Wedding Attendance is Still Important

 Over our ten years on the islands, we’ve been to a lot of weddings. More than we can remember. Unlike weddings in the US, you don’t have to know someone well to go to their wedding and you don’t have to receive an individual invitation. News of weddings are spread throughout neighborhoods with everyone who can attending. Foreigners are considered desirable wedding guests, so we are often pointedly invited.

Early weddings- Tom with groom in 2013

When we first came to the islands, we made a point of accepting lots of wedding invitations. They were interesting as we got to know and learn about island culture. It was a chance to strengthen new relationships, so we went to weddings in different contact’s families. But as we’ve stayed longer, we get so many invitations that during the high wedding seasons, we could run ourselves ragged going to all the weddings we hear about. So we’ve became more selective. With our trip to the States this past summer and my back surgery the summer before,  we missed the high wedding seasons two years in a row. We missed a lot of weddings, but I noted that we were so well known in our community that it didn’t seem to hurt relationships— people knew our reasons.

Part of me started to wonder if we could actually cut back on weddings even more—wait for weddings where we really knew the bride or groom. With these thoughts, it was a little begrudgingly that I went to a wedding this month, knowing that I only knew the extended family but couldn’t name the bride or groom and plus, it was meant to be a small “secret” wedding and it didn’t seem to me that I was close enough to the couple to make the guest list. Still I was pointedly asked to go and I went.  And unexpectedly, I met someone new.

She was a woman with some English who was excited to know me. She is obviously not very familiar with our group because she was surprised that I spoke the local language and asked if I had ever been to an island wedding before! I smiled and said that I had been to many ones before. 

Early wedding- our daughter with bride in 2013

Our conversation led to meeting her husband and inviting her to our English Club. She came to our English Club and expressed a desire to become a regular attendee. Then we learned her husband is the hospital director that our teammate is dealing with for her work, so who knows, our helping his wife with English could potentially cause him to have more friendly feelings towards our group. Lots of potential from a single new acquaintance from a single wedding event.  

So, did I need to go to that wedding? I don’t know that I would have been missed by most people if I hadn’t gone, and the bride and groom didn’t seem greatly impacted by my attendance, but I think God wanted me there. Weddings are times of mixing, reminding old friends that we are here and part of the community, and even a time for making new friends! New friends mean new relationship and new opportunities! So I guess there is still a place for going to a random wedding, especially if that’s where God wants us to be!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
There has been a dramatic turn of events for our island sister on the small island who has faced persecution from her father, was taken to court and had the prospect of being kicked out of her home looming over her. The head justice said that she is the sole owner of her property and she cannot be kicked out and that she can even report her father if he bothers her again and also that she is free to follow her own beliefs!  Apparently her father also dropped any complaints against her. This is a huge encouragement and an unexpected answer to prayer. A second airline is opening back up on the islands— meaning that we are now hopeful that we will be able to get to the small island by plane when we need to go in a few weeks. We are thankful for Tom as we celebrated his birthday this past week. We are also thankful that even though he was quite ill on Saturday that the illness was short-lived and he is already feeling much better. We had a nice, short visit with our former teammate and good friend.  Our colleague’s toddler daughter is doing much better and they’ve made it back to the islands.  Their daughter will finish up treatments and go for a check up in a couple of months, but she is doing well.  Thanks for praying!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray that we would have wisdom about what events (ceremonies, weddings, celebrations…) we should attend and which ones to say ‘no’ to— may we be sensitive to God’s leading. Tom is traveling to a remote village this week where someone whom we have trained is trying to open a new English teaching program. Pray that Tom would be a light in this village that we’ve never visited before.  The monthly women’s gatherings have finished the series of studies that we were working through— pray for wisdom about what to do next with them. Pray for our two older kids at boarding school— they are in a busy season at school and are sounding kind of stressed. Pray that they would find the right balance of work, rest and fun, and that stress levels would go way down.