Sharing Personal Stories

The photo shoot went on for quite a while. Islanders enjoy taking photos with lots of different configurations of people. So Mtsa wanted a photo with Tom, him and the two visitors and then with just him and the two visitors, and then with each of the visitors individually. He asked them multiple times if they would remember him, seemingly wanting reassurance that this encounter had been as meaningful for them as it had been for him. 

Visitors visit one of Tom's classes

Our two visitors had sat with Tom and Mtsa for hours, sharing their stories (with Tom working hard as translator). They shared about their journeys of faith and for Mtsa it was really his first time hearing other men (who weren’t Tom) talk like this. The stories were deeply personal and the impact on Mtsa was clear. Island men don’t usually share with each other like that. 

Tom’s friend, Fakhadi, loves to debate and is always trying to drag Tom into theological arguments. As we discussed with other expats this Sunday, other expats shared their frustration with island friends, who similarly only seem to want to debate and argue. Usually people like this aren’t really listening or engaging, they are just looking to win the argument, so discussions can feel pretty fruitless. But Tom shared the way that he has been able to redirect those conversations. He makes it personal. When he talks about his personal experience, suddenly Fakhadi will go quiet. Fakhadi wants to talk about ideas, not his own heart. 

Tom has been struggling to get the island brothers to meet monthly.. Ultimately, it isn’t actually monthly meetings that Tom wants. He wants to see the brothers engaged in each others’ lives, praying for each other, encouraging each other, holding each other accountable and learning to trust one another. None of these are happening presently, so Tom thought that monthly meetings (which the women do very faithfully) would be a good way for the men to begin to get to know each other better, to get in the habit of confiding in each other and hopefully of encouraging one another. 

So far it hasn’t really caught on. There have been a couple meetings, but without Tom there last month, a meeting didn’t happen. Even the meetings that did happen haven’t included much personal sharing from the island brothers. Tom was frustrated when the day after their men’s meeting he learned about something major happening in one of the brother’s lives, which the brother hadn’t mentioned at the meeting. Why wouldn’t he have shared that?

Being honest and vulnerable, admitting to struggles or showing that things bother you, it is a bit of a foreign concept for the men here.   Not that island culture is unique in that, lots of cultures discourage men from being vulnerable, but we see that it stops island men from finding unity and true brotherhood with each other.  We remember in English Club (which is mostly men) that we asked if they had anyone that they really trusted. Most of the men responded that they only trusted their mother. When questioned if they really didn’t have even one good friend that they trusted, most of them said they had no one like that. No one to tell their secrets to or to confide in. No one with whom to share their personal stories. 

Our son dressed for school play

No wonder it was so meaningful for Mtsa to have these two men share so deeply with him. They may have been foreigners, they may not have spoken his language, but they were willing to share more of themselves than most of the men around him. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful that this past week had fewer stressors than the previous couple weeks and that we were able to have a low-key weekend. We are thankful that our daughter is feeling better and that the flare-up of her rheumatoid arthritis resolved quickly. Our son’s drama performances at boarding school went well this weekend and we’ve been told it was recorded and should be uploaded soon so that we can watch it too! All reports are that our son did a great job. The water at our house has improved and we have been able to keep our barrels pretty full. Our two visitors made it safely to the small island and then to the big island, and another visitor (a short-termer on the big island) made it safely here to Clove Island today. The island women met last week and it was a large group, including one new face. There is a plan for us to gather as a large group and celebrate the holidays in December. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The men are meant to be meeting this week. Pray for the men to be motivated to meet and grow together. Pray for insight for Tom on how to proceed.  Pray for Ma Imani and her family— she and 4 of the 6 kids are currently sick. Pray for healing for that family. A new expat family with another group has arrived on Clove Island— pray for their adjustment to the islands (including their kids starting at local school and for their rented house which seems to have some water issues). Pray for the continued follow-up of the crises from the last couple weeks— may we learn from these crises and find clear ways forward for all the people involved. Pray for unity among people and clarity for the decision makers as different people advise on the next steps.  Pray for our two kids at boarding school as they have two weeks before their end of term exams and are starting to feel the pressure build. Pray also for our daughter as she wants to get her college applications in order by the end of term as well. 

Understanding

In our son’s homeschool, we have been studying the history of astronomy. Some great thinkers of the past looked at the night sky and tried to find explanations for why things moved like they do. Elaborate explanations and models were made. Some of them were able to predict a lot of the astronomical events correctly, but then they’d find that one thing was off. There was some star or planet’s movement that wasn’t explained with their current model. This was because one of their conclusions was wrong (for example, thinking the earth was the center of the universe) or missing a key piece of information (that heavenly bodies often move in ellipses instead of perfect circles). Until the wrong idea was corrected or the new idea accepted, the calculations wouldn’t fall into place. 

Afternoon sky over the islands (see the bats?)

Another example of this:  Our son has a 3D puzzle that has to be put together in a certain order. He’s memorized how to do it, and enjoys seeing people struggle to figure it out. The key is that if you don’t get two pieces into their proper places first, the rest will never fit together. Those early astronomers need some key ideas in place before they’d be able to understand the rest. 

This applies to people too.  People are complicated. Sometimes we see their actions and decisions and wonder what they are thinking! Our brains fill in possible motives and explanations for why people do what they do, but we can be wrong. We can create a narrative that explains the events, but it may not be right. 

Our island friend has been complaining about her family and how their actions towards her have been seemingly mean and inexplicably antagonistic. They are mad that she is studying English. They don’t want her to go to the doctor to follow-up on some medical concerns. They are upset  about her planting flowers around the house. It paints a picture of a really unloving, unkind, unreasonable and erratic family life. Our friend said she was clueless as to why her family is always bothering her. She isn’t good at reading people.  All she could think was that they didn’t love her and/or were jealous. But just this week, we finally learned the missing piece of the puzzle that helped the tableau all fall into place. 

Our friend’s family want her to get a job. She graduated from the local university awhile ago. She has left and/or refused a few jobs in the past that were not to her liking. This is in a place where most people are poor and jobs are scarce. To put it simply, they are tired of her being a financial drain on the family without contributing anything. That’s why they got upset when she decide to start taking English classes (which cost money). That’s why her going to the doctor again (money) rubs them wrong. That’s why her spending lots of time gardening (and not looking for a job) is a source of conflict. This was the missing piece of information that has helped us understand her family dynamic. Suddenly their reactions don’t seem so unreasonable or incomprehensible.  We may not condone their petty ways of showing irritation, but we can understand where they are coming from and why they are so frustrated. 

Son's 3D puzzle

We (Tom & Megan) are very thankful that we have each other— because sometimes we don’t understand people and it can be easy to make assumptions and judgments about their motives and/or priorities. In our better moments, we remember to challenge one another and imagine what missing pieces there might be that could explain or make reasonable that which seems initially unreasonable. 

Sometimes the needed insight only comes after a hard conversation, where we speak and act based upon wrong assumptions, only to receive information that reframes our understanding of the situation.  But we often need each other to help process and get a new perspective. We need to realize where we are filling in gaps of information with our own narrative and be able to realize that we could be wrong. Ultimately, we need to give people the benefit of the doubt, learn to ask questions and listen to the answers.

Astronomers went thousands of years embracing wrong ideas that frustrated any progress to truly understanding what was going on. We pray that we will be quicker than that at realizing our mistakes.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We’re thankful for a nice visit with people from our organization’s regional office.  We are thankful to hear that a new leader of the Coast Guard has been chosen which we hope will help the boat business get approvals and paper work more easily.  We have a new sister who got dunked over the weekend.  We’re excited to hear that her two adolescent children are happy for her and hope to go get dunked some day too.  We’re thankful that in the midst of crisis we have lots of great people whom we work with, who are quick to listen and not jump to conclusions.  We wouldn’t be able to endure these things without their support.  We’re thankful for the One who carries our burdens.


PRAYERS REQUESTED
It has been a difficult couple of weeks dealing with a couple of crises that have resulted in two families leaving the islands, one from the little island and one from our Clove island.  This has resulted in a lot of work, emotional stress, and sadness.  Pray for the colleague who is out of hospital but waiting for further test results.  Pray that she would be healthy and that she and her family would be able to return.  Pray for healing and safe travels for the other family as they leave.   Pray for the boat business to get paperwork and approvals more easily, for good personnel—especially experienced boat captains and mechanics, and especially people with these skills who have a heart for the kingdom.  It’s been difficult meeting with Muki and Mtsa lately because of scheduling and unforseen changes to plans.  Pray that we could get back into good rhythms of study and for them to be sharing with their family.  Pray for our daughter who is struggling with an arthritis flare up this week. Pray for our son who has a drama performance coming up this weekend. Pray for the island women as they gather this week to study and potentially to discuss plans for how to celebrate the holidays as a group. Our water situation hasn’t been great lately, pray that would water would come to our house so we can fill our barrels and cistern. 

Crisis Mode

 The past couple weeks has been a mini season of crises.

Making it back to Clove Island on boat

We talk about being in ‘crisis mode.’ Different personalities respond differently to crisis.  For some, this means a rush of adrenaline that gives them the energy and clarity to make decisions and push through until the end of the crisis— but if the crisis keeps going that energy-surge might leave them exhausted and burnt-out. For others, ‘crisis mode’ can mean that emotions are high and they are in a fragile and sensitized state. Things that would normally not be a big deal or even bothersome, might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back in a crisis situation.

Some of the difficult events of the past few weeks have not been serious but they have added to the sense of ‘crisis mode’ because each is just another stressor during a stressful time— so things like travel plans being canceled and having to rearrange our schedules, or the fact that we came home to a rat in our house which stubbornly refused to be caught in the rat trap, or even the fact that it has been really hot the past few days. They aren’t crises in and of themselves, but they are more things to potentially tire and stretch us. Crisis-mode is a hard place to be in and means people aren’t at their best. We need to have grace for ourselves and others in crisis.

We have not been at the center of the actual crises, but our leadership position means that we have been emotionally invested and have had roles in decision-making and in supporting those more directly involved and in facilitating conversations and answering questions with different levels of leadership.  Discerning what people in crisis need most can be difficult and as leaders we don’t always get it right. 

Finally got the rat!

Thankfully, God does not desert us in crises. He answers prayers— giving us pockets of rest and relaxation, bringing healing, and this week, literally making a looming cyclone weaken and change direction.  He provides the direction and energy that we need. He gives us good gifts along the way— finally killing the rat, finding some surprisingly good ice cream for Tom’s birthday, and the windy weather (instead of a cyclone) blowing away some of the heat today. 

We are praying that this season of crises is short-lived. We are praying that God would protect all involved and help us to learn from the mistakes that we make along the way. We’re tired and there are others even more tired, but we’re hopeful. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED 
The sick colleague from the small island was able to travel to mainland Africa with her family. She received care and was released from the hospital. There’s still some follow-up needed, but we are so thankful for the healing she has received and all the people on the islands and in mainland Africa who facilitated her care.  We made it safely back to Clove Island. The cyclone weakened and ended up going well north of us. Lots of answers to prayer.  We got rid of the rat that had snuck into our house while we were gone. The women had a well-attended meeting while we were gone and the one of the groups in our area is back to meeting regularly. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for colleagues that are still dealing with crisis and the lasting impact it will have. Pray for wisdom in tough decisions and for smooth paths moving forward. Continue to pray for the boat project— they have struggled to find trustworthy staff that understand their vision. Pray for the right people and for things to get easier— they have hit road bumps at every turn. Pray for Mtsa and Muki— that they might get back into a good rhythm of studying. The men didn’t meet in our absence, pray for a desire for the brothers to learn and grow together. 

Learning Patience

 I think we’ve learned to be more patient.  Tuesday I left the house, giving my kids a quick hug knowing that the errand I was trying to run might mean I wouldn’t get to see them again before they went back to school.  I was trying to pick up some medication for our eldest, the hope being, I would get it to her before they left and send it back to school with her, but we know how things go here, and so I said goodbye just in case things didn’t go to plan.

Doing homeschool in hotel room

This is not the first time we’ve had to be patient getting her medication.  In fact, we’ve had to be patient every time.  This time, as has happened before, the full amount of the medication was not available on the first visit, requiring a second visit.  This despite the fact that we have “a guy” on the inside whom we let know a week ahead of time to help streamline things.  Heaven knows what it would be like if he wasn’t around to help out.  But there’s still a lot of hiccups.  My visit to the pharmacy ended up taking multiple hours.  I missed saying goodbye to the kids and we had to arrange another way to get the meds to our daughter at school, and yet, somehow we were prepared for this outcome.  It was frustrating but not out of the range of my patience.

To add to the comedy of the situation, my Uber driver on the way home, asked if we could make a “quick stop” to pick up fresh batteries for his electric motorcycle.  Needless to say, it wasn’t very quick.  I wrote to Megan, “…driver is changing out his batteries, so I guess I'm learning patience today…”  It turns out, this was just a warm up.

Arriving for our flight back to the islands the next day, we learned once we were at the gate that it would be delayed by 5 hours.  We were told to go to the information desk to get meal vouchers.  After some patience required to reach the front of a very slow line, the kind woman behind the information desk informed us that our flight was cancelled…we’d have to wait until Friday (two days away) and they would be putting us up in a hotel.

On boat to small island

So we wrote this blog from a hotel room and reflecting on patience.  There was a time and place when such an announcement as we received yesterday at the information desk, might have caused great alarm.  What do we do?  What about all the things we will have to rearrange?  Should we look into another flight?  As well as anger with the airline—How can they do this to us!?  Are you kidding me?!  What incompetence!  I would be lying if I said that such thoughts didn’t go through my head, but not in the same way they once did.  Not in the heart-pounding, mind-exploding, emotional rollercoaster way it once would have.  Living here has taught us a degree of patience.  Here was just another opportunity to practice patience, like waiting for medication at the pharmacy or for my Uber driver to pick up new batteries.

I not only see how we’ve grown in patience, but we’ve grown better about anticipating the need for patience.  We put more margin into our schedules.  I know to hug my kids and say goodbye before going to the pharmacy.  We know that things can happen with travel to and from the islands, so we are more prepared for the unexpected.  We pack homeschool supplies with us and have everything we need to do admin work if we are delayed. We had lots of plans for the week on the islands (including travel to the small island and meetings with the team there), but everyone knew that things like this happen and we were all ready to adjust. These are lessons we have learned and they help us to be more patient.

In the end, plans change. The changes will be inconvenient and unfortunate and the like, but we will eventually arrive at our destination.  In the mean time, we can think about all that we’ve learned and try to appreciate the extra time we’ve been given—another possible lesson related to patience.  When travel plans fail, we have more time for other things—in this case, homeschool, writing a blog, or just getting some rest.  We can’t change the circumstances, so we might as well try to be thankful for them.  Thank you Islands, for teaching us many lessons about patience.

PRAYERS ANSWERED 


We are thankful for the time we had at the hotel, which included getting to swim in a pool (swim lessons with our son are so much easier in a pool than the ocean)! Since writing the blog we have traveled and arrived on the little island to run a small conference with the team there.  We are thankful that our boat trip to the little island was completely uneventful on calm seas.  We are thankful that that means Megan’s back was unaffected by that trip.  The new boat business is such a blessing—a world of difference in comfort, safety, and reliability compared to other smaller boats that take people between islands.  We had a few really good days with the team on the little island (we had to end a day earlier than expected but we are thankful for the time we had).  They’ve been serving there for a year and have really done well as a team and integrating into their communities.  It was wonderful to see how much they have accomplished and grown.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
A colleague from the small island is very sick necessitating travel to another country.  She has made it to the big island, but cannot receive the proper care with the limited services on the islands.  A whole team of people (including us) have been dealing with the stress and logistics of arranging for the care and travels of her family.  Pray for healing for her and safe travels for them to mainland Africa tomorrow.  We are also traveling back to Clove Island today.  Pray for our safe travels as well.  Pray for positive reconnection with our friends and neighbors there. There is a cyclone coming our way later in the week.  It doesn’t look too serious, but we are more cautious after last year’s big storm.  Pray that it would blow out, down grade and/or switch direction.  

Birds & Listening to the Holy Spirit

 This past week we attended leadership meetings.  It was held at a nice quiet spot.  In the morning one could go out and see and hear all kinds of birds.  Each morning you could see at least a dozen different kinds of birds if you were quiet and looking.  But more about birds later…

Weaver bird

This past week we attended  leadership meetings. It was not a huge group—just people from our region of the organization gathering together to listen to the Holy Spirit and to receive from Him direction for the years ahead.  It is not a simple thing, to bring some 30 people together and discover a single direction to go in.  Different cultures, languages, personalities, responsibilities, burdens, ways of making decisions, ages, and more, all come into play as you try to hear from the Holy Spirit.  Is it reasonable to think that 30 odd people can come to agreement—not by majority vote, but in unity with one heart and one mind?  So often that seems like an impossible task.  We are a diverse group, hailing from at least 8 different countries. Such diversity makes unity difficult to achieve. Would the Lord really bring us to a place of unity?

And yet, we are promised these things in His Word:

“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on His own; He will speak only what He hears, and He will tell you what is yet to come.”

“Holy Father, protect them by the power of Your name, the name You gave me, so that they may be one as we are one.”

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as You are in me and I am in You. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that You have sent me. I have given them the glory that You gave me, that they may be one as we are one — I in them and You in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity.”

So why should we doubt?  And yet, I had my doubts…could we really think as one?  

Southern Boubou ((c) Jaunne-Marelize Van Tonder)

This is where birds come in.  In the morning, as I sat with the Lord, it seemed like He took delight in pointing out to me the different kinds of birds.  I watched a weaver bird for quite some time.  There were red-faced mousebirds that love to bob up and down, up and down.  The swifts would dive bomb like World War II fighter planes and tiny little Cape White Eyes—which look like little balls of fluff—it’s a wonder they can even fly.  There were bigger birds too: guinea fowl, grey louries, and the ibis with their loud and obnoxious call.  And so many other bird calls—a few in particular that stood out, for their clarity and beauty—melodic calls that rang out like someone playing a few repeated notes on a clarinet or a flute.  One call in particular caught my attention.  It was three clear notes, repeated again and again, a sort of “loo-dee-loo.”  Thanks to the internet, I could look up all the names of these birds I was seeing, and even listen to their calls, searching for the illusive bird call, but I struggled to find it.  I listened to dozens of calls but nothing seemed to fit.  

The next morning I heard the call again—what was making that beautiful call?  In a bit of frustration, I prayed about it “Lord, you love to give good gifts, would you help me find the bird that makes that call?”  A moment later a bird I hadn’t seen before perched on a branch almost directly in front of me.  I noted that this bird was a Southern Boubou before it flew away and continued on with my quiet time.  It wasn’t until later that I had the thought, “What does the call of the Southern Boubou sound like?”  Sure enough, this “shy shrike” makes the loo-dee-loo call.  Along with most of the other beautiful, clear calls that I was hearing each morning.  The Boubou is rather prolific in its variations, making all sorts of beautiful calls and often doing so in duet.  Now as I listened, I heard it.  The calls and answering calls, the variations—not just “loo-dee-loo” but, “loo-dee” and “loo-de-whoop” and many others.  All those beautiful clear calls coming from the same source—The Southern Boubou.

And it hit me that this was not only the Father, giving me the gift of identifying a bird call, but also the Spirit encouraging me to trust Him.  The Southern Boubou can have all sorts of calls, but they all come from the same source, and they work in harmony with each other.  Is this not the same things the Holy Spirit would do during our meetings?  Many voices, many variations, but all coming from the same source, the same Spirit, weaving into one.  And so it was with our conference.  With all our diversity, we were able to find unity of thought and direction, because despite the variety of voices, they all emanated from one source.  When God’s people humble themselves and listen, the Spirit’s voice comes through with clarity and power.

With kids at a museum exhibit

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for all the leaders in our region and the opportunity to be with them and be inspired and challenged by them. We are very thankful that we got to spend the weekend with all three of our kids, having fun together. We are thankful that Megan was able to squeeze in a second PT visit in the midst of our meetings and for the improvement she has already seen in her symptoms. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for our region of Africa that there would be many who would catch the vision for working cross-culturally and that God would prepare the way for organizations and countries to welcome them. Pray for Hashiri that she would have peace and understanding within her family— she has sent several messages to Megan while we’ve been away asking for prayers. The young daughter of MaNadjma (our long time house helper) needs a specialist opinion for a health concern. Pray for peace for MaNadjma and that the diagnosis would not be anything serious. Pray for Madagascar as their government says that it is in the middle of a coup— pray for peace and justice to reign and for that country to return to a place of stability. Pray for our daughter as she continues to manage her rheumatoid arthritis— she has been struggling with more pain and fatigue this school term. Pray that her stress levels would be low (even as she prepares college applications) and that the changes to her treatment plan would bring relief without side effects. 

P.S. If you want to listen to some Southern Boubou calls : https://youtu.be/O_PpPnxM5JQ?si=GVs3ZwnbFFU_uMHP

Still Sticking to Your Guns?

 After I thought of the title for this post, I realized that I didn’t know where the expression comes from. I know its meaning— sticking to your position in the face of push-back or opposition—but the use of the word ‘guns’ makes it sound violent. So I looked it up, it comes from the idea of a soldier staying at their post and continuing to man their gun/weapon even under heavy attack.

Generally, I think of ‘sticking to your guns’ as being a positive thing, showing strength of character and commitment to your beliefs, but I wonder if sometimes sticking to our guns doesn’t create or prolong conflict. 

I have an island friend, a sister, who is very good at sticking to her guns. She will come to a conclusion or personal decision, often with well thought-out reasoning and then she will dig in and cannot be moved. In the past, we have applauded her ability to do this-- it has allowed her to stand strong and withstand persecution and temptation. This is a needed ability with all the opposition on the islands. But lately I have seen that sticking to her guns isn’t always a good thing. 

Ran into Clove Island friend at the airport

I come back to that noble picture of a soldier refusing to abandon his post as he fights off the enemy. It is a picture of war. But what if it isn’t a war anymore? What if the people approaching aren’t attacking, aren’t enemies? Suddenly the soldier sticking to their guns isn’t noble but unnecessarily hostile and combative. 

Our friend has some good ideas and thoughts about how other brothers and sisters should probably be changing and growing. She isn’t wrong, but she is fed up and has decided to draw a line in the sand, stand her ground and to make it a conflict. 

I guess the debate about whether to ‘stick to your guns’ requires contemplating some questions. Is this worth fighting over? Do we really want to call the people on the other side 'our enemies'? Is this a stand that God is calling me to make?

Heading to regional meetings

It is hard when we have an ideal in our head but then have the people we are asked to live and work with far from that ideal (or perhaps they don’t even accept our ideal as the goal). I have been encouraging our friend towards patience and bearing with others, to not declare them enemies and cut ties. I’ve tried to express it to her that sometimes we need to pray and allow God to work. He loved us while we were still sinners, his enemies, and he asks us to do the same for others. Sometimes we can’t just bombard people with our opinions, we have to give people time for God to soften their hearts and for them to come to those conclusions on their own. 

I think maybe I just don’t like this expression of 'sticking to your guns'. There is already a lot of war and conflict in the world.  I would prefer an expression that doesn’t commend guns—something that encapsulates standing strong but with a sense of perseverance, patience, hope and love.  Ultimately, we pray that we can find ways to walk with others, have the humility to fully consider their opinions and to help them to see our perspective without declaring war and seeing our brothers and sisters as our enemies.  Perhaps a single expression isn’t enough…

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:9-12

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We made it safely to mainland Africa for our annual regional leadership meetings. We’re halfway through and the first half has been encouraging. We thank God for the work happening across the region. Our youngest son has been having a great time playing with a bunch of kids near his age.  Megan got to see a physiotherapist and was given a bunch of exercises to aid in her back recovery. We had some encouraging reports from both the big island and the French Island of how God is moving in new ways and bringing more like-minded people together on the islands. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Tom is helping to lead some of the final sessions for the meeting where we try to bring everything together— pray that he can facilitate that time well and that as a group we could discern how God is leading us. Continue to pray for Megan’s back recovery, that the PT would help her to move in ways that will keep her back healthy.  We’ve heard that the gatherings in airport town haven’t been happening regularly since one sister traveled to the big island— pray that they would prioritize meeting and growing together.

Wanting Others to Succeed

 Can you rejoice in someone else’s success? Maybe that seems easy, or maybe you automatically sense that it depends on the situation or person. What if we elaborated…can you rejoice in someone else’s success when you are failing or struggling at the same thing? 

A view from hills on our island

It is a struggle that is as old as humanity. We see with the first two brothers that Cain is overcome by jealousy when his brother’s offering is accepted and praised and his is not— ultimately he let his jealousy and anger over the comparison lead him to murder. 

A friend and former neighbor sent me so many long voice messages this past month, many as long as 15 minutes. Her son has passed his Baccalaureate exam with honors and by all rights should be in line for a scholarship to study abroad, but she was struggling to know how to proceed and instead of asking other islanders (who would know much better the local scholarship systems), she kept coming back to me for advice and practical help. When I explained that we were not the best source of information and help, she insisted that she couldn’t go to other islanders for help. “There is too much jealousy. No one wants to help someone else succeed.” She seemed to feel that having a son do so well isolated her.

Our friend running the new boat business has run into many obstacles and frustrations, and some of the most prominent theories on why he has been given such a hard time have been that people don’t want the project to succeed, even if it can benefit the larger community and is a needed improvement on the older modes of transport. The problem is that there are all those owners of the older, smaller, generally-unsafe boats, who don’t want to see a better mode of transport arise and they have families, clout and influence. 

Another friend came to us just yesterday very upset because her sister had destroyed all her plants and flowers and had become violent when our friend tried to stop her. Growing plants at home isn’t that common among islanders and apparently our friend always got compliments when people came to the house and saw the flowers. She thinks that is why her sister wanted to destroy them. She didn’t like her sister being praised. 

People waiting for certificate ceremony on Sunday

We’ve had some friends from mainland Africa talk about an attitude that sometimes stops their communities from thriving and advancing. There was a proverb they quoted that went something like “the grass that grows tall gets cut”. The meaning being that you shouldn’t try to be better than those around you or you will be cut down to be the same as everyone else. Another person told us that where he was from ‘PhD’ was short for ‘pull him down’ because anyone who pursued advanced eduation was trying to be better than his people and needed to be stopped or at least humbled. While we agree that humility is good, we see that jealousy is not.  When individuals strive to be better and to try new things, it does not have to be done in pride, arrogance or competition.  When done with humility, it can help the greater community and can inspire others to do likewise.  

We hear these stories and we see this attitude of not wanting others to pull ahead among islanders and it grieves us, but at the same time, we can see the seeds of jealousy in our own hearts. 

We warn our new team members and remind ourselves that comparison is dangerous and can potentially lead to jealousy, resentment and discouragement. This comes up a lot with language learning. It’s hard when you are still struggling to piece together simple sentences to see your teammate using advanced grammar and already having deep and meaningful conversations with people.  But it’s also easy to succumb to the lowest denominator.  If you’re the best on the team, why not sit back on your laurels and take it easy rather than pushing forward? But it is in the team’s best interest to have the individual’s thriving and nuturing their gifts. 

Ultimately the challenge is to rejoice in the victories and accomplishments of others, allowing it to motivate or inspire us, while not allowing it to drag us down. And hopefully it goes without saying that we don’t want to hold people back or tear them down, we want to help each other succeed and reach even greater heights!  May God guard our hearts and help us cheer each other on!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are happy to hear that the interpersonal conflict that was holding back weekly meetings in one town have been resolved and that they are meeting again!  The boat with gasoline arrived and so the gas shortage is at an end.  Tom went to an English Ceremony on the other side of the island over the weekend.  Taxibuses don’t run in the afternoons over the weekend so he got a ride back on a motorcycle.  We’re thankful for a safe trip.  Tom completed another teacher training this past week.  The new teachers all did really well on their practicum exam.  Megan continues to have good conversations with Hashiri.  Muki and Mtsa continue to study well and seem to understand a bit more each day.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Two of the people Mtsa was sharing with left for the French island and probably won’t come back.  Two others seem willing to listen, but are not really engaging.  Pray for a change of heart there and for encouragment for Mtsa.  We leave tomorrow for 3 weeks of travel.  Pray for safe travels and good meetings.  Pray that the local groups which have been struggling to meet would have a new vitality and passion for weekly meetings—especially the one that recently overcame the interpersonal conflict.  Pray for the boat project—the need for reliable and honest boat workers is so pressing that our colleauge is traveling to a nearby country to look for staff.  Pray that the Lord would bless this endeavor with honest reliable people who can shine for the Kingdom. Pray for Hashiri as she struggles with conflict in her house and wants to be forgiving and loving in the midst of it. Pray for our kids at boarding school as they are facing a busy, stressful season.