Anecdotes on Island Marriage

I was visiting the family of a friend and overheard them discussing a recent family event.  

Beautiful place with lots of issues

On the islands, it is customary for people to go to the airport to greet family members returning from abroad or who have been away to another island for a long time.  They dress up in their finest clothes and make flower necklaces to drape over the returning family member.  The travelers are surrounded by their loved ones who embrace them with big smiles and escort them home like royalty.   

In this case, it was my friend’s cousin who was returning.  Apparently a few years ago he had gone to find a living on the small island and was returning now to Clove Island to introduce people to his new bride — a young woman also from Clove Island whom he had met while living there.  

As people gathered at the airport, a large contingency of the family was there—a surprisingly large contingency.  Were all these people here to meet his cousin?  No, in fact they were here to meet his bride. Here comes the surprise…the bride is also his relative!  To be more specific it turned out (if I understood it right) that his cousin had unknowingly married his aunt!  

I can only imagine the confusion at the airport.  What is usually a joyous occasion must have become extremely awkward.  Moreover, a baby is already on the way, so there is little use in trying to annul the marriage.

Boys and teammate on sunset hike

As my friend shook his head at the turn of events he told me that it is all too common here.  You have to be really careful whom you marry.  Not only are the islands pooling from a small population (about 400,00 on Clove Island), but polygamy is culturally acceptable, promiscuity is rampant, and large families are the norm.  My friend pointed out that he has eight children from two wives just like his father before him.  He says it’s pretty hard to keep track of whom you are related to.  Another friend from another village has told me he is still discovering all his half-brothers and half-sisters as he has learned more and more about his father’s multiple wives and indiscretions.

It’s not the way it’s supposed to be.  

Yesterday I went to a wedding ceremony where the man giving the wedding sermon was one of our former landlords.  I think he must have heard and remembered our story of the 2 kingdoms, because his speech to the groom sounded so similar.  He said that when God made the world everything was good, including marriage.  Adam and Even loved each other and shared everything and did not have any jealousy or cheating.  

It was one of the nicest speeches I have ever heard at a wedding here.  It’s much more common to hear speeches about the importance of an obedient wife—nothing about love, or helping one another.  As far as I know, this man (the speaker) has not had a change of heart.  He may not even realize the influence the story of the 2 kingdoms has had on his thoughts and words, but it is there, and it gives us hope.

This coming week we will go to the wedding of two of our colleagues.  Though they are both foreigners, they have lots of island friends and island experience.  They will be celebrating their marriage in a distinctly island way, and yet, a distinctly different way from that of the majority faith.  Many islanders will be there, seeing something modeled that might get their minds thinking, whether consciously or unconsciously: What could marriage look like for people like us?  How could it be reimagined in a way that still honors our culture, our families, our heritage?  The possibility of something new and yet understandable, transferable, usable is an exciting thing.  It too gives us hope.

Another group of teachers trained!

“The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough.”  Matthew 13:33

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our longtime teammate was married this past week in mainland Africa and our daughter was able to attend the wedding. Two islanders were also able to attend. This week Tom successfully finished leading the teacher's training course in a far away village. We celebrated our new teammate’s birthday with both cake and a hike (we saw a live chameleon on the islands for the first time!). Our daughter had a relaxed long weekend break with a good mix of getting out and resting.  We got to talk to her several times, so even though we couldn’t be with her in person it felt like we were able to have good times of connection over the weekend. The short-termer from the French Island was able to visit and made it back to the French Island safely this morning. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We read an article this week saying that the island’s head religious leader has proclaimed that the weekly religious teachings can’t be given in the local language, it has to be in Arabic. We’re not sure the impact this will have on islanders, but may the contrast with us embracing local language and sharing truth in it be a comforting and inviting difference. Our new team family’s little ones are sick, as well as one of our medical team colleagues. Pray for healing and full restoration of health. Our youngest son is starting his end of the year exams at school. Pray that we’d be able to study with him so that he feels prepared and not stressed by them. Pray for our daughter as she returns to school from her midterm break and settles back in for her last month of freshman year! Lots of our team and many islanders are all going to the big island this coming weekend for our teammate’s wedding celebration there (since most of us couldn’t get to mainland Africa for the original wedding). Pray that it would be a joyous time that would draw the body together and help us celebrate God-centered marriage. Pray for us as we connect with different island workers while on the big island as well.