The Good Neighbor Test

Took hike up stairs overlooking our town

They had come in quietly, without saying a word. So it was a surprise when I turned around and found two little girls in the middle of my house. I was surprised again by the next words out of their mouth.
“Give us money,” the older one said quietly.
I looked at them seriously. They were about the age of our boys, around 4 and 6 years old. I recognized them vaguely—they were some of our new neighbors.

It was a test—the neighbors were trying to figure out where we fit in.

On the islands there is a system in which wealthier people take care of poorer people. There are very few true beggars and they almost always have a visible disability. But poorer people usually have a network of people that they ask when they are in need—it is a network of existing relationships, often through the family. They have claim toward asking certain people for assistance.

They took most of the pictures

But then we come in.  We are foreigners and so automatically it is assumed we are wealthy.  But at the same time, we aren’t in any existing network. Where do we fit in? Does everyone have a claim to ask us for help or does no one have a claim? Sometimes it is the first interactions that set the precedent. How are we going to be known in our neighborhood. We want to be known as generous, loving people. We want to enter the give-and-take network that undergirds the community but at the same time we can’t support everyone. We also want to be culturally appropriate. We don’t want to give without relationship, but at the same time, relationships have to start somewhere.

All these things were running through my head as I looked at these two little girls. Perhaps they just wanted a coin to buy candy, or perhaps an adult sent them. They hadn’t asked permission to enter our home and they hadn’t greeted me (two things their culture requires), but they seemed shy. After a brief talk with them and Tom, I put some produce in a plastic bag and gave it to them with the message that we didn’t give money to little kids but their mother could come and talk to us.

A few minutes later they were back and said their mom was sick. They took me down an alley and into a tin shack area to their mother. Two smaller kids were already gnawing on a couple of the carrots I had given them. The mother was pregnant with her fifth and wanted money. Unfortunately, Ma Riziki, our next door neighbor from our previous house, had asked for food the day before and my kitchen was pretty bare. So I returned home with the two girls trailing behind. I went to one of the little neighborhood shops and bought some basic foods—rice, sardines, oil—and took it back to the mother. I wondered if she was disappointed that I didn’t just give her money, but she said thank you all the same. I shared a little with her about how we look to God when we have troubles— hoping that I could make this first visit more about beginning a relationship rather than just charity.

Our town

I went home, feeling like this first test had gone well, but not knowing for sure. The very next afternoon the girls were at our door again. I prepared myself to hear another request for money or food. Instead, the oldest girl said, “Mom told us to come over here and play.” The girls ended up playing with our kids for the rest of the afternoon. A new relationship has begun. 

PRAYERS ANSWERED

Our newest team member arrived today! We are thankful that her boat trip from the smallest island went well. We got our visas! We are thankful for the continued favor we have here on Clove Island. We feel like we’ve had several good interactions with new neighbors, though the combination of new and old relationships to maintain can be a little overwhelming.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Tomorrow we do a little orientation for our newly arrived teammate and the next day she goes into a week-long homestay with an island family. Continue to pray for her transition and that her homestay experience will be a blessing all around. The translation project has lost one of its island workers, which could be a blessing in disguise but is still difficult. Pray for a clear way forward. Pray for us to get into good and healthy patterns as we start life as team and settle into more of a routine. We have two women in our lives that are waiting to give birth— Tom’s sister back in the States and one of our new neighbors. Please pray for easy deliveries and healthy babies for both of them.

Language Mix

Our kids love rainy season!

I find language fascinating. From the history of how languages develop, how they both shape culture and are shaped by culture, how dialects break off and how our brains process multiple languages… Language is a complex world of study.

Our return to the islands has meant diving back into language. Here are three little language anecdotes from this week.

Keeping languages straight— “Ngasi wanono,” the words were out of my mouth before I realized,  “wait, that’s the wrong language.” I quickly apologized for speaking the dialect of Volcano Island to Clove Islanders. They laughed off my mistake and assured me that it is really just one big language. Still, I never usually revert back to the language of Volcano Island, where we lived from 2009-20011. But we had spent four days on Volcano Island waiting for the boat to take us to Clove Island and somehow the old dialect was re-activated in my brain. Then we got back to Clove Island and our new landlords (who are very westernized) insisted on using French with us and at the same time we got an email from French friends. Another foreign language portion of my brain had to be re-activated. Sometimes my brain struggles to come up with the appropriate vocabulary on the spot (sometimes I stumble over the right English word even). It will get better, my brain just has to catch up. I was encouraged though to hear that one of the visiting linguistic consultants with decades of experience was trying to have a conversation with an islander by speaking Malagasy (language of Madagascar) before the other consultant pointed out that she was no longer speaking French.

Tom & kids take care of flooded area after storm

Celebrating local language— It had been going on for hours. An unending visit circling the same ridiculous conversation. Our one visitor with his big cowboy hat that reads “USA” always ventures on the ridiculous but tonight he kept coming back to an argument about differences in the local language as spoken by his home town (on the other side of the island) and the capital area (where we live). His statements showed a lack of understanding of the grammar of his own language and an unashamed bias for his hometown’s version. No one engaged him but he kept continuing and repeating his one-sided debate for what seemed like hours. Our other guest was Huomba.  Huomba is one of the most thoughtful young island men we’ve met and he is always very careful in his speech. He has a passion for his local language. He has been studying it and working with an association to promote literacy and writing in the local language. After a long time of silent listening and pondering, he formulated one thoughtful comment, “The differences within our language show that our language is rich.” After that he just sat smiling and shaking his head at his fellow-islander’s rantings.

Kids in a language soup— It was our first time meeting again with the Swiss group on the islands. We were together Sunday morning to sing and study together. Our kids and theirs constitute almost the entire population of white kids on Clove island. The kids range from around 2 years to our daughter at 8 years old. The Swiss kids’ mother tongue is Swiss German, our kids’ mother tongue is English, but all six kids have been thrown into a world where they are surrounded by the island language and French, with a variety of Arabic phrases thrown in for good measure. As adults we had three different mother tongues between us and we got by with a mix of English, French and local language. We looked over at our kids with no common language between them. They seemed to be getting on well…apparently you don’t need that much language to play!

Right now some of our friends and colleagues are in the thick of thinking about language very deeply as they consider the right words to use in translating important texts.  What our friend Huomba said resonates in my head, “Our language is rich.”  I think this is true of all languages.  Just like the people who use them, languages are examples of the richness and complexity of people and human societies.  Understanding and using a language is like unlocking a great treasure…there is beauty and wealth and blessing from God.  Language is rich and those who learn it can partake of those riches! Persevere, all you language learners out there!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We’ve had a constant stream of visitors since coming back to Clove Island, sometimes it has been tiring but mostly it has been really nice to reconnect with our old friends and we’ve also been happy with some fledgling friendships with our new neighbors. We are extra thankful for the good weather we had for our boat ride last week as since then it has been storm after storm. Some of the storms have been pretty violent!  We are feeling much more settled in. We’ve unpacked almost everything and have most of our essentials now. We continue to be very thankful for our new house. A large kitchen cabinet fell from the wall as Megan was preparing dinner! It wasn’t mounted well. We lost several dishes and Megan has a bruised elbow, but we are very thankful that no one was badly hurt. The kids won’t start school for a couple more weeks (they will start with the new trimester). We are thankful that they will have some time to adjust to island life before starting local school.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The consultants and our teammate have had a good and tiring week meeting and talking about translation. It continues this week! Pray for stamina through the long days and for good productivity. We are renewing our annual visas this week. We aren’t expecting any problems, but please pray that they get processed without incident. Our newest teammate is supposed to be arriving on Monday from the neighboring island— pray for her as she says goodbye to her village and teammates on the small island. Pray for her boat trip, for a calm ocean and uneventful travel. Pray for a smooth transition to life and work on Clove Island and that we’d be able to support well in the process.

Welcome Back

Happy to be back on Clove Island

First of all, thank you everyone who prayed for our safe boat travels.  It went extremely well.  The seas were calm, no one got sick and we made great time (it took about 3 1/2 hours).  Now this may be surprising to some people, but this is actually the first time we’ve returned to the same place of service after a long break.  Although we have been living in the islands since 2009, our last return had us moving from Volcano Island to Clove Island.  We’ve been on Clove Island ever since, but this was our first return after a long hiatus.

Now islanders are used to people traveling.  People travel for school, medical reasons, job opportunities etc.  So a six month sojourn is not so uncommon.  But it also means islanders are very good at welcoming people back—they have lots of practice.  So what did it look like to be welcomed back?

Getting off the boat it did not take long for many of our friends to find us.  Some waited outside the gate, others paid extra to be let in and help with our bags.  Many handshakes, hugs and French bisous  were exchanged!  Then someone brought out the leis.  Much like Hawaii, it is traditional to welcome people to Clove Island with flower necklaces (they call them mau) these are colorful, sweet smelling garlands that are often primarily feature jasmine (especially for men), but for women will frequently contain different flowers and even spices like cloves. 

Megan and son leaving the port with our necklaces

Walking through the gate we were met by our landlord, more friends and more maus!  Tom looked like some sort of lion with a mane of four great flower necklaces draped around his neck.  All our bags were quickly thrown into taxis (prearranged by friends) and soon we were at our new house.  Bags were grabbed by yet more friends as neighbors from our old neighborhood (we moved a couple of blocks down the street) started to arrive.  In no time flat our bags were in the house and more hand shakes, smiles and bisous were exchanged.  A prayer was said in honor of the occasion and then many went their way promising to return to visit again soon.  Other, closer friends stayed.  The landlord arrived with food and those who had remained joined us for a delicious meal of fried bananas, samosas, grilled fish, and salad with fresh avocado along with cold water, and avocado juice.

After a while even these friends left and were left to rest and unpack, but that is not to say the welcoming was finished.  Since our arrival on Thursday our house has felt a little bit like grand central station as friend after friend has paid us a welcoming visit.  Often they come in twos, sometimes on their own, but still they come.  In between we try to put things away and arrange the house.  (Don’t worry, we’re getting there.)

More necklaces outside the port's main gate

This is our fifth day back and it seems like the visits are starting to diminish.  It is time for us to start returning those visits.  At the moment we don’t have to go far to find ourselves reengaging with people we know (it’s a small island).  We’ve also managed to cause a number of small traffic jams as richer friends stop their cars in the middle of the street to welcome us back and ask about our time in the States.

We don’t remember everyone’s name, and some we are more excited to see than others, but at the same time, there is something special about coming back, seeing people smile and knowing that we are loved.  We may be foreigners and we will always be foreigners, but we are loved.  And that’s a nice feeling.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Thank you for your prayers for our boat travels— it was miraculously calm and so the ride was smooth and fast (just 3.5 hours from the big island to our island). The kids didn’t get sick. We arrived with plenty of daylight left. It was good. We are thankful to be back. We are also very thankful for our new house and new landlord— he worked very hard to fix all the plumbing and electrical issues and we continue to be happy with the house. We’ve already had some good conversations with islanders since our return. Our daughter has already connected well with some new neighbors, we are thankful that she can find friends and jump back into French and the local language. 



PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for us as we focus on diving back into the local language and community. Pray that we would grow in fluency and depth in the local language. Pray that we would have meaningful interactions and find new depth of relationships. Pray for our kids. The older two seem to be doing really well, the youngest seems a little stressed by the fact that we aren’t living on our old house on Clove Island. Pray also for the kids as we talk to their old school this week and try to figure out what putting them back in school would look like. We also hope to encourage the local language more with our kids, pray that this would go well (they learn French in school).  Some consultants are on the islands for the next two weeks to help with the translation work— pray for a productive time and good relationships all around and that there would soon be books ready to be used by islanders! Our newest teammate will be moving from the small island to Clove Island on March 20th, pray for her as she makes that transition that she would finish her time well on the small island and be ready for the next phase of her journey with us. 

The Final Step

Hot and rainy back on the islands!

We’ve made it to “the islands”, but not to OUR island. Clove Island is still unseen, on the other side of the big volcano and across lots of ocean. To get there with all our luggage (which all made it this far!) we’ll have to brave the inter-islands boats…vessels known for unreliable schedules, delays, discomfort and seasickness. So we sit in a simple island-style motel, anxious to complete the final step on our journey.  We’re back and yet the final and perhaps most difficult steps of our journey are still before us.

“That final step is often the hardest,” the speaker said, talking to a room packed full of women. These women had all raised funds, crossed oceans, struggled in new cultures and learned foreign languages in order to be agents of change in Africa—but the final step of leaving their homes, crossing the street and engaging with people can sometimes be the most daunting of these tasks. Sitting in that room of women, I was struck by how blessed we are on the islands. Many people in that room lived in contexts where it was very difficult to get to know local women because women are locked away in their homes and aren’t usually free to mingle and socialize. For many of them making any sort of relationship happen is that next difficult step they are trying to take.

Our older two with their art projects from education week

How different from the islands where breaking into relationships isn’t usually the hard part. Islanders will come to you—even burst into your house! In many island communities groups of people are just sitting along the streets, outside their homes, waiting for something to talk about. Now, you still have to muster up the courage to cross the street and talk to them, but for the most part islanders are welcoming and friendly (especially when they hear you speaking in their language).  No, the final step for those of us who work on the islands is seeing the connections go deeper.

 We’ve realized that you don’t really know an islander until you get to know their family as well.  So one relationship means many relationships.  The final step is getting in among the family. and seeing change in the lives of family groups and whole communities (not just individuals). But to do that usually means going with them.  Going with them to their homes, going with them to their villages, going with them to weddings and funerals—Going with them.  It can feel like a daunting final step, but thankfully we have someone who goes before us.

No slides on Clove Island, so enjoyed it in East Africa

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We made it to the islands with all our luggage! The island customs agent was very friendly and only had us open one token bag! The kids’ academic testing went well and we were given good advice about how to continue to support them in their education.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
It will be a strange week as we try to make it back to Clove Island. Please pray with us that the weather and seas are calm and the boats in good repair so we can make it home. Our boat is supposed to leave on Thursday— pray that the trip would go smoothly (a good day is 3 hours, a bad day can be 6-10 hours). Pray that we don’t get seasick. Pray for our kids as it is easy for them to get antsy in this limbo time. Pray for our return to Clove Island and as we unpack and settle into our new house there (we arranged the rental of a new house before we left). Pray that we would reconnect well with old friends and start off on a good foot with new neighbors and acquaintances. Megan’s aunt had a heart attack and subsequent surgery last week— please pray for her recovery.

Africa is a Big Place

Megan & boys with "classic" African backdrop

East Africa feels like “classic” Africa, or the Africa of films.  Long sweeping vistas, acacia trees, giraffes and zebras seen from the highway.  The earth is red and the soil is rich.  Everything seems so spread out here—people walk for miles!  Houses do not stand one against the other, but seem to require their own breathing room.  Along the road there seems to be a regular rotation of empty space, followed by shops, followed by a restaurant, followed by a church, and then repeated  The weather is dry and cool.  The African sun still beats down during the day, but in the morning and at night, the winds come up and the land cools down and you happily snuggle under a warm blanket as you tuck into bed.

How different from our Clove Island, which we await with great longing to see again.  The jungle rises from the ocean.  The heat slaps you in the face like a wet towel and there is little to relieve it except a cold shower or a rotating fan.  The taxis drive you past houses crammed up against and on top of other houses.  The people smile and wave—looking in to see if they know you, because everyone knows everyone on our island! Bats fly across the skies of the setting sun as the call to prayer echoes around the mango trees.

Our youngest checking the landscape

It may have been more than a week since we left the States, but we are still only making our way to the Islands.  Because travel to the islands is difficult and expensive, it sometimes makes sense to combine trips to and from together.  That is how we have come to be in East Africa for the past two weeks for two conferences and now a week of school testing for our children. 

It is times like this that we realize again what a large continent Africa is.  At the first conference we attended we met people from all over the continent.  Some came from steamy jungles, others from dry deserts.  Some from the coastlands, others from so far inland that it takes a 24 hour bus ride to make it to an airport.  Some live in air-conditioned homes in gated communities, others live in mud huts and walk half a mile to fetch water.  It was a wonderful time to gather together and learn and hear from a great variety of experiences while at the same time finding the commonality and purpose in what we do.  It was so refreshing to be among such a diverse group of people with the same heart and vision.

Our second conference was less diverse. It was only people who work on the islands, but it was all the more special for it.  It was wonderful to be with our colleagues and see just how much we are on the same page, how much we appreciate one another and how much we feel like family.  What a privilege it is to serve with such wonderful people!

Reconnecting with old teammates

As I write this, I am still in East Africa and as I listen to a cold wind gusting outside my window and sit comfortably in my mosquito free room with continual electricity and no need of a fan, I am reminded again by how very different and very big this great continent is.  The islands won’t be like this but the islands await…

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We adjusted quickly to the time zone. The conferences were great— both encouraging and giving us a lot of good ideas and practices to implement on the islands. We’re excited to get back and try them out! We continue to feel blessed that we can count all these great people our colleagues. Our kids seem to be doing well so far.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our old team leaders are leaving the islands for another assignment in just five weeks. Their current team on the big island are having a final goodbye weekend with them here in East Africa before returning to the islands for their final weeks. We are so thankful for being able to serve under them and for all their years on the islands. They are very loved on the islands. Pray for a great time of finishing for them and for all the deep relationships they have with islanders and they share with them and say goodbye  Continue to pray for our kids— that the testing will go well for our older two and that we would get good advice for their education, that they would continue to be such good sports as we continue to pack up and move from place to place (they are on their 4th beds since arriving in Africa and we have 2-3 more before we’re home on Clove Island). Pray for our return to the islands and all that entails.

Blessings in Disguise

A good thing from the snowstorm: sledding!

A big snowstorm led to a new flight time, which meant we wouldn’t make our connections, which meant we had to cancel our old itinerary, which meant waiting on-hold for hours with multiple airlines. Finally we had a new itinerary, arriving a day and a half later than we had hoped.

Bummer, right? But actually it didn’t take us long to realize that the ways things worked out was actually pretty nice and as the last few days have played out, we are just more impressed by God’s hand blessing us. Here are some of the blessings of our new travel plan.

An extra day in the USA meant…

• an extra day for our son to recover from his tummy bug
• a day to play in the snow (and go sledding)
• time to send some needed letters
• time to properly clean and sort through the stuff we were leaving behind (rather than leaving it as a burden for others)

That extra day meant we left the USA feeling much better about how we were leaving everything behind.

Kids exploring guesthouse in Africa

The new travel itinerary meant…

• only one connection rather than two (this is huge with three kids)
• a better airline (we got passed to a bigger partner airline in the rescheduling)
• more sleep (we didn’t have to leave the house at 3am)
• better transition to time zone (we arrived at our final destination at night so we could just go to sleep rather than having to force ourselves to stay awake)
• we were unknowingly on the same flight to Africa as a colleague from the islands!
• our gracious colleague and friend was able to take most our bags with him (we forgot to request a van to pick us up, so there is no way our arranged taxi could have taken all our stuff!)

So here we are sitting in Africa, waiting to leave for a conference, very thankful for the last minute changes that brought us here.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We made it safely to mainland Africa with all our luggage! Our extra day and new travel itinerary were a blessing! We’ve only been back in Africa for half a day, but we’ve already got to see many old friends (since people across Africa are here for the upcoming conference). Our kids made it through the long hours of travel!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Please pray for our kids (and us) as we transition to the time zone and catch up on sleep. The transition will be long for the kids : we will be in mainland Africa for two weeks before going to the islands (a conference this week, a gathering of island workers on the weekend and conference/testing for homeschooled kids the following week), then we’ll have a few days on the big island before we head home to Clove Island. Pray especially for our youngest who doesn’t remember what all these transitions will be like. Pray that we will be encouraged and challenged by the upcoming conference.

Blessed to be a Blessing

Getting in some shoveling in before we leave

PRAYER UPDATE (Feb 9th): We’re supposed to be leaving for Africa but we're in the middle of a huge snowstorm!?! We’ve had to reschedule all our flights. We now leave on the afternoon of Feb 11th and arrive in Kenya on Feb 12th.  Please keep praying!

Last Sunday we told a large group of friends gathered around us that the next time they would probably see us would be in 2020—three years.  It’s possible we might make it back before then for a vacation, family reunion, or wedding, but those would be short visits.   No extended visits, not enough time to see and update all the people who care about us, not for another 3 years.  That’s just how it usually works in our line of work.

People often ask us.  “What do you think of as home?”  or “do you prefer island life or American life?”  Sometimes it feels like the “right” answer should be that we prefer island life since that is where we are meant to be.  But our honest answer is, “Both.”  When we’re on the islands we love the islands and feel fulfilled, inspired, happy and—truth be told—a little out of place, but in a good way. When we’re in America we feel happy, inspired, loved and also a little out of place.  This too, we think is in a good way.  We have become travelers, ambassadors, traders.  We live in two worlds.

There’s a wise word that was said to an old traveling man long ago, “You are blessed to be a blessing.”  We have found this to be abundantly true in our own lives. The people we’ve met, the friends we’ve shared time with have blessed us deeply.  At the same time, we’ve felt the immense satisfaction of blessing others with some of the things we have experienced and learned from our time on the islands.  We share things we’ve learned, which sparks an idea for someone so they respond to us with challenging questions, or integrate our thoughts with something they’ve been reading. Just yesterday someone gave us a book that had inspired them and thought we might in turn be inspired by it and so we were blessed again.  It’s been a wonderful cycle of exchange,  blessings while being blessed during our time in the States. But now we must go and return to our other home.

So we go.  And we take the blessings we have received and we bring them to the islands.  And there, in a different and yet equally fulfilling way we are “blessed to be a blessing.”  Again we feel so loved and blessed by the friends and neighbors who will greet us with big smiles and all sorts of island celebration.  They will bless us with gifts of food and time and sharing their lives.  We will be inspired to think and see the world in new ways.  And at the same time, we are given the opportunity to bless our island friends with a different view of the world, different ways of understanding, to help them in times of need and want, and to give them a new sense of hope and purpose.  And so we go with the prayers and blessings of one place and we carry them to another place.  There we give these blessings out and receive them in kind only to carry them back again at some future date.  Back and forth we go on our trade, like the spice traders of old, and like them we discover great wealth as we bring two cultures together trading and sharing and gaining from each transaction—only we do not gain in gold, but something far more precious.

Make Way for Ducklings & our kids

PRAYERS ANSWERED
This is our last blog from the States, next week we’ll be back in Africa. We are thankful for so many good months here in the States, for all the people who have blessed us time and again with their prayers, love, listening ears and generosity.  We are thankful for the American experiences we’ve been able to  have as a family over the past months from Disneyland to fall colors to Make Way For Ducklings in Boston.  We are thankful for how well our kids have done through it all with travel, homeschool and lots and lots of people.  We are grateful for the way our stories and reflections from the islands have been well received and blessed people.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our next blog will be from Africa, and in between we will have to pack, get up in the middle of the night and catch three planes to make it to our first destination of Kenya.  Pray for all the difficulties that go along with that, for patience and kindness with one another when we’re all tired out from long travels.  Our minds are both here and there, pray for focus and finding our way in this time of transition.  We would also ask you to pray for a family who are friends of ours.  The wife and mother has recently had surgery to remove a brain tumor and there have been complications.  The road to recovery will be long.  Please lift up her, her husband, and their two young children as they struggle through this hard time.