Giving

 I’m not very good at giving.  It’s an area I’m growing in.  I’m not much of a gift giver.  I rarely think of a thoughtful gift unless someone points it out to me first.  But I don’t think I’m particularly generous either.  I’m more inclined to think about what’s appropriate rather than what I feel like giving.  Maybe that’s because I rarely feel like giving.  Whether it is things or money—there is always a hesitation in my movements.  I am slow to give.  I’m learning, but I wish I could do it more naturally and wholeheartedly.

Recent island sunset

On the other hand, giving is complicated.  We don’t want to create dependency.  We don’t want people to listen to us or accept our views because of the gifts they hope to receive.  We’ve seen time and again how money can ruin a hopeful situation as it distracts, tempts and motivates people towards greed and what they can get rather than the relationship and love that it was meant to foster.

I continue to be challenged by my friend, Muki.  As you may remember, Muki is the skinny old man, with a twinkle of mischief in his eye and not a penny in his pocket.   He comes to my house nearly every day for coffee and to read the good news with me.  We have gone through a story set of 35 stories and when we finished he asked to go through them again.  So we are reading them again.  He loves them and I see him gaining more insight on the second reading.  It’s a joy to meet with him.  

Whenever he comes over I give him a cup of instant coffee (the gift from my aunt that keeps on giving!) and whatever food we have available at the time.  As we talk and read together, he has shared with me how he struggles to find something to eat everyday.  When I see his thin frame I can’t help but believe that he is telling me the truth.  That makes me want to be more generous with him, but I know that at the same time I need to be careful.  I don’t want money to ruin the good thing we have going.  At the very least, Muki can know that if he comes to visit me he can get something to eat, whether he wants to study or not.

Good dirt!

I’ve thought many times about how I might be able to help him out in a way that would give him dignity.  A small job, perhaps, something like washing my car—only I don’t have a car.  Really, I hadn’t been able to think of anything.  But then this week I had an idea.  What if he could get us some good potting soil.  Our son loves planting things and our porch has all sorts of plants.  But one of the hardest things to get has been good dirt.  Why not ask Muki?

Sure enough, the same day I mentioned it, Muki came back with a flour sack full of beautiful black loam—some of the best potting soil I’ve ever seen.  He spread it out on a plastic sheet and searched through it for rocks.  He was so happy to be able to help us out in this way.  I was happy too, to be able to give him something for his trouble.

The funny thing was, when I gave him the money, he took it and said, “This is not a payment.  This is an offering.  Friends don’t do work for friends.  So I’m giving you this soil and you’re giving me this gift.”  I couldn’t help but smile.  Here I was, seeing this transaction as a way to legitimize my gift.  So he would be able to take the money without shame—he didn’t beg for it—it was given for work done.  Instead, he turned the tables on me.  Friends bless friends with gifts.  We were simply blessing each other—no transactions involved.

It’s Christmas time and most people in America are thinking about giving and getting and buying and wrapping.  We’ve been watching Christmas movies with the kids and the same themes about giving and receiving come up time and again.  But I think Muki is doing a better job of teaching me about giving than all those Christmas movies.  Giving is about blessing.  How can I bless those around me?  How are they blessing me?  What if every relational transaction, monetary or otherwise, were actually an opportunity to bless someone?  What might we learn about giving then?

Celebrating end of exams

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Water has improved lately! Even one of our friends who has bad water problems was saying that they had lots of water this weekend. Thanks for praying. We’ve also had some rainy days that helped to bring some nice breaks and relief from the heat. Megan and Ma Imani had a nice study with one island sister, with hopes that weekly study with two island sisters will become a regular thing.  Our youngest son finished his local school exams without too much stress!  We were able to go visit our former teammates (who recently joined the medical team) in their new house— we are thankful to see them well settled and in a great location.

PRAYRES REQUESTED
This coming weekend is the big holiday gathering, celebrating with islanders and expats from around the island. There are several last-minute details that still have to be discussed and figured out. Pray that there would be unity in the final logistics and finances, and that the whole event would be a blessing. Pray also as all the kids have prepared a performance for the event— pray that their inclusion in the event would help them to feel a part of the community and add to the sense of unity and family.  December is a busy time, but we also want to spend quality time with our kids while they are home. Pray that we would strike a good balance between getting work done, being out in community, and spending time as a family.