The Weight of Leaving

Packing in experiences while we can--on Maine coast

“So, are you ready to go back?” We’ve gotten this question a lot. A number of things pop into our minds: There is the approval from our organization and the plane tickets. There is the big to-do list that includes last minute shopping and packing. There are the final visits and saying goodbye, but maybe they are asking if we are emotionally ready?

Ultimately the answer is that we’re getting there.  

For many people traveling across the world with three kids in tow would be stressful. They would be worried about the airplanes, customs and flight connections. For our family that all feels like old hat. I mean it’s hard, but it’s not as hard as it used to be.  Our kids know the drill. They know about the long waits, about going through security, trudging through terminals with our carry-ons and about how to snuggle into a plane seat and enjoy the in-flight movies. That part doesn’t really weigh on us.

The packing is a pain. We sort all our things between what we have to take, what we will store or get rid of and things we want to take (space and weight permitting). This process is complicated by the fact that we are actively using a lot until the final day we leave, also we continue to get requests from people on the islands for us to bring stuff and we still have some shopping to do. So we don’t know where we stand— will we have way too much stuff for our bags or will everything fit easily? The uncertainty weighs on us as we consider what we’ll be able to bring with us.  Added to that is the fact that our travels include three different legs of travel, each with different rules for luggage allowances. For now we’ve been pushing off the logistical headache of packing but we feel it looming.

Picking pumpkins

Part of packing up and leaving is also saying goodbye to things that we’ve enjoyed having here— whether it is physical things (bikes, toys, games, shoes, clothes) or experiences (outings, parks, food). For the physical things, we have to make hard decisions (both for ourselves and our kids) about what can come back to the islands. For some things we’ve tried to prepare our kids for the disappointment of saying goodbye. At their birthdays they knew that they needed to ask for small things or live with the fact that we wouldn’t be taking it home with us to the islands. Whenever we see them clinging to something that is unlikely to make the cut, we make sure to warn them and encourage them to enjoy it while we have it! We also try to help them remember that there are things waiting for us on the islands that we haven’t gotten to enjoy here! As adults we’ve gotten more used to this part and we can even look forward to our simpler, less-encumbered island lives, but we still feel the losses sometimes, more so for our kids. Ultimately these aren’t the important things in life and we live fine without them, but there is a weight of sacrifice as we say goodbye after having them for 6 months.

Finally there is the saying goodbye to friends and family. Some people have casually asked, “So when will you be back in the States again?” When we answer, “Not sure, might be up to 3 years” we see their surprise. The world has gotten small and international travel is easier but Clove Island is still 4 difficult flights away and it’s not a trip we take lightly. The burden of a long absence and not knowing when it will end adds a weight to our goodbyes. In some ways we’ve gotten used to this too. Our kids are so used to meeting people, enjoying them and then saying goodbye that they often seem pretty unfazed by it. Sometimes we are grateful for their ease, sometimes we wish that they had lives where they hadn’t needed to develop that skill. We try to make connections that will last, we take photos, we exchange email addresses and promises to video chat, but it won’t be the same.

Our lives are journeys and we don’t always know what will be next. More so than in the past, we’re not sure what the next few years are going to bring. But we take comfort in a few things. One is a memory verse that our family recites regularly as we travel— the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9). Another is that we don’t have to have it all figured out.  We  just need to be faithful in taking the next step. We won’t make progress if we don’t keep pushing forward. So we prepare ourselves and step out knowing that we aren’t walking this journey alone.

Carving pumpkins!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful that, with less than a week to go, many of the details have fallen into place, we’ve been able to do fun things and see special people, share with a small group and get some of our packing done.  We’ve even had some miraculous days of weather where the storm clouds have seemed to clear before us and temperatures rise allowing us to be outdoors, enjoy the Maine seacoast, go on hikes, and be with people we love in COVID-safe ways.  


PRAYERS REQUESTED
Unfortunately, the father of our island sister, after appearing to be improving, suddenly turned worse and passed away a few days ago.  Pray for comfort for her and her family and that the community of islanders who walk in the Light would gather around her and encourage her.  We travel on Friday, so please be lifting our travels up.  Although we are travel veterans, we also know that prayers help a lot in making the way smooth before us, and there are some unknowns because of COVID.  Pray especially for our kids that they would have a good transition and be excited about going back to the islands. Please keep lifting up our old boss and his knee surgery this week.  May this knee be healed, and may our friend be greatly encouraged and not lose heart.