The Humbled Learner

Tom and friend at event

I was reading a psalm this morning.  It says,

“My soul makes its boast in the LORD;
let the humble hear and be glad.”

It’s a fitting word for this week as our team enters upon a week of intensive language study we call “language concentration”.  You might ask (as many of you do): “Don’t you speak the language now?  Haven’t you been there many years?”  Yes, we do speak the language, and by some standards you might say we speak it quite well.  But in other ways we are far from mastering it.

This is certainly an area where I (Tom) and Megan differ.  Megan is the leader and teacher of language concentration and I am the humble learner—or maybe, more appropriately, the often humbled learner!  Nothing seems to humble me quite as well as language learning.  It is a constant reminder that there are many things that I do that I am not very good at and that some of these things are important—like language.

Language Concentration tends to humble me in two very specific ways.  First there is the thought as we study some of these concepts that I should have mastered them years ago.  Why haven’t I figured this out yet?  Why do I still make so many mistakes?  That is always humbling.  Then there are the discoveries that happen during language concentration of things I’ve thought I’ve been saying correctly for years that are actually wrong and so I need to learn them all over again.  Why haven’t I realized this until now?  Equally frustrating and humbling.

And you can see how sneaky Pride can be in this.  For Pride tells me to give up in self-pity.  “I haven’t learned it.  I’ll never learn it.  I should have learned this years ago, so it must be too late now.  Maybe I should just be silent so that I don’t make so many mistakes.  Maybe it is the fault of others who haven’t corrected me.  Maybe I have been too lazy.  I should have studied harder.  I should have found a better language helper.  I should have given more daily time to listening and speaking.  I should have…” Eventually all of the should-have’s and maybe’s can pile up and make me feel guilty and down on myself and keep me stuck in a pit of language learning despair.

But there is an alternative.  I can be the humbled learner.  I can eat the humble pie.  Tell myself, “It doesn’t matter if I should have learned it years ago, I’m going to learn it now.  It doesn’t matter if I should have studied more, I’m going to study now.  Just because I’ve been saying it wrong for years, doesn’t mean that I can’t say it right tomorrow.  And though I will make many mistakes tomorrow, hopefully some of them will not be the same mistakes as before.”  The delightful thing about language is that there are always new mistakes to make!

The wonderful thing about this is, when I find this attitude—the humbled learner, who gives up boasting in his own strength—I find that, as the psalm says, I can “hear and be glad”.  Instead of kicking myself for things I haven’t learned yet, I can rejoice in the thought that I am starting to learn them.  Instead of being annoyed with the language and it’s idiosyncrasies I become fascinated by it.  Instead of focusing on what I can’t do, I can be glad about the things I can do.  I can see how far I’ve come and that the journey goes on.

Sometimes I’m tempted to think—How did I end up here, doing this work, struggling with these struggles?  Aren’t there plenty of other people who could do this (especially the language part) better than me?  But then an answer seems to simmer up inside that says, “Those other people aren’t here.  They haven’t come.  You have come.  You are here.  So what are you going to do?”  And so I go on, not because I’m good at it, but because I am here.  And I am glad to be here.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The kids seem to have transitioned well back to local school. Our colleague came to our island and had a successful vision trip, including an overnight stay to the southern tip of the island. We are thankful that all logistics went well for the trip. Our teammate has been studying with a neighbor woman, but also praying to be able to study with more than just her. This past week she had the opportunity to go to her neighbor’s home and study with her and three other women (plus kids) and they are all interested in continuing! Pray that this great opportunity continues.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for our continued efforts in language learning, that we would communicate better and better and that we would be good examples for perseverance as we encourage our team in continued language learning. Pray that our perseverance would lead to good news being explained with better clarity and better understanding. This weekend there is going to be a big gathering of brothers and sisters for the holiday. Pray that it would be a mutually encouraging time and that many would come. Pray for the unity and good relationships throughout. Pray that all those celebrating the holiday this weekend would be able to share with others about the hope and life it represents. This weekend is also the second round of voting. With the irregularities of the original vote last month, our island’s candidates all “won” outright, but the other two islands will have run-off elections on Sunday. Pray for peace, but also for freedom and justice. There have been increasing reports of islanders not having freedom of speech or press. Pray that these patterns would not continue and for greater communication and transparency between opposing groups. Our teammate back home in the US is preparing to come back next week! Pray for the final preparations and goodbyes and the funding that she needs before she returns.