What Would You Do?

 Imagine someone came to your house and told you that they planned to perform a religious ceremony there—only the ceremony was for a different religion than the one you followed.  Would you allow them to do it?  

Islanders gathered for religious event

On the surface this seems like a simple question with potentially a simple answer:  “No, of course not.”  

But, if you stop and think about it for a second, a question might jump to your mind.  Instead of a flat out, “No”, you might find yourself asking, “Why?”

“Why my house?  Wouldn’t it make more sense at your house or your place of worship?  Why in the world would you choose my place?”

Considering the seeming strangeness of the request, there might be some pretty strange reasons for it.  Some of them might be completely valid.  Some of them might be completely bizarre. But it takes asking why to start discovering the complexity.

We struggle with these sorts of complexities all the time, as do our island brothers and sisters.  For example, with this very question—the answer might be one where you have little choice in the matter.  Some colleagues have been renting a house on the big island and when the landlord came and said, “We’re going to do a religious ceremony there.”  It wasn’t so much asking as it was telling.

But then lets add a layer of complexity to it.  What if you’ve become good friends with the landlord?  And what if the religious ceremony is a prayer for his beloved mother who he can’t talk about without choking up?  What if the house you’re renting is the biggest space available to the landlord to do a big event?  It gets harder and harder to say no. And at the end of the day, it’s the landlord’s house.

Let’s add another layer of complexity.  What if you are not an expat renter, but an islander in your own home and it is your extended family coming to you with the request?  What if it was your beloved family member who had died and the family is requesting to use your house because it is the biggest space available?  You may not agree with the ceremony, but you agree with the sentiment.  There is something in us that longs to commemorate the ones we’ve loved and lost.  Does that make it okay?

Now, I’m not sure of your answer.  Maybe you’ve switched and now think, “Let them go ahead and do it.”  Well, let me add another layer of complexity.  You may have peace in your heart, but what about the people around you?  What does your capitulation say to them?  What does it say to others of your faith?  What kind of example are you setting?  Are you missing an opportunity?  Is this the moment for lovingly sacrificing your desires for the sake of your family, or is it the moment for bold witness and humbly standing for what you believe no matter the consequences?

Tom brings back sunglasses for a friend

Perhaps now you are thinking, “Maybe yes or no is the fool’s choice.”  Perhaps there is another way to hold all these competing values together.  Could we offer alternative venues?  Is there the possibility of an alternative ceremony?  Is there another way to honor a loved one that I could celebrate that would be acceptable in the eyes of my family and community?

I hope by now you don’t claim to know the answer.  In fact, I don’t believe there is one answer that works in every situation.  Rather, there is one true answer for each situation and those answers will change with that situation.  To know the right answer for the given situation will take prayer, discernment, wisdom, humility and love.

These sorts of decisions are frequent for our island brothers and sisters.  One came up just this week, sparking a discussion among them (and inspiring this blog).  On the surface, it might seem like the decision is obvious, but dig deeper and we see its complexity.  Unfortunately, we are often quick to judge from the surface, without digging down and understanding, without wrestling with the complexities of the issue, without listening and empathizing with the person making the decision.  

Imagine someone came to your house and told you that they planned to perform a religious ceremony there—only the ceremony was for a different religion than the one you followed.  Would you allow them to do it?

What would you do?

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our son’s second week at boarding school was much better than his first. He’s settling in and things are getting easier. Thanks for praying! It looks like the island brother with the hurt back may not need surgery after all—he will do some physical therapy and then be evaluated again. Our colleagues heard back from the landlord in France, so they can move forward with the contract and repairs for the house that our teammates will live in when they move over to the medical team in November. Our island sister made it safely to her destination and her mom says she has contacts for people and community there. Megan’s back continues to improve— her incision is almost completely healed (after her body started rejecting the stitches). The monthly women’s gathering was an encouraging time where some of these complex situations were discussed. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The medical team is still waiting on several approvals— for a short-termer to be able to observe at the hospital on the plateau, for our teammates to begin their internship at the hospital in the capital, and for the funding for a breastfeeding workshop that had already been planned for this past weekend. These delays are frustrating and it isn’t clear where the delays are originating from. Pray for God’s timing and for obstacles to be removed. Pray for our teammates who have been struggling with bad water at their house for as long as they have lived there— efforts to install and fill a cistern at their house has been and continue to be problematic.  Pray for the islands as all of us continue to wrestle with tough issues and dynamics filled with complexity. May we surrender them in prayer and see God bring discernment and unity.