Loss

It all happened so fast our heads were spinning. This past week was the funeral for our island brother, Dimi’s wife.  She leaves behind 4 children, ages 2 to 11.  We received news of her illness and subsequent travel to Tanzania for treatment just as we were leaving the States.  We had only been back to Clove Island a few days when we received news of her passing.  What a tumultuous and melancholy first week.

At burial

For islanders, there is no question that if the family can gather the money, the body should be buried on the islands—and as soon as possible.  So within hours of her passing, people were already making arrangements to fly her body home.  The funeral would occur immediately—as in the casket would leave the airport and go straight into the funeral.  So we soon knew the funeral would be on Wednesday afternoon.  But before that could happen, money needed to be raised and sent to Tanzania to clear the medical debts, and pay for transportation, and permissions.  In Island culture, everybody chips in and someone finds a way to get the money to where it needs to go—usually through a friend or relation.  So we and our teammates found ourselves messaging with people in Tanzania and across the islands trying to do our part to get money where it needed to go.  

As Wednesday approached there were other matters to consider.  Brothers and sisters from the other islands were coming over to attend the funeral.  They would need help with transportation.  It is customary for a delegation to meet the casket at the airport and ride in caravan to the village.  Cars had to be rented or borrowed for this purpose (complicated by unrest on the islands closing roads and making taxi-drivers uneasy).  Also any visitors would need places to stay.  People would have to open their homes to receive them, feed them, etc. We did our small part in finding one willing taxi driver to be part of the caravan and hosting a brother from the small island.

At around 3pm on Wednesday the body arrived.  The funeral procession began.  The cars raced down the streets following the ambulance that led the way, through many towns until arriving at the village where hundreds of people already awaited the caravan.  Funerals are a community event, so hundreds of people being present is not surprising.  At this point men and women split up (although the majority of people at the airport were men).  The women gather together to chant and pray—our island sisters prayed in a different way.  The men gather at the home.  Briefly at the house I was able to see Dimi and give him a hug.  His eyes were tired and sad, but he was going forward stoically—Islanders are strongly discouraged from crying and other displays of mourning.  The body was taken from the travel casket and placed in the funeral casket.  The funeral casket is temporary and reusable.  In a moment the funeral casket was being carried outside and down the street to the place of worship.  Along the way, men would take turns carrying the load, switching in and out as they went along.  Men surrounded the casket front, back and sides, filling the road.  Dimi walked just behind it with some of his close blood relations. Tom did his part walking alongside them and Megan did her part sitting at the house with the women.

Remaining mourners around home after funeral

The casket was taken into the house of worship and a prayer is said.  Many of the men, and most of my brothers remained outside and waited.  When the prayer was finished the casket is then lifted again and taken to the grave—a long walk down the main street, and eventually into what looks like a field of banana, mango and clove trees, with grave humps the only distinguishing feature to mark it as a cemetery.  Upon arrival, some of the teachers begin to chant while some others go to work.  The body fully wrapped in cloth is removed from the casket and set in the grave, which is quickly filled in with dirt.  When the work is finished the burial is over.  The family of the deceased makes a receiving line and shakes everyone's hands, and then the men make their way back to their homes.

Back at the house, the brothers and sisters gathered.  The funeral may have been over, but they wanted a chance to gather around Dimi and pray for him.  We prayed with them. It was not long.  Dimi was clearly exhausted.  But the fellowship gathered around and lifted concerns up to their Dad.

We did our part, but we are very aware that we are just a small part of a whole community coming together to support our brother and friend.  Our sorrow is heavy.  But if there is one thing to rejoice in, one source of consolation it is seeing the brothers and sisters gathered for this moment—to see this community emerging—knowing that this family of brothers and sisters had an important role in helping the funeral go well and in helping Dimi feel supported and loved. We pray that they will continue to be that community for him in the hard days to come.

Our daughter at school

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful that everything came together for the funeral and for the community we witnessed and were able to be apart of. Our daughter continues to be giving us positive reports from boarding school. One shipment with rice came. It only scratched the surface of the need, but we hear more is coming. Our teammate is on her way to the US and successfully made it off the islands and was able to see Dimi on the big island as he traveled through.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
There was some significant unrest this past week on Clove Island, related to the rice shipment and its distribution. The government soldiers responded with lots of tear gas and tragically one child died from a severe reaction to the tear gas. Unrest continued with barred roads. The soldiers took several men into custody and destroyed property, making people upset again. Thankfully today the men were released and there is hope that the unrest will be over. Pray with us for peace. Pray for future rice shipments that they can be distributed fairly and peacefully. Pray that those shipments would come soon. Continue to pray for Dimi and his children as they continue to grieve.