Is This the Awaited Healing?

 If you are reading this blog post, you are probably somewhat aware of the journey my family has been on with my back.

Waiting in hospital Thurs to start pre-op prep

It has been a long journey, over 10 years long. I have written other blogs about it, talking about the lessons that pain and limited ability have taught me (here’s our first entire blog on it from 2014). It has been humbling. I have always known that healing was possible and that God is able to do the miraculous. I have always readily accepted whenever anyone offered or suggested that they pray for healing for my back.

Yet over the years, immediate healing was never something that I felt pulled to pray for or to seek with urgency. Then sometime this past year, there was a change. I felt led to pray consistently for healing. So I prayed everyday and I asked the family to pray everyday. I started to see some consistent improvement and I started to wonder if God wanted to bring about healing through the persistence and slowness of trust.

Then there was a setback in February. It began with me doing something I shouldn’t. I know my back limitations and I pushed them, not because I felt like I was healed and freed to push, but because of misplaced senses of pride and relational obligation. Now, I have had many setbacks over the years, and I know the steps I take to recover. It takes time, patience and stopping normal activities. But this was different. I wasn’t improving as expected. Things got worse.

I continued to pray each day for healing, and now the thought appeared, ‘maybe I need to get worse in order to get better’. There were two accompanying possibilities. Perhaps God wanted to show His power by providing miraculous healing when it would be obvious that it was His hand doing the work, or maybe He was opening up the way to surgery.

No one wants to jump to surgery, but we have considered it more than once over the years and even talked to surgeons. But every time I started recovering from my setbacks and surgeons never wanted to do surgery if I was able to improve by other means. It didn’t seem to matter that I never fully healed, they only wanted to do surgery if pain was intense and wasn’t improving with physical therapy and medication.

Post-op meds

So even as it hasn’t been fun for the past few months, there was something strangely reassuring in the fact that I wasn’t improving. We believe all healing is a gift of God, so first we took some time to pray to make sure that God didn’t want to provide that healing without surgery, but even as we had lots of people pray, no one came telling us that they thought surgery wasn’t the way forward and even some came to us surprised that they hadn’t felt led to pray for immediate healing.

We felt a peace about coming here to mainland Africa and pursuing surgery. I had surgery on Thursday and have been resting and recovering. I am already in less pain than before surgery. So I find myself asking, “Is this it, Lord? Is this the awaited healing or will the journey continue?”

I will meet with the surgeon tomorrow to hear his thoughts on my longterm post-surgery recovery, but I have read some general recovery descriptions for this type of surgery and it talks about people eventually resuming activities with almost no restrictions (even contact sports and lifting things). After 10 years of significant restrictions, I am a little lost in that possibility and am pretty sure I would have a hard time trusting such freedom.

Our oldest is 15 years old and says she can’t really remember me not having a bad back. Could this be the beginning of a new chapter? I’m hopeful, but I also am confident that God will continue to walk with us and teach us along the way, through both pain and healing. Thanks for praying and walking with us.

Tom and family visiting island

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We all made it to Kenya safely. Megan’s surgery went well without complications. She had people and lots of prayer around her. Our island sister has not been afraid despite news of increased scrutiny. The seminar on marriage went well. The brothers in a far village had a visit from others to encourage them and pray for them. It sounds like there are some women joining their numbers, too. Tom’s family’s visit to the islands finished well.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for good health and healing. Pray that Megan’s recovery would continue and that this might be a new chapter of renewed strength and ability. Pray for the remainder of Tom’s family’s time here in Africa, enjoying safari. Pray for good health, our youngest son had some tummy troubles. Pray for our teammate as she says goodbye this week to the rest of the team and to her island neighbors and friends of 5+ years. Pray for our island brothers and sisters that they would not become weary, but would persevere with joy in the midst of challenges and breakthroughs. 

Having People Visit

 It’s different actually seeing a place in person. Reading about it and seeing pictures may allow you to imagine it, but actually being there allows you to register the smells in the air, the feel of the humidity, the cadence of people’s greetings. It makes it real in a new way.

Arriving at the airport

We don’t get a lot of visitors, and for good reason. The islands are hard and expensive to get to. We have had several people excited to visit us because they already had plans to be in mainland Africa and were hopeful that they could just tack on a few days and see us on the islands. But then they realize the ticket price and all the travel time needed to get to us on Clove Island and they realize it isn’t so easy.

If they do make it all the way to Clove Island, the question then is, what do we show them? Tom’s parents and aunt are here with us for 1 week. How should we fill that week? Should we focus on giving them a taste of our normal life, full with team meetings, visiting with neighbors, and day-off routines. Or should we go for special outings, heading for the farther flung sites that we like to visit on special occasions? We could fill a whole week with these outings.

Three generations going to a wedding

Should we focus on the natural beauty of the island and show them beaches, rivers, waterfalls, and green hilltops? Or should we go for the personal connection and focus on meeting the island friends and neighbors whom we have come to love and our teammates with whom we share so much of our life? What will be the most meaningful to our visitors in the long run?

With some of our early visitors to Clove Island, we didn’t have as many options. Back then, we hadn’t learned about all the cool and beautiful spots, and we didn’t know as many people either. We may have even wondered what to do with visitors. But after 10 years in the same place, we find it hard to limit to just a week’s worth, but it is important to limit. We don’t want to exhaust our guests and we know that just being in a hotter climate and surrounded by people speaking a different language can be tiring.

Ultimately, we’ll go for a taste of different things, maybe one river spot, one wedding event, a little visiting, one short hike. We can’t do it all, but we can leave them with a much better sense of our lives than they had.

We don’t get a lot of visitors, but those that do come will understand our stories better, will be able to read between the lines of some of our requests with better insight and will potentially pray for us and the islands more.

Visiting the river

It makes a difference seeing a place in person! So if you fancy a visit to the islands and aren’t scared off by the travel and price tag, then we’d love to have you! Karibu! Welcome!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Tom’s parent and aunt made it safely to the islands with all their luggage (which is not a small thing these days)! Their first days on the islands have gone well. Thanks for praying. Megan made it safely to the big island today and will travel to Kenya tomorrow. Our son has been feeling better and sleeping better. Women’s gathering went well and more women than normal seemed engaged. Ma Imani has a plan to start studying with her mom and sisters, pray for open hearts and for nothing to prevent their meeting (their first meeting time was canceled last minute).

PRAYERS REQUESTED
This week a local sister was informed that there was meeting at the big gov office, where they talked about new beliefs spreading rapidly and named her as a leader. Her family was warned by a friend at the meeting to be careful. Pray for wisdom and peace for her, her family and the greater group. A seminar on marriage on our island for the brothers and sisters, organized by someone from the small island and with an outside speaker, is planned for this coming week. Pray that it could be a blessing to the group and to their marriages. A group of brothers in a far village have been having challenging conversations and debates about their beliefs, pray that they would have the words to respond well to people’s challenges and questions. Pray for Megan as she meets with the surgeon on Wed. If everything goes according to plan, she should have surgery on Thursday. Pray for a good surgery, without complications, and for peace for her and the family. Tom and the kids won’t be there the day of the surgery but should be able to arrive the following day. Pray for our son as he says goodbye to the team and island and leaves the island for boarding school for the first time.

Local Medicine

 It has happened lots of times. Often when I talk about my back hurting me, people will share their local wisdom about what to do. 

The ingredients

Islanders usually recommend massage (which I agree is a great way to get tense muscles to relax), but several times they have also recommended local island medicine, a paste or poultice of some kind to put on my back.  This often comes with a story of its success in healing someone and a reassurance that it would help me too. Sometimes they rattle off a series of ingredients (local words that I don’t know) and tell me it will help.

We have to be careful with the local word for ‘medicine.’ Sometimes it means a remedy provided by a witchdoctor and steeped in superstition, prayers and things we don’t agree with. But other times it is just a combination of herbs and plants that islanders for generations have looked to for their healing properties.

When our island friend offered to make local medicine for my back, she assured me that it had nothing to do with witchdoctors. I had already thought that at some point I should try the local remedy, partially for the experience, partially so I could say that I had tried it, and partially because it might actually help. I firmly believe that God has littered the earth with plants that have healing properties. So I agreed and copied down a list of three ingredients for Tom to get at the market. 

The grinding

It turned out one was just leaves from a tree that you didn’t have to buy, you just had to find the tree and pick some leaves. The other two ingredients weren’t anything we had ever bought before, in fact I still don’t know what they are. One was reddish brown seeds (similar in size and consistency to a small sesame seed). The other was the dried stems and leaves of a plant. Those three, plus a handful of rice and some water, was all we needed.

We had no idea how much work it would be. Our friend came and started grinding the ingredients one by one until they were a paste. She was there for hours, rocking the big stone again and again, adding water occasionally, until she was satisfied with the consistency.

She left with a smile, our thanks, and a gift of bananas, and told me to keep it in the fridge and put it all over my back for the next three nights.

The ground up ingredients

One thing she didn’t mention was the smell. The first night as Tom applied the thick paste to my back, he wrinkled his nose at its odor. I then remembered someone offering to make local medicine for me years ago, but then telling me that maybe she shouldn’t because my husband might not like the smell.

We were determined to give the medicine a full go, especially having witnessed the hours of labor that went into making it for me, so for three nights Tom applied it. The first two nights I slept with it on, which seemed like the original intention. The third night we applied it after dinner and took it off before bed (and then changed the sheets and used air freshener liberally through our room).

Sadly, I didn’t notice any dramatic effects. Waking up those three mornings, I would say that they were good mornings (pain-wise), so it definitely didn’t hurt, but can’t say that it definitely helped. 

The fragrant medicine applied

I expect that this kind of local medicine may be more for people with muscle spasms or sudden injuries, not necessarily for people like me with a more chronic condition and nerve pain. Still I am glad we did it. It drew us into relationship, gave us an opportunity to rely on our island friends and contacts, and honored their traditions and knowledge…if only it didn’t smell so bad.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our oldest son finished his “Rite of Passage” a series of challenges for him to grow in independence and wisdom as he becomes a young adult.  We are excited to celebrate this accomplishment with him.  Wedding events continue.  We are thankful for the way these events help to deepen our friendships.  We are excited to hear good news from our island brothers and sisters.  One is reaching out to others over whatsapp and finding some people who are interested to learn with him.  Some others met a drunk man who wanted to know more about who they were.  They spoke kindly to him but assumed he would be too drunk to remember.  But the next day, sober he found one of them and continued to ask questions!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We have plans!  Tom’s mother, father and aunt are on their way to the islands as we type!  Pray for a great visit with them and that all their luggage makes it (luggage has been delayed a lot in the past couple months). Megan will leave for Kenya a week from today and hopes to have surgery before the end of next week.  Pray for all the preparations to go smoothly, especially since Megan will be making her way there alone.  We have good friends in Kenya who will look after her while she’s at the hospital, and we are thankful for the Lord’s provision in that way.  Pray for surgery to bring relief to her pain and for a safe recovery. Pray for our teammates as they continue to go to wedding events. Pray for our one teammate who is getting ready to leave the islands, as she says final goodbyes, closes up her house and prepares to leave well. Pray for the monthly women’s gathering on Wednesday— may the women come with their new books and have an encouraging time of study together. Pray for our son as he deals with nervousness as he prepares to start boarding school at the end of August (he’s really excited, but there are lots of unknowns on which he can sometimes fixate and worry about).

Making Decisions

 How do you make decisions? It probably depends on the circumstances.

Deciding to keep playing after power went out

What is the weight or significance of the decision? Does it impact lots of people or just me? How long will I have to live with the repercussions of this decision?  We make countless simple decisions every day with little significance, like what to eat for breakfast, what outfit to wear, what movie to watch, which route to take through town. We may not even consciously make some decisions, just going on auto-pilot and following routines.

Now, it is possible that even these small, routine decisions could end up having bigger implications than expected. Maybe what you had for breakfast or the way you walked home ends up causing a ripple effect that leads to a significant conversation or running into someone that leads to a meaningful interaction. Sometimes decisions grow in significance in retrospect. Then again they can also shrink. Maybe we took a long time figuring out what to wear to an event, only to realize that we could have worn anything and been fine.

But sometimes we come to a decision and we know it is weighty. It isn’t routine and the decision will take conscious thought and deliberation.

Deciding to watch the Arabic New Year parade from our porch

I have been reading the stories of Saul and David and there are a number of times when they have to make decisions about what to do. It is interesting to trace the patterns. The stories where they seek God’s guidance and obey that guidance go a lot better. The stories where it talks about them being afraid (usually of people, whether their enemies or their own people) and then deciding, things on their terms never seem to go as well. Listening to fear doesn’t usually end well.

How often do I let fear tie me in knots as I deliberate and ultimately let it lead me to the wrong decision?

We are not very decisive people. Sometimes we agonize over decisions, both big and small. I remember us walking through a foreign city for a good chunk of an evening, unable to decide where to eat dinner. We were riddled with the fear of making the wrong choice. It seems so silly in retrospect.

Deciding to hike up to our favorite waterfall spot

This past couple weeks we have been struck with a pretty big decision (or at least it felt that way), about whether Megan should pursue back surgery or not. We tried to actually learn from our reading of the stories of David and ask God for guidance, and after some days of prayer and asking others to pray, and hearing from different people, we found a peace in moving forward and talking to surgeons. Once we had peace, it was an easy decision. Easy doesn’t mean insignificant. But with guidance even big decisions become easy.  

We have more decisions to go— where, when, with whom to have surgery— and it is easy for fear to feed our mind and tie us in knots.  Maybe you can pray with us that we would remember from whom to ask for guidance and to remember to listen and obey.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We thank God for His continued guidance and opening doors for us to make wise decisions.  We thank him for fun times with all three of our kids home for summer vacation and the chance to play games, go out, read books, etc together.  We are thankful for the safe arrival back of our teammate and for us to be all together again.  We are thankful for our new family teammates being in better health, and getting the chance to go and visit the place they will live, which meant we got the blessing of watch their kids for a day.  We are thankful for the ways our kids have grown so much and are now a real help around the house.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Even though it’s still July, it feels like these summer months are just flying by.  Pray that we can make the most of these days, especially as August will be a very full month.  Tom’s parents and aunt are coming to visit in a few weeks.  Pray for their preparations.  Our older son is packing his things getting ready to join his sister at boarding school at the end of August.  Pray for all of us as we get ready for this big transition.  Megan’s surgery plans continue to develop.  Pray for wisdom, discernment, for healing, and for doors to open as we wait for all the details to come together. There is a big wedding coming up that most of our team will be attending— pray that amidst the many weddings this time of year that we would have the chance to share truth and be a bright light to our communities.

Clumsy is Good

We had a celebration this past weekend.  Celebrating a new book in the island language.  The book is made up of four books.  Each talking about a different part of history.  The first book concerns the creation of the world and the first people.  The second book takes us to ancient Egypt and years of wandering in the desert.  The other two books are set in the Middle East during the time of Roman rule and all the things that happened then to change the world.  This is the first time a book like this has ever been created and printed in the island language, so it’s kind of a big deal.

New books ready to be handed out!

So we got together with others who appreciate the importance of this occasion and celebrated this new book and gave each household a copy.  The meeting was not what you might expect.  It wasn’t a huge event, only 20 or 30 people and it didn’t go as smoothly as you might have expected.  It was a little clumsy. Most of the people had never used a book like this before and they didn’t know how to navigate it, so part of the time was spent teaching about what’s actually in the book and how to find what you’re looking for.  Unfortunately, the person tasked to lead that part forgot his reading glasses.  And the power was out.  So there he was, leaning out the window, peering at the pages, flustered and trying to remember what it was he was supposed to say.

Another celebration- finishing 7th grade!

When we did get around to trying to find the different references, it was hard work.  How do you find the right book?  What was that chapter number again? This isn’t made any easier by the fact that islanders use multiple languages to talk about numbers and references.  So as instructions were repeated in different ways and multiple languages, the room was filled with people flipping to pages, calling out for more help, while people moved around the room trying to help others find their place.

Once everyone was settled, someone would read the passage aloud—only a few sentences.  But reading in the island language is not something taught in schools.  Reading in general is not a major island pastime.  So reading was labored and difficult.  But at the same time, everyone was engaged.  When someone made a mistake, you’d hear correction coming from around the room as others read along.  When someone read well, there was admiration and praise from others.  Some made sure to take note of where the passage was, so they could look it up again later.

By the time we got to the end of the readings, it didn’t feel like we had interacted much with the text.  The deeper meanings, the fuller understanding, the appreciation was not quite to be found, but at the same time, there was something joyful about it all.  Like kids learning to ride bikes—it’s clumsy at first.  You fall down a lot.  It’s no smooth.  But the joy of having a bike is the freedom to ride off on your own, knowing that you’ll soon get the hang of this—it’s a pretty irrepressible joy.  I think we felt that a bit this weekend.  The meeting was clumsy.  We were a bunch of beginners.  But the anticipation was there.  The sense of coming mastery and freedom and independence, was there.  And you couldn’t help but feel good about what might be yet to come!

Heading home from the French Island

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We made it back to Clove Island safely and had a notably calm voyage despite it being a windy day. Our son is feeling much better. The book celebration went well and the book is out in several households— may it be read and touch many. We had many people praying for us and Megan’s back this weekend as we asked for wisdom about how God wanted to bring Megan healing. We received many kind and encouraging words from people and now have peace about pursuing talking to surgeons.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for the continued translation work as they work with outside consultants to check drafts of more books. Pray for good internet connections, clear communication and a wonderful, vibrant translation. Continue to pray for wisdom and peace as we talk to insurance and learn about possible surgeons for Megan’s back. Pray as we try to discern the best country, surgeon, timing, and other logistics. The newly married family of believers with their combined 6 kids are having some expected challenges with their kids getting along and learning to live together as a family. Pray for grace to abound, for this newly married couple to have good communication and great wisdom as they parent their kids (young children through teenagers).  Pray for one of our teammates as she travels back to Clove Island from South America this week. Pray for safety and good rest on her long journey of several days.

Taking the Bus

I’m huddled against the side of the van, holding a baby.  Three others sit on the bench seat next to me.  Two of them are large “traditionally built” women.  The woman next to me had two children, a toddler and a baby and when the toddler got fussy, I offered to take the infant whom she gladly handed over to me.  So I held a sleeping baby as we bumped and weaved up a winding road.  I was on my way to the town on the plateau.  The same town where our medical team is located, only I wasn’t on my way to see the medical team.  I was coming to do an English teacher training course.  The course is usually done over the course of a month in about 10 sessions, but I was going to do it in the course of 3 weeks in 6 sessions, on this far side of the island.  Although I’ve used the taxi-bus system many times over the years, I’ve never done it with such regularity—twice a week for 3 weeks—I began to understand what it’s like to be a commuter.

An island taxibus

Island “buses” are really just 12 passenger vans.  But the 12 is just a suggestion here.  In reality the “normal” for a filled bus is 5 rows of 4 — a twenty passenger bus, but that doesn’t count kids. Nor the bus boy, who opens and closes the door and loads things on top (if all the seats are gone, he will stand, hunched over the seats by the door) and nor does it count—if the driver is willing—people hanging onto the back of the bus.  People often travel with belongings.  The big things, like cartons of freshly caught fish, gunny sacks of cassava, mangoes, coconuts, stacks of firewood, etc. tend to go on top, but plenty of people travel with large bags on their laps, which is somewhat impressive, since leg room is an issue.  The buses are locally adjusted to fit in an extra row, meaning anyone above 5’6” can expect their legs to be squished.

As a commuter, you realize the regularities and the irregularities of the system.  As with buses everywhere, commuting on a bus means a lot of waiting.  You never know how long you will have to wait for a bus to come.  One of my commutes was on Sunday afternoon, when, it is right to wonder if a bus will come at all!  But each Sunday, with patience and prayer, I was successful in finding a bus home.  Another taxi bus norm is the myriad number of stops. The more people on the bus, the more stops it makes, which causes the time to vary. You never know how long the trip will take—anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours.

Waiting for boat to French Island

As a commuter I’ve discovered the best place to sit on the bus—at least in my opinion: 2nd row, next to the window.  The front seat (shotgun) is a close second.  The 2nd row window is the best because you have the most leg room. (The 1st row has the bump of the engine under your feet.)  But you are still forward enough not to bump around like the back of the bus.  The window seat means more fresh air and air circulation—a major bonus.  But rarely did I get to choose my seat.  More often then not, a middle seat means letting the shoulders of the people next to you hold you in place as you bounce along.

I’ve also noticed the difference between different drivers—if I kept at it I imagine I would start to recognize the individual drivers, but I mainly put them into 3 categories.  There is the extremely slow, we-will-get-there-when-we-get-there-and-I’m-going-to-protect-the-shocks-of-this-bus-by-taking-each-pothole-extremely-slowly driver.  On the other extreme, you have the I-am-young-and-this-isn’t-my-bus-and-if-I-go-fast-enough-I-can-fly-over-all-the-potholes-and-everyone-will-get-out-of-my-way-in-fright-as-I-blindly-text-on-my-phone kind of driver.  But every once in awhile you get the sweet-spot driver.  The one who knows how to go fast when it is convenient and knows the road so well he can avoid potholes or choose the ones to fly over (roads on the islands are quite poor).  I wish all the driver were like that.

I’ve thought that the bus might be an opportunity for conversation, and it has happened on occasion.  But like most commuter buses, it seems like most people prefer to keep to themselves.  A few might be looking at their phone, but that is difficult with all bumps and turns.  Most just sit, staring off into space, looking out the window, thinking about who knows what.  I found myself doing the same.  Hours of sitting and bouncing and feeling uncomfortable.  It’s an opportunity for reflection.  A time for prayer.  A few times I brought my headphones.  I downloaded an audio book and listened to that the whole way.  Another time it was a sermon, a podcast.

Our daughter back with us!

The last day the bus took the full 3 hours to get me home.  I exited feeling stiff and sore.  I thought about how I would sleep soundly that night.  Traveling by bus takes its toll.  I thought about how glad I was I wouldn’t have to make that trip again for some time.  Then I thought about all the people who have to do that everyday.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our friend and former teammate said goodbye to the islands and she said that she felt like she was leaving well and felt very loved in her departure. We made it safely by boat to the French Island and the sea was amazingly calm for our voyage and no one got sick! Our daughter finished her finals well and was able to fly and meet us on the French island. It has been great to see our friends and colleagues here, and renew our understanding of the situation on the French Island. Megan was able to get an MRI of her back here on the French Island (something not available on Clove Island). Praise that the women’s gathering had some good conversation about marriage, may they continue.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We travel back to Clove Island by boat tomorrow— please pray for calm seas and stomachs for that voyage, especially as some of our family are prone to sea-sickness. Pray also especially for our older son who stomach hasn’t felt well for the past several days and is starting to dread the boat. Continue to pray for the French Island— the situation continues to be volatile with increased police presence, gangs and illegal immigrants living in fear. Added to that is serious water cuts after a year of drought and a mass exodus of doctors from the hospital, leaving the island horribly understaffed and unable to handle the medical needs of the population. Pray for joy and perseverance for our friends serving there in these hard times.  The book release and dedication of part of the translated Word will be this coming weekend, pray that it would lead to greater access, distribution and acceptance of the translation.

Showing Pain

As I walked through the neighborhood, I had to consciously choose to walk in accordance with my pain, to allow it to effect my gait and to let grimaces that I would normally hide show on my face. It wasn’t natural and I found it uncomfortable.

Welcoming friend at airport

Was I being dishonest? Was I putting on an act? No, I reassured myself. I was in pain. That wasn’t fake. It just felt fake for me, because normally I would hide that I am in pain. So really, it is my normal way of acting that could be seen as a dishonest act. Normally, I would try to make it so no one knew I was hurting, but I have been chastised many times by islanders when I admit that I have been struggling with something. “You didn’t tell us!” they accuse.

Islanders do not usually hide their physical pain and suffering. Sometimes it is hard to know whether they are just more honest, or whether they are actually playing up their suffering for more sympathy. It is very common that people will go to the hospital and get IV fluids (since most islanders are often in a state of dehydration, IV fluids is the hospital’s first line of offense against sickness). But people will leave the hospital with the IV port still in their arm and will leave it there. I think the thought is they may need to go back and get more IV fluids, but it usually seems to be just a badge of illness, so everyone can clearly see that they were sick enough to go to the hospital.

Our son leading English club

I haven’t generally been convicted that I should show pain more, but with my back, God has continued to teach me different lessons. Usually the lesson is that I have to admit there are things I shouldn’t do. I sometimes resist because I don’t want to be seen as demanding special treatment or to be seen as weak. But I should be telling people that I need someone else to pick up anything heavy for me. I should be telling people that I need a seat with some back support or tell them that it is better if I get one of the chairs instead of sitting on the floor. There are times when I can’t stomach the idea of saying, “No, I can’t sit there,” when someone graciously invites me to sit somewhere less than ideal. At those times, I find myself sitting and I feel the pain build or know that the next day I will wake up stiff and hurting.

So when my back isn’t doing well, I accept certain invitations with a sense of foreboding. There will be an event, the kind that usually has everyone sitting on mats, with most people having nothing to lean back against at all, and I dread it.

If my back is well, I can usually manage sitting on the floor for a bit, as long as I can lean back on something, and be none the worse. When my back isn’t great, then I should really have a chair. When my back is bad (which it is right now), I really can’t handle any prolonged sitting, even in a good chair. At the moment, I find even myself eating meals at home quickly just so I can get up from the table faster. I just can’t sit right now.

So it is with uneasiness that I am aware that this is the beginning of wedding season. My old neighbor has been by several times and talked about all the weddings coming up. Normally, a wedding isn’t so bad. They can be long, but there is singing and some simple dancing and people are having fun. You get to greet a bunch of people and be seen participating in the community. It’s good for relationships. But…there is usually a fair amount of sitting. I’ve tried to imagine if I could get away without sitting at all, but it would be hard. Plus, there is the fact that my pain has been at its worst at night (when the main wedding events are). For the past couple weeks, by night time even standing for too long is painful and I have to lie down.

The simple solution to this situation would be to just not go to weddings. But people know that I haven’t traveled off-island, so to not go would seem to say that I don’t value them and their special celebrations. It could damage my relationships. Not going would be excusable…if people knew I had a good excuse.

Newborn grandbaby I was visiting

This is how I found myself walking slowly to my old neighbor’s house, late in the afternoon when the pain had already built up. I needed to go and see her newborn grandson anyway, but I decided that I should not hide my pain. If I anticipated that I wasn’t going to be able to go to weddings because of it, then for the sake of relationships, it was better for people to know that I was hurting.

As I walked, I had people express their concern. Several people recommended massage and locally made herbal poultices. I got a chance to speak of my hope in a good God who knows exactly what is wrong and is the best doctor.

It wasn’t easy for me.  I don’t like being the center of attention or seemingly asking for people’s pity.  But I’m also challenged by it.  Why should I reject their pity and compassion? My pain can be an opportunity for someone else to show love and kindness. Would I deny them that opportunity?

Over the years my back problems has been the avenue for God teaching me different lessons.  I keep on learning.  

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our teammate has arrived safely in South America.  Homeschool is nearly done for the summer.  One son is finished and the other has one day left!  Tom has successfully finished teaching the teacher training program on the far side of the island.  No more 2.5 hour trips for him each way!  We welcomed back our good friend Ma Imani back to Clove Island after years of her living on the big island— we are happy to have her back and excited to see how God will use her here.  

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for Megan’s sciatic pain—for healing, and for good lessons to be learned all along the way.  We are thankful that she has seen some improvement, but it has been slow. We are headed to the French Island this week to visit our colleagues and to mutually encourage each other.  Pray for the boat trip (which can be rough on stomachs) and for some good times of fellowship with them. Our daughter is in her finals week and then travels by herself to meet us on French Island. Pray for smooth finals and uneventful travels. The monthly gathering of island sisters will start a series on marriage and family— pray that the study will lead to go conversation and healthier families and marriages. Our good friend and former teammate leaves the islands this week— praise for her 17 years of faithful service here and pray for all the planted seeds that she leaves behind.