Big Men Don't Say Please

When we teach English we often find that we are teaching about culture as well as language.  This is normal (any language expert worth their salt will tell you language and culture are mixed together and it’s unwise to separate them).  So the students always get a kick out of learning about American habits of being polite.  Americans say please a lot and expect others to say please.  We teach our children the “magic word” and remind them to say “Please” and “Thank You.”  Islanders find it amusing to stick a please on phrases.   

Young visitor come to say goodbye

The fact is, there is no good word for an everyday “please” in the island language.  For foreigners coming to the islands, it can be quite jarring the first time someone comes to your house and says, “Give me water.”  Or when you hear someone tell the taxi driver “Take me to the port.  You hear?”  That’s not to say Islanders are impolite.  They just have different ways of expressing it.  How to be polite looks different in different cultures.  On the islands, greeting people along the road, even if you don’t know them, is polite.  Walking someone who is leaving your house down the road for a bit is another way to be polite.  Waiting by the door even when you’ve been told to come in, is another example of island politeness.  

But on the islands, politeness is also wrapped up in respect.  Older people are addressed differently than someone the same age as you, you greet them more politely and so show them respect.  When people call us “Teacher” they are being polite and showing us respect.  When an important personage graces a wedding, the host will gush in extremely polite, flattery and respectful language, “Oh Honorable One, we are graced by your distinguished presence here among us today…”

That’s why it was funny when one of the students in the class asked, “Teacher, what if I become a big man?”  By big man, he meant someone important, rich and respectable—like a bank manager, elected government official, etc.  For a moment, we didn’t understand the question, but then it clicked.  In island culture, being polite is deeply connected to respect.  You are polite to those above you.  However, the one in authority has no requirement to show something beneath them the same respect.  Our student was asking, “If I’m an important person, do I have to be polite?”

On the big island!

The answer, in western culture (at least the one we grew up in) was yes.  Even big men should be polite.  It is expected and desired that people be treated equally and with respect.  Oh, we may know that the big bosses on Wall Street, or the power hungry politicians may not do this, but we want them to.  We think they should.  This is something so profoundly different between our two cultures and yet it is easy to miss.  How did this disparity come about?  It’s often hard to say with culture.

But a recent Sunday, we were reading a story about how a bunch of followers started arguing about which one of them was the greatest.  Their teacher came and interrupted them and said, “In this world, the kings and great men lord it over their people…but among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.”

Reunited with our older kids

I think the teacher’s words have profoundly shaped western culture.  Will that same teacher change Island culture one day?  God willing!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We were able to say our goodbyes and pack our house into our living room (so they can do work on the roof over our bedrooms). Tom got to study with Muki even the day that we left.  We made it safely to the big island and had a good time reconnecting with some of our colleagues there, including a couple that has recently moved to a new village much further south— it’s exciting that a new village will have people of salt and light living among them. We also made it safely to mainland Africa in time to see both of our older kids give their testimonies in front of their school community and to be able to ‘dunk’ our older son in celebration of the new life he has embraced. We are so thankful for how God is moving in our kids’ lives.  One of our medical teammates made it back to the islands after 6 months away and finally got her bag after a delay of a couple days!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The islands are celebrating a big holiday today connected with the annual pilgrimage abroad. Pray that islanders (those on pilgrimage and those on the islands) would be drawn to the truth. Continue to pray for our daughter as we try to find the right balance of medications that allows her to be relatively pain-free while avoiding bad side effects. Pray for good communication with her doctors, and that she would not be discouraged.  Pray for us as we have a long to-do list for the next few weeks— lots of meetings and appointments and administrative work. Pray that we would use our time wisely.