Different Boxes

She had excitedly told the group that they were going to find cloth for matching holiday outfits and in the holiday colors— red and green! We took this proclamation with a grain of salt.

Our 'red' and green outfits

You see, we knew not to trust islanders’ colors. When we first got to Clove Island we were trying to find some curtains for our living room and we were thinking that a soft pink might go well with the furniture and decorations already there. Our landlady happily declared that after a long search she had found the color cloth we needed and presented us with a very bright, close to neon orange fabric. When we decided to clarify that we wanted “pink”, she smiled and pointed to the garish orange and said, “yes, pink!” We left that interaction stupefied.

Since then we’ve seen many island women pair colored tops with the traditional wraps in ways that to us seemed to clash, but which islanders said matched! So this time we weren’t very surprised when the holiday outfits returned decidedly green and orange instead of green and red. It wasn’t a big deal— the holiday isn’t about what colors we wear after all, so we joined with others in praising the pretty cloth and didn’t say anything about what was to us the ‘wrong’ colors.  

The issue is that islanders just have different boxes or categories for colors and for them orange/pink/red are usually all in one box. In the US, we are actually quite particular about colors and for the sake of matching colors would want to separate different shades of red or orange from each.  Scarlet and burgundy may both be considered red, but we wouldn’t say that they are the same.

Now those are masindza!

How we see colors may not seem that important, but it highlights the reality that we don’t all operate with the same boxes or categories. We don’t group or perceive things the same way. Different cultures can look at the same two things (whether objects, actions or ideas) and one group can say, “those are different!” while the other can say, “they’re the same!”

In another lighthearted example, look at the difference between how we and islanders see bananas. For us bananas are bananas, but islanders have two different words (ndrovi and masindza). Ndrovi refers to bananas that are cooked green as a starch (boiled or fried, like potatoes). Masindza are bananas that are eaten yellow and sweet. We were just gifted a bunch of green bananas, and we had the momentary panic because we didn’t know if they were ndrovi that we should cook up right away or if they were masindza for which we should wait to get yellow. To us, they’re all bananas.

But what if our differing boxes are about something more important than red vs orange or ndrovi vs masindza? What if it is borrowing vs stealing? Islanders don’t think you have to automatically return something you borrow unless the owner actually bothers you and asks for it back. What if it’s being honest vs being disrespectful? Sometimes an islander accepts an invitation to an event that they have no intention of attending, because to say no would hurt the relationship and be rude. What if it’s losing one’s temper vs speaking with passion? For some Africans, losing one’s temper or the appearance of anger can be a huge affront. What if it’s being generous vs being taken advantage of? We often wonder if we’ll look like fools or just good people if we give into the demands made of us. What if it’s the difference between tough love vs cold-heartedness or  privacy vs secrecy or accountability vs mistrust…. the list could go on. Do we draw a line between the two categories (if so, where?) or do we see them as being the same thing (and either acceptable or unacceptable)?

Welcomed rain storms

Our cultural assumptions will tempt us to think that we are the analytical ones that always carefully and correctly differentiate things into different categories, but we need to realize that we won’t always be on the critical side of these differences. Islanders will sometimes look at us and see our ideas and actions as clashing terribly even as we think we are matching perfectly.

We need grace for others and humility in ourselves. May our eyes be opened to the nuances and categories to which we are currently blind!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our colleagues on the small island got all their bags and their children are starting to adjust. One of the refugee families that our teammate has befriended have reunited on the French Island after months of separation (the route to reunion was somewhat questionable, but we are thankful that they are together and safe). Our older son traveled to the big island by himself this past weekend, we are thankful that his travels and time there went well and for the family that hosted him. The distribution of proverb calendars has been going well and led to some positive interactions. After weeks without a good trash solution in our island capital, it seems like a trash truck is coming around and collecting trash again.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
This week and until the end of the month, we are going to help facilitate an online course for future/current leaders in a neighboring country. Pray for us that we’d have the necessary time to devote to this course and that the participants would learn a lot from the material and have the needed internet connections and time to participate fully. We are traveling in a couple weeks and have a long to-do list before we leave to make sure things are ready for the new family that will come back with us. Pray that we’d find the time to get it all done. Continue to pray for all our colleagues and the new family in transition. This coming weekend our teammate in the US makes her way back to Africa— pray for her goodbyes and travel. Continue to pray for the body for unity, growth and trust— a new believer (hopefully inadvertently) was not careful in how he talked about a gathering that led another believer to experience some pressure and threats. Pray for healing of relationship in that situation and for light to shine in darkness.