There's got to be a Better Way

 I looked around the boat.  Everyone was soaked to the bone—including the boat driver.  Everyone looked miserable.  Then I looked outside the boat.  It was a beautiful day.  The ocean was wavy, but not overly so.  A steady but gentle wind was blowing (blowing a continual spray into the boat—soaking us), but I imagine it would have been perfect for sailing.  The island looked beautiful, green and lush.  I thought about how I’d been out on boats in weather like this and called it vacation.  How could it be such a beautiful day for boating and yet such a miserable experience for us?  I sat in the boat, cramped, wet, dreary and downcast thinking: “There’s got to be a better way.”

Waiting for our boat back home to Clove

And we know there is.  We have a friend, an ex-pat, working hard to start a boat business that would transport people from island to island in a reliable, safer, more comfortable manner.  He’s convinced that if such a service were offered, islanders would flock to it and we’re convinced of it too.  We're sure there are plenty of people who would be eager to travel in this way, even if it meant paying a little more for a seat.  Such services exist in lots of other countries. Why not here?

But that’s the part that gets to us.  Why not here?  Islanders have tried but different boat ventures but they can’t seem to make them last.  Why not? Surely, we weren’t the only people in the boat thinking, “There’s got to be a better way!”???

The boats loading up on the small island

C.S. Lewis once said, “We are half-hearted creatures…like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Perhaps we’re taking Lewis out of context, but what is striking to us is not how easily people are pleased, but how easily they are appeased—how much misery they are willing to accept.  If the boat gets us from point A to point B, no matter how awful the journey, we take it.

Where does such a mind set come from?  Years and years of dysfunctional government and systems?  Yes.  A fatalistic worldview supported by religion?  Yes.  A life that is generally full of suffering, difficulty and discomfort that makes islanders numb to such things?  Yes.  Poverty that makes them feel powerless? Yes. Spiritual blindness?  Yes.  Hearts lacking hope?  Yes.  A deadness inside, that discourages the idea of the possibility of change? Yes.    There’s got to be a better way!  Yes.

Back on Clove, very wet

So we sat in the boat, miserable, wet, cold, uncomfortable.  The Lord’s beautiful creation was all around us, a beautiful day full of hope and promise, but we could not see it.  We couldn’t even open our eyes because of the spray.  Most of us were cowered with our eyes shut.

What a picture of the world we live in.  What an illustration of island life.  There’s got to be a better way!  There is a better way.  But will they ever see it?  We sat in the boat, with the Lord’s beautiful creation all around us.  One day they will see it.  One day they will rise above the spray and have hope and joy.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our time leading the orientation for the new team on the small island went well. We are excited for this team. They were welcomed to their village and are now staying with local families for the week!  We made it safely back to Clove Island (though very wet). It was a day later than planned because of canceled boats on Sunday, but our colleague allowed us to stay at her house for the unexpected extra night. Ma Imani said her leg pain has been less this past week.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for the team on the small island— pray for their transition to the heat, for their week staying with local families, for their local language learning and for their acceptance into their new communities. It is an intense first few weeks, so pray that they stay healthy and can sleep/rest well. Pray for our island sister from the small island, who after her court victory, is facing a new obstacle with the village elders. They say that they plan on confronting her this coming Friday and if they don’t like her answers to their questions that they will tear down her house. They have also said no one is allowed to visit her and she isn’t allowed to visit with anyone in the village. Pray for this sister to continue to stand strong. She believes something big will happen on Friday, pray for light to shine in the darkness, for protection for her and her kids and for fear to not take root in her heart. Our older kids have just two weeks left in this school term— pray for stress-free days with a good balance of rest as they finish normal classes and term projects this week.

Kids Learning Language

Our kids were babies when they came to the islands, and the assumption was that they would just learn the local language from growing up here. The idea was that they wouldn’t even have to be formally taught, they would just absorb it. But after watching our family and other families on the islands, we realize that it doesn’t usually work like that.

As little ones, it’s true that our kids learned to respond to the basic commands and greetings that they were bombarded with by local adults. But then, like all island kids, they started local preschool at the age of 3, and at school it was French only, no local language. So throughout elementary school, while we may have wanted our kids’ local language to grow, it didn’t seem fair to push it when going to school in French was challenging and we were needing to help them understand French grammar and vocabulary for their school assignments.

Practicing local language while playing cards

We have good friends whose children are growing up learning 4 languages at once and it is wonderful to see them in action.  The parents seamlessly and almost unconsciously weave different languages into their conversations with their children.  They mix prayers and songs in different languages into their daily life.  The children do not resist this or point out to their parents that they are speaking a different language.  Their parents don’t scold when the children respond in a different language, but the ambiance of language learning seems to naturally permeate all their interactions.  It requires an intense intentionality that to be honest wasn’t even on our radar when our kids were little. We were even advised back in French language school to make sure to speak English at home with our kids, but now we question that advice and wonder if we could have created a more multilingual home and realize that we could have helped our kids more in those early years.

Not that our kids haven’t learned at all. By the time our oldest’s French was good, she wanted to know the local language more and understood a lot, though she usually had to respond in French (which with an educated islander will quickly just move the whole conversation into French).She joined our team day language times and put some of the grammar and vocabulary she needed to understand and speak more. Our older son followed a similar path of becoming interested in the local language once his French was solid.

Our youngest is a different person. He had hearing loss as a young child (which was corrected), so we think he got used to lots of incomprehensible sounds going on around him. So he was content to just let it go on around him without him understanding.  It meant French at school was harder and maybe gave him the idea that he isn’t good at language (a lie that often gets in the way of language learning). He has finished local elementary school now and only doing homeschool, so doesn’t have that stress of having to function in French everyday. So we have started doing local language as part of home school.

Waiting to take boat to small island

We pray that our kids would enjoy the local language, that a natural curiosity would grow and they’d want to know and understand. For our son, we are trying to nurture that curiosity. We focus on vocabulary that interests him (animals, sports, playing). We turn the lessons into games and role plays where he can repeat a few phrases and be silly or argumentative in the local language. We focus on the situations that he encounters a lot, and we do language study in small doses in hopes that his aversion to language learning and fatigue from learning French don’t erect walls that will make it harder the next time.

Language learning is often a slow and long journey, but as we shared in a blog a couple weeks ago, there is an island proverb “slowly, slowly isn’t a handicap.” For our family, language learning has been a long, slow journey, but we remind ourselves that going slowly doesn’t mean we aren’t getting anywhere.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The women’s gathering went well, though we were missing a few people. We started a study of Ruth that was well received. We made it safely to the small island, after traveling by boat. There were several delays, but the ocean was calm, for which we are thankful. The new team has arrived safely with all their bags and are now on the small island and we have finished their first day of orientation! Our teammate’s first week working in the hospital went well.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for us as we lead this orientation for the rest of this week, as well as helping with childcare.  Pray for the stamina of the new workers as they adjust to the heat, new language and lots of meetings (with three of them just coming from 3 weeks of the larger organization’s orientation). May we have wisdom as to how to use the time well, when to speed up, when to slow down, and when to stop. Pray for the little kids on this new team as they grow up surrounded by several languages. Pray for our return travel back to Clove next weekend. Pray for our son to love the local language! Pray for Ma Imani who has had knee/leg problems for several months and is looking into traveling for medical treatment- pray for healing and that the logistics of being away from her kids and getting the care she needs would come together soon.

Surprise! I've Left

 Hi, I hope you are doing well. I would like to tell you that I’m on [the French island].
I plan to live [here].

Back in June we wrote a blog about traveling called,  If You're Going to Travel...  It was mostly about the culture of preparing for traveling—whom you tell, when you tell, why you don’t tell, etc.
This blog is more about the other side of that situation.  This is about not hearing about people’s travel plans, but rather finding out about it after the fact.

Tom encouraging English teachers/students on Clove

Every year it happens.  Students we’ve come to know and love go off to study abroad.  We are happy for them.  We hope the best for them.  But we’re hardly ever told until after the fact.  Sometimes they tell us themselves, like the message above.  Sometimes—mostly, we find out through a friend.  “Did you know so and so is in Morocco?”  “You didn’t hear?  So and so went to Senegal.”  In those cases, we wish the best for them.  It would have been nice to say goodbye, but they are young and off to study abroad.

The message from above was a bit different.  It was from our good friend, Tumayin.  He’s already done his studies and has been teaching English for some time.  He’s someone we’ve worked with for many years. It seemed to us like he had a pretty good life here.  He was busy, making a little bit of money, doing fulfilling and honorable work.  But then he sent us this message this past week.  And just like that he’s gone, another islander illegally immigrating to the French island, and we may not see him again for many years.  It’s a strange feeling.

Papaya carving!

Moreover, Tumayin did not leave to study abroad, but ostensibly to “find a better life.” To find a better paying job, or a better citizenship, or a chance at those things.  It is not certain that he will find them.  His years ahead may be full of hardship because without legal papers to be on the French Island, he will have to hide from authorities and find work under the table.  He will probably have to live in cramped quarters and get by with less.  All the while, he will try to secure his papers that would allow him to stay and move about freely, and maybe even one day travel to Europe and find work there.

I don’t know all the pressures that may be on Tumayin’s life.  Perhaps he has family that pressured him to go.  Perhaps he has more obligations than I am aware of.  But I wouldn’t be surprised if it was simply the temptation of a better life that led him to his decision.  Illegal immigration is a complicated topic and a hot one.  People have strong feelings about it.  But it’s different when you know someone.  I don’t agree with Tumayin’s decision, but I can understand it.  He’s a smart guy with a bright future.  He just couldn’t envision that future happening here on the islands.  Like so many, he’s probably convinced these islands are hopeless—that there is no future for a bright young man here.  

We wish we could have convinced him otherwise.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Tom had two good visits to villages where English programs are just getting going. We will have the women’s gathering this week and plan to study Ruth for the next few monthly meetings (one of the local sisters went to a conference focused on how the story of Ruth can be used to challenge and encourage). Our kids at boarding school seem less stressed. We were able to be vaccinated against cholera (no cases on our island, but a few on the big island so they were offering free vaccination!). We were able to secure boat tickets for the small island, after weeks of trying to figure out if we could fly there. It is nice to have tickets since we travel at the end of this week. It continues to be encouraging to see Mtsa’s growing eagerness to study and learn.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for Tumayin that he would look for hope for his future in eternal things. Pray for interisland travel. There are currently two airlines running, but their planes keep having problems and making travel between islands difficult. Pray that the new team coming to the small island would be able to arrive safely and get to the small island as planned. Pray for us and others who will be boating from Clove Island to the small island to help with the orientation for this team. Pray for smooth seas. May we all arrive safely without difficulties! Pray for the boat project’s needed loan to get approved so that they could start providing reliable transportation. Pray that the women’s gathering would be an encouragement to all and that everyone would be healthy enough to attend (there have been various health problems lately). One island sister just moved to Clove from the small island and wants help to learn English. Pray that we could help her and also encourage her walk. There was a police raid on a Sunday gathering of expat Africans this weekend on the big island. Afterwards the government issued a statement condemning the raid and stating that it violated people’s rights and freedoms. Pray for that gathering that they might be encouraged and that this government statement might be a real indication of increasing freedom.

Wedding Attendance is Still Important

 Over our ten years on the islands, we’ve been to a lot of weddings. More than we can remember. Unlike weddings in the US, you don’t have to know someone well to go to their wedding and you don’t have to receive an individual invitation. News of weddings are spread throughout neighborhoods with everyone who can attending. Foreigners are considered desirable wedding guests, so we are often pointedly invited.

Early weddings- Tom with groom in 2013

When we first came to the islands, we made a point of accepting lots of wedding invitations. They were interesting as we got to know and learn about island culture. It was a chance to strengthen new relationships, so we went to weddings in different contact’s families. But as we’ve stayed longer, we get so many invitations that during the high wedding seasons, we could run ourselves ragged going to all the weddings we hear about. So we’ve became more selective. With our trip to the States this past summer and my back surgery the summer before,  we missed the high wedding seasons two years in a row. We missed a lot of weddings, but I noted that we were so well known in our community that it didn’t seem to hurt relationships— people knew our reasons.

Part of me started to wonder if we could actually cut back on weddings even more—wait for weddings where we really knew the bride or groom. With these thoughts, it was a little begrudgingly that I went to a wedding this month, knowing that I only knew the extended family but couldn’t name the bride or groom and plus, it was meant to be a small “secret” wedding and it didn’t seem to me that I was close enough to the couple to make the guest list. Still I was pointedly asked to go and I went.  And unexpectedly, I met someone new.

She was a woman with some English who was excited to know me. She is obviously not very familiar with our group because she was surprised that I spoke the local language and asked if I had ever been to an island wedding before! I smiled and said that I had been to many ones before. 

Early wedding- our daughter with bride in 2013

Our conversation led to meeting her husband and inviting her to our English Club. She came to our English Club and expressed a desire to become a regular attendee. Then we learned her husband is the hospital director that our teammate is dealing with for her work, so who knows, our helping his wife with English could potentially cause him to have more friendly feelings towards our group. Lots of potential from a single new acquaintance from a single wedding event.  

So, did I need to go to that wedding? I don’t know that I would have been missed by most people if I hadn’t gone, and the bride and groom didn’t seem greatly impacted by my attendance, but I think God wanted me there. Weddings are times of mixing, reminding old friends that we are here and part of the community, and even a time for making new friends! New friends mean new relationship and new opportunities! So I guess there is still a place for going to a random wedding, especially if that’s where God wants us to be!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
There has been a dramatic turn of events for our island sister on the small island who has faced persecution from her father, was taken to court and had the prospect of being kicked out of her home looming over her. The head justice said that she is the sole owner of her property and she cannot be kicked out and that she can even report her father if he bothers her again and also that she is free to follow her own beliefs!  Apparently her father also dropped any complaints against her. This is a huge encouragement and an unexpected answer to prayer. A second airline is opening back up on the islands— meaning that we are now hopeful that we will be able to get to the small island by plane when we need to go in a few weeks. We are thankful for Tom as we celebrated his birthday this past week. We are also thankful that even though he was quite ill on Saturday that the illness was short-lived and he is already feeling much better. We had a nice, short visit with our former teammate and good friend.  Our colleague’s toddler daughter is doing much better and they’ve made it back to the islands.  Their daughter will finish up treatments and go for a check up in a couple of months, but she is doing well.  Thanks for praying!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray that we would have wisdom about what events (ceremonies, weddings, celebrations…) we should attend and which ones to say ‘no’ to— may we be sensitive to God’s leading. Tom is traveling to a remote village this week where someone whom we have trained is trying to open a new English teaching program. Pray that Tom would be a light in this village that we’ve never visited before.  The monthly women’s gatherings have finished the series of studies that we were working through— pray for wisdom about what to do next with them. Pray for our two older kids at boarding school— they are in a busy season at school and are sounding kind of stressed. Pray that they would find the right balance of work, rest and fun, and that stress levels would go way down.

Slowly, Slowly

Slowly, slowly isn’t a handicap.
To go fast is to go, To go slow is to go.
Fast, fast has no blessing.

These island proverbs embrace doing things slowly. These past weeks I was reminded of them and even learned that the neighboring countries have their own versions of these same proverbs in their languages.
It can often be a frustration when two cultures meet if their pace of life is different. Generally the pace of island life is slower. The expectation that things will or should get done in a certain amount of time is different.

Island sunsetting

Our upbringing in the West often valued speed and efficiency.

Time is of the essence.
The early bird gets the worm.
Time is money.
We haven’t got all day.
There’s no time like the present.

It is funny that the blog last week talked about the speedy trip on the back of a boda (African motorcycle), because while that was terrifyingly fast and Tom wished it to slow down, often times things here move slowly and we wish they would move faster. As a very apt example, as I was walking in an international airport last week, I often found myself stuck behind groups of people walking at a much slower pace than I would have chosen or expected.  I found myself waiting for an opening, so that I might quickly get by and go at my own, faster pace.

We have changed though.  We have slowed down during our life on the islands. We don’t come to a day with the same expectations that we did when we first arrived. One of our colleagues here was talking about a short-termer who struggles with not getting much done each day. She came from being a terribly efficient person in her western home country with a packed schedule. Now she sits around talking to people, learning language and making friends, and feels like she isn’t getting anything done. We gave our usual advice for people new to the islands— set low expectations for each day. Plan on getting one thing done in the morning, one thing done in the afternoon.  If you get to more, great! If not, great! Because ultimately it isn’t in our control. I might want to speed around and get a lot of things done but an errand at an office (that seems like it should take 5 minutes) might take hours. I might have to wait a long time and then learn I have to come back another day. I might plan to do something and then have an unexpected visitor that talks for a long time before eventually coming to the reason they came (if they had one).

Slowly, slowly sugar crystals form rock candy!

But even if it was all in my control and I could rush and get lots done, those proverbs tell us that islanders don’t see that as a good thing. I have had islanders comment a few times on the speed I walk. If I am walking by myself, going somewhere on an errand for example, it’s not conscious but I walk much faster than islanders would. They ask me if everything is okay? Am I in a hurry? One islander talked about how foreigners are always walking by so fast, so they don’t greet the people they pass properly or thoroughly enough.

It is still a challenge sometimes to slow myself down and to be content with the slower speed. I have one island friend that walks very slowly and it takes a lot of conscious effort to walk at her speed.  But I have to remind myself that this is what I am doing right now, I am walking with my friend, so I can take all the time needed for that, even if that is slowly, slowly.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We made it back safely to Clove Island with our daughter’s refrigerated meds! Thanks for praying. Our colleague’s toddler daughter had an encouraging report from her scans and is able to cut back on a lot of her meds and was released from the hospital.  Our teammate will be able to work at the hospital and was able to meet the island woman that she will be working closely with, still waiting to negotiate all the expectations. Tom has been able to study with Muki and his son Mtsa several times. Our island sister on the small island has continued to stand strong. A new worker has arrived safely on the big island and started orientation. 


PRAYERS REQUESTED
One of our good friends and former colleagues is visiting the islands this week, pray that her short time would encourage all those that she is able to reconnect with (including us!). The heat has definitely increased— pray for our stamina and energy levels as we head into the hotter, more humid season. Next month we will be going to the small island to help run the orientation for the new team starting there, pray for us as we coordinate with the team leaders and plan that time. Pray also that we would know the best way to travel to the small island (there are no direct flights right now, so the airline makes people pay double to go via the big island). One brother on Clove Island just lost his aunt (who was also his defender before the rest of his family), pray that he would be comforted and strengthen his relationship with the rest of his family during this time of grief.

A Terrifying Lesson in Bodas

We have been traveling the past few weeks.  Our responsibilities have taken us to a few different countries where we’ve had the challenge and the pleasure of interacting with people of different cultures.  For the most part it has been a great blessing to listen, to learn and try to understand different perspectives.  It can be challenging, but well worth the challenge, to learn to see the world in a new way.

Island moto driver with passenger

Usually such things take time.  It is through repeated conversations and talking together over meals or cups of coffee and tea that you begin to appreciate the differences and understand the other’s culture.  But there are some things that can be a sort of high speed experience that leads to new understanding—specifically I’m talking about a boda ride.

On the islands, many people have motorcylces.  It is a major means of transportation.  Tom has often been a passenger on one in order to be able to get to trainings on the far side of the island.  Riding on the back of a motorcycle is not a new experience.  But in East Africa, you can get a motorcycle taxi to take you places—it’s called a boda.  You can even book it on Uber.  Traffic in  this East African capital is often terrible.  Getting across town at rush hour to pick up your daughter’s medication is a nightmare.  Suddenly, the idea of a boda looks like a great solution.  Destination: Hospital—and in no time, Bonface, the boda driver, has pulled up to the curb and off we go.  

Things you should know about boda drivers.  They don’t stop for red lights, they just weave through them. They see sidewalks as a completely valid path to their destination.  The emergency lane need only be two feet wide to be considered a viable through way.  All of these I found completely terrifying to experience as a passenger.  

Together with all our kids

Bonface would weave through the traffic like a snake through the grass, somehow avoiding hitting side view mirrors every time (how he did this I’m still not sure as I thought we would surely hit them every time).  As we zipped down that two foot space of emergency lane, crunching over gravel and narrowly avoiding wing mirrors, I looked down into the deep concrete ditch by the side of the road that I would surely go flying into if Bonface made a mistake.  Most terrifying of all was taking the long curve onto the bridge.  Bonface leaned into the curve.  I leaned out—thinking about those motorcycle racers who drag their heavily padded knees on the track when taking the tight turns and looking at my own knees only covered by a thin pair of jeans and wanting them as far away from the pavement as possible.

Bonface dropped me off at the hospital in a quarter of the time it would have taken in a taxi.  His demeanor was indifferent—not as if he had just tempted death multiple times, but more like the bored look of the amusement park operator, who lets you out after the roller coaster ride, “Sure, you’re excited, but I do this all day.  Don’t forget to collect all your belongings.”

As I walked, slightly unstably toward the hospital entrance, I thought about how this was probably an experience an American would never have—never be allowed to have—in the States.  I wasn’t troubled that it took a little while to get the medicine we had ordered.  It gave me a chance to settle down a bit before the return boda ride.

Before I mounted the back of Martin’s boda I told him, “I’m not in a hurry.  No need to go fast fast.”  He laughed.  He did seem to take it a little slower, but made ample use of the sidewalk.  I felt like yelling out to pedestrians, “Sorry” but judging by their demeanors, this was just the way things are, and even if I am still not completely comfortable, I now have a much greater appreciation and understanding of this new culture of boda driving!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful that all our travels have gone smoothly. We are thankful for a wonderful weekend with all our kids and one of their friends.  We are very relieved and thankful that we were able to get a 3 month supply of our daughter’s medications (something that took over a week with lots of phone calls where the outcome was uncertain several times). We are thankful to work with an organization that values partnership and working interculturally. Our sisters on Clove Island were able to meet and study together, though not all were able to make it. Our teammate has heard that she can begin work at the hospital!

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for our teammate as she negotiates the terms and expectations of her volunteer work at the hospital. Continue to pray for our colleagues’ toddler— she has her follow-up scan to see if the intense treatment she has been doing has had a positive effect. We continue to pray for her healing and for her family in this exhausting ordeal. Pray for our travels and adjustment back to Clove Island. We will be traveling with some our daughter’s refrigerated medications (so she won’t have to bring them at the end of her school term). Pray that we wouldn’t have any trouble at airport security traveling with a cold bag. One of our island sister’s daughters has come down with horrible dental problems— pray for a relief from pain and for an easy solution to her problems (the islands only has very basic dentistry services). Continue to pray for our island sister on the small island who continues to face scrutiny and persecution— pray that she would remain encouraged and persevere!

Entering Marriage

 Islanders sometimes get married very quickly. Sometimes they don’t even know their future spouse because it was arranged by family members. Or sometimes, the initial conversation of interest proceeds directly to a marriage.

It has troubled us in the past, how often a prospective bride/groom hasn’t been able to answer basic questions about their spouse, the most fundamental of which is: “Are they a good person?”

An island bride and groom

I have often expressed concern in these situations. One time I was really strong in my misgivings. Our island friend was rushing into a marriage with a foreigner and there were red flags and bad circumstances all around. But every time I pressed my concerns to her mother, the answer was “Well, she’ll just divorce him. If it ends up bad, she’ll just divorce him.”

They did end up getting married. It was a sham of a marriage and they divorced.

On the islands, divorce is common. I think islanders still hope for long lasting marriages, but divorce happens a lot and there is a not much stigma stopping you from divorcing if that’s what you want.

As we were arriving back on the islands last month, there was another marriage in the works. We were only on the outskirts of it, not being close with either of the parties, but several of our friends and coworkers were quite involved and contacted us, looking to talk things through and perhaps get some advice or at least prayers.

On the surface it was a wonderful thing, a known island sister and a known island brother wanted to get married! We pray for more godly marriages on the islands, so this seems like an answer to prayer!

But from our perspective, they were rushing into it. They lived on different islands. They had both been married in the past. They hadn’t talked about where they would live, or what their married life might look like. They hadn’t even been an established couple when the idea of getting married was mentioned, and yet they were going to marry within days.

Our colleagues were trying to ask for caution, to slow things down. They mentioned ideas like premarital counseling, but this is a very foreign idea to islanders.  In fact at least one respected island brother was advising the couple to get married as soon as possible. The sentiment I heard was “that’s how islanders do it.” You get married and figure it out afterwards.

Now, we don’t want to be paternalistic and there are western traditions of going about marriage that are also flawed. But my mind went back to that previous bad island marriage to which I was close and I thought, is the reason that islanders feel okay rushing into marriage because divorce is seen as such an easy out?  So we advised others to warn the couple that the expectation in a godly marriage is that you are making a lifelong commitment and that there should be a lot of prayer for guidance, unity and clarity before moving forward.  

Ultimately, the wedding was delayed. Perhaps not long enough to make everyone comfortable—they waited at least another week or two! But there was at least time for some discussion, a bit of reflection and a lot of prayer.

Traveling in taxi from airport

We long for strong island marriages transformed by the good news.  But culture is complicated.  Clearly it is not just island marriages that need transformation, but pre-marriage as well.  This will not look like it does in America, but we hope and pray that over time and through practice, this too will be transformed into a process that is good, thoughtful and blessed.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for Islanders who have embraced the good news marrying one another.  This is certainly an answer to our prayers.  All of our travels went smoothly.  God even watched over us when Megan forgot her phone at check-in and got it back promptly and when Tom realized a passport had fallen out of his pocket before exiting the plane.  Both of these could have been a real headache, but God is good.  (We also are thankful for the realization that we travel better when we’re together.)  Our daughter’s doctor’s appointment went well, with the confirmation that the current treatment is helping and she will soon be able to be completely off steroids.  

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for this new marriage, that God would bless it and help them to love one another well as they navigate a new life together.  Pray for our stamina through long days of meetings—there are important subjects being discussed about the future of our organization in the region.  Continue to pray for our colleagues whose toddler daughter is being treated for a serious medical condition.  She is undergoing treatment now and will have more testing done on the 16th of October.  Pray that the tests will reveal complete recovery.  We will get to spend a few days with all our kids over next weekend.  Pray that we might have meaningful times together. Our daughter’s current treatment is working, but it looks to be difficult to get the medication— pray that we would find a consistent way to get the meds she needs. Pray that the sisters on Clove Island would meet this week after a long break from their monthly gatherings.