Wanting Others to Succeed

 Can you rejoice in someone else’s success? Maybe that seems easy, or maybe you automatically sense that it depends on the situation or person. What if we elaborated…can you rejoice in someone else’s success when you are failing or struggling at the same thing? 

A view from hills on our island

It is a struggle that is as old as humanity. We see with the first two brothers that Cain is overcome by jealousy when his brother’s offering is accepted and praised and his is not— ultimately he let his jealousy and anger over the comparison lead him to murder. 

A friend and former neighbor sent me so many long voice messages this past month, many as long as 15 minutes. Her son has passed his Baccalaureate exam with honors and by all rights should be in line for a scholarship to study abroad, but she was struggling to know how to proceed and instead of asking other islanders (who would know much better the local scholarship systems), she kept coming back to me for advice and practical help. When I explained that we were not the best source of information and help, she insisted that she couldn’t go to other islanders for help. “There is too much jealousy. No one wants to help someone else succeed.” She seemed to feel that having a son do so well isolated her.

Our friend running the new boat business has run into many obstacles and frustrations, and some of the most prominent theories on why he has been given such a hard time have been that people don’t want the project to succeed, even if it can benefit the larger community and is a needed improvement on the older modes of transport. The problem is that there are all those owners of the older, smaller, generally-unsafe boats, who don’t want to see a better mode of transport arise and they have families, clout and influence. 

Another friend came to us just yesterday very upset because her sister had destroyed all her plants and flowers and had become violent when our friend tried to stop her. Growing plants at home isn’t that common among islanders and apparently our friend always got compliments when people came to the house and saw the flowers. She thinks that is why her sister wanted to destroy them. She didn’t like her sister being praised. 

People waiting for certificate ceremony on Sunday

We’ve had some friends from mainland Africa talk about an attitude that sometimes stops their communities from thriving and advancing. There was a proverb they quoted that went something like “the grass that grows tall gets cut”. The meaning being that you shouldn’t try to be better than those around you or you will be cut down to be the same as everyone else. Another person told us that where he was from ‘PhD’ was short for ‘pull him down’ because anyone who pursued advanced eduation was trying to be better than his people and needed to be stopped or at least humbled. While we agree that humility is good, we see that jealousy is not.  When individuals strive to be better and to try new things, it does not have to be done in pride, arrogance or competition.  When done with humility, it can help the greater community and can inspire others to do likewise.  

We hear these stories and we see this attitude of not wanting others to pull ahead among islanders and it grieves us, but at the same time, we can see the seeds of jealousy in our own hearts. 

We warn our new team members and remind ourselves that comparison is dangerous and can potentially lead to jealousy, resentment and discouragement. This comes up a lot with language learning. It’s hard when you are still struggling to piece together simple sentences to see your teammate using advanced grammar and already having deep and meaningful conversations with people.  But it’s also easy to succumb to the lowest denominator.  If you’re the best on the team, why not sit back on your laurels and take it easy rather than pushing forward? But it is in the team’s best interest to have the individual’s thriving and nuturing their gifts. 

Ultimately the challenge is to rejoice in the victories and accomplishments of others, allowing it to motivate or inspire us, while not allowing it to drag us down. And hopefully it goes without saying that we don’t want to hold people back or tear them down, we want to help each other succeed and reach even greater heights!  May God guard our hearts and help us cheer each other on!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are happy to hear that the interpersonal conflict that was holding back weekly meetings in one town have been resolved and that they are meeting again!  The boat with gasoline arrived and so the gas shortage is at an end.  Tom went to an English Ceremony on the other side of the island over the weekend.  Taxibuses don’t run in the afternoons over the weekend so he got a ride back on a motorcycle.  We’re thankful for a safe trip.  Tom completed another teacher training this past week.  The new teachers all did really well on their practicum exam.  Megan continues to have good conversations with Hashiri.  Muki and Mtsa continue to study well and seem to understand a bit more each day.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Two of the people Mtsa was sharing with left for the French island and probably won’t come back.  Two others seem willing to listen, but are not really engaging.  Pray for a change of heart there and for encouragment for Mtsa.  We leave tomorrow for 3 weeks of travel.  Pray for safe travels and good meetings.  Pray that the local groups which have been struggling to meet would have a new vitality and passion for weekly meetings—especially the one that recently overcame the interpersonal conflict.  Pray for the boat project—the need for reliable and honest boat workers is so pressing that our colleauge is traveling to a nearby country to look for staff.  Pray that the Lord would bless this endeavor with honest reliable people who can shine for the Kingdom. Pray for Hashiri as she struggles with conflict in her house and wants to be forgiving and loving in the midst of it. Pray for our kids at boarding school as they are facing a busy, stressful season. 

The Same Questions as Nicodemus

There’s something wonderful about reading a familiar story with someone who has never read it before.  Even more so when that story is a life-changing one.  A few days ago Muki and I were reading together about a man named Nicodemus who came to ask questions of the teacher at night.  The teacher, as he was prone to do, spoke in a way as to provoke Nicodemus to think.  

Sat AM tradition- pancake art by Tom

“No one can see the kingdom, unless you are born again.”

Muki read the statement, and then he read it again.  Then he said, “I don’t understand.  How can someone be born again?”

I couldn’t help but smile.  Anyone who knows the story will know that Nicodemus asks nearly the same question in the very next sentence of the story.  I grinned and said, “Excellent question!  Keep reading!”  Muki went on to read:

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

At that he laughed and slapped his knee, “That’s the same question I had!”  So now he was engaged in the story (not that it takes much to get Muki engaged in the stories these days).  As we read on, there were things he understood and things he didn’t understand.  But so much of it he loved.

After a little while he returned to a thought he has a lot.  “These things are so important,”  he says. “People here need to hear these things. They don’t know these things that are so important to know. But no one has heard them.  Nobody…zero…,” he says with a sigh. 

I remind him, “That’s why we have to share these things.”  

At English Ceremony on Sunday

“Yes,” he agrees.

“Yes,” I agree.  That’s the point.  Good news should be shared.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Megan continues to improve post-surgery, residual pain has been clearing and she has woken up the past couple days completely pain-free. Mtsa is sharing with people in his community and he has five different people coming to him and wanting to study with him. We are so encouraged to hear this! Ma Imani made it back to the island safely (after being away for medical treatment). Her husband complained that she had gotten skinny, but her health is much better. Our daughter has been feeling just fine. She’s eating better and has had no reoccurrence of light-headness or fainting. All our kids are doing well right now. Megan was able to share more clearly the good news with Hashiri and she seemed to understand better the bigger story. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Continue to pray that Muki and others would truly understand, accept and share with others. Pray for Mtsa as he shares in his neighborhood. Pray for Ma Imani’s transition back to the islands and that her return would spark gatherings to restart in the town where she lives with reconciliation and unity. We have heard the gasoline shortage continues but there should be relief by the coming Sunday.  The boat project is changing up their schedule and working through different difficulties— continue to pray for encouragement for those running the project, a clear way forward, and other skilled and like-minded workers to join them, even if just for a few months. 

New Meters

 We heard that they would come months, maybe even years ago.  The government-owned electric company was going to update the electricity meters across the country, but nothing happened for a long time, so we began to wonder if it was just talk. But these past few weeks it has actually begun—new meters being installed.  Workers moving from neighborhood to neighborhood… and people are not happy. 

One of the new meters

The old-style meter had to be read every month by an employee of the electric company. They would come to your house, write down your meter’s current reading and then the following week a bill would be delivered to your door with what you owed for electricity from the previous month. You were given a couple weeks to pay before they added fines to your bill and eventually if you didn’t pay for several months, they would send out an employee to your house to manually shut off your power—cut the lines. 

The new meters are computerized with a pre-pay system, where people have to buy credit from the electric company, get a code, and enter the code into their meter. If the credit runs out then their electricity is immediately shut off until they recharge their meter with more credit. No grace period, if you don’t pay in advance then your power is off. 

The benefits for the electric company are easy to see. No need to send employees to read meters, no need to deliver paper bills to each household. There is also the benefit that people won’t go into debt with the electric company and don’t have to worry about fines and late charges. The lack of debt is also nice for renters who sometimes have inherited the debt from a previous tenant and have had to clear the debt if they wanted power themselves. 

But most islanders won’t hear of any positives. They see it as another sign that the government is bad and just taking advantage of them. “They’re thieves, always taking more and more of our money” is the oft-repeated complaint. 

The new meters come with some free credit on them, but people complain about this as well. “It only lasted for a week! At one house it was gone in three days!” They don’t seem to want to hear that that credit was free for them and it really depends on how much power you use whether it is gone in a week or three days. For them it is just more examples of the government’s malfeasance. 

Tom and our son headed to a wedding together

I think the nature of the government’s ‘wrongdoing’ in the eyes of islanders is that it is going against the culture. Islanders are used to being given and giving a lot of grace around money issues. This is why government employees don’t usually strike until their salary has gone unpaid for several months! In other countries the strike would begin at the first delayed paycheck. The same goes at school— parents may not pay their school fees at the beginning of the term (when the schools say that they are due), but it isn’t until after the end of the term that they won’t release the kids’ grades if they haven’t paid, and often they won’t actually kick the students out until more warnings over the following term or school year. Often times a sob-story or explanation of extenuating circumstances will allow debt repayment to be delayed for perhaps months. 

But these cold, impersonal meters have no grace, no room for extenuating circumstances, no months of patience before they cut off service. So they are looked upon as evil invaders in island homes, coming to new neighborhoods every day!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Thank you for praying— Megan continues to recover well from surgery, seeing improvements each day. She is off prescription meds and the incision is almost completely healed. We are thankful that some of the approvals on which the new boat company was waiting have come through. Both Muki and Mtsa are feeling better and were able to study again this past week. We’re thankful that our two older kids at boarding school are getting new opportunities to grow in responsibility and learn this year— our daughter will be a teacher’s aide for the younger kids’ choirs and our son has a student job at the library and is helping with a weekly praise service. Ma Imani, who had traveled for medical treatment, is doing well now and will return to the islands this week. 



PRAYERS REQUESTED
One of the main Clove island sister leaders will now be living a big chunk of the year on the big island. Pray for the adjustment for her and the other island brothers and sisters. She often hosted gatherings-- pray that gathering would not decrease in her absence. Pray for the group in another location on Clove Island where conflict and hurt feelings have currently stopped the brothers and sisters from meeting— pray for repentance, forgiveness and love for that group. Our daughter had a fainting spell this weekend— it seems easily explained by lack of eating— pray that is all that it is and that she would remember to eat and would stay healthy. Continue to pray for Megan’s recovery as she will start trying to increase her activity levels this week. Pray for Ma Imani’s return and reintegration into her family and community. We have heard that there is a petrol/gas shortage on Clove Island— pray for the shortage to be short-lived. Continue to pray for the new boat business— it has been a tiring first couple weeks for them. Pray for the energy to persevere.  They have been hassled a lot by officials and are still waiting to have their boat given a different classification than the other much smaller boats so that they don’t have to operate under the same restrictions as the smaller boats. Pray that corruption and jealousies wouldn’t stand in the way of this business thriving. 

Replacing Yourself

 As leaders and as cross-cultural workers, we are always looking to replace ourselves. That is not to say that we are looking to leave where we are, but just that it is a healthy for us and the work if we are actively training others to do what we do. This can apply to our teammates that we train, as well as islanders that we hope will continue a lot of what we do. 

On ward awaiting surgery

The hospital where I had surgery is a teaching hospital. So some of the doctors that were treating me had ‘RESIDENT’ on their badges and some of the nurses had ‘STUDENT’ on theirs. The thing about teaching and training is that the new people usually aren’t going to do it as well as the experienced ones. They will make mistakes. One of the residents had trouble placing my IV before surgery— ultimately the senior doctor stepped in and put it in while the resident watched. One of the brand new student nurses didn’t tape the gauze over my removed IV with appropriate pressure and I ended up dripping blood on the ground when I stood up. The senior nurse came and redid it with lots of tape and pressure for the student to see! We tell our English students all the time not to fear mistakes, that they help them learn!  As trainers and teachers, we have to avoid the tendency of hovering too much or taking over too quickly, while still modeling, supporting and setting people up to thrive. 

 

Tom is helping to teach a brand new curriculum that one of the English centers purchased. Even though he has trained many teachers in that center and they are comfortable with the old curriculum, they wanted him to teach the new curriculum. He made sure that there were two island teachers doing it with him, and after watching him teach the first handful of classes, one of them realized that he could do it, so he volunteered to teach the next unit and the other teacher said he’d do the one after that. A little modeling empowered these teachers. 
 

Sometimes we’re challenged with the question— is there anything that you do that no one else can do? If there is, how are you going to train someone else to do it? 

Tom teaching new curriculum

The idea is that even if you left suddenly, things would be able to survive fine without you. My being suddenly gone for an extra week revealed that Tom and our son can handle most of the household and homeschool things. The women’s gathering happened without me. I still did some of the admin from mainland Africa (maybe I should be training someone else to know how to do that), but generally there wasn’t much that absolutely needed me. Not to say that it isn’t easier for people if I am around to do these things, but they get by fine on their own. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are very thankful that Megan’s surgery was successful with no complications. She was given the all clear to travel back to the islands and arrived home yesterday. We are very thankful for people that helped her at the hospital and for strangers who helped her lift bags at the airport. Our kids at boarding school had a good first week of school and seem to be settling back in well. Tom and our youngest did well on their own. We are thankful that the women’s gathering happened even without Megan helping to organize. The boat business is up and running— it was a long first week with some unexpected hurdles but they got to rescue two small boats that were overloaded and struggling in open ocean. We just heard about a new person joining our island familyon the big island.  She is the actual (biological) sister of a brother here on Clove Island— he is rejoicing and praying for the rest of his family. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Continue to pray for Megan’s rest and recovery from surgery. Continue to pray for the boat business as they are pestered by different officials on the different islands and continue to work out the kinks in how they operate. Pray for energy and stamina for them. Pray for the second monthly men’s gathering that should happen this week— may it help build momentum towards it becoming a regular habit for the month. Both Muki and Mtsa have been sick— pray for their healing and for their continued growth. 

Here I Am

 I recently did an at-home retreat study that asked me to read and reflect on the use of the phrase “Here I am!” in scripture. ‘Here I am’ is usually a response to a call— evidence of willingness and readiness to obey. There is an attentiveness and openness in the phrase that seems to imply, “I am at your service.” 

Our island home

One of our kids is very good at responding when I call with a “Yes, Mom?” said in a way that suggests they are ready to be helpful and follow-through with whatever I may ask them. It is such a relief to hear that response versus the disgruntled “What?”,  that I sometimes hear, said in a tone that suggests the responder is anticipating a request that they do not want to do and against which they are already planning to protest or revolt. In both situations, my child doesn’t know what I am going to say next, all they know is that their name has been called, but the attitude reveals where their heart is at. Then there is the non-response, the silence that requires me to find the child in question because they haven’t heard my call because hopefully it isn’t because they are ignoring me. 

As the study guided me through different passages, I read about different people being called by God and their response of “Here I am”.  The narratives had different paths— sometimes the person was given a difficult task, sometimes a message, sometimes reassurance or help. They didn’t usually know for sure what was coming next, but the “Here I am” showed that they were ready to listen. 

 Break is over, leaving the islands

When I heard the topic of the study, I had anticipated this theme of looking at my own hearts and seeing how I respond to God. Do I stand before Him ready to obey, ready to follow-through with however or wherever He may call me? Am I actively listening and seeking out His voice so that I can respond? 

But then the study flipped and showed that it is sometimes God that says “Here I am,” that the phrase can be used on both sides of a parent/child relationship. But for me, the sense of the ‘Here I am’ changed when it was the parent or God saying it. Suddenly it isn’t about subservience or obedience, but about love, about fulfilling relationship, about providing. 

Sometimes God is standing there waiting to be called upon. He is saying His “Here I am” to people that refuse to call out to Him. 

What a comfort to know that we have a Heavenly Father ready to say ‘Here I am’ when we call. That He is close enough to hear and will draw even closer to respond. That He is ready for whatever comes next. Whatever question or emotion or request that might be in our heart, He can handle it and will know just what we need in response. 

Settling into new dorm room

As I just said goodbye to my own children at boarding school and head into a week with surgery looming before me, what a comforting thought that God loves each of us enough to say, “Here I am” when we call. It makes me all the more excited to train my heart to say, “Here I am” in return. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Megan and our two older kids made it safely to mainland Africa and were able to do all their pre-school shopping and settle in at boarding school over the weekend so they could start school today! Our daughter saw her rheumatologist who was generally encouraged by the state of her joints. Megan got to see a specialist about her back, was able to get an MRI and ultimately be scheduled for surgery for tomorrow with insurace approval! We are thankful that there are people able to come alongside her while she is in the hospital. Tom and our youngest son had a good weekend visiting the family working with the medical team on the plateau.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for Megan’s surgery on early Tuesday morning— for no complications and a quick and full recovery. It is minimally invasive surgery, so we are hopeful she could be back on the islands within a week and hopefully pain-free. Pray for our kids as they start a new year at boarding school that they would establish good habits and be able to invest their time in ways that will help them grown and prepare them for the future. Pray for Tom and our youngest as they have to survive without Megan for longer than expected. Tom has classes and teacher training starting up which will have him out of the house for long stretches at a time— pray for our son as he is home alone more and pray that they can both get some homeschool, welcome our usual daily visitors and not get stressed or too tired by it all. The boat business is set to start running today! Pray for these first days that everything would run smoothly and that word would spread so that they get lots of passengers!