Preparing for Change

 The year of 2026 is going to have a lot of change for our family. 

Daughter w/ friend leaving for university

In some ways we are old-pros at changes and transitions. With the amount that we have traveled over the years and had to switch back and forth between cultures— change is a constant. Yet some things have remained the same— especially within our immediate family, but it is those very things that are now going to change. 

What are the things that have been occupying our thoughts? First, our eldest will graduate from high school and go to university in the US this year. Second, our youngest will start at boarding school in the fall— a big change for him and for us as it will mean our house will be without kids for big chunks of the year. 

Over December, we helped our daughter with her college applications and in January we have worked with our youngest son to get his application for boarding school done. So these impending changes are looming in our minds with the question, how do we best prepare ourselves and our kids for these changes? 

Slightly further out on the horizon is another change. We have a young family that wants to join the work on Clove Island.  It will probably be a year or more before they come out. But they are asking us questions: “How can we prepare for life and work on Clove Island?  How do we prepare for this big life change?”  For that we have some answers.  Transitioning to life on the islands is something we have walked with people through on several occasions. So how do we do it? 

We try to set up realistic expectations. We try to give them a taste of what daily life will be like. We don’t shy away from the things that will be hard, but try to highlight the difficulties so they won’t be taken by surprise. We want them to be emotionally prepared for the hard things and help them  realize that such things are normal and expected, and that people get through them!  We sometimes suggest a few skills that can make life easier when they first arrive— like knowing their French numbers and learning how to make meals from scratch.  

At the same time, we also try to emphasize prayer! There are lots of ways that bringing a family to the islands can be difficult, but it does not mean all those difficulties have to happen. We can start praying for success in language learning, for the kids to like the local food, for good health for everyone, for good local friends right off the bat… We believe that prayer is powerful and effective, so as we anticipate potential difficulties, we want pray over them. Prayer also prepares our hearts for the things that won’t go well.  It helps us to weather disappointment, overcome discouragement, and persevere when it’s hard.  

Cookies to celebrate finishing application

As we’ve just considered how we advise the people coming to the islands, we’re left feeling more equipped to face the changes in our own family. There are things we can do to set realistic expectations, to anticipate what will be hard and to equip our kids and ourselves for the changes to come.  There are things we can start praying about now.  

But at some point the change will come. We won’t really know what it will be like on the other side until we are living it. We can speculate, plan and pray, but in the end—we can’t predict everything that will happen. Things will surprise us—some will be good surprises, others will be not-so-good surprises.  There will be hard days. But thankfully we have a God who goes with us—who is bigger than our problems, who knows the difficulties before they come and does not desert us on the hard days.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Ma Imani made it to the big island, saw the doctor and has a plan for follow-up care. We’ve had a bunch of rain that brings cooler weather and allows us to be more restful (islanders don’t go out if it is raining hard). Our prospective teammates made it safely home after their site visit and we had a good time debriefing their visit with our teammate. Tom was able to sit and reflect on the teacher training program and think of ways to change it to make it more doable far away (no complete solutions, but some ideas to develop more). Our youngest got his application done for boarding school next school year and our daughter has been accepted to a couple of colleges!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
While all the rain has been nice for us— it also means that farmers are seeing crops destroyed and the boat business hasn’t been able to run (straining their already tight finances). Pray for an easing of the weather so both farmers and the boat can see the fruit of their labors. Mpox has made it to the big island— pray that the cases would be contained and not spread.  A woman that Megan is studying with has expressed interest in being dunked, but Megan doesn’t think she truly understands what that means. Pray for true understanding for her and that her superficial excitement might shift to a fully-informed acceptance. 

The Fire Hose, the Slow Drip, and Taking the Plunge

 There’s a wonderful proverb in the Clove Island language that goes like this:

Sun setting on Clove Island

“Better a drop of water that falls each day ‘trwa, trwa, trwa’
    than a river of water that falls at one time.”

We’ve found this to be a very helpful proverb indeed.  It comes in quite handy with our friend Muki.  Muki loves to teach our new visitors some of the local language—he is an expert after all.  Yet in his excitement to teach them something, he quickly overwhelms them with a hundred examples.  We’re always telling him, “That’s enough!  They can’t learn everything in a day.  Trwa, trwa, trwa.”  Muki laughs and seems to back off saying, “You’re right, you’re right—but just say these ten more phrases!” And launches back into the river of language our guests can’t possibly understand.  

His enthusiasm considered, we don’t set up new people with Muki as a language helper.  We try to find someone patient, who will go slowly and can resist the urge to add 5 more, 10 more, a hundred more phrases.

This proverb is also helpful for eager English students.  We’ve had English students determined to write down and memorize all the vocabulary from a dictionary.  Needless to say, there are much better ways to learn English.  Reminding students that they need to go slowly, that they will need lots of practice, that they shouldn’t get discouraged, that they should keep going even if they don’t see progress, are all very helpful reminders to English students, reinforced by this simple proverb.

We have a similar saying in English.  “Drinking from a fire hose.”  The idea being that it really doesn’t work very well—drinking from a fire hose.  You get very little water down your throat and you get drenched, soaked and bruised in the process.

For all our good advise to our language helpers and our English students, we’re afraid we have trouble remembering this wisdom when people come to visit us.  We’ve noticed that what seems like a simple and innocent question never seems to have a simple answer.  We find ourselves saying things like, “Well, let me back up a bit,” or “To understand that I need to tell you about something else.”  No, despite our better judgment of “trwa, trwa, trwa” we’re afraid that we often turn on the fire hose and drench our visitors in language, history, culture, technique, methodology, values, flavors, smells, people, visits, and places, that they leave them looking a bit dazed, confused and overwhelmed.

Taking our guests for a hike

Could we be better about this?  Surely we could, but it’s difficult.  Another saying comes to mind—  “taking the plunge.”  As nice as drops of water are each day for learning, sometimes we have no choice but to jump in.  That’s what it feels like when people come to the islands.  They’ve just jumped off the edge of a cliff—the world they knew—and are plunging down into a mysterious tropical pool far below their feet.  There’s no turning back.  You will get wet.  You will be plunged under the water and will have to fight to bring yourself to the surface.

We’d like to think that all the information we give our visitors is helpful, like a life ring, thrown out to help them find their way, to give them something to lean on, let them catch their breath in this strange murky pool in which they find themselves treading water.  But we wonder if sometimes, instead of a life ring, we accidentally throw a bucket of water—dousing them again in confusion and information that they simply can’t handle, can’t take in.  It’s hard to get the balance right.  When people are with you for a short time, when they ask lots of questions, when they seem eager to understand, it’s hard not to turn on the fire hose.

Maybe this is the difference between a short visit and a long visit.  For a long visit, after the initial plunge, we try to slow it down.  We put them in a home, get them settled and help them learn language, culture, methodology, etc.  bit by bit, step by step, day by day.  

But for a short visit—We throw them in, fish them out, and send them on their way, bewildered and befuddled, hoping they will be able to process and grasp some of the significance of the experience on the flight home.   

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our visitors doing their weeklong site visit made it safely, were thrown in for a plunge into island culture, life and work, and were sent on their way today and made it safely to the big island. Despite some sickness, their visit went well and it was good to get to know them and to consider together what it might look like for them to come and join the work here. The men had their gathering and Tom was encouraged by how it went.  Megan was able to watch the livestream of the funeral of her uncle and celebrate his life and how he blessed others. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We have had a stretch with lots of visitors and hosting— pray that we could rest well this week and get back into more normal rhythms. Pray for Tom as he brainstorms new ways to do teacher training- he has several far away villages that want him to do teacher trainings with them, but it would be very difficult to manage with the bad roads increasing commute times significantly. Pray for a breakthrough idea that could work. Ma Imani has traveled to the big island in the hopes of catching a visiting specialist there to check on her health problems. Continue to pray for us that she would find healing! Our island sister Elewa has been trying to encourage the local brothers and sisters to pray and be open to God using them in powerful ways in 2026— she believes it will be a big year for the islands— let us pray with her that it might be so. 

Insights

 A few days ago when we reading the story of Isaac and Rebekah, Mtsa sighed, pausing in the middle of the story and said, ““Aha, it’s happening again.  This is the same thing his father did.”  Muki shakes his head and laughs at this surprising turn of events. They’re fully engaged with the story. 

A few days later we read the story of Isaac being tricked by Jacob.  Again they were enthralled by every trick, every lie. “The voice is Jacob’s but the hands are Esau’s.”  Laughter and delight, dismay and surprise. 

I love it when the stories hit them with all the surprise and power of a new story.  These stories that I practically know by heart, can often carry little emotional power for me.  But when I read them with Muki and Mtsa I remember just how good these stories are, how compelling, how real.  That’s something that Muki often says, “They are just like people today.  People haven’t changed.”

I also love reading with them for the cultural insights they give. In ways, their culture is closer to Isaac’s life than mine and so I find myself benefiting from the insights and the similarities of this place and culture.  When Jacob is told to go to another place until his brother’s anger is forgotten—Muki and Mtsa say, “Yeah, that happens here too.  If things get too hot, a guy will move to one of the other islands for awhile until things calm down.”

When thinking about the pressure to take a second wife if the first wife isn’t haven’t children they told me, “Oh yeah, people here call it a ‘bad return on your investment.’ You aren’t ‘making any profit.’  So you need to find another one.”  This is a reality that they understand and connect with. 

Then there are the insights that seem to come from no other place but from divine inspiration.  When you read a passage and Mtsa says, “He was doing the best he could, but he doesn’t have the Holy Spirit like we do.”  Or, “This blessing is talking about someone else isn’t it?”  

Getting back into homeschool

It isn’t always this way.  Sometimes we read a story and struggle to find things to say.  Sometimes, our studies get off on rabbit trails that take us far away from whatever it was we were meant to be talking about and it’s hard to get them back on track. (It’s especially hard to get Muki back on track.)  But more often than not, even with stories I don’t expect to make a splash, our studies together result in insights, connections and truth that I could not have anticipated.  What a wonder.  What a joy.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for islanders reading and engaging with the Word in their own language. The women’s gathering went well— with a good study and discussion. Our prospective new teammates arrived safely on the big island. Despite flight cancelations and tight connections, our colleague on the medical team made it safely back to Clove Island after months away. The group on the plateau has officially registered and been approved by the island government— this is something that most islanders didn’t think was possible, making others think and pray about whether more groups should do likewise. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for the couple doing a site visit with our team this week. Already their interisland flight was canceled so instead of arriving today, they will arrive tomorrow to Clove Island. Pray for flexible attitudes and that they would see and experience what God wants them to experience so that future plans can become clearer and confirmed. There were some missing faces at the women’s gathering— including the new sister. Pray that these sisters would be connecting and studying with others on a regular basis. Pray especially that Dunga and this new sister could make a strong connection, as they live in the same town. Pray for Ma Imani— she is not feeling well and it is not clear if it is just manifestations of the stress of parenting 6 kids (4 of which are not hers) or if there is something else going on. Pray that she and her husband would work together to make sure she gets times of rest and that she would find healing. The men are supposed to have their gathering this week— pray for a good turnout and for deeper, honest communication among them. 

Efficiency

 The contrast couldn’t have been greater. We approached the immigration area of the airport and there was no line. We walked to a machine that scanned our passport and took a photo of our faces and then the automatic door opened and we were through immigration! We couldn’t believe it— it had taken less than 60 seconds total! Compare this to the islands. On the islands, immigration can take up to an hour, with long lines, slow interactions, malfunctioning equipment and a general feeling of crowded chaos. But now in this different country— 60 seconds! Who knew that something like immigration could be done so efficiently. 

At an English ceremony- not known for their efficiency

What is your gut reaction is to the word efficiency? We have known people for whom efficiency is their highest goal— and they find great contentment in being able to arrange things and complete tasks in the most efficient way possible.

Efficiency strikes us as a positive thing— it is something that we value, appreciate and strive for when possible. Not that we want it at the very top of our priority list. For example, at a doctor’s office, efficiency could dictate that the patients are funneled through with quick consultations in a way that feels cold, impersonal and leaves them feeling uncared for. So we don’t want to sacrifice everything for the sake of efficiency. We would prioritize things like health, safety, comfort and relationships over efficiency, but otherwise we are irritated by inefficiency. 

We have learned that most islanders are different. They seem to tolerate a huge amount of inefficiency. Until recently, we would have said that they are just resigned to the inefficiency that comes from mismanagement and corruption.  But our colleague with the boat business has challenged us by saying that islanders actually see efficiency as a bad thing. This was a somewhat shocking statement to us, but he explained different situations where he has been fighting island staff and officials trying to make his boat business run more efficiently and how much pushback he has gotten. 

Final outing of break

Then we thought about the new electricity meters. We would tell our island friends that we understand that the electricity company likes the new meters because they are so much more efficient for them. But our island friends never seemed to recognize this efficiency as a positive. One friend pointed out that this efficiency means that people lost their jobs. The painstaking process of reading the meters every month and hand-delivering the bills employed several people. Now they aren’t needed anymore. Also, this efficiency means the process of getting electricity is less personal— you can’t argue with a meter or ask a machine for a little more time before power is cut. 

We started to think about all the offices on the islands—typically there are a bunch of people sitting around doing nothing with only one person doing any work. We have seen this as a hallmark of island inefficiency— people being paid to do nothing. But islanders see that as a room of people with jobs. For a country where a vast majority of adults are unemployed, this example of inefficiency is therefore seen as a good thing. 

Upon reflection, we were also struck by how much efficiency seems to encourage a more task-oriented approach. In a culture that is more relationship/people-focused like the islands, it is easy to see how efficiency would get a bad rap. Efficiency has us move quickly from one thing to another. It sees time as a limited resource. Islanders want to take their time and they see rushing as a sign of wrong priorities. 

Thinking back to that 60-second immigration process— we didn’t have to interact with a single person. There was only one employee at the entrance if people had issues, but there was no one needed for crowd-control, there were no immigration officials, no small conversations or smiles with fellow travelers in line— it was incredibly efficient, but also completely impersonal and provided a lot fewer jobs. 

We still value efficiency, but we can see where islanders are coming from— maybe we can meet in the middle and value both efficiency and people at the same time!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our two older kids made it back safely to boarding school. They were able to get the schoolwork and college applications done! We had some nice final days as a family. An island sister was able to gather some of the people that didn’t make it to the potluck to study and enjoy a meal together. We’ve had a few rain storms that have helped break up the heat. Our annual English club party was very small, but we still had a fun evening. Our daughter got to share truth with an island neighbor friend. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The women will be having a gathering this week, pray that the new sister would be able to come and that she would feel welcome and comfortable in the group. Megan broached the subject of Hashiri’s neurodivergence with her yesterday and it sounds like it was new information for her. Pray for Megan as she follows up with her and tries to find out what resources are available to help her. We have a couple interested in joining our team who are coming to do a site visit next week— pray for us as we prepare for their visit and for them as they prepare to leave their two young children at home.