Saying Farewell

Our son by the airport

Imagine you’re getting ready to travel on a plane.  You’re busy packing, cleaning up the house, trying to make sure you’re not forgetting anything.  Just then you hear the doorbell ring.  It’s your neighbor, holding a casserole dish.  With a big smile they say to you, “Hey, I heard you were traveling tomorrow, so I made you a lasagna!  It’s still hot!  Just stick it in the freezer and then you can take it with you!” 

A couple days ago, Ma Riziki, came with a full gallon of mataba (a local dish of pounded greens cooked in coconut milk). It was for us to take on our trip! She suggested we freeze it to take on the plane.  We’ve had these awkward gifts before. To the islander it makes perfect sense, mataba is a local delicacy and something people miss when they travel— what could be a better gift!  Plus, she wanted to butter us up…

Leaving the islands is often a bit of an ordeal, even if it is for just a short time, if you are leaving the island, you are expected to say your farewells. There is actually a special verb in the local language for these farewells (to “laga”) and we’ve incorporated it into our English. We’ll say, “I need to go laga my neighbors.” This means I’m traveling in the next day or two and I need to inform my neighbors and say goodbye. Telling someone that you are traveling a week beforehand doesn’t count as laga-ing them.  You have to say farewell within a day or two of traveling for it to count. Too many times we’ve had an islander confront one of us by saying, “You didn’t laga me?” Sometimes we honestly forgot.  Sometimes we looked for them but didn’t find them.  Sometimes we told them that we were traveling a couple days before our departure and thought that it was enough. Sometimes we felt like our absence was for such a trivial amount of time that laga-ing people wasn’t necessary. In any case, when people confront us we remember that islanders love to complain and act affronted.  It’s like a love language and shows that they value our relationship. So we apologize and try to reassure them that we value them too.

With most relationships it is okay to wait until the day before traveling to inform people.  In fact this is often preferred by islanders. The late notice means there is little chance of your plans falling through and you being embarrassed in front of people by not having your plans come to fruition. It also means that lots of people can’t make requests of you— either to transport things for them as you travel or to buy and bring things back. (These are both common island requests.)

Our kids all have karate shirts now

Still there are some closer friends that we have to give advanced notice of our travel (otherwise they will complain and act affronted).  We told Ma Riziki about our trip off-island about a week ago. We could almost see her mind reeling through things she could ask us for…. After a brief time of small talk, she announced her request. She wanted small oven—like a toaster oven. Ma Riziki has never traveled so we’ve had to explain before that there are limits to what we can take on a plane. I think she realized this was a bigger request because she explained that we should get one only if it wasn’t too expensive and that it didn’t have to be a big oven. We told her we’d look into it.

Yesterday, the mataba was freezing, and we were cleaning the house and packing. Ma Riziki was back…with more well-wishes for our travels and another gift of food! A local peanut/sesame treat made with honey and chilies. Thankfully it does not need to be refrigerated. What’s up? Why was she making such a big deal about us leaving?  Does she think we were leaving for several months?? Perhaps she just really wants that toaster oven and is laying it on thick.

We flew to the big island today. Ma Riziki called us while we were in the airport security line to give us yet another farewell.  An hour later we were on the big island, where we treated our friends to a mataba lunch and then drove to the local stores to check out the toaster oven selection.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The brothers and sisters that went to the training have told us that it went well and that they gained a lot from their time together. We were able to work through our long to-do list before traveling. We are thankful that the government shutdown has stopped (even if temporarily).

PRAYERS REQUESTED
One of our island sisters has been in pain. She’s been told that she needs surgery but the medical advice she has received so far seems suspect. She has asked our help to connecting with a good doctor in mainland Africa. Pray for healing for her and that we would be able to connect her with good medical counsel. One of our colleagues has returned home because her mother is dying and has entered hospice care. Pray for her and her siblings during this time. We are hoping to have a number of medical/dental visits while we are off-island, pray that we would get the care and advice we need. Our island has had serious power cuts for the past few weeks. Pray that the island’s generators could be fixed and power could be restored. Pray for the group that Tom meets with and that they would be motivated to study together in Tom’s absence.