The Wedding is Off— Almost

 This week I (Tom) was invited to a wedding event.  We’ve written about wedding events before.  Weddings are a big part of Island culture.  There are multiple events involved in a wedding and we’ve been to so many at this point it feels like we’ve seen it all.  And then something comes along to surprise us.

Prayers being said at wedding

Of all the wedding events, there is one event that is considered the most important.  It can often be a very small affair, a dozen people or so in the home.  It is the event where the groom, in front of a religious teacher, agrees to pay and then proceeds to pay the bride price.  After this event, the two are officially married.  No other event is required.

The funny thing about this event is it can be very simple or quite extravagant.  It really depends on the family and the desires of the bride and groom.  There is no time limit on when to do the other wedding events, so many couples choose to marry and do it as a small event early and then save up money to do the big expensive events later in life.

This past week I was invited to one of those small events by my friend Muki.  I’ve known Muki since the first days we arrived on the island. When I first met this wiry little old man with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, I didn’t trust him at all—and with good reason—everyone told me not to trust him.  But despite that, we became friends.  Over time he’s gotten to be one of those people who come by and ask for things, with Muki, it’s usually fry oil.  It doesn’t seem like he can come by without asking for something.  But somewhere along the line, we started having deeper conversations and reading the good news together.  He loves to read and loves the stories from the Word.  Lately he’s discovered that he can come and get a cup of instant coffee.  So he comes for a cup of joe and to read the good book with me.  May the Lord use it!

Bride, groom and relatives

So when Muki invited me to a wedding, I wasn’t going to refuse it.  He took me to a far off neighborhood up in the hills.  We traipsed over muddy paths until we found the house.  The religious teacher was with us.  We arrived to find a small house with a few dozen people sitting around.  The groom got himself ready for the proceedings.  The religious teacher called some of the older people into another room to sign the papers.  That’s when things got interesting.

Apparently to make a marriage official you need the signature of the groom, the signature of the bride, and the signature of the bride’s father, brother, or uncle.  (Notice, the mother does not qualify.)  Well, after a while the religious teacher came out and explained the situation. We could not proceed without the bride’s father.  With that announcement they called the bride’s father, who apparently had no interest in being there but was willing to come.  Twenty minutes later the religious teacher asks the man who has arrived, “Are you the father?”  He launches into a long story about how he has taken care of the girl and provided for her from a young age, but in reality, he is not the father.  At that the religious teacher says they have a problem.  

After suggesting they wait and reschedule (an idea that was disagreeable to all) he shared one possibility.  In cases where no relative can be found, then the village chief becomes responsible.  So, after some talk they decided they would contact him.  It took some time to determine who that man was and more time to find someone with his phone number.  Then they cold-called him.  The religious teacher carefully explained the predicament.

“We’re in the middle of a wedding ceremony,” he says. “And we need you to confirm two things.  First, can you confirm that she has been divorced for more than 3 months?”

The wedding actually happening!

What!?!?  Apparently there were two possible problems with this wedding going forward, though this was the first time he had mentioned it.  The village chief didn’t seem very sure how long she’d been divorced, but he was willing to go along with it.

“Secondly,” the teacher continued, “We need you to sign off on this wedding.  Since she has no living relative, will you sign for her?”  There was silence on the other end of the line for quite a while, then a quiet, reluctant voice said, “Okay.”

With that, the wedding went on. Vows were made, money was exchanged, pictures were taken and everyone went home happy.  In the end a success, even if it was almost canceled.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our son is feeling much better. He’s out of the health center and catching up on his school work. Megan has made it safely to her destination and is enjoying the conference.  Tom and the youngest son are getting by just fine on their own.  We are excited that Megan will be with the two older children this week. Praise that Megan and a good friend and island sister are making plans to start studying together regularly.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for Muki.  God protected him recently from two pretty bad falls.  Pray that these close calls would be working in his heart.  Pray for our youngest as he gets used to the routines of school and getting up early, as well as home school in the afternoon.  It’s a lot!  Pray for what seems like a softening of the hearts of some of our teammates neighbors.  Pray for opportunities to come to share the good news and receptive hearts.  The cistern project continues, but we are thankful that things continue to move forward.  The internship at the hospital continues for our new family and they are adjusting to a much busier schedule.  Pray for those routines to settle in and for good health for them. Pray the conference that Megan is attending, as it discusses and prays about was big proposals— may God be the one guiding.