New Meters

 We heard that they would come months, maybe even years ago.  The government-owned electric company was going to update the electricity meters across the country, but nothing happened for a long time, so we began to wonder if it was just talk. But these past few weeks it has actually begun—new meters being installed.  Workers moving from neighborhood to neighborhood… and people are not happy. 

One of the new meters

The old-style meter had to be read every month by an employee of the electric company. They would come to your house, write down your meter’s current reading and then the following week a bill would be delivered to your door with what you owed for electricity from the previous month. You were given a couple weeks to pay before they added fines to your bill and eventually if you didn’t pay for several months, they would send out an employee to your house to manually shut off your power—cut the lines. 

The new meters are computerized with a pre-pay system, where people have to buy credit from the electric company, get a code, and enter the code into their meter. If the credit runs out then their electricity is immediately shut off until they recharge their meter with more credit. No grace period, if you don’t pay in advance then your power is off. 

The benefits for the electric company are easy to see. No need to send employees to read meters, no need to deliver paper bills to each household. There is also the benefit that people won’t go into debt with the electric company and don’t have to worry about fines and late charges. The lack of debt is also nice for renters who sometimes have inherited the debt from a previous tenant and have had to clear the debt if they wanted power themselves. 

But most islanders won’t hear of any positives. They see it as another sign that the government is bad and just taking advantage of them. “They’re thieves, always taking more and more of our money” is the oft-repeated complaint. 

The new meters come with some free credit on them, but people complain about this as well. “It only lasted for a week! At one house it was gone in three days!” They don’t seem to want to hear that that credit was free for them and it really depends on how much power you use whether it is gone in a week or three days. For them it is just more examples of the government’s malfeasance. 

Tom and our son headed to a wedding together

I think the nature of the government’s ‘wrongdoing’ in the eyes of islanders is that it is going against the culture. Islanders are used to being given and giving a lot of grace around money issues. This is why government employees don’t usually strike until their salary has gone unpaid for several months! In other countries the strike would begin at the first delayed paycheck. The same goes at school— parents may not pay their school fees at the beginning of the term (when the schools say that they are due), but it isn’t until after the end of the term that they won’t release the kids’ grades if they haven’t paid, and often they won’t actually kick the students out until more warnings over the following term or school year. Often times a sob-story or explanation of extenuating circumstances will allow debt repayment to be delayed for perhaps months. 

But these cold, impersonal meters have no grace, no room for extenuating circumstances, no months of patience before they cut off service. So they are looked upon as evil invaders in island homes, coming to new neighborhoods every day!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Thank you for praying— Megan continues to recover well from surgery, seeing improvements each day. She is off prescription meds and the incision is almost completely healed. We are thankful that some of the approvals on which the new boat company was waiting have come through. Both Muki and Mtsa are feeling better and were able to study again this past week. We’re thankful that our two older kids at boarding school are getting new opportunities to grow in responsibility and learn this year— our daughter will be a teacher’s aide for the younger kids’ choirs and our son has a student job at the library and is helping with a weekly praise service. Ma Imani, who had traveled for medical treatment, is doing well now and will return to the islands this week. 



PRAYERS REQUESTED
One of the main Clove island sister leaders will now be living a big chunk of the year on the big island. Pray for the adjustment for her and the other island brothers and sisters. She often hosted gatherings-- pray that gathering would not decrease in her absence. Pray for the group in another location on Clove Island where conflict and hurt feelings have currently stopped the brothers and sisters from meeting— pray for repentance, forgiveness and love for that group. Our daughter had a fainting spell this weekend— it seems easily explained by lack of eating— pray that is all that it is and that she would remember to eat and would stay healthy. Continue to pray for Megan’s recovery as she will start trying to increase her activity levels this week. Pray for Ma Imani’s return and reintegration into her family and community. We have heard that there is a petrol/gas shortage on Clove Island— pray for the shortage to be short-lived. Continue to pray for the new boat business— it has been a tiring first couple weeks for them. Pray for the energy to persevere.  They have been hassled a lot by officials and are still waiting to have their boat given a different classification than the other much smaller boats so that they don’t have to operate under the same restrictions as the smaller boats. Pray that corruption and jealousies wouldn’t stand in the way of this business thriving. 

Replacing Yourself

 As leaders and as cross-cultural workers, we are always looking to replace ourselves. That is not to say that we are looking to leave where we are, but just that it is a healthy for us and the work if we are actively training others to do what we do. This can apply to our teammates that we train, as well as islanders that we hope will continue a lot of what we do. 

On ward awaiting surgery

The hospital where I had surgery is a teaching hospital. So some of the doctors that were treating me had ‘RESIDENT’ on their badges and some of the nurses had ‘STUDENT’ on theirs. The thing about teaching and training is that the new people usually aren’t going to do it as well as the experienced ones. They will make mistakes. One of the residents had trouble placing my IV before surgery— ultimately the senior doctor stepped in and put it in while the resident watched. One of the brand new student nurses didn’t tape the gauze over my removed IV with appropriate pressure and I ended up dripping blood on the ground when I stood up. The senior nurse came and redid it with lots of tape and pressure for the student to see! We tell our English students all the time not to fear mistakes, that they help them learn!  As trainers and teachers, we have to avoid the tendency of hovering too much or taking over too quickly, while still modeling, supporting and setting people up to thrive. 

 

Tom is helping to teach a brand new curriculum that one of the English centers purchased. Even though he has trained many teachers in that center and they are comfortable with the old curriculum, they wanted him to teach the new curriculum. He made sure that there were two island teachers doing it with him, and after watching him teach the first handful of classes, one of them realized that he could do it, so he volunteered to teach the next unit and the other teacher said he’d do the one after that. A little modeling empowered these teachers. 
 

Sometimes we’re challenged with the question— is there anything that you do that no one else can do? If there is, how are you going to train someone else to do it? 

Tom teaching new curriculum

The idea is that even if you left suddenly, things would be able to survive fine without you. My being suddenly gone for an extra week revealed that Tom and our son can handle most of the household and homeschool things. The women’s gathering happened without me. I still did some of the admin from mainland Africa (maybe I should be training someone else to know how to do that), but generally there wasn’t much that absolutely needed me. Not to say that it isn’t easier for people if I am around to do these things, but they get by fine on their own. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are very thankful that Megan’s surgery was successful with no complications. She was given the all clear to travel back to the islands and arrived home yesterday. We are very thankful for people that helped her at the hospital and for strangers who helped her lift bags at the airport. Our kids at boarding school had a good first week of school and seem to be settling back in well. Tom and our youngest did well on their own. We are thankful that the women’s gathering happened even without Megan helping to organize. The boat business is up and running— it was a long first week with some unexpected hurdles but they got to rescue two small boats that were overloaded and struggling in open ocean. We just heard about a new person joining our island familyon the big island.  She is the actual (biological) sister of a brother here on Clove Island— he is rejoicing and praying for the rest of his family. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Continue to pray for Megan’s rest and recovery from surgery. Continue to pray for the boat business as they are pestered by different officials on the different islands and continue to work out the kinks in how they operate. Pray for energy and stamina for them. Pray for the second monthly men’s gathering that should happen this week— may it help build momentum towards it becoming a regular habit for the month. Both Muki and Mtsa have been sick— pray for their healing and for their continued growth. 

Here I Am

 I recently did an at-home retreat study that asked me to read and reflect on the use of the phrase “Here I am!” in scripture. ‘Here I am’ is usually a response to a call— evidence of willingness and readiness to obey. There is an attentiveness and openness in the phrase that seems to imply, “I am at your service.” 

Our island home

One of our kids is very good at responding when I call with a “Yes, Mom?” said in a way that suggests they are ready to be helpful and follow-through with whatever I may ask them. It is such a relief to hear that response versus the disgruntled “What?”,  that I sometimes hear, said in a tone that suggests the responder is anticipating a request that they do not want to do and against which they are already planning to protest or revolt. In both situations, my child doesn’t know what I am going to say next, all they know is that their name has been called, but the attitude reveals where their heart is at. Then there is the non-response, the silence that requires me to find the child in question because they haven’t heard my call because hopefully it isn’t because they are ignoring me. 

As the study guided me through different passages, I read about different people being called by God and their response of “Here I am”.  The narratives had different paths— sometimes the person was given a difficult task, sometimes a message, sometimes reassurance or help. They didn’t usually know for sure what was coming next, but the “Here I am” showed that they were ready to listen. 

 Break is over, leaving the islands

When I heard the topic of the study, I had anticipated this theme of looking at my own hearts and seeing how I respond to God. Do I stand before Him ready to obey, ready to follow-through with however or wherever He may call me? Am I actively listening and seeking out His voice so that I can respond? 

But then the study flipped and showed that it is sometimes God that says “Here I am,” that the phrase can be used on both sides of a parent/child relationship. But for me, the sense of the ‘Here I am’ changed when it was the parent or God saying it. Suddenly it isn’t about subservience or obedience, but about love, about fulfilling relationship, about providing. 

Sometimes God is standing there waiting to be called upon. He is saying His “Here I am” to people that refuse to call out to Him. 

What a comfort to know that we have a Heavenly Father ready to say ‘Here I am’ when we call. That He is close enough to hear and will draw even closer to respond. That He is ready for whatever comes next. Whatever question or emotion or request that might be in our heart, He can handle it and will know just what we need in response. 

Settling into new dorm room

As I just said goodbye to my own children at boarding school and head into a week with surgery looming before me, what a comforting thought that God loves each of us enough to say, “Here I am” when we call. It makes me all the more excited to train my heart to say, “Here I am” in return. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Megan and our two older kids made it safely to mainland Africa and were able to do all their pre-school shopping and settle in at boarding school over the weekend so they could start school today! Our daughter saw her rheumatologist who was generally encouraged by the state of her joints. Megan got to see a specialist about her back, was able to get an MRI and ultimately be scheduled for surgery for tomorrow with insurace approval! We are thankful that there are people able to come alongside her while she is in the hospital. Tom and our youngest son had a good weekend visiting the family working with the medical team on the plateau.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for Megan’s surgery on early Tuesday morning— for no complications and a quick and full recovery. It is minimally invasive surgery, so we are hopeful she could be back on the islands within a week and hopefully pain-free. Pray for our kids as they start a new year at boarding school that they would establish good habits and be able to invest their time in ways that will help them grown and prepare them for the future. Pray for Tom and our youngest as they have to survive without Megan for longer than expected. Tom has classes and teacher training starting up which will have him out of the house for long stretches at a time— pray for our son as he is home alone more and pray that they can both get some homeschool, welcome our usual daily visitors and not get stressed or too tired by it all. The boat business is set to start running today! Pray for these first days that everything would run smoothly and that word would spread so that they get lots of passengers!

What If I’m Being Had

 We had caught him in a lie. It was blatant and his attempts to cover it up with more lies discouraged us further. Were we wrong about this guy? How deep do his lies and pretending go? Is he just trying to use us for what he can get from us? 

Sunset on Clove Island

 

As we’ve written about numerous times in numerous blogs—money and relationships are intertwined in island life.  Rather than seeing money as something that gets in the way of relationships, it is seen as something that enhances them.  It is taken for granted that friendship has many benefits, and if that doesn’t include potential financial benefits—well then it’s not much of a friendship.  

That’s not to say that islanders don’t recognize that friendships that are only and all about money are false.  They understand the phrase, “He only loved me for my money.”  And they agree that that’s not good.  But a phrase like, “He partially loves me for my money,” would probably be acceptable to island ears (not that I’ve ever heard anyone say that).  It’s just taken for granted that relationships come with benefits and those benefits are seen to strengthen the relationship.

We haven’t decided if this is truly a good thing or a bad thing or just a different thing.  One could make the case that it comes from a misunderstanding of love that goes right up to the top.  If you see God as loving you only for what you can contribute.  Or if you see yourself as paying your way to an audience through ritual prayers, perhaps there is an assumed transactional nature to all relationships that reflects a warped understanding.  A true understanding reminds us that we are loved for who we are—or considering our sinful state—who we are meant to be—not for what we have done or achieved.  This relationship cannot be bought or earned.  Neither can it be approached with the attitude of “What am I going to get from this?”  Such attitudes worship the blessing and not the blesser.

On the other hand, it is impossible to remove from a relationship the acts of giving and receiving—often in the forms of gifts—gifts that cost a great deal.  God says He will provide our daily needs.  It’s part of the relationship.  We delight in serving Him and giving Him praise and glory and thanks.  It’s part of the relationship.  We give Him our money too (often in the form of a tithe).  He gives us so much more—providing for us again and again all that we need.  We feel no qualms in asking Him for things.  He delights in giving us good gifts. 

But what happens when it comes down to the here and now?  Most islanders see us as rich. We live in a comfortable house, we have enough to eat, we have health insurance and can send our kids to boarding school.  Some of our island friends don’t have enough to eat on a regular basis.  Accidents and sickness are major financial crises.  Sending kids to a local private school is a real strain on their budget.  From an islander perspective:  

Our kids watching sunset on last night together

Wouldn’t it be great to be friends with Tom & Megan?  Think of all the benefits!  And if you like to read stories, they will make time for you and read with you!  They’ll give you things to eat and help you out when you’re in need… 

Yet we know that there are also many people searching for something else—not money, but life.  They too are coming and wanting relationship with us.  The longer we’ve lived here, the easier it seems to be able to tell the difference, but that doesn’t mean we know for sure.  And so there is can be that doubt that lingers…What if they are just in it for the benefits?

But that’s not a very helpful thought.  We prefer to remember something Hudson Taylor and his wife used to say:  “Better to be had, than hard.”  People come with all sorts of motives.  We can think of a good friend who ended up finding and embracing the truth when he was originally just interested in a girl.  So, we try not to worry about their motives, and instead hope for a transformed heart.

Let the homeschool year begin!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We had a wonderful vacation time with our two older kids.  It has come to an end and they are on their way back to school this week, but we are thankful for all the good days we got to spend with them.  Tom had that tough conversation with a friend.  It went pretty well.  Let’s hope for good to come from it.   Megan’s studies with a friend continue on and she shows interest in learning more and applying it to her life.  

PRAYERS REQUESTED 
Our youngest is starting homeschool again and the older two will start their classes next week.  Pray for a good start to the school year.  Our friend and colleague continues to work hard to prepare for the launch of the new ferry boat business between the islands.  Keep praying that an experienced boat captain and/or mechanic could be found to join the work even short-term.  We’ve heard of a few promising leads! (Let us know if you know someone!).  Pray that we would neither be “had” nor “hard”, and if we are had, to forgive, and if we have become hard, to soften.  Most importantly pray that false motives might be transformed and hearts be changed.  Pray for Megan’s back.  She has not been doing too well and will see the doctor while taking the kids back to school.  Pray for our daughter to continue to be in good health as she goes for a check up with her rheumatologist.  Pray for healing for both of them. 

Honor and Shame of Exams

 Island students have to deal with a lot of pressure-filled exams. At the age of 6, they start taking the exams at the end of each school year which decide if you go on to the next grade or not. They keep students in a grade until they pass, meaning sometimes a few kids will tower over the rest in their grade because they are several years older than the other students. 

Tom with successful student at celebration

These every year exams are one thing, but there are three times in the life of an island student when the exams are a really big deal. The three exams are going from primary school to jr. high, jr high to high school, and high school to university. These are high-stress events— with parents asking for prayers for their kids months in advance. The whole school year of these three exam years include increased intensity and extra tutoring sessions. 

The most difficult is the Bac (the internationally recognized exam which allows students to go to university). Only about 20% of islanders usually pass the exam outright, with another 20-25% passing after having to complete a second round of oral exams (because their first round results were borderline). 

The results are announced on the public radio. Everyone you know is listening as each names is called out over the radio followed by their score. If you passed outright or made it to the second round, then you’ll hear your name. If you failed, you will listen until the end and never hear your name. If you don’t pass, everyone knows it, and your life is basically on hold. It’s a barrier and you can’t move forward until you succeed. 

We didn’t turn on a radio on results day, but the whole neighborhood was quiet and we could hear the broadcast being blasted by others. It takes a long time to get through all the names and we weren’t listening closely, but all of a sudden a cheer went out from our neighbors. Our next-door neighbor had passed! We went out on our porch and caught her eye and yelled our congratulations, while other neighbors came over to share in the joy. 

Megan & our daughter at neighbor celebration

Another student came to us the night after the announcements with his mom and a backpack full of sodas. It is island tradition that when someone passes a big exam that they will gift anyone who comes to give their congratulations a soda! He honored us by coming to us with 5 sodas and not waiting for us to come to him. 

A few days after the results, another student’s parents had a short prayer of thanks at their house to celebrate, giving all those who came a goody-bag with soda and snacks. A week later our neighbor had an event with hours of chanting their holy book, including snacks and ending with an elaborate meal, to both honor their daughter’s success and to show their gratitude to God. Students come to our English club, announce their success in order to receive everyone’s congratulations. We try to honor and congratulate these students, while also emphasizing thankfulness to God.  

Meanwhile there are those that didn’t hear their names. I’ve heard that several people don’t even listen to the broadcast or won’t listen around other people, because they can’t handle the shame of possibly not hearing their name in front of everyone. The parents of these students pull us aside and tell us quietly that they didn’t pass, partially I think so we don’t ask the student themselves.  In these cases, we’ll repeatedly hear “Next year, God willing.” We don’t tend to see these students again in person for awhile. 

Another one of our next door neighbors didn’t pass her exam to go into high school this year. We haven’t seen her since the results were announced. Her mom says she doesn’t want to see anyone. She’s ashamed and upset because she had worked hard and studied. Her cousin is the one who passed the Bac and she didn’t even go to the celebration. It doesn’t seem like her mom has any words of comfort for her beyond telling her “Next year, God willing.” We wish she would come out and we could let her know that God loves her and hasn’t forsaken her, that there is more to her life and worth than whether or not she passed an exam.

We rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn, and we pray for both those who succeed and those who fail to realize that life is about more than just exams. 

Anniversary hike-- 22 yrs!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The first monthly men’s gathering was a success with several men in attendance. We got news that Ma Imani’s medical treatment abroad is going well so far— we continue to pray for her healing. We celebrated 22 years of marriage and found a new hike to mark the occasion. We were thankful that the hike ended with a nice view and that the trail never got too treacherous. We’re thankful that Megan’s back (which hasn’t been in a good place for the past couple months) did well on the hike as well. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Tom needs to have a tough conversation with an island friend— confronting dishonesty. Pray that Tom could do that in a way that speaks the truth in love and maintains relationship while also making it clear that honesty is essential to us and before God. Our friend and colleague is working hard to prepare the launch of a new ferry boat business between the islands. They have had some expat personnel fall through and so a lot more of the hands-on boat work is falling on him. Pray that an experienced boat captain and/or mechanic could be found to join the work even short-term (let us know if you know someone!).   We have one more full week on the islands with our two older kids before they have to go back to school— pray that we’d have some good family time, while also getting errands done, including routine blood work for our daughter and some new clothes for our growing son. We continue to pray for those that took exams this year— that those who didn’t pass would be comforted and for those that passed their Bac and are making plans for university. 

Social Media Mediation

 It all started when one of the members of our English Club’s mother passed away.  An announcement was made on our English Club WhatsApp chat.   It was suggested that we could all meet at the local place of prayer and then go over to the house of the bereaved family to offer condolences.  In response to that, my good friend, Fakhadi (he’s the one that acts and talks like a modern day Pharisee) wrote a seemingly innocent, but actually a provocative message to the group.  

Tom teaching English class

“I’m not really sure our teacher knows how to recite from [our book].  This way of praying to Almighty is different from what he knows.”  

As a Westerner reading this, it may make you uncomfortable because it speaks so openly about religion, but that’s not actually the issue.  The issue is one of shame.  He is drawing attention to the fact that I will not be joining them in their prayers (something most everyone was probably already aware of) and so attempting to bring shame on me in front of the group.  Perhaps this shaming seems as subtle to you as it did to me, but let me tell you, it was not taken this way in the group.

From my perspective, I actually welcomed the question.  Anytime I can distinguish myself from the surrounding faith is an opportunity.  So I was very happy to explain that I would not be joining for prayers, and I am not a follower of their faith, but I am a friend and I would like to join in visiting the bereaved family and showing love and care.  I thought that would be the end of it.  

At celebration with English students

But the next morning when I checked my messages, it became apparent that others had decided to chime in.  If Fakhadi meant to subtly shame me with his question, these others meant to both defend my honor and openly shame Fakhadi. Fakhadi was quick to defend himself.  A battle of words ensued. I won’t put all the back and forth, but here are a few of the responses (be aware that these are English students, so sometimes they make mistakes):

 - “I myself was offended but I don't know if Mr. Tom was offended I really cried I cried a lot when I saw your message😭😭😭😭
- I just thought to myself why he posted this message for what purpose” 

- “[Fakhadi] in everything you think that you are on the right way but, I can swear that you are lost far away this time , you exaggerated. 
- If you feel that Tom didn't feel offended for us other we find your words disrespectful and offended.”

A few others joined in, trying to bring reconciliation, or just saying, “Let’s talk about something else,” or just telling Fakhadi to stop. But Fakhadi was offended and his last message read:

“For now on, I won't write anything or say anything at all in this group. Now you can have peace! 🤐”

By the time I read all these messages, the argument had already come to an end, but it didn’t feel too late to write something.  So prayerfully I responded:

- “This makes me very sad. 😔 I hope, [Fakhadi], that you will not leave the group. This group should be a place where people ask questions and discuss with respect.  I think some of the things said to [Fakhadi] were not respectful.  I think you were trying to defend me, which is very kind, but don't worry, I am fine.  And in your desire to defend me, you have attacked [Fakhadi]. That is not good. Words can be like swords.  They can hurt.  I ask you, please put your swords away.  🙏🏼

Our 13 year old!

I would ask, if you have a problem with someone, write your message privately, not to the group.  That is more respectful.  In the group, let us talk about ideas and opinions about ideas. 👍🏼
Let us not talk about people and opinions about people. 👎🏼

I love all of you and want the English Club to be a place for making friends, not losing them.  So let's forgive one another and start again.”

There have been no further messages in the group since then, except for a few 🙏 ❤️ emojis.  One man came up to me personally and apologized for his rant.  I accepted and reminded him how easy it is to say something in a message that we would never say to someone face to face.  It reminds me that posts and messages, no matter what the language, can be such a temptation for our tongues (or our thumbs) to set a forest on fire.  But there is also an opportunity for us in these interactions and their aftermath to be a witness for the light and for peace. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED Our colleagues (a family) on the medical team returned to Clove Island safely after several months away in the their home country. Women’s gathering was well attended last week. A plan for a monthly men’s gathering has come together. Our youngest son turned 13! We had a nice celebration and are thankful for him and how he is growing and maturing and for all the ways he makes us smile.  We are thankful for all the ways we get to shine, whether in a Whatsapp group, at a funeral, or at a celebration for passing an exam.  Tom’s studies with Muki and Mtsa continue to go well. Tom has started a new English Class that has been encouraging.  Megan continues to meet with Hashiri, who continues to ask good, and sometimes perplexing questions.  Our daughter’s health continues to be good, despite people with coughs and colds around her.


PRAYERS REQUESTED
The first men’s gathering will happen on Wednesday— pray that this could start a pattern of island brothers meeting together and going deep with each other.  Pray that  they would show up!  Pray that they would learn to trust one another and learn to love the word that has been translated into their own
language.  Pray that they would feel equipped to share that word with others.  MaNadjma has shared with us that her daughter has been having a persistent health concern that hasn’t been going away with medication. Pray for her healing.  The summer is flying by, which means so is our time with our kids.  Pray that we could continue to balance family time and island life.  Pray that our daughter would continue to be illness free so that her meds can reach their full potential.  Pray that she would be free of her rheumatoid arthritis.

Reciprocating

 “We just got gifted another papaya!” 

Last of the papaya & new gift!

We had to laugh. We had been eating papaya with every meal for days and were just finishing the last of it off. But it seemed that papaya was still on the menu for awhile! It’s not that we don’t like papaya— but it can ripen quickly and even slightly overripe papaya is not our favorite. So we try to eat it quickly when we get it. This was a our fourth papaya in a row! Most had been gifts from the two guys that Tom studies with regularly. 

Island relationships can sometimes feel very transactional. We know that most times when someone is befriending us, it is because they are hoping to receive something from us beyond just friendship. Sometimes it is status or connections, sometimes it is tangible or monetary help, sometimes it is knowledge or information.  

Transactional means that when we help someone with their English or give them some food or money or even study the good news with them, that they often feel like they want or need to give back to us in some way. 

We help out Ma Riziki with food and simple medicines fairly regularly, so she will gift us mataba (the local dish of crushed cassava leaves cooked in coconut milk) whenever she happens to be making it.  Two ladies in our neighborhood gifted us with lots of baked goods on the same week because we had helped them in the past and that week there was a big event for which they had been baking. Muki has eaten breakfast at our house most days for awhile, but when he noticed that Tom liked plants, he started gifting Tom with different seedlings and soil.  If a village’s English exams coincide with any kind of harvest, then Tom will come home from proctoring the exams with a bag of fruit or veggies for us to enjoy. We teach English to a wealthy doctor and so now we get invited to fancy meals at his house and he insists we get any services at his clinic at cost.

The idea of relationships being transactional is uncomfortable for many Westerners, but islanders have no problems with it. In every good island relationship, there is supposed to be a give and take. Wedding attendance and the money given at weddings is so transactional that they take video footage of the money lines and record how much each person gave in a notebook, partially so they know how to reciprocate when it is that person’s wedding. Sometimes islanders who live in Europe get Westernized and forget or ignore the expectations. I have heard islanders complain when, for example, an islander visiting from Europe doesn’t reciprocate in the correct fashion. In island understanding, they host the visiting islander—cooking, cleaning and welcoming them, with the understanding that the visitor will be bringing gifts of electronics and/or cash from abroad (not to mention potentially helping with school fees or paying for home improvement projects).  

Last of baked goods & new gift!

We know that we don’t always get it right, but most of the time we are giving willingly and it is actually the receiving that makes us uncomfortable— because we don’t get to choose how someone reciprocates. Sometimes we are gifted things we don’t really enjoy or something of which we already have plenty.  But we’ve learned enough to know that we don’t say that to the person giving. Often, the gifts we receive are coming from people who are poor and they are giving what they can, so we accept with a smile and many thanks— it is their way of giving toward our relationship (and if we end up not using or re-gifting their gift, they don’t need to know that). 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We were able to attend a funeral event for our friend’s mother and Tom was able to share some words of comfort with him. The test results are in and we got to celebrate with several of our friends who passed and will now be able to enter university. Hashiri continues to ask thoughtful questions and to be seeking truth. Megan had a good visit with Ma Imani and they were able to talk about some hard things. Tom had some excellent studies with Muk and Mtsa this past week.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Two island sisters are hoping to travel abroad this week for medical treatment— pray for their healing, for their travels while not feeling well and also for the kids that they are both leaving behind. The rest of us hope to have our monthly women’s gathering and an island sister who has been hesitant to host lately has volunteered her house— pray that it would go well and be an encouragement. We have a visitor arriving on our island today and staying for just over a week to see what work and life looks like for us here on the Clove Island— pray that it would be a good visit. Pray that we would know how to wisely navigate our different relationships with islanders with their varying expectations— pray that our relationships with them would be healthy and draw them more to Him than to us. 

I Wish I Had Said...

 English class was starting. Students were coming into the room and sitting down at the table.  One of the young men in his twenties who was sitting near me noticed a certain girl come in and sit down.  With a less than innocent look in his eye, he called out to her, “Wow, you are so beautiful.”

Recent walk overlooking our town

The girl was clearly embarrassed as was most of the class at this statement, which was just shy of a cat whistle.

The young man looked at everyone defiantly and said, “What?  Is it forbidden to appreciate beauty?”  No one spoke.  And he turned to me and asked in the same haughty tone, “Teacher, is it forbidden to appreciate beauty?”…

What would you have said?

Such unanticipated moments seem to happen quite often.  Rarely do I get them completely right.  Often I walk away thinking about the thing I wish I had said.  I’ve wondered about that.  Why doesn’t the Spirit give me better words, the most clever responses, the best answer for the moment?  Sometimes He does, but more often than not, I don’t say the things I wish I had said.  But then I remember that with most things we don’t expect to get them right the first time.  Musicians need to practice, authors need editors, and athletes need training.  So rather than despairing, we’ve taken to looking at these times as learning opportunities.  We don’t need to get everything right the first time, but we should learn from our mistakes.  What would have been a better answer?  What could I say the next time?  Sometimes we even discuss these encounters together as a team to get more input: “How could we have answered in a way that would have been beneficial and truth speaking?” 

“Teacher, is it forbidden to appreciate beauty?”

After a short pause, I replied, “I am not a [follower of your faith].  So I cannot tell you what is forbidden or not forbidden for you.  I follow [J] and we don’t talk about what is forbidden or not forbidden but about what is good and true.  But I will say, that where I come from, what you did was not polite.”

As I reflect on that answer, it wasn’t bad.  I got to say that I am different and do not adhere to their religion.  I was able to rephrase things in terms of good and true instead of forbidden not forbidden.  I was able to say that what he did was impolite and so bring him down a peg. But after class I thought about a better answer, and as I discussed it with Megan she came up with a similar better answer too.

What would have been a better answer?  It is hard to say, but if I could do it over again, I would have said,  “I am not a [follower of your faith].  So I cannot tell you what is forbidden or not forbidden for you.  But I am a follower of [J], and he tells us that God looks at the heart.  The intentions of your heart are more important than 'forbidden' or 'not forbidden'.  So my friend, did you say those things from a good heart or a bad heart?

Enjoying time as a family

There is one more factor that should be mentioned; one more challenge to crafting a good answer.  This was in English class, so my answer was in English and had to be at a level that the students could understand. Other times the answer would need to be in the local language and would thus be limited to the answerer’s local language proficiency. So as you think about how you might have answered, keep that thought in mind too.  

I hope you are thinking of ways you might have answered (let us know if you’ve got ideas), and we hope you are inspired to debrief similar moments you might have in your context. 

 We might stumble in our responses the first time, but we learn, we pray and often times a similar opportunity will eventually present itself.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Tom had good studies with Muki and Mtsa over some difficult passages. Generally, our daughter’s rheumatoid arthritis has been doing much better this vacation break. We are thankful for the decrease in pain and the increase in energy, but continue to pray for total healing! Hashiri has continued to ask good questions and is really seeking to understand forgiveness. We’ve taken some measures that have helped with the mosquitoes in our house. Plans are coming together for a men’s gathering to start in August. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Tom has started a new English class, which means a new group of islanders for Tom to connect and share with. Pray that he’d have opportunities to share truth with them. An island friend has recently lost his mother, pray that we could be a source of comfort to him. Pray for all the islander students awaiting their test results this week— which will tell them if they can continue on to university in the autumn or if they have to repeat the last year of high school. One of the sick island sisters hopes to travel for medical treatment once all the exam results are released. Pray for wisdom for her family as she’ll probably leave her kids on the islands with her husband and for healing for her.

Battling Dust and Mosquitoes

 There is a war going on at our house! It has always been going on, but only recently the battle has become intense. This Sunday, we were studying a passage from Joel that talked about the hordes of locusts descending. It can feel like that, but our battle isn’t against locusts, it is against dust and mosquitoes.  

On dusty porch with new duster

The dust war is primarily a seasonal battle. In July and August, the rains stop and the ground dries out, so the air and breezes carry the fine black volcanic dust with them wherever it blows. A couple nights ago, it got particularly windy as we slept and when we woke up our porch and front room floors were covered in black. 

The mosquitoes is a new battle for us. The islands have always had mosquitoes, but for some reason they are everywhere right now. Even islanders have commented on it. Our house usually has had very few mosquitoes, partially from being on a second floor. So even though our house has never been fully screened, we’ve never been too concerned about mosquitoes. But now we wish our house was fully screened! We don’t know exactly what is going on, but it feels like one of the cyclic surges you see with some types of trees or bugs in the US, where every so many years they produce several times more than normal. We’ve never heard of mosquitoes doing that, but it feels that way. 

It can feel like a losing battle. You sweep or dust and so quickly the black layer returns. Our boys don’t wear house sandals like we do inside, and every once in awhile we urge them to wash the black bottoms of their feet only to have them complain that they had just washed them off. It’s hard to hold the dust at bay. Meanwhile, we keep killing more and more mosquitoes, but it doesn’t seem to make a dent. They just keep coming. 

Son and Tom screening windows

But even though it can feel like a losing battle, we don’t give up. To give up would be to live in filth and be covered in bug bites and subject to mosquito born illnesses (currently a nasty one called chikungunya is going around). No, we don’t give up. We pray, we equip ourselves and we fight back. This week we screened some windows that hadn’t been. We have started keeping a mosquito zapper always charged, and we bought a new duster. Ultimately we don’t despair because we know how to fight back and we know it will get better. 

Dust and mosquitoes are common parts of life here all year round. Most of the time we don’t even think about them that much— they are there and we live with them in a relatively complacent way. Our house wasn’t fully screened, we weren’t in the habit of dusting regularly. But now the mosquitoes and dust are abundant and overwhelming. We can no longer be complacent, we have to fight back or we will be overcome. 

It feels like a sermon illustration! We haven’t felt that our battle with dust and mosquitoes is spiritual in nature, but it does make me think, what insidious things do I complacently allow to linger in my heart that could one day swarm and threaten to overwhelm me. Sometimes the war is ongoing, but it takes an intense battle to wake us up to the fight. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are so enjoying having our kids around.  Tom had some good studies with Muki and Mtsa this past week.  Muki is starting to understand some important aspects of the good news he hadn’t before.  Megan continues to study with Hashiri and has seen some positive growth in her understanding as well.  

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray that we would see a marked decrease in the number of mosquitos around our house and that the Lord would be merciful and keep mosquito-born illnesses from infecting the population.  Pray for Mtsa to get opportunities to share at his work and Muki to share more with his family.  Pray for all the ones we are studying with to experience life transformation.  Keep praying for the plans for a men’s gathering hoping to start next month.  Keep praying for health and healing for the two island sisters who have ongoing health concerns.  The final set of national school exams are happening right now (these ones are to go from jr. high to high school)— we know several kids taking them. Pray that they would remember all they’ve learned and not be too stressed. 

The Fabled Same-Day Connection

 It doesn’t seem like it would be that big of a deal. All we want to do is travel via the big island without having to spend the night on the big island. But in reality the same-day connection has been a rare occurrence. We don’t usually even attempt it leaving the islands because the risk of missing our international flight seems too great. But since our daughter started boarding school three years ago, every time she has come home for a break (three times a year), we have looked into her and her brother making a same-day connection and it has never worked out…until this time.  

Kids at airport cafe in mainland Africa

 Most of the time the issue has been that interisland airlines often cancel their afternoon flights. They sell tickets for an afternoon flight but then a day before the flight, you get a call saying the afternoon flight is canceled because of lack of passengers and everyone flies in the morning instead. This has happened to us several times. But the combination of high travel season and only one interisland airline means higher demand, so the afternoon flights have been actually filling and running this month. 

The other problem is getting an international flight that arrives early enough for the same-day connection, but our kids’ international flight was scheduled to arrive with plenty of time for them to make their flight in the afternoon. We had even entertained the idea that they might have a leisurely meal with our teammate who was going to wait at the airport on the big island to help them make the next flight.  But flight times are subject to frequent change in our part of the world.

Then there was a perfect storm. 

First, a week before travels, the international flight schedule was moved 45 min later, making the connection a bit tighter. But at the airport that day it was delayed 50 minutes, making the connection even tighter.  Meanwhile another international flight was 30 minutes early, meaning both planes landed at the same time.  You might ask, “Why does that matter?”

The big island airport is currently renovating their international terminal.  This means the small domestic terminal is being used for all arrivals.  So when two flights come at the same time it is chaos— way beyond their capacity for both immigration and luggage. 

So our two kids landed at 1:30pm. Their domestic flight was to leave at 3pm. A tight connection, but seemingly doable, except for all the chaos!  Our kids got through immigration quickly by mentioning their connecting flight, but then waited nearly an hour without seeing their bags.  At that point, we were informed that check-in for the next flight would close at 2:30, we told the kids to forget the bags and book it over to check-in.  (Meanwhile we started making arrangements to hire someone to collect their bags and put them on a later flight.) 

It sounds pretty bleak, doesn't it? But what we haven’t mentioned yet is that our teammate was at the airport outside arrivals to help our kids out and she even knew someone working at the airport. Unbeknownst to us, our teammate’s friend (it’s all who you know) got the kids and took them outside to find their bags amongst those waiting to go on the carousel and then escorted them to the check-in desk where our teammate was waiting for them (urging the employees to not close check-in without them).

They arrived! (In taxi on way home)

So in a last minute rush, they got checked in (with their bags!) at around 2:35. Their local flight left on time at 3pm! 

So was the same-day connection worth it? The kids admitted it was stressful, but when our kids were able to go to bed that night and not have to worry about traveling anymore, they were happy. We said prayers of thanks for our teammate, fast immigration, airport worker friends, and sweet reunions, and then they went to bed…and slept a full 12 hours!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are so thankful to have our kids back home safely and that they made it through their finals week without too much stress. Women’s gathering this past week was very well attended and one sister shared that she had two local women asking her questions and wanting to know more about what she believes. We’re thankful that our teammate was able to visit with a Clove-Island woman who has moved to the big island when she passed through, hopefully connecting her to more fellowship on the big island. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for us as we try to balance with our kids home between quality family time and our normal work. Pray for Tom and other brothers as they consider getting a regular mens’ gathering started— pray for wisdom about the format and how many men to invite. Pray for Mtsa as his job has changed and he is praying for opportunities to have meaningful conversations and share with his new colleagues. Pray for health and healing for a couple of the island sisters who have ongoing helath concerns— one will be traveling abroad for treatment during this vacation time. 

Rude Conversation?

 I was walking down the sidewalk along the busy main road on my way to check if a shop nearby had something I needed. On one corner there were a number of people sitting on a stoop— some selling produce, others waiting for a bus or just sitting and people-watching. 

An older lady greeted me with warmth and I could tell by the way that she looked at me that she thought she knew me, though I didn’t recognize her. Not knowing if I had met her once and just forgotten her face, I made a point to return her warm greeting. Then she asked me, “How’s the baby?” and I immediately realized that she didn’t know me. She thought I was another like-minded foreign lady that lives on the island who has a small baby. 

Our 'baby' is almost 13!

It is a pretty common occurrence that we are mistaken for other light-skinned foreigners. We don’t necessarily have to look anything like each other— there are just so few foreigners that some islanders can assume we are the same person. In this situation, the mother with the young baby has brown hair and wears glasses like me, so it was an easy mistake. 

“That’s not me. I don’t have a baby,” I said with a smile and was about to keep walking when the man sitting next to the old lady, interjected loudly and with some vehemence, “That’s not good! You should have babies!” 

While his loud rebuke was a little surprising, we have been on the islands long enough that the sentiment is not shocking. Islanders believe that marrying and having children is a religious obligation. Everyone is supposed to have babies. 

So I was quick to tell him and the small group of people all keyed into the conversation, that I had three children, but they had all grown big, so I didn’t have any babies anymore. Most of the group nodded their heads and accepted this greater insight into my family status. I was about to walk away again, I was actually in a bit of rush to get to the shop and back home, when the man burst out for one more retort, “Three is not very many. You should have more! Three isn’t enough.”

I ended the conversation by saying that it is all in God’s hands and went on my way to the shop.

As I reflected on the conversation later, it did strike me that it would have been a very rude interaction if it had happened in the West. Even on the islands it was a little rude to say such things to a complete stranger and not taking into consideration that I could be trying to have children but having fertility issues (something that brings a lot of shame to women on the islands). 

Tom and friend at wedding (he has 14 kids!)

But, if he had known me and if I was willingly avoiding marriage or pregnancy, then it wouldn’t be seen as rude at all. Indeed,  it struck me that his sentiments and his willingness to yell them at a foreigner passing by on the road come from the idea that there is one accepted view on the topic. 

This is not a pluralistic place— islanders expect and generally accept that there is one way to view most issues. The details might change— for example, when we first came we were always told that women should try to have 8 kids (4 boys, 4 girls), more recently it has been more common to hear that 4 is enough (2 of each). But whatever the details, at the heart, islanders expect there to be one right way. 

So this man had no trouble yelling his advice for my life because it isn’t controversial. The other people who were listening didn’t correct or contradict him because they most likely agreed with what he said, even if they weren’t going to be so bold. 

To be honest, this wasn’t that unique of an interaction. Generally,islanders don’t mind being bold, even on personal topics,if they feel they are in the right.  As we’ve been on the islands for so many years some of this has worn off on us. We’ve gotten a lot more bold in sharing our beliefs and views, but let’s hope we retain humility and tact to still speak with gentleness and love at the same time. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We’ve been using an electric zapper and burning mosquito coils to stay on top of mosquitos. Our friends on the French Island are finally back in their house, following repairs from the cyclone that hit in December. Megan’s skin biopsy came back clear. Megan got to study with Hashiri again and correct some misunderstandings she has had. Tom continues to study with Muki and Mtsa, they are almost done with another book. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for our kids as they go into their exam week at boarding school and as they travel home. We are hoping they can make a same day connection from the big island— pray for safe travels and that their international flight gets in earlier enough for the afternoon domestic flight on Saturday. Pray for our colleague trying to have a medical procedure down in mainland Africa, her appointment was canceled because of protests in the city and she is supposed to fly out to tomorrow. Pray for our teammate as she has her final week on the island before heading home for four months. Keep praying for Megan’s back as she tries to be more proactive with PT stretches to hopefully encourage recovery. Pray for the women as they gather this week— we’ve heard that there may be some tensions in the group—may any needed discussion, repentance and/or forgiveness happen. A colleague from the small island is hoping to visit our island via boat this week— pray for calm seas so she can make it here safely. 

Why is the Electricity so good these days?

 When we were away from the islands last month we were told that electricity had gotten really bad.  We had even read an island article that said it wouldn’t be until mid-July or later for the needed parts to come to fix the malfunctioning generators, but since our return, the power has been particularly good!  Over lunch the other day, we enjoyed speculating all the possible reasons for the recent improvement.

 Our first reason was a joke —Perhaps the electricity company heard we were coming back and made sure things were working better!  A nice thought, except that we do not carry the notoriety, fame, importance or clout to bring such a thing about.  However, we have noticed that when the president comes to town, electricity generally improves for as long as he is around.  So it is not unheard of for electricity to improve due to the arrival of important visitors.

Cloves drying in sun here on 'Clove' Island

Our next thought was on the same theme.  The summer months are the time of year when all the island diaspora that lives in Europe and other places comes back to the islands for vacation.  Could it be they are keeping the power on for all the visitors?  Does that mean instead of rationing the fuel used to run the generators, they are using it up and when the visitors leave, power will be terrible again?  Perhaps.

On the otherhand, the summer visitors come with lots of money.  Perhaps electricity bills are finally being paid and they are using the money for extra fuel.  Is it simply a matter of money greasing the wheels???

That got us onto another possible reason.  The season of summer visitors coincides (quite deliberately)  with the wedding season.   There are multiple weddings every day once things get going, and people pay extra to make sure the power stays on.  Do we benefit from this demand for power?

Then a more mundane answer crossed our mind: Perhaps they simply fixed the generators earlier than expected, and they are running smoothly right now.  Such ideas almost sounds preposterous, but not impossible.  Still the idea of things just running smoothly here seem to be a rarity.

And then another explanation struck us—maybe demand is down.  The weather is significantly cooler this time of year.  Air-conditioners and fans are hardly necessary and many may have been turned off.  Could it simply be that thanks to fewer demands, the system is able to meet the needs?

And then to bring it full circle, we had asked for prayer that power would get better on the islands.  We know there are some real prayer warriors among you.  Perhaps some of you started praying…

Working on homeschool project!

We will probably never know the reason, but whatever the reason, we are thankful for these days of good power.  You may live in a place where you take electricity for granted.  Next time you flip a switch or grab something from your consistently cold fridge, you can say a small prayer of thanks, and think of all the things that help cause your electricity to run smoothly.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for better electricity! A short-term medical team had a successful trip to the small island with lots of islanders being seen and being intentionally told good news.  Tom was able to meet and study with an island brother who was recently deported from the French Island— while he hopes to return to his wife and kids on the French Island, we’re hopeful that his temporary presence could have a positive impact on his extended family here. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
An island sister on the plateau just lost a brother at sea (one passenger among two boatfuls that are presumed drowned).  Pray for her family as they grieve and that she might be able to be a light to those without hope. The monthly women’s gathering that should be this week is being pushed back a week because so many of the island sisters aren’t around. Pray that in the midst of increased travels during July/August that gatherings of brothers and sisters would still happen. Pray for the follow-up with those islanders who expressed interest in learning more during the medical team’s trip on the small island.  Pray for our kids as they have just two weeks left of school and have many projects, presentations and exams to get through. Pray that they wouldn’t be troubled with stress and anxiety. Our teammate has only two weeks before she heads back to her home country for some months— pray that she would be able finish up well and have good interactions with island friends and neighbors as she says goodbye. There have been so many mosquitoes around lately (the worst we’ve ever seen). Pray for them to decrease and for protection from mosquito born illnesses going around (primarily dengue and chikungunya). 

Cycles

 There are all kinds of cycles and rhythms that mark out our life. There is the cycle of a single day— the sun rising with the accompanying morning sounds and routines of waking up, praying, getting dressed, and ending with the setting sun and bedtime routines. There is a our weekly cycle of school or work, followed by the weekend. Then there’s the seasonal cycle of weather changing and holidays coming and going. Finally there are the bigger changes of life cycles, babies growing into kids, growing into teenagers and so on. They all help us to mark the passage of time. 

Sunrise before morning flight

We were only gone from the islands for a few weeks really and in some ways it felt like no time had passed, but there were several markers when we got back to show us that time had continued. 

• We reach for a dish and find that there is some dust that has collected on it. 
• Our teammate commented that our son looked taller, requiring the mandatory check to see how he stands in comparison to the adults in his life. 
• At 7am every morning, the school behind our house is no longer humming with life, telling us that the main school year has ended. 
• We woke up in the morning and realized that we hadn’t turned on the fan in the night and had pulled the flat sheet up over us, letting us know that the weather has cooled and the season has changed. 
• An empty amorylis stalk let us know that a bloom had opened and gone in our absence. 
• As we passed through the big island, our old teammate’s young baby was holding her head high and giving us smiles in a way that she couldn’t when we left. 
• The hair had started to grow around Tom and our son’s ears, highlighting the need for new haircuts. 
• Some island friends and shopkeepers greeted us with the common phrase, “I haven’t seen you,” to let us know that our absence had been noted. 
• Suddenly idle talk is all about upcoming nuptials and we’ve been handed a few invitations, letting us know that the wedding season of July and August is fast approaching. 
• A new kitten is roaming in the back area behind our house that wasn’t there when we left. 

Back on the islands!

Without markers, it can be easy to lose track of time, but we have these humbling reminders that life and time keeps going forward. Our daughter is needing to think about college. Passports needed to be renewed. Our youngest is becoming a teenager in August. The grandmother downstairs is able to do less and less on her own. We are needing reading glasses more and more often. Students are learning and getting their certificates. Life keeps going with all its telltale cycles of change. 

As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease. Genesis 8:22

So here we are with our blog, one of those markers— reminding us (whether it feels too quick or too long to us) that another week has gone by!

PRAYERS ANSWERED


We are thankful that we see God’s hand sustaining us in all the short-term and long-term cycles of life.  When we wrote on Monday last week, the passports had not come through.  That was in the morning.  By the afternoon we got a message from the US Embassy saying the passport had been found—so thanks for praying!  We were able to get the passports, and though we had started the process of changing our flights, we were able to change them back without too much trouble or cost.  In the end we were able to travel under our original itinerary and are happily back in our island home.  Thank you for praying for island marriages (last week’s blog).  There has been some positive markers in that area, but do keep praying.  Our daughter got to get some good sleep over the weekend and seems to be doing okay with no arthritis flare-ups.  
One of our former teammates got married this weekend and we were able to watch the wedding ceremony livestream with colleagues and a few islanders. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We are looking forward to a few months without any planned travel.  Pray that we could get into some good routines—including finishing up home school for the year, starting some new English classes, and getting our English Club going again.  Kids around the islands (and our kids at their school) are entering the time of final papers and exams.  Pray that they could remember all that they’ve studied and do well without stress or anxiety.  Megan’s back has been a little out of sorts after all the travel and a strange bed, pray that it would settle down, be strong and pain-free.  Tom got to study with someone new this week.  They made a plan to study again on Wednesday.  Pray that this new man would remember, show up, and have a hunger for further study.

Breaking Patterns

 Our son was struggling to make a decision, not wanting to rest on a firm opinion (a common problem). I took the opportunity to share how I have struggled with indecisiveness. Sometimes I used to frame it positively as being laid-back or easy-going, but there are times when not having an opinion and not just making a decision is unhelpful and annoying to others and harmful to ourselves. So I shared some stories with my son, letting him know that he isn’t alone, but also that it was something he could work on.

Praying to pass on good patterns to our kids

We all carry with us patterns and habits that can be hard to break. Some of them we are aware of and acknowledge. Others we may not recognize as being a pattern or habit. Some may be good things, patterns that have a positive impact. Others are insidious and hurting the things that we really want for our life and community. We can see the roots for some patterns in our own lives and experiences. We see how they took root and grew. Others have roots that go even deeper than just us— they are patterns and habits that span generations of our family or even into the wider community and culture. 

I have a friend on the island whose whole family struggles with anger issues. She has seen it clearly in other members in her family and herself, but it doesn’t make it easy for her to always stop it in herself, though she does want it to stop. 

These deeper rooted habits are often the hardest ones to break (assuming they are bad and you want to break them) because the people around us are potentially wrapped up in the same patterns. You don’t necessarily have good examples to look to and emulate. If the community or culture embraces this bad habit, then there is no one even encouraging you to change. 

We have been reminded lately about the unhealthy patterns in marriage on the islands. Divorce is such an expected outcome of marriage that people don’t want to work on or fight for their marriages when they get hard. Islanders don’t expect to trust or necessarily confide in their spouses. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not patterns with which most islanders are familiar. Even among our brothers and sisters on the islands, we don’t see many strong marriages. It is easy to become discouraged, but we realize that it is a huge battle against all the generations of negative patterns. 

We see prayer as a huge weapon against the negative patterns in our lives. But we need to recognize the pattern, want it to change, and hand it over to the One whose power is much greater than ours. He is also our source for asking for new, good patterns and habits that we can foster and hopefully pass on to the next generation. 

Milkshakes to celebrate Father's Day

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Praise that our colleagues were able to return to the islands after their medical appointments in South Africa. Praise that our older two kids were able to be part of a school music tour this past weekend and that Tom was able to go along as a chaperone.  It went very well. Praise that our friends were able to enter Chad on their already-issued visas. We were thankful and encouraged to get to visit with some African colleagues from the big island who are currently in mainland Africa. We are also thankful that our island friends have made initial steps working through their marital issues. We are thankful for Tom and for all the other fathers in our lives as we celebrated Father's Day.  

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for island marriages to be healthy and establish new life giving patterns and leave behind the old destructive patterns of previous generations— continue to pray especially for our island friend’s marriage as they move forward with their reconciliation. Pray that our daughter would stay well.  Things like music tours are fun but also exhausting and there is a cold going around, both which can cause a flare up of her arthritis.  Pray that she would be able to get the rest she needs and stay healthy.  Unfortunately, we have not received the passports.  Our youngest son’s passport has not been received by the embassy even though it was sent from the US 10 days ago. They are not sure why this has happened.  This has meant us needing to change our tickets and extend our stay.  Pray that we would get the passports ASAP so that we might return to the islands soon— we’re ready to be back home.