Turned for Our Good

 It has been our experience that transitions are also times of spiritual warfare. Our routines are upset, we find ourselves in unique situations and the devil sees opportunities.  We thank God that He can take what the enemy means for evil and turn it for our good. Lots of the workers on the islands are in times of transition, so we’re praying not only for protection during these transitional months but for opportunities to share the good news!  Here's a little story of God's grace  in the midst of testing:

Tom with troublesome phone

I was tested this week by an African telecommunications company.  My SIM card was acting quirky so I thought I'd stop by the telecommunications shop in order to get it checked.  When I got there, there were about ten people milling about.  The line didn't seem overly long and I didn’t have whole lot to do that afternoon, so I thought I’d sit it out and get my problem taken care of.  But the line barely moved and one and a half hours later, my patience was starting to wear thin!  I sat listening to the people behind me complain about what the hold up was while I could see the man at the front of the line sitting and waiting for the man at the counter who was busy doing something else.

There were a number of times when I had to tell myself to be patient and ask the Lord for more patience.  I was at the point where I was starting to wonder, “Should I just wait this out, or is this an exercise in futility?  Will I get to the front of the line and they’ll say, “We’re closed, come back tomorrow.”   When a security guard walked up to me and asked, "Do you have your passport?" “Yes, it's right…..(checking my empty pocket). No, I don't!"  I turns out I had dropped my passport going through mall security.  But because I hadn't left the mall but had spent the last hour and a half at the telecommunications shop, they were able to find me.  The security guard asked that my place in line be held and took me down to his office to retrieve my passport.  I came back up ever so thankful for the long wait for two reasons:  First, if I hadn’t had the long wait, I might have left the mall without my passport and then security would not have been able to track me down.  Second, if I had waited 2 hours to be seen at the telecommunications shop and then been unable to produce my passport, they wouldn’t have been able to provide me service and I would have certainly despaired.  But as it was, the Lord gave me back my passport, I held my place in line and about a half hour later (total of two hours), I was helped by the telecommunications staff.

Sparklers for Independence Day

When I finally made it to his desk, the staff member said, "You must be a marine or something to be so patient with us."  I said, "If I am patient, it is because of [J].”  And we had a nice little chat about the importance of prayer and he shared that he used to pray all the time but had gotten out of the habit.  I said it would probably help in stressful work like his.  So God took something painful and turned it for my and this man’s good!  May we be able to see Him in everything we do.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED


The unrest from the previous week has calmed on Clove Island. The monthly women’s gathering happened at one of the local sister’s houses. We were able to finish the homeschool year with our youngest son! We are thankful that imaging of Megan’s injured shoulder (from a couple months ago) does not show a serious injury and she can expect a full recovery. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Today is Independence Day on the islands— pray for the islands nation on its birthday that it would embrace truth and justice, that there would be good governance and bright hope for the future. There have been a few recent situations with island brothers and sisters facing extra scrutiny and even threats from family members— pray for their protection, for them to stay strong and know how to respond in wisdom, truth and love. There is a problem with the processing of Tom’s passport renewal— it wasn’t flagged for expedited service as it should have been and so will not arrive in time. Thankfully, the embassy has agreed to process an emergency passport for him at no extra cost— pray that getting the emergency passport goes smoothly. Our daughter graduates a week from today— pray for her as she says goodbye to her friends and her school home. Pray for our older son as he has his final exams this week. May they finish well. 

Is Cheaper Always Better?

 “Cheaper is always better.”  It is an unspoken value which seems to pervade the islands and if we’re honest can make us quite frustrated.  

New boat option with kwasa boats in backround

Our friend has started a boat business.  He is providing, reliable, comfortable, safe, daily, ferry service between the islands for a reasonable price.  Something that has not existed before.  Before this boat business began there were basically three ways to get between islands: 
1.) Pay a lot of money to fly. 
2.) Take the big boat which goes once a week, but can’t be relied on to leave the same day every week, and doesn’t go to the little island.  
3.) Take a kwasa—the island word for a small boat used for passenger service.  They are extremely uncomfortable, unsafe and unreliable, but they are cheap (if you want to read about some of our experiences with kwasas, you can click on one of these links:)  

Now this new boat service is providing affordable ferry service you would think they would be turning people away—but instead they often struggle to fill the boat.  Why?  It seems that cheaper is always better.

There are no reliable delivery services in the islands—especially between islands.  We are not sure why this is, but we suspect it is because of the cost.  Why pay for something when you can probably find the service for free?  The truth is, most people expect to be able to deliver things from one island to another through their network of friends and/or the kindness of strangers for no fee at all.  It is a given that when you arrive at the local airport there will be people there holding packages, both large and small, that they plan to send to another island via one of the people traveling that day.  The people traveling are expected, if they have any extra kilos, to willingly offer them to those people looking to send a package to the other island.  The local airline is very obliging and usually the recipient will be waiting at the airport on the next island to claim it.  If such things can be expected, why pay for the service?  This is frustrating to us, because a reliable delivery service would be something very helpful. It seems like a great business opportunity.   But in the islands, where cheaper is always better it’s not clear if a business like this could compete with the free way of doing things now (even if it was safer, better and more convenient).

Tom is no longer the tallest

Clothing, appliances, electronics, food:  When cheaper is always better, it means quality is hard to find.  Since nearly everything is imported and companies like Amazon don’t ship to the islands, islanders are dependent on what the local importers decide to import.  In this scenario the ‘cheaper is always better’ mentality hits you twice.  The importers are buying the cheapest products they can find partially because they know their clientele want the cheapest prices, and partially because they believe it themselves.  And thanks to fake branding, it is impossible to trust the brand written on the product is genuine (Adidas, Samsung, etc.) so there really is no point in paying more for something when you have no more trust in the “brand name” quality than the non-brand name.

There is an exception to this principle because there is another value at play:  “New is better than old.”  In a place where honor and shame are prevalent, often having something new trumps “Cheaper is better.” Like much of Africa, there is a huge used clothes business at work.  Clothes rejected or discarded by Americans and Europeans make their way to African used-clothing shops for dollar store prices.  A prudent buyer can find quality, brand-name products (Levi’s, American eagle, North face, etc) if they are patient and look carefully.  Compared to the new clothes that fall apart after one wearing—this is an example when cheaper really is better!  And plenty of islanders buy from the used clothing markets.  But not always. Despite the cheaper used clothes, many islanders still buy expensive, low-quality new clothes because they are new.

One can only speculate. what the result of this “cheaper is always better” value on the society, but it has some drastic implications when applied to things like safety, health care, and infrastructure— we lament how quickly ‘new’ roads on the islands start to fall apart because of the cheap strategies used in their construction. 

But what could it mean for faith?  What does a cheap faith look like? The story goes that a man found a treasure in a field and sold all he had to buy the field.  This is not cheap faith.  The story goes that a pearl buyer found the most exquisite pearl and sold all he had in order to buy it.  This was not cheap faith.  If people aren’t aren’t willing to pay the counted cost, they may willingly miss out on a treasure whose value can’t be fathomed. The cheapest way is not always better and we pray that more islanders would realize that. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for the medical and dental appointments that we have gotten done this past week.  We’ve been able to connect with different people from the islands both through phone calls and in-person with other people passing through mainland Africa.  Our youngest has enjoyed playing with the other kids and our older kids have gotten to enjoy some of the end of the year fun with their dorms.  

PRAYERS REQUESTED
There was some tensions and unrest on Clove Island this past week connected to an arrest made— things have calmed but there are concerns that there could be more trouble in coming days.  Pray for peace and that if there is injustice that islanders could find effective ways to protest without violence or destruction of property and that they would be allowed to peacefully protest by the government.  Tom has applied for a new passport, pray that it arrives in time for our planned travel.  Our daughter as a senior has just one week of classes in high school — pray that she could finish well. Pray for Hashiri back on the islands— she messaged Megan today and it sounds like she has taken to consulting AI for all manner of advice- pray that she could have more connections with people and that she might pursue others to study. This week the women on the islands should be having their monthly meeting— pray that this meeting still happens in spite of Megan’s absence.

Haircuts and Father Figures

I called out a greeting as I walked through our front gate.  Suddenly a little boy was wrapped around my legs giving me a big hug and calling out my name.  I smiled and laughed in surprise (islanders aren’t usually big huggers). It was little Nambo, our househelper’s 4 year old. Behind him making a polite greeting was his sister Nadjma.  They had come so Nambo could get a hair cut!

Cutting Nambo's hair

I’m not sure how it came about exactly.  I think MaNadjma (our houshelper) must have spied our hair clippers and saw a way to save a little money and asked if I (Tom) could cut shave his head.  Men cut men’s hair in this culture, so even though Megan is the more experienced haircutter, MaNadjma came to me for the favor.  So that’s how it came about that little Nambo comes by once in awhile for a free haircut.

I don’t see Nambo that often.  Once in awhile MaNadjma will bring him to work and he’ll play quietly at our house.  He used to stick close to his mother’s leg, shy of us.  But somehow haircutting has helped overcome his shyness and now I can expect warm greetings and hugs!

I wonder about Nambo.  Like so many kids here, he has no father.  MaNadjma has had 3 marriages and looks close to a fourth one.  Nadjma is the result of the first marriage which was only a month long and traumatizing.  Nambo’s father was the second and the only good marriage of the three.  He was a loving father both to Nambo and to Nadjma, despite her not being his biological child.  But Nambo’s father died suddenly while he was still very young.  We suspect now that his father knew he was sick, but he never told anyone.  Even today, we don’t know what exactly was wrong with him, but MaNadjma has said that when it became clear he was going to die, he didn’t seem surprised. 

So Nambo, like so many boys and girls here, is growing up without a father and few father figures.  Unstable homes are so prevalent here that when we meet someone whose biological father is still married to his biological mother we are genuinely surprised.  It is a sad reality that for many kids, their father is more of a stranger than not.   

Our friend Bako is now a father of 3.  He tells us often how much he has learned from watching us.  He always appreciates marriage and parenting advice—and even puts some of it into practice.  He never really knew his own father and so he is eager for a better example.  

There is a large group of kids on the corner of our road— they are all siblings and cousins and the three sisters who are their mothers often leave them to their own devices, even though the kids are quite young. We have never seen a father with them. They had gotten into the habit of greeting us in a rude way, so Tom gave them a little talking-to and since then they yell his name excitedly and politely whenever they see him and come up to grab his hand and have small conversations with him. His attention made a strong and positive impression on them. 

Nambo and Nadjma are growing up without a father. They’ve already had 2 father figures come and go.  So we’re conscious of the fact that Tom’s role in their life could be very important. When we asked MaNadjma about the new man she may marry, she had little to say to comfort our misgivings about another marriage.  When we asked if he was a good man, she told us his name.  As if that would somehow answer the question.  Will this one stick around? Will he love these children that aren’t biologically his?  Will he set a good example for them?  We hope that these two kids will find a loving father here on earth. We also pray that they will come to know their heavenly Father who loves them more than they can know. 

Fathers' Day dessert!

PRAYERS ANSWERED

We managed to make it to mainland Africa with all our bags and despite our youngest son suffering from food poisoning!  He threw up one final time at the airport—but managed to make it through the trip and was feeling much better the next day.  Tom had no trouble submitting his passport for renewal.  We’ve been able to be around for our older son’s choir concert and to take our daughter to her doctor’s appointment.  We were able to celebrate Father's Day together as a family. Hashiri messages regularly and says that she continues to read and study.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for all the children growing up in broken homes in the islands.  Pray for all the adults who have grown up with poor examples, know no other way and so perpetuate the problem.  Pray that the example of loving marriages and good parenting would be a powerful witness of good news for many.  Pray for Muki, Mtsa and Hashiri to continue to study, and for the Lord to supply their needs while we are gone.  Muki especially struggles to find his daily needs.  May the Lord provide for him in powerful ways.  Pray for all the work that continues while we are away, especially for our teammate, who will be alone in the capital while we are away.  She will maintain contact with the other team on Clove Island, but the 3 hour bus ride does limit their ability to support each other.  Pray that she would feel supported and safe.   Pray for our kids as all 3 finish up the school year in the next few weeks—for final projects and perseverance to the end. 

Growing in Generosity

 We are told that it is important to be generous.  There are many proverbs and verses reinforcing this idea. And yet, I see in myself that I am not overly generous by nature. It is something I continue to grow in.  I have not figured it out yet.  I recognize that it isn’t meant to be legalism but a heart posture flowing from my love of God and others, but sometimes, even when I am generous, my heart is not.  My hand gives with a grumble.  My mind questions my actions. 

Tom giving his time for ceremony

When I lived in America I thought of myself as generous.  Though we didn’t have a lot, we did a good bit of charitable giving to different organizations—more than the 10% baseline.  When we went out with friends, we would often be happy to pay for the meal.  Things like that felt good and were relatively easy to do.  It’s true, we didn’t usually give money to strangers or to homeless people.  We were taught (and perhaps rightly so) that this exacerbates the problem.  “If you give a drunk money, he’ll just buy more alcohol.  So giving to him doesn’t actually help him.”

This taught me to be circumspect about giving. Then we came to the islands, and initially my old understandings of generosity seemed to work and were reinforced.  There were a lot of books out at that time like “When Helping Hurts” which were offering a needed corrective to naïve, disconnected giving.  In our first years we saw the practicality of being cautious about giving too generously as the first people to approach us as foreigners were the ones who knew how (or thought they knew how) to work the system and get money out of foreigners.  The false sincerity, lies, and damage we saw them doing not only with us but also to the sense of trust and community among local brothers and sisters was enough to confirm our approach to generosity as a good one.  

But as time passed, year after year, my old understandings of generosity stopped working.  They needed to change. Life simply demanded it.  How did life change?  I began to understand island people, their culture, their understanding of generosity, but most of all I got to know islanders.  My deeper friendships demanded that I change.  I had a choice between growing in my understanding of generosity or giving up my friendships to hold on to my old views.  That battle still rages in my heart, but I am learning.  

Here are some of the lessons I have been learning:  
Generosity is all the time.  There are many beggars in our town.   Most of them are handicapped in some way.  They make their living through begging.  It is understood by islanders that this is their lot in life.  So when I walk through town, I should probably be ready to give to the beggars I see.  I should leave the house with some change in my pocket.  All too often I forget to bring anything and must pass them by without giving them anything.  Every time I do this, I feel a tug at my heart—I just missed an opportunity to be generous because I wasn’t ready for it.  I wasn’t ready for daily generosity.

Friendship is harder when faced with real poverty.  I have become friends with some very poor people.  We may not seem rich to you, but compared to many islanders we are so rich and some of my friends are so poor.  Muki lives in a tin shack that is 10ft square.  He sleeps on a dirty mattress on the ground.  He gets one good meal a day.  Many times he comes to my house hungry.  I do not like dependency.  It is something we need to avoid.  I worry that Muki cannot separate the good of the things we study from the good of the food I give him to eat.  But I also don’t know what else to do.  I don’t want to see him go hungry.  I try to be generous with him, but sometimes he asks for so much—‘give me food’, ‘give me medicine’, ‘give me money for a taxi’, ‘and when you come back from your travels give me a phone’.  It is tremendously difficult knowing when to say yes, no, or “here’s something else instead of what you asked for.”

Friendship involves giving.  That seems obvious.  Isn't that what love is all about—putting someone else’s need before your own?  And yet, I’ve come to realize that I expect a lot of reciprocity in my friendships— I don’t like when giving is mostly one-way.  I also usually don’t expect friends to “go out of their way for me” unless it is a special situation.   But islanders (and I think they’ve got this right) see going out of your way as very much part of friendship.  Friend’s are meant to go out of the way for one another.  Friends are meant to give each other gifts.  Friends will do their best to help their friends even at the great cost of personal time and resources.  To deny such things to a friend is to break relationship—or to say, we aren’t really friends.

But the biggest lesson is that generosity is personal and relational.  Giving online to a charity is great and easy—and impersonal.  Giving to your poor friend who has gotten to the end of the month, run out of money, or his boss hasn’t bothered to pay him this month, and he asks you to pay his electricity bill and you wonder if you are creating dependency and have to decide how much to give—do I pay the full amount or give a contribution or should I refuse this time?  Should I give as gift or just as a loan?  Giving like this is complicated.  It’s not easy.  It’s very personal.  

Our son on big island

I still struggle with this.  I grumble and roll my eyes when someone keeping asking me for just one too many things.  Sometimes I still say ‘no’ when I should say ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ when I should say ‘no’.  I struggle to get it right.  But I’m thankful for the struggle.  My heart needs stretching in order to grow and God in His grace loves to bring people into our lives who stretch us.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The men had their monthly gathering, several men came and there was good discussion. Our youngest son traveled by himself to the big island and had a good weekend with our friends there. We were able to pack up and close up our house. Tom was able to do one final English ceremony the night before we left. We were able to give away some stuff and bless some friends as we left. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We are in the middle of travels to mainland Africa and our youngest son is not feeling well. Pray that he could find healing and energy to last him through our travels. This week Tom has an appointment at the US embassy to renew his passport, pray that he would get his new passport without any delays. Please be pray that those with whom we study regularly, that they would continue to study and grow in our absence.  Our fridge door is broken. Pray that it can hold together until we get back to the islands and be a blessing to those who might use our house while we’re gone. 

Washing Feet

 How do you feel about feet?  Are they smelly and stinky and something you never want to touch?  Or are they just feet?  I don’t feel strongly about feet.  For me they’re just feet.  But I find island feet kind of fascinating.  It being a hot tropical place, most people wear some kind of sandal, often a very simple flip-flop.  You will see people wearing shoes and socks sometimes, but the majority of people who come by are wearing sandals.  Moreover, island culture demands people to take off their shoes when entering a home or stepping on a mat.  The result is, we get to see people’s feet quite a bit.

Most common sandals

Our friend Ananas (he’s the one who sells us eggs and bananas at inflated prices) is a part time farmer.  He often wears the flimsiest of flip-flops which seem redundant with his large, flat, hard, calloused soles.  The cracks in his callouses on the sides of his heel are canyons, crevasses you could put your finger in.  He is missing a number of toe nails.  He has some impressively tough feet.

Women will sometimes put henna on their feet.  It is traditional for a bride to receive guests while sitting on her bridal bed, her feet sticking out in front of her.  Very often those feet have been decorated with henna—sometimes in intricate designs.  Women must take more care of their feet, because I don’t notice their feet being cracked and calloused like men’s.  Pumice stones are naturally available here, so it’s not too hard to find that helpful tool for looking after feet.

Muki’s feet are somewhere in between.  He still has all his toe nails and though his heels have some cracks they are not the deep fissures of Ananas.  I had the privilege to hold them in my hands a few weeks ago.  We were reading John and came to the part about foot washing.  As soon as we started to read it, I thought, “I should wash his feet.”  I think every time we read this passage we should wash each others feet.  We’re told to!  “For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.”  Here’s how it went down with Muki.

We read the passage as we normally do a study and then started to discuss the implications of it.  We talked about how it really is a challenging passage as the “teacher” is serving others in a humble way.  It’s so different from how people in authority act on the islands.  Those with honor, status and authority never do menial jobs.  It is beneath them.  Even husbands refuse to wash dishes in the home and will call it “women’s work.”  

Ready to wash!

The study was going very well and I was getting ready to say, “Okay, let’s do it.”  When Muki paused and said, “So, I have a question.”  “Go ahead,” I replied.  He looked a little sheepish.  “So if he was their teacher and he did these things…well, you’re kind of my teacher…so would you…?”  Immediately I got up and said, “Wait right here.”  I went out and got a towel, a basin and a pitcher of water, then I came out and set it before him.  With a big smile on his face he put his feet into the basin.  (I was expecting one foot at a time, because that’s been my experience of how it’s done, but Muki was all in.)  I washed his feet.  He was silent as I did it.  His feet were quite dusty and took some attention.  The water and wiping washed that all away.  Then I dried his feet with the towel, and went back to my seat.  We continued to talk about the passage a bit more, but it was clear that actions had spoken much deeper than words.  His face was delighted.  He prayed with a deep joy and went on his way grinning with his clean feet.

I don’t come from an honor and shame culture.  I don’t know that it would matter very much to me if my teacher or leader wanted to wash my feet.  I would see the symbolism in it and accept it as a good thing.  But I can see now that it means so much more here on the islands.  A simple act of humility carries a powerful message.  I have only the honor that comes from being a well-off foreigner teacher.  How much more for the King of the world to stoop down and wash his friends’ feet!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for these opportunities to put words into action. Women’s gathering was a good study and was well attended. Megan was able to study with Hashiri and an island sister— this was an encouraging study and eye-opening for Hashiri to interact with an islander much further on the journey than herself. Our two older kids had a nice midterm long weekend break. We are thankful for friends who were able to host them. We haven’t gotten a new hinge for our refrigerator door but we are thankful that the door has stayed on and been functional in spite of the broken piece. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The men are meant to meet this week— pray that many would come and that they would be learning to trust and care for each other. Our youngest son travels on Saturday to the big island by himself (something his older siblings also did as part of their rite of passage into young adulthood). We will follow him a couple days later. Pray for smooth travels and for it to be a good kind of stretching for him. Pray for him also as he packs up everything that he’ll want for boarding school and says goodbye to his local friends— may he leave well. One of the newer sisters is facing a lot of pressure from her family members— pray that she would continue to stand strong and know how to respond to her family. Pray for her kids as well as they watch their mother weather this experience. Ma Imani’s daughter and step-daughter are being bothered by teachers at school that don’t agree with their parents’ views. Pray for these two teenagers to have peace, patience and wisdom beyond their years. 

Hanging Out with God

Studying the Word with someone in a different language and different culture continues to be an eye-opening experience.  It is challenging in so many ways.  Start with words.  Language is not as simple as a word for word transfer.  We many know the word for something in the local language, but that doesn’t mean it carries the same definition.  Take the word, “notebook,” for example.  When you think of a notebook, what do you think of?  I think back to my school days and think of a ring bound US Letter sized booklets usually around 100 pages with single spaced lines down the page and left and right hand margins.  But when you say notebook here, while it is in a general sense the same thing—a book of lined sheets of paper, an islander will think of a half-sized (what they call A5), staple bound booklet with both vertical and horizontal lines of about 50 pages.  Similar but not the same. 

Island 'notebooks'

Not a big deal, surely.  But it often becomes a big deal with more important words like prayer, love, peace, and sin.  Imagine if your only idea of love was the romantic/sexual kind!  It would be very confusing to hear someone talk about “love” between a mother and child, or between people and God.  Sometimes it is matter of finding a different local word. Perhaps in English we have one word, while they actually have multiple.  But what if they don’t have a different word and therefore don’t even have a concept of what you are talking about.  You can’t know what you don’t know, right?  So how do you change a person’s understanding of a word ? 

It is possible.  But it takes time.  We can begin to understand words in new ways with repetition and experience.  I see that happening with brothers and sisters on the islands.  I see how certain words become more popular in their vocabulary and other words fall away. Once a new concept makes an impression and they find a way of expressing it in the local language, then they’ll keep coming back to those words. 

I also see how they begin to understand concepts in new ways.  When you think about it, prayer is not just a word, but a whole complicated framework of ideas, forms, histories, and more.  It takes time and repetition to infuse a word like prayer with new meaning.  That’s why it was a beautiful moment when Muki prayed the other day.

“God, we thank you that we can be here and study and angadza with you.”

I first learned the word angadza in regard to our children.  The children angadza, which I took to mean, they are playing together.  Did he really just say we are playing together with God?  But then I remembered that angadza is also the word adults use to talk about spending quality time together—hanging out.  

Muki was saying, “God we’re so glad we get to hang out with you.”

Tom with latest batch of teachers

I hadn’t told him to say it that way.  I certainly hadn’t used that word in my prayers. It is certainly not how the majority faith thinks about their interactions with God.  But Muki had learned something about prayer and the relationships we can have with God, and he expressed this new understanding simply and beautifully.  We’re so glad we get to hang out with God!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Things remained calm on the islands (though people were not pleased when the president visited, it was peaceful).  Our visitor had a good visitor (he called it ‘eye-opening’) and made it home safely. We heard some encouraging reports about some gatherings of local brothers and sisters— with moments of power and boldness.  We had some good opportunities to share the Word this past week—including during the big local Holiday.  Tom finished his teacher training class and feels good about this new batch of teachers.



PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for women’s gathering this week— that many would come and that they would encourage each other. There is a desire to connect both Hashiri and Muki/Mtsa with other islanders— pray that we would find islanders excited to support and encourage them.  We will be traveling in a couple weeks.  Pray that we can start getting things in order with our house, our work, and our relationships as the departure date approaches.  Pray for more people to come join us in the work out here.  We’ve seen a number of people have to leave in recent months and have not yet found people to take their places.  The door hinge of our refrigerator is broken!  It’s still functional, but we have to be careful when we open the door.  Pray that they can find a new hinge and fix it so that we don’t have to worry about the door falling off.  

Shoe Disaster

Tom and I needed to visit a friend’s family. His stepfather had died and we needed to stop and give our condolences to the family. We decided to walk— it was a longish walk and quite a bit of it uphill, but it was still too short to justify taking a taxi in our minds. I dressed in the traditional clothes that women are supposed to wear for a such a visit and grabbed my nicer shoes. We were about to walk out the door, when I remembered that my go-to ‘nice’ shoes were sliding off my feet a lot lately and would bother me on the uphill and then downhill return trip. So even as Tom was walking out the door, I dashed back, opened up our shoe bin and grabbed out some other sandals. 

Megan's poor blistered toes

I hadn’t worn these sandals for a long time, but it seemed to me that they would work better that my other shoes. A couple blocks into the trip I realized that I may have made a mistake. The straps were stiff from not being worn in so long and were digging into my toes strangely. I was probably going to have blisters. We passed a few shops with women’s sandals out front and briefly considered buying something, but nothing looked like good quality. Lots of products on the islands don’t last because of poor quality. I could buy something and have it fall apart on the first wearing. I kept walking. 

We were half way to our destination when one side of the back strap broke away from the left shoe. It was annoying and made me walk a little funny, but it was okay. 

Next, one side of the back strap on the right shoe went. Now at least I was even with both shoes flopping in the same way. It was better than being lopsided. The shoes were still digging into my toes, but it was working. 

As we neared the house, the other side of the back strap on the left foot gave way. The once sturdy sandal was only hanging on my foot with the two thin straps around the toes. I had to drag-shuffle my feet to keep them on. It was becoming comical, but it didn’t seem appropriate to trouble a grieving family with my shoe mishap. I shuffle-stepped to the house and we were properly somber for the visit. 

We got up to leave and I shuffled away from the house. Once we were out of sight of the house, I told Tom that I didn’t think I’d make it all the way home. We decided we’d look out for something on the way. But we were in a residential neighborhood and it was a Sunday afternoon so lots of shops were closed. We didn’t see anything. I was walking slowly and awkwardly and the pain in my toes was getting bad. 

The defeated shoe

I don’t think it was the sandals’ fault. They weren’t low quality.  There is another reason why things don’t last here: the climate. The heat, humidity and salty sea air has a corrosive effect. Glue gives out, plastic cracks, electronics die. In this case the glue holding the shoe together had given up the ghost. The islands climate was claiming another victim.

I could almost see the main road when one of the toe straps went. Two more steps and it was over. The destruction was complete, there was no more shoe to speak of. 

Now in another culture I could have perhaps walked home barefoot, but not on the islands. At least not all the way across town and definitely not while dressed nicely for a visit. I sat down on a bench next to a couple of old men working on a boat engine while Tom went to the main road. 

In around 10 minutes, my hero was back with some simple sandals for me to wear home. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our island brother was able to get medical treatment in mainland Africa and is safely back on Clove Island. We have a visitor from mainland Africa, come to see and understand the work here— it is exciting to see more and more Africans excited about the work on the islands. The strikes are over and life on the island has gone back to normal for now. Our son did a great job in his drama performances this past weekend. Our daughter recovered from her illness and didn’t have a flare-up afterwards. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Continue to pray for peace and good governance on the islands. There continue to be concerns about the price of living and potential shortages. At the end of this week is a big local holiday, pray that we could use it as an opportunity to share truth. Pray that our visitor would have a good visit and catch a vision for how he and his organization might encourage the work on the islands. Pray with us as we consider how to connect the people that we study with regularly with island brothers and sisters in meaningful ways. Pray for our teammate in her work at the hospital— several colleagues are away or not working much meaning she is sometimes the only one there for her department. Pray that the hospital could find more people to work in PT/OT. 

Brokenness

 Sometimes the brokenness of the world is overwhelming.  I can feel it on a large scale when I think of wars in Iran, Ukraine, Gaza, Sudan, Mali, and more.  I can feel it when I think about friends and family going through rough times—money problems, addiction, grudges, depression, sickness.  I can literally feel it when I ride a taxi-bus over roads so broken they don’t seem like roads anymore.  I know this world is broken.  And most of the time I can live with it.  But sometimes, it feels like too much.

Beautiful sunset amid strikes

The whole world has been thrust into a fuel crisis because of the war in Iran.  This has hit the islands pretty hard, and not just with fuel.  Dubai is one of their major trade partners and one of the major stops of the shipping route.  The ships that make rounds between China, India, and the Islands also stop in Dubai.  When the war broke out, some of those ships were stuck in Dubai and the shipments to the islands stopped abruptly causing shortages and leaving some business owners with little to sell. 

That was bad enough, but then about a week ago, the government announced a price increase on fuel.  (Fuel prices are fixed by the government.)  Fuel has always been a bit contentious here—one of those things that shows the brokenness of this place.  Despite the fact that the government buys very low quality fuel—such low quality that it causes engine damage—it charges extremely high prices—twice the price you would normally pay at the pump in the US!  In response to the global price shifts, the government raised the price another 25%.  This was too much for a population where many struggle for daily expenses.  A general outcry arose.  The next day the taxis went on strike.

Over the following days, more and more organizations joined the strike—teachers, fisherman, business owners until it felt like the whole nation was on strike.  Commerce came to a standstill.  Even personal vehicle use was discouraged.  Protests erupted in several places around the islands.  Many of these protests were peaceful, but most were angry.  In many places roads were blocked and fires were started.  To our knowledge there was no looting, but anger was mounting.  On Friday, a protest became violent on our island.  A few people were shot and killed by the government forces.  The next day the government was in negotiations.  They agreed to suspend the price raise on fuel.  Did it take the death of protesters to bring about this change?  Oh, the brokenness of this world.

“Don’t worry” our neighbors said, “Things will be back to normal on Monday.”  Today, Monday morning, taxis are running again! Commerce is back up and going.  But wait, taxis are charging inflated prices!  Gas stations are still charging the 25% increase!!!  What is going on? I went on facebook for answers.  Since gas stations had to pay more for fuel during the crisis, they want to get their money’s worth on the high priced fuel they bought.  In turn, taxis having to buy this high priced fuel are charging their customers more!  What??  Doesn’t this go against everything the strike stood for??  Shouldn’t those gas stations have refused to buy fuel at those prices?  Shouldn’t the taxis refuse to pay for more expensive fuel? Wasn’t this what the strike was all about? Will people stand for it?  

New blooms on our porch amid strikes

Apparently they will, as long as it’s temporary.  

For some reason, this hurts more than the corruption and price hikes, or the striking and violence.  If after a week of unified strikes and protests across all three islands and getting the desired concessions from the government, the people are still having to pay the elevated prices, then what was the point. All of it is broken, so broken.  And the root cause is not a government, or corrupt leaders, but the human heart.  

Perhaps you read this and marvel at the state of things on the islands or maybe it just makes you think of the brokenness you see if your own country or community.  Brokenness is everywhere. So we need to pray.  We need to allow our hearts to break and become burdened so that we pray to the one who has power over the human heart.  Oh Lord, have mercy.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
In the midst of strikes, we had some good times studying with Muki, Mtsa and Hashiri. There were also beautiful things like sunsets, new flowers and cool constellations. We are glad that after a week of strikes that people are able to return back to work and businesses to reopen. We were able to find local guardians for our kids while they are at school! We are thankful that some of our plans for this summer are coming together. Megan was able to gift Hashiri with a printed Book in the local language and she has been faithfully reading it everyday. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED

Pray for the islands-- for constructive change, for peace, justice and changed hearts! We mourn with those families that lost loved ones in the protests. We also the mourn the loss of a friend and colleague— a godly woman who worked to share her passion of reaching the lost with many— she died suddenly and leaves a hole that will be hard to fill. Because of the taxi strikes, men’s gathering did not happen— pray that they might be able to reschedule or find other ways to encourage each other this month. One of the island brothers has traveled to mainland Africa for medical treatment— pray that he can find good medical advice and relief from his symptoms so he can return home without too long a delay. Our daughter wasn’t feeling well today and couldn’t go to class— pray that this illness would not cause a flare-up in her arthritis and that she’d be feeling well tomorrow. 

Complicated in Different Ways

 A week ago we were on the French Island.  We call it the French island, because although being part of the same archipelago, that island is part of France, not part of the island nation we live in.  So despite being geographically close, with the same ethnic heritage, the same people group, the French island abides by the laws and customs of France—and that makes life very different.  Being so similar and yet so different, naturally arises comparisons in our minds.  Moreover, we interacted with many people on the French Island who have never been to Clove Island, Vanilla Island or the Big Island.  They were curious to know about the differences.  How did life work over there?

View of French Island (and visiting cruise ship!)

As we listened to and observed our friends serving in the French Island, one word kept coming to to our minds—complicated.  Life there is complicated.  They deal with so many things that we don’t on Clove Island.  For example: Their city is truly international, having people of different races, backgrounds and nationalities.  There are many from mainland France, but there are also many refugees from places like Congo, Rwanda, Somalia, etc. Moreover there are the undocumented immigrants from our islands and, of course, the original ethnic people group of the island.  They must navigate not only many different cultures, but many different languages, and people with many different motivations for living there.  Then there are the challenges of French government, religious views and laws implemented in a place of a very different traditional faith and government.  Add to that the complication of a large, poor, undocumented immigrant community leading to injustice, poverty, violence, gangs, and racism. 

Moon over French Island

Life there is complicated and as I listen to my friends share about their lives and the relationships they have to navigate and the many factors they must consider as they shine their light, I found myself thinking, “We have it easy on Clove Island.  Well not easy, but a lot less complicated —one people group, one government, one set of cultural rules, etc.”  After a week on the French Island we were ready to return to the uncomplicated life of Clove Island…

Did I say uncomplicated???

We took the boat back to Clove Island.  When it arrived at port the door opened.  In walked the port authorities and local police.  The doorway was on the side of the boat and naturally there were many paths for disembarking.  For some reason, these police officers felt it necessary to tell us all to make a long line snaking through the interior of the boat.  Most of us got into this line and waited patiently for this slow, nonsensical line to move.  I noticed that certain people were allowed to skip the line.  Why?  Well, it’s complicated.  They were probably a friend of the policeman or they held a position of power.

Finally leaving the boat we went to immigration.  To get to immigration you walk through a narrow hallway where officials are constantly asking to get by you in order to get to their offices.  Once through immigration, you pass back the way you came to a room where we are told to wait.  For what?  No one really knows.  

The baggage is being unloaded.  Are we waiting for those bags?  Maybe, but no one will tell you anything.  They finally let us out of the room only to wait behind a temporary barrier where we can see lines and lines of bags.  Why did they let us out of the room only to wait at the barrier?  Suddenly, and it seemed unplanned—more like a wall being breeched than an intended opening of the gates, everyone pushed the barrier aside and descended on their bags.  

Waiting for the luggage to be unloaded

By this time it was getting dark and the area where all the bags were laid out is unlit, so we are all peering at hundreds of bags, some using flashlights, as a hundred people force their way forward, falling over each other and bags.  When bags are found, you have to return the way you came—more jostling, pushing, falling over, but now with bags in tow.  You will fight your way back through the gate, back through the waiting room, cross the line leaving immigration, to get to customs.  

The confusion and complicated mess continues through customs, through exiting the crowded and chaotic port area, through dragging your bags on a confusingly long and unmaintained, dark path with thick dirt, until you finally find yourself on a road where you can catch a taxi home.…Welcome to Clove Island, where life is so simple! 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful that God calls people to each uniquely complicated place in the world and equips us to live and serve there. Our two older kids both made it through their AP exams! Our daughter is officially an adult and we are very proud of her. Our youngest has officially been accepted into the same school as his siblings for next year. The women’s gathering was a large group this month and there was some good discussion. We were encouraged by how some of the women have improved in health and situation. Despite some original difficulty, the men have picked a day and time for their monthly men’s gathering!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray that men would come and engage with each other during men’s gathering. There is currently a general taxi strike on the islands to protest the steep and abrupt rise in fuel costs. Pray for resolution and for poorer islanders as the cost of living continues to increase. The other organization that works on our island has a bunch of their team leaving in a couple months. This follows a trend of island teams shrinking— pray that the trend would reverse and that many new workers would feel led to the islands. May we be blessed by big, healthy teams. Planning has begun in earnest for settling our daughter into the US and college this summer— but she doesn’t graduate high school until mid-July so the transition time will be short. Please pray as we make plans that we would make wise decisions. We need to find new guardians for our kids (adults that live within 3 hrs of the school and can take our kids in the case of an emergency) as the current ones won’t be in the country next year— pray that we’d find the right people. 

Motorcycle Taxi Diaries

 The town of Nimodo lies 20 miles south of our town.  How long does it take you to travel 20 miles?  20 minutes? 30 minutes?  An hour if there’s traffic?  An hour and a half if there’s really bad traffic?  Does it ever take you two hours to go that far?  It does on Clove Island.

A view of Nimodo

The road between here and Nimodo was not in great shape. Then the rains came.  The damaged road was no match for heavy rains that tore up the potholes and ripped open the cracks, washed away the asphalt and left a ghastly mess.  There is hardly a patch of road left that isn’t gashed, pitted or rutted, the rest are just piles of broken gravel and asphalt.  The result is an extremely slow and bumpy ride — 2 hours to go 20 miles.

I was doing this twice a week this past month for the sake of a teacher training program in Nimodo.  Every Wednesday and Sunday I would leave the house at 12:30, catch a taxi and arrive in Nimodo around 2:30.  (Thank God for interesting podcasts to listen to.) Then I would teach from 3-5:30pm and then have the long ride back to look forward to. 

But there’s a problem there.  With the road being the way it is, the taxi buses aren’t running as often as they did.  Finding a bus after 5pm is hit or miss.  I wasn’t interested in staying in Nimodo overnight, so I asked the organizers for a better solution.  I told them, “If you want me to come do this training, you’ll need to figure out a guaranteed way to get me back to my town.”  The solution they proposed was a motorcycle.  Someone would give me a ride on the back of a motorcycle when the class was finished.

This has been a pretty good solution before.  A motorcycle is cheap (requires less gas) and faster as it can avoid a lot of the potholes (although these days the roads are so bad, it isn’t  much of a faster—shaves off 10 minutes tops).  I’ve ridden on the back of a motorcycle so many times at this point, that I’ve bought my own helmet, despite the fact that I don’t own or know how to drive a motorcycle.

The teacher training group

There is something wonderful about riding on the back of a motorcycle.  You get to experience the island’s beauty with 365º freedom of view.  Being on the back, you don’t have to be overly concerned about the road in front of you (although you do have to keep an eye out for the pothole bumps).  At the end of the trip, I arrive bottom-sore and windswept, but mostly, I really enjoy the ride.  Until the last Sunday…

That Sunday, the teacher giving me a ride couldn’t get the motorcycle he usually uses.  I waited around 30 minutes while he called around looking for something.  Finally a guy pulls up with a motorcycle, we hop on and head out.  It’s now about 6pm and the sun is setting and it quickly becomes apparent that this motorcycle has no headlights.

“Don’t worry,”  the teacher yells to me from the front of the bike.  “We’re getting a better motorcycle in the next town.  It’s my half-brother’s.  Brand new.  Very Nice.  Not like this one.”

That’s all well and good, but we still have to make it to the next town.  As darkness descended, I was praying that his eyesight was better than mine, because I couldn’t see a thing.  In fact, I was praying generally that we would be okay.  Sometimes a motorcycle or a car would pass us.  For a moment, their headlights would light our way, but soon we would be on our own again.  The sky continued to darken and my prayers became more fervent.

Just then a taxi pulled up behind us, lighting our way beautifully.  Only, he didn’t choose to pass us.  Instead he followed us, as if he wanted to help us out.  In fact, I wonder if he did it on purpose.  Islanders understand about broken down vehicles, perhaps he was just doing us a kindly service.  Or perhaps he just wanted to go slow.  Either way, it was an answer to prayer. He followed us all the way into town.  After another long wait, the good motorcycle was ready and the rest of the trip was uneventful.

I’m happy to say the training in Nimodo is finished!  No more motorcycle trips—at least for a little while.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for light to guide our paths! We are thankful for our time on the big island and French island this past week and for smooth travel to the French Island and back home to Clove Island. We’re thankful for the good work being done on the French Island and for the faithful witness of our friends there— it is a difficult and complicated place but we see God’s hand at work. We are thankful that the group on Clove Island were able to gather together as a larger group this past weekend and celebrate the group’s birthday! We are thankful that we were able to bring more copies of the printed book in the local language with us from the French Island.  

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for the women’s gathering this week and for discussions on what to study next with them. The men should meet the following week, but already it is seeming difficult to find a day when the main players are available. Pray for our colleagues on the big island as they continue to process their son’s medical needs and what it means for them. We are still waiting to hear if our youngest has a spot at boarding school for next year. Pray for an answer soon. Our kids in mainland Africa will begin AP exams this week— pray for good concentration, low stress and good health at this time. 

Does it Make a Difference?

 Our youngest son was being asked to organize an activity to help the environment. He had already identified some of the major threats and problems in our local environment, but he was quickly overwhelmed by the size of the problems versus what we could accomplish— how could we do anything that would really make any difference? 

Reef trash collection

We encouraged our son that he didn’t have to solve an entire problem in a single activity, but we could do something. We brainstormed some ideas together and he thought about it. Ultimately we decided to do something about trash in the ocean.

We’ve talked about it many times— trash is a big problem on Clove Island. The worst part is that islanders don’t seem to care very much. They don’t seem to understand the beauty of the island that they call home, and then they don’t seem to see the damage that trash does. 

Ultimately, our son’s activity was two-fold. For the first part, we picked up trash around the coral reef off the beach not far from our house. This was trash that had already found its way among the coral reef and was endangering the coral life. We had our snorkels, tongs, and a mesh bag attached to a floating kickboard. We collected a big bag of trash. 

Then for the second part…on the next day (which happened to be Earth Day), we shared at our English Club about what we had done. None of the islanders at our club had ever swum among the coral reefs off their island home. They didn’t know about all the types of fish and life that can be found there. We talked about all the trash that we saw underwater in the ocean and its impact. 

Other environmental problems came up as we discussed, but we also heard the real challenge—how can you force poor people to care about the environment when they are just struggling to get food for that day.  Taking care of trash the ‘right way’ costs money and takes more time. We talked about the fact that an entire mentality has to shift. 
 We shared how in the States there were/are places that struggle with trash, but there are campaigns against polluting (‘Give a hoot. Don’t pollute.’) and anti-littering laws put in place, so that at least for us, we grew up seeing littering as a bad thing to be avoided and punished. 

Some club members suggested that they needed to start in the schools and educating the island kids in the hopes of changing the mentality in the country. Others thought the government needed to make laws and provide the funding to make proper trash disposal possible for everyone. 

It wasn’t a lot of trash that we pulled out of the ocean. But other times we’ve snorkeled, seen the trash and just swum by.  It felt good to actually do something about it this time. It wasn’t a lot of islanders that we talked with, but it was a few more that have more awareness of the problems and the idea that we should do something about it. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The visiting group of Africans had an excellent trip, despite the many travel woes—they got a full islands experience!  The weather was good and flights and boats left in good time last week meaning everyone arrived safely to the annual gathering and we had an excellent weekend together.  We were at a new venue which is always a bit trepidatious, but in general it went very well, the staff was responsive and quick to address our concerns.  The food was good and the encouragement and fellowship even better.  We are so thankful to get to work with such wonderful people.  Our two older kids got safely back to school. We also got to celebrate our daughter’s birthday early (while we were still together) — we are so thankful for her!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for much good to come from our time together as island workers—that as we scatter to our different locations that we would be refreshed, impassioned, revived, united, and equipped.  Many are taking a few days of vacation after the gathering, pray that this would be refreshing as well.  We will not be taking vacation, but head off to the French island for our annual visit there.  Pray for our travels and our French (which is usually mixed with the local language but we’ll need to speak more pure French there), and all the people we will be interacting with.  Pray for the African visitors who returned to their country today, with a greater understanding and vision.  May they go back and fan the flames of this work in the hearts of many in their country.  Pray for our colleagues who were dealing with so much illness.  They are feeling better, but weren’t able to be at the gathering.  Pray that they would recover from a hard number of weeks.

Bringing Her Home

 “I have a daughter on the French Island.  She is my heart.”  That was the way Mtsa described his second born with a touch of sadness in his voice the very first time he told me about his family over a year ago.  Mtsa has three children, all girls.  The eldest is 15, the youngest is 6, but his middle child, Mapema, had been sent to the French Island with the hopes of a better life.

Our beautiful island

She was sent 3 years ago, to live under the care of a relative of Mtsa’s wife.  She was to go to school and get French papers and be given a better life than any islander can hope for—at least that is the story.  Mtsa and his wife believed the story and at the tender age of 11 sent Mapema off to the care of her relatives in search of a better life.

That life never materialized.  The reality is that French laws have become stricter, the schools on the French island are more difficult to enter and her relatives there had no great desire to advocate for her.  In fact, they were much happier to keep her at home where they could put her to work cooking, cleaning, and washing clothes.

The more I learned about the situation the less I liked what I heard.  Though Mtsa still held onto some hope that his daughter would go to school and get her papers, it seemed more and more like he was holding onto an illusion.  When I would ask him, “How is your daughter on the French Island?”  The answer was inevitably, “No news.”  It would slowly come to light, that every time he called, he would be told that his daughter was out, busy or didn’t feel like talking to him.

Eventually the truth started to come out.  Mapema hadn’t been to school at all.  She was working like a slave and was regularly beaten.  The situation was intolerable.  Local government had gotten involved.  Either she would come home to Clove Island or she would be put into a Catholic orphanage.

The next week was an exhausting one of meetings and asking family members for money and us eventually agreeing to help pay most of her ticket.  But in the end, the ticket was acquired and she was on her way home.  We went to the port to meet her as she got off the boat on Clove Island.

Welcoming Mapemo at our house

As she came out the door of the port her family gathered around her.  Poor Mapema —almost 14 years old now, looked stunned.  Then she started to weep.  Crying is frowned upon in island culture, so they quickly told her to stop.  She managed to get it together but she looked stone faced, devoid of emotion at all.

I had warned Mtsa that it would not be easy for her.  Three years she has been away, traumatized, beaten or worse.  It would take time to adjust back to life in Clove Island.  It would probably be quite difficult.  But Mtsa’s face was full of delight.  He looked like he was ready to cry as well.  His daughter was home.  His heart.

It would be easy to judge Mtsa and his wife for making such a poor decision.  For subjecting their daughter to such trauma.  But Mtsa is poor.  He has trouble putting food on the table for his family.  He thought he was giving his daughter a better life.  Now he must live with that mistake.

Thankfully, there is always hope.  There is the promise of forgiveness and healing.  We are praying for Mapema.  We are glad she is home.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for Mapema’s return home. Thanks for praying— the internet stayed strong and steady for our son’s educational assessments. We are so thankful that there was someone willing to do them for us over the internet and for a discounted rate. Our son was a champ through them all! Our daughter has decided on a college— we are thankful that she has peace about the decision and for a good scholarship!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for Mapema’s transition back into life with her family and on Clove Island and for her healing. The visiting group are moving forward with their visit despite the changes to their flight— they will now only have one night on the small island. Pray that their flights are not delayed and that they can make the most of their time. Pray that they would catch a vision for the work on the islands. All our colleagues on the islands will be descending on the big island on Thursday (including our family) for our annual islands-wide gathering. Pray that all the inter island travel goes as planned. Pray for us and the others leading that time— may God direct our plans and may we all be encouraged. Some colleagues returned from a medical emergency with their young son, only to have a medical emergency with their baby girl. Pray for her healing and for this family. 

Are You Willing to Listen?

 “I just don’t think it’s good for someone to be alone.  Everything tells me that it’s not right.”

These were more or less Mtsa’s thoughts a few days ago when we were talking about marriage and celibacy/singleness.  After that Mtsa proceeded to make his case:

Island bride at recent wedding event

God said to Adam, “It’s not good for man to be alone.”

He said, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.”

“A man by himself, who will take care of him when he gets sick?  Who will bury him when he dies?  It just isn’t right.  I think it is a sin.”

How would you answer?  Islanders grow up being told that it is a sin not to marry and have children.  And it’s not just islanders but people in many African cultures believe the same.  To present an alternative is to suggest a major shift in life’s purposes, of what is right and wrong, of what is good and bad.  One might ask—is it necessary?  Why not let them believe as they do?  Why are we imposing our views on them?

If I were imploring them to follow my own culture, it would not be right.  As cultures around the world have rejected the importance of marriage and children and birthrates plummet across the world, who am I to tell them they have it wrong?  The truth is, Mtsa makes some compelling arguments. So we talk and we try to listen.  But really listening means being open to have your ideas changed.  Is my heart open? Is his?

“Marriage is good,” I respond. “Children are good.  There is no doubt about that.  But is it the only way?” I ask.  “What if God called you to do something difficult?  Go to a far away land where people will try to kill you.  Would you go?  What if God calls some people to not get married?  Their life will be hard, they won’t have people to look after them.  There will be many times when they are alone.  But if God has called them to do that, isn’t it more important to do God’s will? What about people who get married and can’t have children—are they sinning?”

Enjoying having kids home

“Moreover I see that people here get married for lots of bad reasons,” I continued. “They accept a fiancé because they are rich.  Or they say, ‘I’m 30 years old, it’s time that I must get married.’  I ask someone, ‘Tell me about your fiancé, are they a good person?  Are they honest? Are they kind?’ And more often than not they say, ‘I don’t know.’  This is the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with and you don’t know them?  Is this better than not marrying?”

Mtsa listened and agreed that these things weren’t good.  But he still wanted to make the case: better a bad marriage and kids than being alone.  “We are meant to fill the the earth.” 

“Perhaps we are meant to fill the earth in a different way.  Just as we are not the actual blood of Abraham, we are called children of Abraham.  Just because we don’t have a blood family, God will give us a spiritual family.”  At that point a recent anecdote came to mind:

“You know my teammate came to our house the other day, but her neighbors hadn’t seen her leave.  When she wasn’t back at dusk, they became concerned and started calling all around trying to reach her.  When she didn’t answer her phone (we were having a prayer meeting) they called even more people.  They were that worried about her.  Our teammate is unmarried, and many times it is not easy for her.  She lives alone.  And yet, God has given her a family.”

Mtsa listened and thought.  I fell silent and thought too.  I have not changed my mind about the rightness or wrongness of singleness, but Mtsa has helped me appreciate the difficulties of the issue (perhaps especially for islanders). I know our single teammates are dragged into these kinds of conversations all the time and have much better answers. They use these hard interactions to share the eternal hope that they have.  I hope to listen to my single teammates and to continue to grow in my understanding and appreciation of them, their joys and hardships.  I don’t know if Mtsa has changed his mind on this issue, but I saw that Mtsa was listening and I want to be a person who listens too.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our colleague on the big island was able to get to mainland Africa quickly with her son and get him the medical evaluations that he needed. Our daughter got some more information which has helped her be very close to making a decision about college— she is waiting for one more response, but assuming no surprises she is feeling good about making that decision (and we are too). Tom has been encouraging Mtsa for a long time to bring his adolescent daughter home to Clove Island (she was sent to French Island years ago, but was never sent to school there and has been mistreated)— after lots of meetings and struggling for funds, it looks like she will come home tomorrow. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our younger son needs to do some educational assessments over video-chat this week— the required internet speed for the assessments is only possible from the islands when we are having a good internet day. Please pray for good internet (especially our Monday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoons). Pray that the assessments would go well and not stress out our son too much. We have a big decision looming (beyond our daughter’s college decision), pray for wisdom, clarity and peace about it. There is a group meant to visit the work on the islands next week but their incoming flight was just canceled and rescheduled for several days later (severely impacting their short trip)— pray for wisdom on whether they should try to rebook with a different airline and for the needed finances for any changes they need to make. There are two young short-term workers visiting different locations on the islands this week— one is coming to stay with our teammate, another is going to the small island and staying with a worker there— pray for good visits and that their exposure to different workers’ lives might inspire them to long-term work. Pray for our colleague who is in the process of saying goodbyes and leaving the islands—she has left her home today and will have some time visiting other locations— pray for good interactions and closure for her.