrected or the new idea accepted, the calculations wouldn’t fall into place. 

Afternoon sky over the islands (see the bats?)

Another example of this:  Our son has a 3D puzzle that has to be put together in a certain order. He’s memorized how to do it, and enjoys seeing people struggle to figure it out. The key is that if you don’t get two pieces into their proper places first, the rest will never fit together. Those early astronomers need some key ideas in place before they’d be able to understand the rest. 

This applies to people too.  People are complicated. Sometimes we see their actions and decisions and wonder what they are thinking! Our brains fill in possible motives and explanations for why people do what they do, but we can be wrong. We can create a narrative that explains the events, but it may not be right. 

Our island friend has been complaining about her family and how their actions towards her have been seemingly mean and inexplicably antagonistic. They are mad that she is studying English. They don’t want her to go to the doctor to follow-up on some medical concerns. They are upset  about her planting flowers around the house. It paints a picture of a really unloving, unkind, unreasonable and erratic family life. Our friend said she was clueless as to why her family is always bothering her. She isn’t good at reading people.  All she could think was that they didn’t love her and/or were jealous. But just this week, we finally learned the missing piece of the puzzle that helped the tableau all fall into place. 

Our friend’s family want her to get a job. She graduated from the local university awhile ago. She has left and/or refused a few jobs in the past that were not to her liking. This is in a place where most people are poor and jobs are scarce. To put it simply, they are tired of her being a financial drain on the family without contributing anything. That’s why they got upset when she decide to start taking English classes (which cost money). That’s why her going to the doctor again (money) rubs them wrong. That’s why her spending lots of time gardening (and not looking for a job) is a source of conflict. This was the missing piece of information that has helped us understand her family dynamic. Suddenly their reactions don’t seem so unreasonable or incomprehensible.  We may not condone their petty ways of showing irritation, but we can understand where they are coming from and why they are so frustrated. 

Son's 3D puzzle

We (Tom & Megan) are very thankful that we have each other— because sometimes we don’t understand people and it can be easy to make assumptions and judgments about their motives and/or priorities. In our better moments, we remember to challenge one another and imagine what missing pieces there might be that could explain or make reasonable that which seems initially unreasonable. 

Sometimes the needed insight only comes after a hard conversation, where we speak and act based upon wrong assumptions, only to receive information that reframes our understanding of the situation.  But we often need each other to help process and get a new perspective. We need to realize where we are filling in gaps of information with our own narrative and be able to realize that we could be wrong. Ultimately, we need to give people the benefit of the doubt, learn to ask questions and listen to the answers.

Astronomers went thousands of years embracing wrong ideas that frustrated any progress to truly understanding what was going on. We pray that we will be quicker than that at realizing our mistakes.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We’re thankful for a nice visit with people from our organization’s regional office.  We are thankful to hear that a new leader of the Coast Guard has been chosen which we hope will help the boat business get approvals and paper work more easily.  We have a new sister who got dunked over the weekend.  We’re excited to hear that her two adolescent children are happy for her and hope to go get dunked some day too.  We’re thankful that in the midst of crisis we have lots of great people whom we work with, who are quick to listen and not jump to conclusions.  We wouldn’t be able to endure these things without their support.  We’re thankful for the One who carries our burdens.


PRAYERS REQUESTED
It has been a difficult couple of weeks dealing with a couple of crises that have resulted in two families leaving the islands, one from the little island and one from our Clove island.  This has resulted in a lot of work, emotional stress, and sadness.  Pray for the colleague who is out of hospital but waiting for further test results.  Pray that she would be healthy and that she and her family would be able to return.  Pray for healing and safe travels for the other family as they leave.   Pray for the boat business to get paperwork and approvals more easily, for good personnel—especially experienced boat captains and mechanics, and especially people with these skills who have a heart for the kingdom.  It’s been difficult meeting with Muki and Mtsa lately because of scheduling and unforseen changes to plans.  Pray that we could get back into good rhythms of study and for them to be sharing with their family.  Pray for our daughter who is struggling with an arthritis flare up this week. Pray for our son who has a drama performance coming up this weekend. Pray for the island women as they gather this week to study and potentially to discuss plans for how to celebrate the holidays as a group. Our water situation hasn’t been great lately, pray that would water would come to our house so we can fill our barrels and cistern.