Did He Really Say That?

Men's Event-- sitting for sermon, etc..

Have we been writing about weddings a lot these days?  Well, that’s because we’ve been going to a lot of them.  We each had village wedding ceremonies to attend over the weekend.  Village wedding ceremonies are always more tiring as they usually involve a long car ride, a greater part of the day, and a gut-busting amount of rice to eat!  But they are also a chance to deepen friendships and see how things are done outside the capital.

So that’s how I (Tom) found myself at a men’s wedding ceremony about 30 minutes away from the capital with a good friend who is also an islander and an English teacher.  I was happy to be able to sit next to my friend this time around instead of being whisked away to the “honored guest seating” where I’m often seated whether I like it or not. The typical men’s wedding ceremony is pretty simple really, it consists of an opening prayer, reading from their holy book, a sermon, singing and dancing, speeches, more singing and dancing, more reading from their holy book, a closing prayer, and party favors.  This is good listening practice time in the local language!  But often I have no one to check my understanding with.  So when we got to the sermon, my friend leaned over and asked if I agreed with what the teacher was saying.  I replied with what I thought he was saying:
    “So, is he saying that it’s better to marry a smart woman than a dumb woman?”
    “No,” my friend informed me, “he saying you need to pay a smaller dowry for a dumb woman.  If she is smart, you will have to pay more.  Also if she has a deformity, like a problem with her eye or leg, you should pay less. Do you agree?”
    “Is that really what he said?  No I don’t agree.” 
A little later on in the speech my friend asked again.  “Do you agree with that?”
    “I don’t know.”  I answered, “What did he say?”
    “He said that if your wife refuses to sleep with you than you should cut off her money.  You should punish her.  Do you agree?”
    “No I certainly don’t agree.”  I told him.  “He is wrong.  This man is a fool.”  My friend laughed.  The teacher then finished his brilliant speech by reminding men not to sleep with their wives during her period as that is a big sin.

Tom & kids at bedtime

After the ceremony we talked some more. “So,” I asked my friend, “Do you agree with what the teacher said?”
    “You know,” my friend replied, “These teachers, they say many things but no one really listens to them.  I believe, if you love someone it doesn’t matter what they look like.  If she is a good woman that is more important than her physical appearance.”
    “Yes!”  I agreed.  Glad to hear that some light had penetrated the darkness. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We have managed to make it through many weddings and are very hopeful that all this good face time will result in more quality conversations in the future.  Tom had a good time of study with a friend.  The airline is flying again, but not at full capacity.  The language project computer problem turned out to be a faulty keyboard.  A new keyboard has been purchased.  Ma Imani’s daughter seems to be healing well.  We celebrated 14 years of marriage this past week!  We are thankful for teammates willing to watch our kids and let us go on a date for our anniversary.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our youngest has worms (very common here) so the family is taking worm medication again—ah, island life!  Pray for worm free living!  All the weddings have been hard on Megan’s back.  Pray for strength and healing there.  We are looking into traveling in October for some vacation and medical/dental checkups.  Pray that the plans would fall into place.  As always, pray for the translation work and for lots of opportunities to share and spread light and love to islanders all around us.