Connecting

How do people connect? Or more importantly how do we connect other people to each other?

Connecting at an English Ceremony?

At an English class graduation ceremony this weekend I noticed how two teachers from different programs, different villages, different ages really connected.  They were talking about how to help each other and their English programs thrive.  Meanwhile two other teachers stood off to the side.  They also represented different villages, programs, ages—but they were not connecting in the same way.  What was going on?  Was it simply personality?  Or could there be something we are missing?

We are, admittedly, not natural networkers.  Some people seem to be able to create great webs of connection and relationships and help connect people to one another.  We are not gifted at this.  Yet we realize the necessity of helping make connections if we want to see communities grow on the islands.

It is often a challenge for us on the islands—what connects people and what doesn’t?  It seems more complicated than in America. In America it seems like a fairly simple formula: 

[Similar Interests] x [Shared Time] = [Greater Connection]

We know it’s more complicated than that, but lots of friendships start around these building blocks.  But it does not seem to work that way in the islands.  Take for instance, similar interests.  We have tried, over the years to bring brothers or sisters together for regular meetings—people that should have similar interests—but time and again, most attempts to create connection by simply creating shared time have failed.  Similar Interests and Shared Time usually are not enough.  The connections may continued for as long as the foreigners are organizing it, but once they stop the connection falls apart.

So what does seem to bond islanders together?  Interest and shared time do play roles.  We have seen people bond because of English and become a sort of social group.  We see this also with sports teams and drumming groups or school groups.

Connecting at a cultural event?

Another things that bonds people together is self-interest.  It pains us to say it, but many relationships are based on gain.  One good island friend will talk about this in a shameless way.  “Relationships are how you get anything out of this life.  They are more important than money.  I have gotten so many things from being friends with you.”  He is not talking about abstract things like love or knowledge. He means material things or advantages like a business opportunity or the gifts we bought him in the US. This can sound shallow to American ears, but is perfectly reasonable to islanders.  

But we’re not sure if mere social groups nor relationships based on self-interest carry a lot of trust for islanders. And trust is something we definitely desire in the connections we make.

So what else? Family and village are certainly a factor.  It’s just easier for an islander to trust someone who is from the same place —or even better shares some blood-relationship with them.  There is somehow the sense that someone from another place, someone with no relation, will eventually cheat you and can’t be trusted.  


So the island formula might look something like:

[Similar Interest] x [Shared Time] x [Similar Family/Village] x [Mutual Gain] = [Greater Connection]

All this could seem rather depressing. Take for instance, Uhaju, who is desperate for more community.  Recently we were able to bring him to a gathering where he was able to meet other brothers and sisters.  He was greatly encouraged by the meeting, but did any connection arise from it?  Time will tell, but nothing immediately has arisen.  Looking at the formula above, only 2 of the 4 factors had been filled.  Uhaju has no family/village connection that we are aware of.  And it seems there is little worldly profit for others to gain in a connection to him. But thankfully there is a higher power at work than this formula and we have seen a few examples of great connection happen between islanders, even when they were from different walks of life and different villages, even when one was poor and/or uneducated and didn’t have much to offer.  

Or maybe we’re looking at those outliers in the wrong way. Maybe all the factors of the formula have been fulfilled in those instances, but just in nontraditional ways.  Because in truth all of these factors are fulfilled in the good news that tells us we are one family, blessing each other, growing together (mutual gain) in our shared interests and desire to be together. Connection is possible, even against the odds. Perhaps we just need to pray for it!

Birthday Beach Outing

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Tom was sick this week, but we are thankful that he is feeling better and that we were still able to celebrate his birthday (just slightly more subdued). We’re thankful that Dimi made it safely back to the islands and that it seems like his trip was encouraging. Tom was able to get a multi-entry visa for Kenya, something we’ve never been able to get before but very helpful. Our teammate had a good final week on the island with lots of good interactions and is now on her way back to her home country.  


PRAYERS REQUESTED
Lots of people are sick on Clove Island right now with cold/flu like symptoms. Testing isn’t happening much anymore, so not sure if it is a COVID wave or something else, but everyone we talk to has someone in their family not doing well. Pray for healing and quick passing of this wave of illness. The women were meant to meet this week, but it’s unclear whether enough people are healthy. Pray that the meeting would still happen even if it needs to be postponed. We continue to pray for Uhaju and increasing connections between brothers and sisters on the islands. Tom leaves Clove Island on Saturday for a week- pray for safe travels and connections. We read that the airline might have a pilot strike soon— pray that his flights still fly! Continue to pray for the islands amidst continuing shortages.