Marking the Years

Ready to watch a streamed gathering on Sunday

On the islands we have often noticed that some islanders are totally oblivious to dates. This is partially because the major events of their year aren’t based on our solar calendar. This means they might not know that it is the 29th nor that we are in the month of June, but they may still know how many days it has been since the new moon or what lunar month it is. This lack of (or perhaps different) awareness of time passing extends also to the counting of years.

It is most striking when we ask older islanders for ages— their ages, the ages of their children, the ages of their parents. I don’t know why I even ask sometimes because the ages they give can be so clearly wrong that my guess would have been better.  We’re told a toddler is almost 4 years old, or a boy’s grandma tells us he’s six when he towers over our 7 year old.  They always attempt an answer but often it is clear that someone’s actual age is of very little importance.

Other markers often take precedent over age.  For example, they talk about how far along someone is in school, whether they are married, if they have grandkids. The exact ages aren’t that important.  For islanders, these life stages tell us a great deal more about a person than a number.  Often a number is given to indicate which life stage someone is in.   I remember when I figured out that someone being “100 years old” was more a code for being “really old” than an accurate age description.  It didn’t matter that on their papers the person was listed as 75, they will stand by their estimate—“100 years old!”

Distanced Reconnecting with old friends

Ages tend to be flexible and relative. If a scholarship is only available to people under 30, suddenly our friend is still in his 20’s.  If everyone else in your class is 16, well then you’re 16 again too! If there are discounts for children under 2 years, you can bet you’ll have some 2 year olds who look very big for their age.  Islanders seem to have few qualms about manipulating dates and years to their purposes, but for them it is more about function. Who cares how many years I’ve been alive? I want that scholarship or I don’t want people to know I repeated grades or I’m willing to travel with my kid on my lap.  After all they might not even know the right answer so why is being exact important?

On a similar note, I know better than to ask a group of islanders what year something happened. You can get as many answers as there are islanders to that kind of question. Your only chance being if the islanders in question can agree that it was the same year as the World Cup or something else with a verifiable date.

Generally I would give a good-natured eye roll at the year guessing done by islanders, but being back in the States, I am feeling a little humbled about my own awareness of the years. I may know how old my kids are, but I have my society’s practices of celebrating each birthday and repeating their ages with every introduction to help me remember. But I can’t tell you how many times I have been way off in the past few months when I’ve tried to estimate the number of years that have passed.

“You guys are like newlyweds, right?”    Actually we’ve been married for three years.
“We last saw you four years ago?”     No, it’s been over 10 years!
“He must have started college by now.”   He already finished medical school and started his residency.

Kids trying for distanced play

It turns out our gut feelings about time passed is not much more accurate than our island friends. Given time and concentrated thought, our accuracy improves, but it just goes to show that we can be just as oblivious to time passing as islanders. And maybe this is a sign of how the islands have impacted us, but most of the time it doesn’t seem like the exact number is that important anyways.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our conversation with our new teammate’s elders went well! Thank God for technology! We got to meet with several of Megan’s old school friends and their kids. What a blessing to connect after several years apart (even if it had to be with distancing measures). Tom’s island friend has continued the conversation and even brought someone else to join the dialogue. We keep praying.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Megan’s brother drives up on Wednesday to join our household. Pray for his safe travels and for our transition to a household of 8! Our colleagues and friends on the French Island have been meeting with a group of expats and want to be intentional about the group’s vision and direction. Pray for unity and clarity as they move forward and for some individuals who are resistant to their focus. We have the opportunity to speak this Sunday to a group here in CA- pray that we would speak well and be a light to others. We’re encouraging our teammates on the islands to get to know our new teammates— pray for these beginning relationships on our team that they would have good and strong foundations.  Our teammates are still trying to maintain some distancing measures, but some schools are reopening on July 1st and many islanders only carry face masks to avoid fines, but really use them. Continue to pray for them.