Parting with Stuff

Back on the islands- bags lined up to give away

It was the final week before we were leaving for America—when COVID19 was still just a problem of a province in China and not something effecting the world— and we were packing the house up for our planned six months away.  Packing is always an opportunity for purging and so we found ourselves, giving, throwing, and lending many things away as our travel day approached.  Questions of what was essential and what was not were daily tasks.  What is worth keeping?  What do we not mind seeing others use?  What do we not mind lending to someone, knowing that the item might not come back to us in the same shape or even at all?  What was an investment (and so worth holding onto)?  What would give us a chance to be generous?

Then there were our neighbors…not all of them, but certain ones…who know that this is a time to ask for stuff. They can feel pretty shameless to our Western sensibilities, but the questions started coming. Can I have this?  Would you give me that?  Could I borrow that for the time you are away?  The regular barrage of questions puts a strain on patience and makes us feel both generous and stingy at the same time.  There are things we want to give away, and do so willingly, but there are things we don’t want to give away, but it doesn’t stop neighbors from asking. 

Tom sorting thru garage in US

Case in point was the blender.  We’ve lived many years without a blender on the islands, but when Megan’s birthday rolled around, we decided this would be the year.  So the blender was new, in good condition, and a birthday present.  So of course, our neighbor wants to borrow it.  In that moment, it was simply too hard to be generous with it.  We know our neighbor and her household well.  We’ve given her gifts before only to see them broken and discarded in record time. We knew lending our nice new blender would be saying goodbye to it—that it would either not come back or it would come back broken—and so in a very island way we said no, which is to say that we didn’t give a direct “no” (since that is rude) but to gave an excuse that could be accepted as a gracious refusal. So we told her that while we were gone our landlady would be using our kitchen including many of our kitchen things (which is true, but didn’t include the blender).  Not our most generous moment, but imagine it may be understandable to some of you.

Fast forward to this week—sheltering in place, travel plans cancelled, looking for projects. How about we clean out all those boxes we stored in my parent’s garage before we traveled to Africa?  And so we pulled down boxes that have been on shelves for 13 years.  Inside we found memories—definitely worth keeping—but other things too.  Books, good books, useful to no one sitting in boxes.  Notebooks, filled with notes from college and seminary classes—why did we hold onto these?  Would we ever read them again?  Cassette tapes which have no cassette player to play them on. 

Why had we kept these things?  At the time it was just too hard to part with them.  At the time they seemed valuable—representing, money or time or effort.  But ten years later they represent wasted resources (books that have gone unread/unused) or wasted space (things to be thrown away or recycled).

Kids enjoying the spring flowers

Africa has certainly taught us to be more generous with our stuff.  We do not hold onto things as tightly as we used to, but at the same time, we still struggle with those attachments.  What is it that makes it so hard to let go of our stuff?  Is it wrong?  Is any of it our stuff anyway?  Hasn’t everything we have been given to us?  On the other hand, aren’t we meant to be good stewards and take good care of the things that have been given to us?  Lord, help us.  These are not easy questions to answer.

I can remember, when we first left for Africa, lending to loved ones all sorts of items—furniture, games, books, clothes—with a caveat that we might want them back some day—especially if the whole Africa thing didn’t work out.  Looking back, it seems like adding that caveat was a foolish thing to do.  Why didn’t we just give it all away? Somehow in the moment the stuff felt too precious. (By the way, if you have something that we lent you 12 years ago—we don’t want it back.  It’s yours.) 

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The island government has finally officially recognized the presence of COVID on the islands. So far they have recognized 4 cases and 1 death.  The reality is probably far more. We are very thankful that it is now being talked about openly and that more measures are being taken. The island brothers and sisters continue to use the WhatsApp group to encourage each other and share prayer requests and we’re encouraged that more of the sharing is happening in the local language now (which makes it more accessible for most). We have been having a good time connecting with people online, including getting to participate in a few services this weekend. We are thankful for the technology. We are also thankful for some warmer weather that allowed us to get outside as a family.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
While we are thankful that the presence of COVID has been officially recognized on the islands, we also realize that the measures being taken are not enough to truly slow the spread. There is a curfew at night, but during the day many islanders are still leaving the houses and interacting with others. Our teammates report that across the street the neighborhood is still gathering all the children for their daily religious lessons. Pray for mercy. COVID doesn’t seem to be hitting Clove Island yet as hard as it is the big island. We have one colleague on the small island who is sick with a cough (as are most of her neighbors), pray for her quick healing and that she could be a light to others. Pray for island brothers and sisters that don’t have smart phones and are more isolated, that they would find encouragement at this time. We’re working on getting a big mailing out this week—pray that it would help people to learn more about what is happening on the islands and that interested people would follow-up with us. Pray for our daughter who turns 12 this week and that we would find good ways to celebrate her.