Wanting Others to Succeed

 Can you rejoice in someone else’s success? Maybe that seems easy, or maybe you automatically sense that it depends on the situation or person. What if we elaborated…can you rejoice in someone else’s success when you are failing or struggling at the same thing? 

A view from hills on our island

It is a struggle that is as old as humanity. We see with the first two brothers that Cain is overcome by jealousy when his brother’s offering is accepted and praised and his is not— ultimately he let his jealousy and anger over the comparison lead him to murder. 

A friend and former neighbor sent me so many long voice messages this past month, many as long as 15 minutes. Her son has passed his Baccalaureate exam with honors and by all rights should be in line for a scholarship to study abroad, but she was struggling to know how to proceed and instead of asking other islanders (who would know much better the local scholarship systems), she kept coming back to me for advice and practical help. When I explained that we were not the best source of information and help, she insisted that she couldn’t go to other islanders for help. “There is too much jealousy. No one wants to help someone else succeed.” She seemed to feel that having a son do so well isolated her.

Our friend running the new boat business has run into many obstacles and frustrations, and some of the most prominent theories on why he has been given such a hard time have been that people don’t want the project to succeed, even if it can benefit the larger community and is a needed improvement on the older modes of transport. The problem is that there are all those owners of the older, smaller, generally-unsafe boats, who don’t want to see a better mode of transport arise and they have families, clout and influence. 

Another friend came to us just yesterday very upset because her sister had destroyed all her plants and flowers and had become violent when our friend tried to stop her. Growing plants at home isn’t that common among islanders and apparently our friend always got compliments when people came to the house and saw the flowers. She thinks that is why her sister wanted to destroy them. She didn’t like her sister being praised. 

People waiting for certificate ceremony on Sunday

We’ve had some friends from mainland Africa talk about an attitude that sometimes stops their communities from thriving and advancing. There was a proverb they quoted that went something like “the grass that grows tall gets cut”. The meaning being that you shouldn’t try to be better than those around you or you will be cut down to be the same as everyone else. Another person told us that where he was from ‘PhD’ was short for ‘pull him down’ because anyone who pursued advanced eduation was trying to be better than his people and needed to be stopped or at least humbled. While we agree that humility is good, we see that jealousy is not.  When individuals strive to be better and to try new things, it does not have to be done in pride, arrogance or competition.  When done with humility, it can help the greater community and can inspire others to do likewise.  

We hear these stories and we see this attitude of not wanting others to pull ahead among islanders and it grieves us, but at the same time, we can see the seeds of jealousy in our own hearts. 

We warn our new team members and remind ourselves that comparison is dangerous and can potentially lead to jealousy, resentment and discouragement. This comes up a lot with language learning. It’s hard when you are still struggling to piece together simple sentences to see your teammate using advanced grammar and already having deep and meaningful conversations with people.  But it’s also easy to succumb to the lowest denominator.  If you’re the best on the team, why not sit back on your laurels and take it easy rather than pushing forward? But it is in the team’s best interest to have the individual’s thriving and nuturing their gifts. 

Ultimately the challenge is to rejoice in the victories and accomplishments of others, allowing it to motivate or inspire us, while not allowing it to drag us down. And hopefully it goes without saying that we don’t want to hold people back or tear them down, we want to help each other succeed and reach even greater heights!  May God guard our hearts and help us cheer each other on!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are happy to hear that the interpersonal conflict that was holding back weekly meetings in one town have been resolved and that they are meeting again!  The boat with gasoline arrived and so the gas shortage is at an end.  Tom went to an English Ceremony on the other side of the island over the weekend.  Taxibuses don’t run in the afternoons over the weekend so he got a ride back on a motorcycle.  We’re thankful for a safe trip.  Tom completed another teacher training this past week.  The new teachers all did really well on their practicum exam.  Megan continues to have good conversations with Hashiri.  Muki and Mtsa continue to study well and seem to understand a bit more each day.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Two of the people Mtsa was sharing with left for the French island and probably won’t come back.  Two others seem willing to listen, but are not really engaging.  Pray for a change of heart there and for encouragment for Mtsa.  We leave tomorrow for 3 weeks of travel.  Pray for safe travels and good meetings.  Pray that the local groups which have been struggling to meet would have a new vitality and passion for weekly meetings—especially the one that recently overcame the interpersonal conflict.  Pray for the boat project—the need for reliable and honest boat workers is so pressing that our colleauge is traveling to a nearby country to look for staff.  Pray that the Lord would bless this endeavor with honest reliable people who can shine for the Kingdom. Pray for Hashiri as she struggles with conflict in her house and wants to be forgiving and loving in the midst of it. Pray for our kids at boarding school as they are facing a busy, stressful season.