Island Friends, Leaving, Gifts And Money Matters

 It is not uncommon for islanders to suddenly disappear.  They may well know that they are leaving.  In some cases they will have been planning it for months.  But they only tell people at the last minute, if they tell them at all.  In our experience this is because leaving is a bit complicated on the islands.  It involves money, promises, and proper leave taking.  We’ve gotten better at it over the years, but it has taken some (maybe a lot) of getting used to.  We thought we’d give you a taste through a number of little anecdotes.

Visiting on holiday

“I heard you’re leaving, I need a watch,” a neighbor said to me.  This is less jarring than it used to be. I suspect it is one of the main reasons islanders are so secretive about their travels.  Most islanders see someone else traveling as a shameless opportunity to ask for gifts.  This used to really bug me, but I’ve come to expect it and see it as a chance to bless, be generous and deepen a relationship—as long as the request isn’t too outrageous.

“Can you get me a car for my daughter?” My good friend Bako asked.  “What kind of car?” I asked skeptically.  He wanted something either like a tricycle or power wheels.  I had to tell him we didn’t have that sort of room in our bags.  But we’ll have to bring something nice back for his daughter.  A doll perhaps?

Gift requests come in other forms: “The screen on my phone is broken.  Can you get it fixed for me in the US?”  Two people asked me this.  Their assumption being that, such fixes would be better and cheaper in the US and, of course, that we would pay for it.”  Are you curious how we handle this request?  Since we’ve found screen replacement to be quite expensive and not worth it for the old generations of island phones most people have, plus a pain, it’s easier to just look for a used phone for them.  So, we’ll need to come back with a couple of gently used phones if possible. 

A goodbye visit

Then there are the people who have some means and simply see our travels as access to quality merchandise.  Since you cannot trust the merchandise for high-end goods on the islands (and no one gives warranties) the best way to get something nice is to get someone to bring it for you.  So some of our friends ask us, “Can you bring me back a nice camera? How much does a laptop cost?”  This is where things like WhatsApp have really revolutionized things and made life much easier.  Where before we might feel obligated to try to bring something out for a friend, the whole thing felt a lot like a crapshoot.  Would we get the right thing or would they be disappointed?  Would they pay for it or would we be out a bunch of money?  But now, WhatsApp allows us to settle on make model and price, and we can usually say we will only purchase the item when someone has paid one of our teammates.  This not only helps transactions to go much more smoothly, but also weeds out the ones who were not seriously looking to purchase (or had no idea how expensive the item they were hoping to find was).

“Can you pay me in advance?”  Our house helper asks in the final days before we leave.  Paying in advance is a bit of a dangerous endeavor on the islands.  Many, many people have stories of paying someone up front for the work only to have them start and never finish the work.  But this is a bit different, since we are asking her to come by and sweep, mop, dust and wash curtains, mosquito nets, etc. while we are away.  It’s not an easy negotiation, but it is an inevitable part of going away.

“What am I going to do while you’re gone?  There will be a wedding!”  These kinds of statements come from friends who regularly come to us for help.  As much as we may not care for it, we have become a reliable source of food or funds for a number of people we care about.  It is part of the give-and-take life on the islands.  Ma Riziki is one whom we regularly help out.  She will undoubtedly have less while we are gone.  She asks a lot and can give very little, but before we left she brought us a bag full of shihondro—an island sort of peanut brittle that we love and which travels well—it has become a tradition that she gives this to us when we travel.  In her own way, she’s giving back, and we give her (and others like her) a little extra before we leave.

Celebrating birthdays

Then there are those who just come to visit.  A proper visit before leaving is considered good manners and required of good friends.  This year, it worked out nicely that the holiday allowed us to go and visit many people and at the same time say goodbye.  For most friends, these brief goodbyes are sufficient, but for some friends, it is necessary to come by and visit us.  So the last day before we leave, we always expect a steady trickle of visitors.  We’ve discovered there is a sort of code.  If an islander says to you, “Have a good trip.”  Then they have officially done their duty and you can assume you won’t see them again until you return.  But if they don’t say that phrase— plan on them checking in on you one last time.  The neighbors in our apartment complex were like this.  We saw them multiple times before leaving, of course, and never once did they say, “Have a good trip!”  because they knew they planned to be there the moment we were heading out the door with our bags.  

“Have a good trip” they finally said. “Thank you! Good bye!” we told them as we trundled our bags out the gate to catch a taxi.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
It was an eventful and full week! The big holiday went well and we got to see and greet many of our friends. We were able to celebrate the birthdays of our teammate and our daughter (she’s 14!). We were able to pack up the house and our bags and leave well. We got our negative COVID tests, got to see several colleagues on the big island and made it to mainland Africa! The medical authorization hasn’t been signed yet, but they have been told that it will be ‘no problem’, that the Secretary General has talked to them and the person who needs to sign it will be back in a few days and will sign it without delay! May it be so! The new edition of our grammar book was able to be printed before we traveled! We finished the homeschool year! Our daughter’s old school friend came to visit minutes before we left for the airport (she lives far away and hadn’t heard that we were traveling), so it was a blessing that she got to say goodbye.



PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for us as we try to remember and honor the different requests made of us while we are off-island. Pray for our continued travels: for another round of negative COVID tests before our flight on Wednesday, for smooth connections, for our luggage to make it and for an easy transition to the US. We will hit the ground running and will have opportunities to share with groups within a few days of arriving in the US— pray that we would be prepared and guided in what to share. Pray for our kids with all the travels and transitions. Pray for our team back on the islands— for our veteran teammates stepping into leadership and our new teammate still adjusting and learning. Pray for the men that Tom has studied with regularly that they would continue to seek and learn in his absence. Tomorrow we visit the school in mainland Africa where are kids will likely go to high school— pray for a good visit and for key questions to be answered.