In Secret

Tom on a panel for English exams

Why do people do things in secret?  Isn’t it mostly to hide something? Is it mostly to hide something wrong, shameful, or dishonorable.  Megan recently went to a fundraising event and asked about the people who did not wave their money to the crowd but rather waved an envelop instead.  Often people write their names on envelopes to make sure the people know who the money came from, so we had always assumed the use of envelopes was to hide the large amount of money they were giving. But this time I noticed lots of blank envelopes and it turns out the opposite is just as often true. They are hiding the fact that they are giving very little.  “Sometimes they don’t put anything at all in the envelope,” a neighbor told us scornfully.

Back in April the little neighbor girls started coming to ask for stuff. Since then they came over nearly everyday to ask for things on behalf of their mother.  We have described our struggles with this unusual relationship in another blog.  But about a month ago a man came to the house.  I didn’t know him, but he said he was the father of the girls.  We had been given the impression that he wasn’t in the picture anymore, but he told me it’s not right for them to come asking for stuff.  That he had not known and that he was ashamed that it was happening as he was responsible for caring for them (even if he was no longer married to their mother). He asked us to stop giving to them. The next time the girls came we told them they needed to talk to their father before coming to us.  Not long after that the girls stopped coming.  His ex-wife’s secret had come to light.

We are entrusted with many secrets here.  People feel they can trust us and because we are outsiders we are somehow safer.  So they will share with us their worries, fears, early pregnancies, travel opportunities, plans, etc.  All things they would not tell many of their close friends, they share with us.  We can be trusted.

At the same time, we don’t want to be secretive people.  We want to do do things out in the open.  So whether it is our jobs, our relationships, or our faith, we want to speak and act in ways that are open and true.  We do not want anyone to be able to say, “You’re not who we thought you were.”  Or “You never told us that.”  

Recent English ceremony audience

Its strange how things done in secret often acquire a sense of shame even if they are not shameful.  Our kids will fall into this trap often.  “What are you doing?” We ask them.  “Nothing...” they answer with a very guilty look.  More often than not, it is nothing, just something silly, but because they feel a desire to hide it, it becomes shameful.  And there is the trouble—when good things become shameful, we may have done something wrong, but the wrong is keeping it secret. 

I was struck by this truth recently when reading the gospel.  As they came to the garden to take Jesus away, he asks them, “Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs to capture me? Day after day I sat in the temple teaching, and you did not seize me.”  In essence he says, “I have kept no secrets.  I have been out in the open.” 

One islander came to me recently interested in having discussions and learning more from me, but he insisted that it would have to be secret meetings between just me and him, that no one else could know about it. I hated to disappoint him but I told him that isn’t how I did things and instead invited him to a group meeting having weekly discussions not far from his house. He needed to realize that having discussions and learning new things isn’t shameful like his desire for secrecy suggested.

So the question is, what are we tempted to hide that should not be hidden?  What are we tempted to do in secret that should be seen by all?  I think this question is as valid in the States as it is here on the islands.  When we hide our faith do we turn it into something shameful?  Should our views that differ from the surrounding culture be hidden?  Or can we say, that day after day we have spoken openly about these things?  This is the challenge we face, no matter where we live.  The saying goes that some things are best kept secret, but we don’t think that’s true.

Megan & son on "date" hike

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We got our island visas renewed for another year!! We don’t want to take for granted how easy that has been for us. We are very thankful for the favor we have found with the department of Education here on Clove Island. Our Australian guest finally made it off the islands and back to Kenya after two weeks of cancellations from the airline! Megan is enjoying going on “dates” with our kids in honor of her birthday. The group Tom is meeting with went well this past week, with new people joining to listen and discuss.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our colleagues on the small island have had several encounters this past week with evil spirits, pray for peace and victory in those situations. Tomorrow (Tuesday) there is going to be a special time of prayer and fasting for women on the islands (both expat and islanders) to pray about women’s health issues that seem to be plaguing many. Continue to pray for our colleagues on this island that have had a representative from their organization here helping to sort through some serious difficulties— we haven’t heard yet how it is going. Pray for our higher island leadership as they work toward  strengthening communication and trust between groups working on the islands-- a task that has proved difficult and complicated so far.
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