The Good Neighbor Test

Took hike up stairs overlooking our town

They had come in quietly, without saying a word. So it was a surprise when I turned around and found two little girls in the middle of my house. I was surprised again by the next words out of their mouth.
“Give us money,” the older one said quietly.
I looked at them seriously. They were about the age of our boys, around 4 and 6 years old. I recognized them vaguely—they were some of our new neighbors.

It was a test—the neighbors were trying to figure out where we fit in.

On the islands there is a system in which wealthier people take care of poorer people. There are very few true beggars and they almost always have a visible disability. But poorer people usually have a network of people that they ask when they are in need—it is a network of existing relationships, often through the family. They have claim toward asking certain people for assistance.

They took most of the pictures

But then we come in.  We are foreigners and so automatically it is assumed we are wealthy.  But at the same time, we aren’t in any existing network. Where do we fit in? Does everyone have a claim to ask us for help or does no one have a claim? Sometimes it is the first interactions that set the precedent. How are we going to be known in our neighborhood. We want to be known as generous, loving people. We want to enter the give-and-take network that undergirds the community but at the same time we can’t support everyone. We also want to be culturally appropriate. We don’t want to give without relationship, but at the same time, relationships have to start somewhere.

All these things were running through my head as I looked at these two little girls. Perhaps they just wanted a coin to buy candy, or perhaps an adult sent them. They hadn’t asked permission to enter our home and they hadn’t greeted me (two things their culture requires), but they seemed shy. After a brief talk with them and Tom, I put some produce in a plastic bag and gave it to them with the message that we didn’t give money to little kids but their mother could come and talk to us.

A few minutes later they were back and said their mom was sick. They took me down an alley and into a tin shack area to their mother. Two smaller kids were already gnawing on a couple of the carrots I had given them. The mother was pregnant with her fifth and wanted money. Unfortunately, Ma Riziki, our next door neighbor from our previous house, had asked for food the day before and my kitchen was pretty bare. So I returned home with the two girls trailing behind. I went to one of the little neighborhood shops and bought some basic foods—rice, sardines, oil—and took it back to the mother. I wondered if she was disappointed that I didn’t just give her money, but she said thank you all the same. I shared a little with her about how we look to God when we have troubles— hoping that I could make this first visit more about beginning a relationship rather than just charity.

Our town

I went home, feeling like this first test had gone well, but not knowing for sure. The very next afternoon the girls were at our door again. I prepared myself to hear another request for money or food. Instead, the oldest girl said, “Mom told us to come over here and play.” The girls ended up playing with our kids for the rest of the afternoon. A new relationship has begun. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED

Our newest team member arrived today! We are thankful that her boat trip from the smallest island went well. We got our visas! We are thankful for the continued favor we have here on Clove Island. We feel like we’ve had several good interactions with new neighbors, though the combination of new and old relationships to maintain can be a little overwhelming.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Tomorrow we do a little orientation for our newly arrived teammate and the next day she goes into a week-long homestay with an island family. Continue to pray for her transition and that her homestay experience will be a blessing all around. The translation project has lost one of its island workers, which could be a blessing in disguise but is still difficult. Pray for a clear way forward. Pray for us to get into good and healthy patterns as we start life as team and settle into more of a routine. We have two women in our lives that are waiting to give birth— Tom’s sister back in the States and one of our new neighbors. Please pray for easy deliveries and healthy babies for both of them.