Sudden Grief

I was in the front seat of the taxibus entering a big town, an hour from home and halfway to my final destination. Suddenly a pickup overflowing with people pulled up honking right in front of us, forcing us to stop. All cars on the street stopped too and we were boxed in, so all we could do was sit there and see whatever was going to unfold.

Island funeral procession

Men started hopping out of the truck and then a sudden wail rose above the clamor of men. Some men went up to the house directly at our right and said something, soon another woman joined the wailing. Shaking her head back and forth, crying out the name for God in Arabic again and again and looking like her legs might give out from under her. That’s when we saw the men start to lift out what could only be a body, draped with shawls, from the back of the truck.  Another woman, her face contorted in shock and sadness, ran urgently toward the house next door, no doubt to share the horrible news that their loved one was dead.

As our taxibus pulled around the chaos and left, all I could do was lift up my prayers for this family amidst this horrible shock. I wondered to myself why might God have had me see this disturbing tableau? I wasn’t able to speak words of comfort to anyone. No one in the taxibus was impacted, they merely speculated about what had happened. Why had I been given this glimpse into the devastating nature of sudden grief?

Students singing national anthem

A couple days later this same week, we got a message that one of our teammates had lost a loved one in a car accident. I was the one who sat our teammate down and broke the news to her.  After walking with her through that evening, I wondered if perhaps God had been preparing my heart, preparing me to weep with those who weep by reminding me earlier in the week how devastating sudden grief can be.

Yesterday we got news that one of the small inter island airplanes was missing, having been forced to turn around in stormy conditions. As the afternoon turned to evening, the search boats started finding debris and floating luggage but no survivors. As the news came in, I couldn’t help but play out in my mind how all those family members would be hearing the news. How the shock and grief would hit them, catching them completely unawares.

We must lament! Lament is different from despair. It does not say that there is no hope and that everything is lost, but it doesn’t shy away from expressing the pain, shock, loss and hurt. Lament is the right response, but to lament I have to let things touch me, I have to open my heart enough to let them impact me.

It is easy to become desensitized to all the news stories of death and loss. It is easy to forget that with every death there is a group of family and friends, whose hearts are wailing in pain and grief. This week helped knock off some of the calloused shell on my heart. It has helped me to remember the pain going on in this world of loss, renewing my empathy and breaking my heart for the brokenhearted. May we lament all the hard things going on in the world!

Our big kids!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our island brothers and sisters made it safely to mainland Africa— we continue to pray that they would come back safely from these meetings this week encouraged and ready to share. On the big island one of our colleagues met a family of ladies with openness to studying and learning— this is very encouraging (especially for the big island)- pray that the openness leads to change and growth in that family. Our landlord looked through our house and has agreed to renew our rental contract for another year (not sure that it was ever a question, but we don’t want to take it for granted and not be thankful). Our medical teammates got their annual visas renewed and our colleagues on the big island may have found an easier path for getting their visas in the future (on the big island, they have had a much harder time getting visas than here).

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for the islands and for all the families that are grieving. Pray for the dive teams working to recover the bodies from the sunken wreckage. Pray for our grieving teammate— she will be able to live-stream the funeral service on Tuesday. Pray that our God of comfort and peace would be with everyone. Pray for our teammate as she grieves while also attempting to make good inroad and habits in language learning and relationship building (this is still only her first month on the islands). A short-termer on the French Island has been robbed for the second time— pray for her as she processes these traumas and for the situation on the French Island which continues to be plagued by crime and unrest. This coming week we are having some face-to-face meetings linked with the year-long leadership training program that many of us island workers are doing. Unfortunately our main facilitator can’t make it and will have to facilitate via Zoom, also the plane crash creates extra nervousness to the idea of flying between islands. Pray for all those flying in, for calm hearts. Pray for a good time together and that the needed technology and internet connections would work for us to be able to be encouraged and equipped through the training. We are going to have several meetings this week looking at the future of work on the islands- pray for clarity and unity of vision for the coming years. There is a women’s gathering this week— pray that many would make space in their busy schedules to attend. Please also pray for our good friend and house helper who is 9 months pregnant that she would have a safe and healthy delivery! Pray also for our hearts and priorities to be in the right place as we begin Lent this week.