English class was starting. Students were coming into the room and sitting down at the table. One of the young men in his twenties who was sitting near me noticed a certain girl come in and sit down. With a less than innocent look in his eye, he called out to her, “Wow, you are so beautiful.”
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Recent walk overlooking our town |
The girl was clearly embarrassed as was most of the class at this statement, which was just shy of a cat whistle.
The young man looked at everyone defiantly and said, “What? Is it forbidden to appreciate beauty?” No one spoke. And he turned to me and asked in the same haughty tone, “Teacher, is it forbidden to appreciate beauty?”…
What would you have said?
Such unanticipated moments seem to happen quite often. Rarely do I get them completely right. Often I walk away thinking about the thing I wish I had said. I’ve wondered about that. Why doesn’t the Spirit give me better words, the most clever responses, the best answer for the moment? Sometimes He does, but more often than not, I don’t say the things I wish I had said. But then I remember that with most things we don’t expect to get them right the first time. Musicians need to practice, authors need editors, and athletes need training. So rather than despairing, we’ve taken to looking at these times as learning opportunities. We don’t need to get everything right the first time, but we should learn from our mistakes. What would have been a better answer? What could I say the next time? Sometimes we even discuss these encounters together as a team to get more input: “How could we have answered in a way that would have been beneficial and truth speaking?”
“Teacher, is it forbidden to appreciate beauty?”
After a short pause, I replied, “I am not a [follower of your faith]. So I cannot tell you what is forbidden or not forbidden for you. I follow [J] and we don’t talk about what is forbidden or not forbidden but about what is good and true. But I will say, that where I come from, what you did was not polite.”
As I reflect on that answer, it wasn’t bad. I got to say that I am different and do not adhere to their religion. I was able to rephrase things in terms of good and true instead of forbidden not forbidden. I was able to say that what he did was impolite and so bring him down a peg. But after class I thought about a better answer, and as I discussed it with Megan she came up with a similar better answer too.
What would have been a better answer? It is hard to say, but if I could do it over again, I would have said, “I am not a [follower of your faith]. So I cannot tell you what is forbidden or not forbidden for you. But I am a follower of [J], and he tells us that God looks at the heart. The intentions of your heart are more important than 'forbidden' or 'not forbidden'. So my friend, did you say those things from a good heart or a bad heart?
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Enjoying time as a family |
There is one more factor that should be mentioned; one more challenge to crafting a good answer. This was in English class, so my answer was in English and had to be at a level that the students could understand. Other times the answer would need to be in the local language and would thus be limited to the answerer’s local language proficiency. So as you think about how you might have answered, keep that thought in mind too.
I hope you are thinking of ways you might have answered (let us know if you’ve got ideas), and we hope you are inspired to debrief similar moments you might have in your context.
We might stumble in our responses the first time, but we learn, we pray and often times a similar opportunity will eventually present itself.
PRAYERS ANSWERED
Tom had good studies with Muki and Mtsa over some difficult passages. Generally, our daughter’s rheumatoid arthritis has been doing much better this vacation break. We are thankful for the decrease in pain and the increase in energy, but continue to pray for total healing! Hashiri has continued to ask good questions and is really seeking to understand forgiveness. We’ve taken some measures that have helped with the mosquitoes in our house. Plans are coming together for a men’s gathering to start in August.
PRAYERS REQUESTED
Tom has started a new English class, which means a new group of islanders for Tom to connect and share with. Pray that he’d have opportunities to share truth with them. An island friend has recently lost his mother, pray that we could be a source of comfort to him. Pray for all the islander students awaiting their test results this week— which will tell them if they can continue on to university in the autumn or if they have to repeat the last year of high school. One of the sick island sisters hopes to travel for medical treatment once all the exam results are released. Pray for wisdom for her family as she’ll probably leave her kids on the islands with her husband and for healing for her.